I love the farm, but my wife wants to move.

Bones

Member
Location
n Ireland
We moved off the farm about 18 months ago, partly to be away from the constant pressure and stress. Not in the city but a small village 12 miles away.

We are both reflecting now on that decision with mixed emotions, but at least we both can have a joint view on it all.

There are pros and cons to both. I wouldn't rule out us moving back to the farmhouse (currently rented out for good money). And more importantly we will make that decision together. Wife and kids miss aspects of life on the farm also.

My wife is from an urban background also and works away from the farm
I think the secret is to let your wife do her things and you do yours on the farm, keep her away from farming work, what kind of pressure and stress would you have
 

Flatlander

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lorette Manitoba
Very sorry to hear that your wife is having thoughts about moving to the city. I married a city girl that had little interest in grain farming but she has grown to accept the long hours during busy times. It’s the feeling of being a single parent for that time that sucks my wife dry of love for the farm life. Winter time I make an effort to be in fir dinner and putting kids to bed. We try to take a weeks vacation just two of us and then a couple of weeks with the kids. Until you’ve spent a week with kids 24/7 and not been out on the farm only then will you realize how mind numbingly soul draining kids can be. We have had our tough times but I’m learning to notice when the stress level starts to pile up on her. I couldn’t live in the city and I don’t think my wife could now. Not sure how old your kids are but if they are anything like mine hey get excited about new things and would move to the city but would soon want the freedom the farm offers. Not a situation I’d like to be in but it certainly needs addressing before it turns very messy. Don’t like to say it but could it be a subtle way of your wife wanting a fresh start without the farm and you. Bite the bullet and talk it thru.
 

daveydiesel1

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Co antrim
When o got married we struggled as i was workin long hours on the farm then 6 months later i got hired into a new road build doin the diesel (hence the name davydiesel) and i was workin mental hours like 5.30am to somewhere between 9 and 11 pm 6 days a weekas stil had farm work to do in the evenings, it was a big struggle on our marriage. Wouldnt be doin as big hours now but still be doin between 12-14 hours a day but in fairness the mrs has learned to live with that and has a few good friends with kids the same age which is good as she doesnt feel so lonely. But iv also grown as in notice the work she does and compliment her on it and talk to her about her day, take a better interest in her things. 1 thing iv learned is woman likes to talk about themselves so ask the questions and listen and appear interested even if ur not. A conversation goes a long way and can turn a frown upside down, anythins better than silence and tension
 

Classichay

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
The moon
Think I’d be asking her to send her new address, if you move to the city you will go insane and have this issue, my ex tried this stunt, she got so in a knott she sabotaged the relationship. Best thing she did both her and our farrier got sent along the way. Once their minds set on not being happy they find ways to get it not intentionally but it just magnetises trouble 😶😓
 

shumungus

Member
Livestock Farmer
Don't know why you are all giving your advice, the OP started this thread on the 8th Feb and that's the last we have seen of him. I would say this thread is a wind up or posted by somebody that was hanging out of the back of her and looking to antagonize the husband who is possibly a member on here.
 

daveydiesel1

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Co antrim
Don't know why you are all giving your advice, the OP started this thread on the 8th Feb and that's the last we have seen of him. I would say this thread is a wind up or posted by somebody that was hanging out of the back of her and looking to antagonize the husband who is possibly a member on here.
But how would the husband know it was directed at him unless he already knew about the affair in which case surely hed be kickin her out anyway
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

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  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

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Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

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As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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