Mentoring an addict

willy · Apr 14, 2021

Could you would you?

We often live a life that we feel Is wholesome, but have we actually been up against it that we fall foul of an addiction. Lots of different addictions out there, but for some reason heroin has a stigmatism like no other. Well I ask you as a human and a father, mother, sister, brother, aunt or uncle to look beyond this untalked about addiction.

Its actually a lot more common than we would like to think, it's also a lot more less offensive to us as we would think, I through the charity LRSN have met one of the nicest and most trustworthy person I could wish to meet, but he has an addiction, and yes it's heroin. He's the best shearer I know and proba ly one of the best stockmen I know.

All he needed was a chance to do it without pressure. Next time you see a person down on their luck, don't ask what went wrong but ask if you could offer a solution.

SteveHants · Apr 14, 2021

Yes, of course, If I was working for myself again.

Addicts aren't inherently useless - my old man is a functioning alcoholic and always managed to work full time (before age and retirement) alongside his addiction. I don't see why I wouldn't give a chance to someone, especially given that alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs out there, and plenty of people (myself included) don't attach a stigma to it, and/or enjoy it semi-regularly.

Muddyroads · Apr 14, 2021

It’s all too easy to point the finger of blame at someone, after all “they’re doing it to themselves”. But unless you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, who are we to blame or assume?
There but for the grace of God etc.

Sharpy · Apr 14, 2021

I've employed an ex heroin addict, his backstory was heartbreaking and his decent into addiction was a way to escape the pain of his past. These folk need a leg up and an occasional strong arm to support them. Interestingly he said heroin wasn't the problem, it was the crimes he committed to feed his habit that were the problem.
Would/could I mentor an addict? Yes, but it would have to be the right person.

willy · Apr 15, 2021

Muddyroads said:
It’s all too easy to point the finger of blame at someone, after all “they’re doing it to themselves”. But unless you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, who are we to blame or assume?
There but for the grace of God etc.

Exactly well said

Stevethemeat · Apr 15, 2021

Had 2 in the past and the first one was drink problem he was never late always last to leave and a great asset everyone said don’t take him on I’m glad I did
2nd one was heroin learnt the trade for 2 years we were felling a lot of trees at the time worked hard then left never herd from him for years till I saw him on Tv with he’s own arborcuktural business and had won an award
Both members I was verry proud of
So yes give them a chance and they will repay

Dead Rabbits · Apr 15, 2021

Yeah I’ve employed a few. Worked around active users, lived in areas where a lot of people have some sort of chemical dependency, some of them close friends.

I have zero positive experiences to share. I know of no real success stories. Consider what you want to deal with on a daily basis. It can be extremely exhausting. Damn neared all of them follow a predictable cycle of sober/relapsed that correlates directly to how reliable and useful they are and how well their home life is going.

GeorgeK · Apr 15, 2021

Tough call, most addicts will only have any chance of quitting when they hit rock bottom and have to decide between living or dying. It's a choice they have to make for themselves it can't be for anyone else. They also need something to live for, but by the time they have lost their family, job and home there aren't nearly enough reasons to endure the pain of recovery. How many millionaire Hollywood A-listers succumb to addiction every year? And these are people with access to the best care and treatment money can buy.
I speak as someone who has been an addict, it's hell and as Johnny Cash sang about San Quentin prison I walked away a wiser, weaker man. Without the farm and a loving family to return to I don't see how I would have made it.
Frankly if recovering addicts are sent back to the same area and life after 12 months where their 'friends' are still using and the dealers are still on the corners they have almost no hope of staying clean. Most long term addicts for whom it has become a way of life cannot recover. I don't know what the answer is.

Yale · Apr 15, 2021

It’s a complicated issue because it all depends what the addiction is to,and to what extent.

Its a bit like a racist label.

Our daughter as an example likes sugary food,is that sufficient to label a person an addict?

I think society has a problem with the label ‘addict’ as it’s a broad ranging one without detail.

When you look into psychology there is no way to categorise any person as we all have ‘addictions‘ in some way.

Hell,I know people who are addicted to farming!

holwellcourtfarm · Apr 15, 2021

Everyone deserves a chance but I would only take on an addict on the basis of total honesty. The first time I discovered they'd lied to me they'd be out. I'd rather hear the truth of what is happening in their daily life and so know what to expect.

I speak from experience of living with a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years and close knowledge of several others.

GeorgeK · Apr 15, 2021

Yale said:
It’s a complicated issue because it all depends what the addiction is to,and to what extent.

Its a bit like a racist label.

Our daughter as an example likes sugary food,is that sufficient to label a person an addict?

I think society has a problem with the label ‘addict’ as it’s a broad ranging one without detail.

