diary of a comedy sheep farm

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
right...just in...had me tea(y).....where to begin:scratchhead:....yesterday i suppose:rolleyes:

farmers mental health has been in the news recently and i am a 'sufferer'....10 yrs ago when my gp said i was depressed i laughed at him...but he was right and i've been on seratonin uptake inhibitors every since...the trouble is if i forget to take them for a couple days i'm in a mess.....it manifests itself as a sort of persecution complex...coupled with getting angry.....i call them my 'rage pills'.....anyhow yesterday afternoon whilst ploughing sam papworth (papworth are a well known norfolk farming family) said a little bit on the radio and really summed it up....i can't remember his words exactly but the gist....farmers have gone from respected producers of food to public enemy no1 and financially farming is grim

thursday..in a bad mood...got through...finished fert spreading and got stuck into ploughing....land is like a desert :(.....later 'K' shows me a wound on her forearm...i think she has orf:banghead::banghead:.....we've been wearing gloves/washing meticulously but some hay prickled hey arm and in it got:(

wednesday ...better mood...'K' was having day off anyway...i've told her not to come back til tuesday at the earliest anyway.....got in early did some ploughing....then the rounds and two dead lambs....both poor doers and half expected TBH.......weaned some orphans.....orf in orphanage is clearing up in some and breaking out in others....the nz suffolk lambs don't seem to get it...but the beltex are chronic:banghead:... off to vet for blue spray....back for early lunch

finish the ploughing bar headlands....back to yard to get oldest nash for rolling....cuppa + rollie and agronomist turns up.....ewe 811 + twins wanders past:rolleyes:...i don't use much chem these days and i research what i need so we work out a plan:).....check ewe lambs...one lambing ....i leave her to it and go rolling

5:30 my nash chugs back in yard except there several ewes/lambs wandering about...the 'maginot line' has collapsed:eek:.....the ewe lamb is struggling:rolleyes:.....i help her first...decent single(y)..little shocked i have to spend a few mins to get her licking lamb;)....i think about leaving the escapees until later....until i see two heading up the drive:banghead:....takes me 40 mins.....bloody things have a tactic....a couple arrive...i get some food take them back....another couple appear....more fudging food.....and so on.....every time i open the hurdle a certain poll dorset tries to get back out again..talk about groundhog day:banghead: .....back to iodine new lamb...two fecking hooves + tail hanging out....i get that out alive...colostrum them...hungry little buggers:)

home and mrs spin's old school friend (osf) is round....cat brings live rabbit in she screams...rabbit runs under bookcase....cat goes out gets another rabbit...dead....'osf' screams again.....mrs spin demands i remove rabbit....i use it as a mascot on 'osf's car....i wonder if she'll notice:D:D
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
'anyday will be fine and please apologise to gerry for my not being at church this evening....i'm tired/dirty and fed up....much like jesus was i suppose'...i press send and the email is on it's way to 'mr gerry'....the date is for an evening farm walk i do every year for church funds....showing the stewardship work mainly....i got the latest claim form today...with a little disclaimer attached that it might not be accurate:banghead:......the stewardship,on reflection, is really buggering me up....because of various 'you may not before 14th feb clauses' meaning i get to this stage of year desperately trying to catch up.....my agronomist 'blinked' the other day when i told him how much we were owed..'how on earth are you managing?' he exclaimed......by knocking myself out trying to save every possible penny is not to far from the truth

the church service tonight was going to be a short affair but involved symbolic washing of each others hands and feet....i didn't have time to shower so i'm out:D:D ...the reason for that is 'BLOSSOM':banghead::banghead:....mum's pet herdwick:rolleyes:....she arrived as a stray via a phone call from someone in the next village saying my sheep were on the road:rolleyes:....arriving she and her lambs run off but not before i id them as not mine...a large flock of sheep two fields away give a clue...i call the farmer...'nothing to do with me but i'll call my grazier':rolleyes:....next day phone rings 'i've just put your sheep back in the field,,,she was on the road'....GUESS WHO:banghead::banghead:.....ok phone arrams....talk about traceability....the trail goes cold 2 yrs earlier at newark market....police advise me to keep her...i put red tags in.....come shearing i get a message that the grazier is a ewe short...i shoot the messenger 'well he better effin come and see me and explain why he didn't recognize her while she was on the road'....i hear no more but on reflection i should've taken her back there and then:banghead:....her soleful face and love of a titbit made her a fave of mum and 'K' but that bitch will go through any kind of fence at will:banghead::banghead:.....she's wintered with the ewe lambs but i amalgamated two groups AM...'blossom' didn't follow .....she went up the yard...'let her wander a bit' pleads mum and drives off with a titbit for her....i'm to busy to argue:rolleyes:

3 tegs have lambed and some forklift feeding keep me busy for a while.....whilst accessing the fodder beet a dorset sneaks past...i'll get her later...i'm on a deadline....mum's an x-ray noon at cromer...the problem is we're waiting on a feed delivery:banghead:....my tenant kindly offers to take mum....15 mins after they leave the feed arrives...then the feed lorry and dustcart meet each other:rolleyes:....i'm just having a rollie+cuppa when i hear a vehicle coming very slowly down the drive:scratchhead:....it's our new guests driving that poll dorset home...they think it's hilarious:scratchhead:

