Supporting an elderly relative

Will Wilson · Oct 6, 2020

It occurred to me last night thinking about this that the answer to the original question is simple - ask him what he wants to do., it might take a while to get a straight answer and you might have to find some middle ground but only he will know. Like most things in life listening is probably the way forward.

Dry Rot · Oct 6, 2020

Greg101 said:
And if their eyes are to poor to read very well you could start them on podcasts, old radio shows, or audiobooks, basically just keep them thinking about something all the time.

The beauty of using a computer is that the text can be enlarged at the click of a button. Some us would be snookered if we didn't! Getting older people to use computers is sometimes a matter of showing them how they can find stuff they would be interested in. Then there is typing. If you are not familiar with key boards, just finding the right key can be confusing. But that takes time which nobody has a lot of these days. Trying to use a computer when you don't know how and can't get help can be very frustrating and often not worth bothering with.

Contrattacker · Oct 7, 2020

Get him a laptop and learn how to use it. After this, subscribe him to farming youtube channels, thefarmingforum and etc. That's all

MillyFyfe · Oct 18, 2020

Thanks for all your advice and comments.

I've got some jigsaws sorted, plenty of farming programmes lined up to watch and have accessed help to a befriending service through his GP. He comes up to the farm 3 times a day to help where possible, it is mainly in the evenings that he is a bit lost.

As we dont have a pub, or any amenities in the village it is difficult and he isn't a social person as has lived a very solitary life.

Appreciated all your comments

Lazy Sod · Nov 2, 2020

What stops him using a phone @MillyFyfe and does he drive at all?

Dry Rot · Nov 2, 2020

Lazy Sod said:
What stops him using a phone @MillyFyfe and he drive at all?

In his first post, the OP does say he can't do either.

MRT · Nov 2, 2020

What about making farming scene models? Make a model, give it to local kids to destroy playing with it make another one? Made this one with my son while I had a trapped nerve - it was a good pass time I must admit (maybe not good enough to do another one this side of 80. though)

MillyFyfe · Nov 3, 2020

Lazy Sod said:
What stops him using a phone @MillyFyfe and does he drive at all?

He has no inclination to use the phone or any other technology as everyone has always done things for him. He only has sight in one eye so is unable to drive. He seems content with jigsaws, farming newspapers etc. Its the company he misses but then when I create opportunities he doesn't seen interested. You can lead a horse to water...

MillyFyfe · Nov 3, 2020

Will Wilson said:
It occurred to me last night thinking about this that the answer to the original question is simple - ask him what he wants to do., it might take a while to get a straight answer and you might have to find some middle ground but only he will know. Like most things in life listening is probably the way forward.

Good point. I have asked him but he says he doesnt know. I might ask him again to keep him thinking

OGB · Nov 3, 2020

Dry Rot said:
I truly marvel at the Internet. I have three linkages on a mower and the pins joining them have enlarged/elongated the holes. Just researching how to go about repairing those holes has led me into some fascinating areas. Just thinking up different search terms to Google is interesting enough. American is DEFINITELY a different language! Just to confirm once more, I am over 80 and the Internet keeps my brain working. Facebook, Youtube, Google....yes, it can be exasperating at times, but it does make me think! Get him a PC and set it up, then make up a simple list of instructions how to use it just to get on line.

I regret not setting my Grandparents up with some sort of tablet / computer.
They were very involved in the rare breeds movement, and I now think the amount of pleasure and knowledge they could have had / shared would have been so uplifting for them... trouble is they led very simple lives, and myself, coming from a 'not very techy' family didn't realise the potential of the internet, and so didn't really pursue it early on enough. Sadly no Grandparents on my side are with us, but Grandparents on my other half's side are starting to use it a lot more... especially in the current global situation.

Y Fan Wen · Nov 3, 2020

My father went too early to use the internet but he would have found it like manna from heaven. He was a voracious reader and had the memory of an elephant. When his eyes deteriorated too much to read he and mum spent hours listening to audio books. I had subscribed them to a library charity (Calibre) and they came in boxes of compact cassettes. I suppose now they are downloaded or on CDs.

Dry Rot · Nov 3, 2020

Y Fan Wen said:
My father went too early to use the internet but he would have found it like manna from heaven. He was a voracious reader and had the memory of an elephant. When his eyes deteriorated too much to read he and mum spent hours listening to audio books. I had subscribed them to a library charity (Calibre) and they came in boxes of compact cassettes. I suppose now they are downloaded or on CDs.

Text on the small screen is easy to enlarge -- if you know how. I am doing it all the time! How about doing a search with Google on livestock breeds, then go into their Images? That should get a retired livestock farmer going!