When you look into psychology there is no way to categorise any person as we all have ‘addictions‘ in some way.

Hell,I know people who are addicted to farming!

There are many definitions of addiction, I prefer 'A compulsive and harmful behaviour.' Yes there are lots of addictions where people are unable to stop repeatedly making very poor decisions. Sex, food, exercise, gambling, hoarding, anything that is pleasurable or offers relief can be addictive and ruin lives.
Addiction is attained when the behaviour starts causing serious negative effects to us or those around us but we are unable to stop.
Sometimes the only way is to swap one addiction for another. Routine, exercise and healthy eating are still dependencies an addict needs in order to function but these are compulsions where the positives usually outweigh the negatives.

Courier · Apr 15, 2021

SteveHants said:
Yes, of course, If I was working for myself again.

Addicts aren't inherently useless - my old man is a functioning alcoholic and always managed to work full time (before age and retirement) alongside his addiction. I don't see why I wouldn't give a chance to someone, especially given that alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs out there, and plenty of people (myself included) don't attach a stigma to it, and/or enjoy it semi-regularly.

If (when) Alcohol is illegal it doesn't disappear but there is less chance for control and revenue for the state. It just creates black markets and increases the profits for organised crime - Same is true of heroin etc.

On the other hand when the addiction is a passion to your vocation no-one complains except the bank manager....

Ffermer Bach · Apr 15, 2021

This is a very interesting article on addiction, she says that the problem is the appetites we all have: sex, incident, structure, contact, recognition and stimulus. one ore more is not being met, and the addict uses addictive behaviour to replace the missing need. Therefore the needs are the basis of the addiction, and a layer on top of that is the needs of the addiction, but to cure the addiction you need to get to the source.

https://tatraining.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/appetite-Path-Model-Mardula-J.pdf

delilah · Apr 15, 2021

For anyone interested in providing support through their farm talk to these folks :

https://www.farmgarden.org.uk/knowledge-base/article/what-care-farming

Danllan · Apr 15, 2021

Have before and would again, but... only in certain jobs and only - as @holwellcourtfarm has written - with complete disclosure and honesty; it would also depend on the individual and where they are in the 'cycle'.

However, the reality is that there are some jobs I'd never employ them for or trust them in, sad but true.

holwellcourtfarm · Apr 15, 2021

Danllan said:
Have before and would again, but... only in certain jobs and only - as @holwellcourtfarmthe reality is that there are some jobs I'd never employ them for or trust them in, sad but true.

Absolutely.

It does worry me that so many folk today drive cars on the road under the influence of addictive substances. Every time I use the roads I place my safety in the hands of others who see fit to dive under the influence.

scottrac · Apr 15, 2021

if i'm honest i'm not sure.
I took on my nephew 3 years ago when he admitted he was an addict (coke)
mainly to try and give him something to do and help him get off it (new trade,i own a garage)
So many lies for first year then to top it off my other mechanic left so started to rely on my nephew
Lost count of the amount of all nighters i had to do as i'd book work in and he wouldn't show up.
the thing that sorted him out was getting cought driving twice within 2 days so lost his licence and had to rely on me to take him to work and home.
he is doing fine now and although only had his licence back a few months is reliable.
I think it took the shock of the police/ban etc and getting out of the circle of so called friends he was in to do it.
it's so hard for me to get my head around how much money it costs to get a 20 min high!!
Apart from anything else i'm to tight with money to do drugs

I think I would do it again if i didn't have to rely on them and could cope if they didn't turn up and only for certain jobs.

scottrac · Apr 15, 2021

holwellcourtfarm said:
Everyone deserves a chance but I would only take on an addict on the basis of total honesty. The first time I discovered they'd lied to me they'd be out. I'd rather hear the truth of what is happening in their daily life and so know what to expect.

I speak from experience of living with a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years and close knowledge of several others.

Don't think you will be taking one on then as in my experience they are very good at lying,
They have to be to stop everyone finding out what they are/were doing.
Sad and maybe if they were further down the line to recovery honesty may come but at the beginning they arn't.
Thats only my experience though and i'm sure and hope they are not all the same

holwellcourtfarm · Apr 15, 2021

scottrac said:
Don't think you will be taking one on then as in my experience they are very good at lying,
They have to be to stop everyone finding out what they are/were doing.
Sad and maybe if they were further down the line to recovery honesty may come but at the beginning they arn't.
Thats only my experience though and i'm sure and hope they are not all the same

Exactly. That's the point.

It's the lying and hiding stuff that's the biggest problem. The risks to an employer of allowing an addict to operate farm machinery whilst under influence just don't bear thinking about.

Derrick Hughes · Apr 15, 2021

I'm afraid the Health and Safety risk on most farms would be to great

Mentoring an addict

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