No £ucking toilet paper!

David. · Mar 11, 2020

That has just transported me back to secondary school, when one of the lads curled out an enormous turd in a store cupboard. Still chuckle now, at the thought of him saying it was already there when challenged by headmaster, and it was still steaming

.

Bald Rick · Mar 11, 2020

I laugh at your multipack purchases ....

JP1 · Mar 11, 2020

JP1 · Mar 11, 2020

Dman2 · Mar 12, 2020

Wife came back from doing fortnightly shop last night
No f**king toilet paper in either Asda or Tesco in Hartlepool
Starting to regret spraying those docks off last year

Dman2 · Mar 12, 2020

When she left the house this morning her parting words were:
" Your mission this morning whether you choose to accept or not is to find some bog roll "

Think there are still a couple of rolls of Blue roll down in workshop

Paddington · Mar 12, 2020

Got some heavy duty kitchen rolls in the workshop. I suppose if push comes to shove, if you pardon the expression, they could be cut into two for other uses, though we have a septic tank.

sawdust · Mar 12, 2020

Paddington said:
Got some heavy duty kitchen rolls in the workshop. I suppose if push comes to shove, if you pardon the expression, they could be cut into two for other uses, though we have a septic tank.

The paper doesn't need to go down the toilet...

Dman2 · Mar 12, 2020

Tesco saves the day

Didn`t go daft
These are the only 2 packs

That wouldn`t fit on back of pickup

Oat · Mar 12, 2020

simples....

Haplo2481 · Mar 12, 2020

So I have just been into Tesco!

Honestly it was shocking - they had no toilet paper at all.
Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any.
A firm NO was the answer.

Walking back to the toilets with my trousers round my ankles was a walk I never want to do again.

upnortheast · Mar 12, 2020

Haplo2481 said:
So I have just been into Tesco!

Honestly it was shocking - they had no toilet paper at all.
Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any.
A firm NO was the answer.

Walking back to the toilets with my trousers round my ankles was a walk I never want to do again.

Wins the Joke of the day prize.
Love jokes where the punch lines takes a change of direction to what you expect

JP1 · Mar 13, 2020

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10156676094987455

Haplo2481 · Mar 13, 2020

Still Farming · Mar 13, 2020

Henarar · Mar 15, 2020

https://www.facebook.com/542938656111728/posts/835713206834270

jendan · Mar 15, 2020

Henarar said:
https://www.facebook.com/542938656111728/posts/835713206834270

She seems a very pleasant old lady.

Pilatus · Mar 15, 2020

I hope this is a spoof story. I have just read on Rod Liddles page of the Sunday Times, that a a couple from Warminster, Doreen Noakes76 and husband Ronald78 were suffocated in their sleep when 11tons of hoarded lavatory paper smashed through from their attic into the bedroom beneath. Her daughter Julie51 said her mother had been stockpiling toilet paper when ever an emergency showed up on the headlines since the Cuban Missile Crisis!!!! :scratchhead:

David. · Mar 15, 2020

I'll suffer the inevitable opprobrium if it is genuine, but made me laugh nevertheless.

Bald Rick · Mar 15, 2020

No wonder there’s a bog paper shortage ... 1 person coughs, 100 sh!t themselves

No £ucking toilet paper!

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