promises promises

kiwi pom

Member
Location
canterbury NZ
It,s a case of the dangling carrot syndrome, why o why can,t families sort there sh#t out, like yorkshire andrew said, only one winner there, and there Waring the black stockings.

When I see these stories I wonder if the story changes over time for both sides.
We always hear about children staying at home claiming they've worked for nothing and been promised everything will be theirs one day. Is there another side? how many have stayed at home despite being told they should really go off and make their own way in the world for a while? They've stayed at home because its easier and they think they will get it all one day and their parents have just let them.
I think there's more in the second camp than people think, I certainly know some.
 
When I see these stories I wonder if the story changes over time for both sides.
We always hear about children staying at home claiming they've worked for nothing and been promised everything will be theirs one day. Is there another side? how many have stayed at home despite being told they should really go off and make their own way in the world for a while? They've stayed at home because its easier and they think they will get it all one day and their parents have just let them.
I think there's more in the second camp than people think, I certainly know some.
I’ve stayed at home work daft hours but still bought my own house car ect

You can’t be very clever to agree to work for nothing
 

kiwi pom

Member
Location
canterbury NZ
I’ve stayed at home work daft hours but still bought my own house car ect

You can’t be very clever to agree to work for nothing

I agree although if they had most things paid for and were just given a few quid a week 'beer money' they may still be better off than leaving home and getting a no qualification entry level job and having to pay all the bills.
One thing I've noticed since living here is a lot more farmers sons and daughters leave the farm to go to university and work in better paid jobs then come back to take over the business when mum and dad retire.
 

Bruce Almighty

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Warwickshire
When I see these stories I wonder if the story changes over time for both sides.
We always hear about children staying at home claiming they've worked for nothing and been promised everything will be theirs one day. Is there another side? how many have stayed at home despite being told they should really go off and make their own way in the world for a while? They've stayed at home because its easier and they think they will get it all one day and their parents have just let them.
I think there's more in the second camp than people think, I certainly know some.

Might be true for some, but me & my brother certainly aren't in the second camp. We both could've gone out & earned big money. We stuck at it & worked our way out of a financial mess.
We both finally became "wealthy" thanks to inheritance when Dad died in 2012. If it hadn't been for me & my brother's hard graft, there wouldn't have been anything left to inherit.
 

kiwi pom

Member
Location
canterbury NZ
Might be true for some, but me & my brother certainly aren't in the second camp. We both could've gone out & earned big money. We stuck at it & worked our way out of a financial mess.
We both finally became "wealthy" thanks to inheritance when Dad died in 2012. If it hadn't been for me & my brother's hard graft, there wouldn't have been anything left to inherit.

Yes many a farm has been saved due to the hard work of sons/daughters and i'm glad your situation worked out well.
You can see how things get complicated quickly for some families though. What if there wasn't enough work for two brothers to stay at home or they fell out along the way. More brothers and sisters would make things complicated and of course there's always the chance dad only leaves the farm to one brother because he thinks the other ones wife is a gold digger.
There's also the problem on some farms when dad still runs the farm and hasn't handed over responsibility and his grandkids are leaving school, do you skip a generation as 'the son' might be close to retiring.
Not hard to see how lawyers make a fortune out of it all.
 

icanshootwell

Member
Location
Ross-on-wye
When I see these stories I wonder if the story changes over time for both sides.
We always hear about children staying at home claiming they've worked for nothing and been promised everything will be theirs one day. Is there another side? how many have stayed at home despite being told they should really go off and make their own way in the world for a while? They've stayed at home because its easier and they think they will get it all one day and their parents have just let them.
I think there's more in the second camp than people think, I certainly know some.
I do agree with some of what you say, but i do think in most cases the son or daughter are used as cheap labour, I think if most parents were clear at the start, when there kids are in there 20,s, a lot of problems would cease to exist.
 

Jackov Altraids

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Devon
I do agree with some of what you say, but i do think in most cases the son or daughter are used as cheap labour, I think if most parents were clear at the start, when there kids are in there 20,s, a lot of problems would cease to exist.


You are right, but when is the start?
Helping while at school, helping while at college, while looking for work......
And the parents are waiting to see if they are committed, have a 'reliable' partner etc.
It's very easy to see how everyone let's things drift 'to see what happens...'.
 

WillH

Member
Location
Huddersfield
Maybe they want to leave the farm to his sister as she has shown real interest rather than split it

Perhaps he thinks as a son he has more right .

Could end up paying him compensation for low pay

Only speculating but either way not good when families fall out. Parts of ours have fallen out eventually both sides came round though
 
I agree although if they had most things paid for and were just given a few quid a week 'beer money' they may still be better off than leaving home and getting a no qualification entry level job and having to pay all the bills.
One thing I've noticed since living here is a lot more farmers sons and daughters leave the farm to go to university and work in better paid jobs then come back to take over the business when mum and dad retire.

That can work but equally you need to have a business and infrastructure to come back to. Do you come back to a business in your mid 40's and then start borrowing a heap to get it in the direction you need to? Should you not have got involved earlier etc.?

Once a farm is rented out it can be difficult to run back up again.
 

glasshouse

Member
Location
lothians
Might be true for some, but me & my brother certainly aren't in the second camp. We both could've gone out & earned big money. We stuck at it & worked our way out of a financial mess.
We both finally became "wealthy" thanks to inheritance when Dad died in 2012. If it hadn't been for me & my brother's hard graft, there wouldn't have been anything left to inherit.
Did your sisters not get an equal share?
 

Cowcorn

Member
Mixed Farmer
Families eh? Two other brothers and three sisters all expensively educated university degrees given help to buy first houses and with good careers.
When my father died and left the farm to my brother and i the all were in shock wailing that the got nothing lucky for me the will was very thorough and laid out exactly what the got over the years while iworked
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

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Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

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As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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