I paid the car tax today and was impressed how easy it was. I don't often have praise for civil servants but following the flow chart was simplicity itself. But I have to say, some of the companies dealing in internet stuff (e.g. selling web sites, etc) are barely written in understandable English. (The best one I found recently was in Lithuania. Western sites were generally a disgrace). Surely it is not that difficult to hire an editor to check spelling and syntax?

Generally01 · Nov 4, 2020

OGB said:
I regret not setting my Grandparents up with some sort of tablet / computer.
They were very involved in the rare breeds movement, and I now think the amount of pleasure and knowledge they could have had / shared would have been so uplifting for them... trouble is they led very simple lives, and myself, coming from a 'not very techy' family didn't realise the potential of the internet, and so didn't really pursue it early on enough. Sadly no Grandparents on my side are with us, but Grandparents on my other half's side are starting to use it a lot more... especially in the current global situation.

The internet can be amazing when used properly, but when people start getting into degrading stuff like Politics!(alternative news sites) it can be extremely hard on them and anybody around them, even if it doesn't seem to be that way from their perspective.
This may not be very helpful on this thread, but i thought i would mention it because i know of a few such situations.(internet being used wrongly)
Also don't get me wrong politics are by far not the only misuse of the internet, just a very common one.

Dry Rot · Nov 4, 2020

Greg101 said:
The internet can be amazing when used properly, but when people start getting into degrading stuff like Politics!(alternative news sites) it can be extremely hard on them and anybody around them, even if it doesn't seem to be that way from their perspective.
This may not be very helpful on this thread, but i thought i would mention it because i know of a few such situations.(internet being used wrongly)
Also don't get me wrong politics are by far not the only misuse of the internet, just a very common one.

I don't know how they work but there are "parental controls" that parents can use to block porn and other undesirable sites. If an older person has reached the stage where their online activity needs monitoring, maybe these are worth looking into? There seem to be dozens of them! Having said that, if anyone was trying to nanny my online time, I would probably be meeting with my solicitor to change my will!

The one blocker I would not be without is Truecall (and beware of the lookalike product that seems to have jumped on the band wagon!). If any unidentified number arrives on my caller display, I first do a Google to see if they are recognised nuisance callers. Then, if they are, they get blocked! I have pages and pages of blocked numbers and the phone hardly ever rings now! If they can't read and write emails, I probably don't want to know.

Pennine Ploughing · Nov 4, 2020

Dry Rot said:
The one blocker I would not be without is Truecall (and beware of the lookalike product that seems to have jumped on the band wagon!). If any unidentified number arrives on my caller display,

If someone calls me from a private number, I respect their privacy and don't answer

Dry Rot · Nov 4, 2020

Pennine Ploughing said:
If someone calls me from a private number, I respect their privacy and don't answer

Truecall can be programmed to do many things. BTW, I have nothing to do with the company except for being a satisfied customer! Being a bit slow in this area, I got their technician to set mine up remotely. I don't even hear the phone ring when 'number with-helds' call and all they get is an engaged tone.

Highland Mule · Nov 4, 2020

Dry Rot said:
Truecall can be programmed to do many things. BTW, I have nothing to do with the company except for being a satisfied customer! Being a bit slow in this area, I got their technician to set mine up remotely. I don't even hear the phone ring when 'number with-helds' call and all they get is an engaged tone.

How does that work with hospital/ police etc? Don't some of those use number witheld?

Dry Rot · Nov 4, 2020

Highland Mule said:
How does that work with hospital/ police etc? Don't some of those use number witheld?

Good question, but nothing is perfect.

Withheld Number Caller

NHS comes up in caller display but they should know I won't answer as I am deaf and they have my email and home addresses. (I don't really understand why NHS Audiology insists on the telephone and won't let deaf patients use email, but hey ho). The police are blocked since my guns were seized (since returned) as I wanted evidence in writing so I could make formal complaints. That worked. I made four complaints and three were upheld. The fourth, that they had tried to coerce me into voluntarily signing away my guns for destruction by claiming it was "just a receipt", was dismissed as "a mistake with the paperwork". (Yeah, right!

).

Generally01 · Nov 4, 2020

Pennine Ploughing said:
If someone calls me from a private number, I respect their privacy and don't answer

Since i work with guys who don't have mobile phones i have to pick up any calls in case it is for one of them. But there are many scams that use local numbers and that gets disgusting especially when you try to call back and reach the guy that actually has the number that called.

Y Fan Wen · Nov 5, 2020

Pennine Ploughing said:
If someone calls me from a private number, I respect their privacy and don't answer

Which is unfortunate if it is someone wanting to speak to you.

Supporting an elderly relative

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