lunch:)...then ploughing...closing stages but by 4pm i'm fed up

this morning i had a poorly ewe in a paddock....i go check...she's dead:(...two more orphans:banghead:...i tie ewe to back of mule....grab lambs....manouvre home...by gate 'peacock' stops car...'you've a sheep in the lane':banghead::banghead::banghead:....drop lambs in stable...tow ewe into yard...off in search of stray....can't find:scratchhead:.....hail some walkers 'have you seen a sheep?'....'oh yes...that way' they point.....off i go....no trace:scratchhead:....trundling back to the yard i realise which sheep it is.....i meet the walkers coming back....'you've gone past her' they say...'was she a big grey shaggy thing?' i ask ....to which they nod and laugh:rolleyes:....'BLOSSOM':banghead::banghead:......back at the top of the drive a neighbour, a dog walker and 'the owl' are trying to get her back down our drive....she goes straight past 'the owl':rolleyes:.....my arrival brings her to heel and she trots down the drive...until everybody else is out of sight...then straight thru the hedge:rolleyes:....THATS IT!!!....in the hedge after i go...pick her up and put her over the nearest fence with the rams:rolleyes:

bottle feed the new orphans....then get a bag for dead ewe...i'm just getting her in when i glance up and 'mr guest' is standing at the barns back door waving cheerily and pointing....an exlana x has jumped outta the pen behind me:banghead::banghead:

i'd like to say the day finally ended.....but i'm now back off to lambing shed.....why do we do it again:scratchhead:
 

yellowbelly

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
N.Lincs
the church service tonight was going to be a short affair but involved symbolic washing of each others hands and feet....i didn't have time to shower so i'm out:D:D
Can't help but feel you've missed a trick there @spin cycle :confused: Sweaty feet are just one of the many side effects suffered by hard pressed shepherds at this time of year - to have got yours washed for free (so to speak) would seem like a no brainer to me:whistle:...........


...........mind you whether the poor parishioner, who drew the short straw, and sat next to you in church would have agreed may have been a different matter:eek::wtf::p:p
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
DING DANG DO!!!:)...my 'max and paddy' reaction to the messy fry up in the pan that mum had cooked for lunch...two slices of toast..ketchup...SOooo greasy......i'm sure it took 5 mins off my life ...i wash it down with nescafe and rollie to deduct another 5:rolleyes:.....if those 10 mins would be spent dribbling in oap home then WTF

it'd been quite a morning:rolleyes:.....early on nothing doing laming wise so finished the ploughing(y)(y)(y).....then home with blue spray/betamox to treat hospital lambs...orf:banghead::banghead:......'boy' came back up with me and he and mum set about feeding....i set to washing milk feeder out/replacing teats.....voice from behind me ..it's our 'jovial guest' (jg):) ...'sorry to bother you but there's water coming through the ceiling in the barn':eek::eek::eek::eek:.....off we go...ladder...into loft....it seems the hot tank is overflowing and the sorta air gap cuppy thing that should catch the drips is leaking:scratchhead:....i play about...there's an olive not seated right:scratchhead:...i stop the leak but thats only a symptom:scratchhead:...'the water's scorching...d/you think thats the problem?' jg chips in....he's right....the thermostat is set on 4....jg suggests 2....later i check/mop up excess water around tank....it has stopped dripping into the overflow(y)....but honestly you have to be ready for anything in our job:rolleyes:
'boy' is getting on(y)....he wasn't home yesterday...he was 'up the city'....'doing course work and watching game of thrones with the boys'.....the second part was true...but 'her highness' tells it different....'he's on a date' she splits:D:D:D.....brings a tear to ya eye..my boy chasing tail:D:D:D:D

back to this morning....satisfied everything is in order sheep wise:).......well ish:rolleyes:.....i then grease the plough(y)....take it off and roll the ploughed headlands:)

and lunch:)....sooo..greasy:D.....i've decided to treat easter like 4 saturdays so couple hrs dossing this afternoon:D:D

NOW...i've been working on a formula to indicate sheep getting out....it'll save column inches and give me a benchmark to try and 'improve....so ladies and gentlemen i give you 'Sheep Not Out Today'....or 'SNOT'....'SNOT' will have a value of 15 each day...for every sheep that gets out i'll deduct one....thus a 'SNOT' value of 5 means 10 sheep escaped that day....every new day the score resets to 15:)..in practice i'll take any positive 'SNOT' score:D:D:D

shower and back to work 4pm....blades have won:(...leeds winning:eek:..... our manager refusing to change our midfield:banghead::banghead:

tidy up(y).....all quiet apart from big lamb running around with empty tubby bucket round neck:banghead:....can't get near him....not sure if best left or not:scratchhead:

right pigeon club then fil's for city....leeds lost:eek:...peacocks not gonna be happy:D:D

SNOT 14(y)
 

blackieman83

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Co. Down
IMG-20190419-WA0002.jpg


I'll just leave this here
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
first thing..ewe lamb with dead lamb hanging out:( + slight prolapse when i got it out:(..... twin from another lambing cold/hungry:banghead:....end of day....she has harness on + seems to be letting the fostered twin to feed(y).....treat the other ewe...unsure if it's just soft feet or retained af/birth:scratchhead:

'K' is back(y)...not got orf(y)....either that or cider vinegar is a miracle cure:scratchhead:.....light duties only:)

'arkwrights'...bit of banter:D

.manage a bit of cultivating + drill awkward/small former bird cover plot with last of barley + westerwold:)

lunch + nap:)

rendevous with mrs spin + cinders at the house of 'osf' .....for their oldests 18th drinkies...have laugh with 'little plumber' ...old team mate from pool team days:D:D...'lump man' also there:)

off to take 'cinders' to kelling friends.....embarrass by playing rave cd loud in leafy suburb 'OMG...STOP..LET ME GET OUT NOW'....totally worth it:D:D:D

check + tidy up at farm

kebab shop then pigeon club:)

that is all(y)
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

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  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

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Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

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As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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