- Location
- M6 Hard shoulder
Think they call it wrestling control
What do you do when you're absolutely exhausted?
- Thread starter Rob91
- Start date
- Status
There comes a time when you have to grow some balls and become a man , not the down trodden son , the old man needs to be told you need a wage or you are off , he`ll have to pay a laborer at least £20k to replace you so he may as well pay you .
If the old man gets nasty and it all turns to rat sh** go straight to a lawyer and claim your back pay , I know of two farmers sons who have taken the old man to court for back pay , one went back to work for him after the dust settled.
Lili
Member
- Location
- Aberystwyth hinterland
As an owner of 50% of the business has your mother any influence on your father? I assume she knows how you're feeling about the present situation.
Chae1
Member
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
As above if it's got to stage you need to go to samaritans get the fudge out of there.
Just forget work you've put in up till now. Sometimes your first loss is your best loss. Leave and cut all ties. You've given him a chance and put forward your views/opinions with accountant and advisors. He might even respect you for it and leave you something anyway. Or in 5 years he might be on his deathbed and have a change of heart.
Just forget work you've put in up till now. Sometimes your first loss is your best loss. Leave and cut all ties. You've given him a chance and put forward your views/opinions with accountant and advisors. He might even respect you for it and leave you something anyway. Or in 5 years he might be on his deathbed and have a change of heart.
Oliveau
Member
- Location
- Indre et Loire, France
I don't think that the possible inheritance is at the forefront of the OP's mind at the moment - on that subject he's posted on the thread 'Family succession....' which needs to be read in conjunction with this thread.
The main issue is that he seems to be working excessive hours [for peanuts] and he's worn out. Tiredness is dangerous when there are other issues in the background. We can all do 80+ hours/ week during peak times if work is enjoyable and rewarding, but in this case it seems to be slave labour.
buffalo_soldier
Member
- Location
- cumbria
Gaing a milking or 2 off a week with everything else that's going on won't sort fatigue, that takes a lot longer.
Plus while there is all the other issues, a day off will most likely be seen as a concession.
My 2p, have a discussion with brother and see if there is anyway forward for the two of you.
You could have another 30/40 or whatever years of this and believe me, it will only get worse.
Do realise though it's you and your brother that's allowing it to happen as much as dad is making you do it.
Plus while there is all the other issues, a day off will most likely be seen as a concession.
My 2p, have a discussion with brother and see if there is anyway forward for the two of you.
You could have another 30/40 or whatever years of this and believe me, it will only get worse.
Do realise though it's you and your brother that's allowing it to happen as much as dad is making you do it.
Chae1
Member
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
I'm permanently tired. Thought it was normal! Can't remember last time I wasn't.
Don't really think it's a problem. Always feel like I could sleep for a week.
Don't really think it's a problem. Always feel like I could sleep for a week.
early riser
Member
- Location
- Up North
There is a huge difference between being tired and being completely burnt out
with the latter you can’t see the wood for the trees and make poor management decisions which only serve to make the rut even deeper.
betweenthelines
Member
- Location
- southwest
Get him to read this thread
- Location
- Fife
Pack a bag and fück off. And don't look back.
betweenthelines
Member
- Location
- southwest
So why doesn't mum gift you two her share?
And if she's on the Farm Bank Account she can veto all the machinery purchases
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kiwi pom
Member
- Location
- canterbury NZ
Is the correct answer.
The old man would need to find 2 workers or do the job himself, things would change quickly.It's why I asked the question, could the OP and their brother, and sister survive off farm. If dad knows there's no way they would/could leave then he's not going to change, he might even be of the opinion he's doing his children a favour by keeping them at home.
If you wont leave you have no leverage so nothing will change.
@Rob91 what does your sister do for a living?
Not taking sides but at least the father is trying to progress, buying more land keeping kit up to date, investing in a vending machine. Lots of people out there frustrated with parents who don't want to move forwards.
And if asked maybe he'd say he's doing it all for his family?
And if asked maybe he'd say he's doing it all for his family?
- Location
- South Molton
Decisions like that really should be by agreement of all partners in a business!
Just imagine your next generation, who you have previously stated have a share in the business, cashed in sold out to a neighbour and did their own thing?
Easiest way to cause even more strife in a family.
- Location
- South Molton
Investment in a vending machine may given someone else another focus within the business, if they want to do that.
Could be another way of keeping them at home?
At the expense of his sons lives , very wrong in my view , egotism, greed and arrogance to not even consider how they feel about having no realistic pay and no quality of life, decent people want the best for their kids.
Agree, but we've only heard one side of the story. Maybe the father would say he's waiting for his sons to man up. If they haven't managed to sort it out or leave by now perhaps he's right not to risk losing everything.
No one owes you in this world, but they should have a wage and time of for a life of their own. 3 men on 300 acres with good kit shouldn't be impossible for them all to have a life
Waiting for them to man up? his type have probably bullied and manipulated them from kids , in their case it sounds like they are owed something , several years back pay or at least a quarter share of the farm each.
- Location
- South Molton
Many Parents are worried about divorce within their offspring and the potential huge financial cost that can have to a historically asset rich business.
But there are ways to get around this without putting the assets into the partnership.
But there are ways to get around this without putting the assets into the partnership.
- Status