jimmer
Member
- Location
- East Devon
No it shouldn't be common
But it is happening
What do you do when you're absolutely exhausted?
- Thread starter Rob91
- Start date
- Status
But it is happening
- Location
- Scottish Highlands
Well, as a responsible member of society you should stop it. If you know of any cases, report them to the police. If the police don't take it seriously, contact social services, or your MP. Don't normalise them as your post above is trying to do. If you don't condemn, you're condoning.
dinderleat
Member
- Location
- Wells
Its a shame that a few nobs have called you a liar there’s no need of it, there’s plenty of support out there and anyone of us would help if asked. It’s always easy for people to judge a situation when your not in it. Harder to see what’s going on when you buried under it.
Dead Rabbits
Member
- Location
- 'Merica
My dad and his brothers didn’t live much differently to yourselves for a good portion of their life. They went to church on Sunday and the occasional trip to a larger city and that was it. I asked my dad about something down the road a few miles and how it was when he was younger. He said he had no clue as when he was young they never went anywhere. They were never paid and were told from a young age they would never inherit the farm as grandpa had inherited nothing.
My dad was a bit rebellious and left the farm at 18. He worked off farm for 4 years and actually started farming on his own and buying his own equipment. The other two uncles never left and one told me that he remembers having to do a tune up on his car because he hadn’t left the farm for 9 months and it wouldn’t run.
Anyway there were two local guys who were friendly with grandpa and they told me they put a lot of pressure on him for years to sort out the future of the farm and pay the boys fairly. Towards the end it was borderline harassment. It took about 6 years but he finally did come to an agreement and sold them the farm. He was a stubborn old cuss and had vise like control over every decision. Even after he no longer owned it he still tried to make a lot of decisions and there were some tense times.
so I guess there is hope for some. Had outsiders not taken an interest it would have fallen apart. This was the late 70s and early 80s and the oldest was already in his 30s. Grandpa was in his late 60s early 70s, had kids late.
My dad was a bit rebellious and left the farm at 18. He worked off farm for 4 years and actually started farming on his own and buying his own equipment. The other two uncles never left and one told me that he remembers having to do a tune up on his car because he hadn’t left the farm for 9 months and it wouldn’t run.
Anyway there were two local guys who were friendly with grandpa and they told me they put a lot of pressure on him for years to sort out the future of the farm and pay the boys fairly. Towards the end it was borderline harassment. It took about 6 years but he finally did come to an agreement and sold them the farm. He was a stubborn old cuss and had vise like control over every decision. Even after he no longer owned it he still tried to make a lot of decisions and there were some tense times.
so I guess there is hope for some. Had outsiders not taken an interest it would have fallen apart. This was the late 70s and early 80s and the oldest was already in his 30s. Grandpa was in his late 60s early 70s, had kids late.
Dead Rabbits
Member
- Location
- 'Merica
I don’t think anyone wishes you ill it just seems an unbelievable situation to some.
Dead Rabbits
Member
- Location
- 'Merica
I know of 3 brothers who milk and raise some grain crops. They never married, live in the same house with their mom and the one sister coms over occasionally to cook and clean a bit.
Odd guys, last time I was there their mom was still milking, in a rotary they actually built themselves. Had some occasional part time help but did most everything themselves on 350 cows, 2500 acres farm ground.
- Location
- South West
Thank god for that as I was half expecting her to have been locked in the basement for the last 20years as punishment or the like!
Just maybe she is your way out? Has she a spare bedroom for a few weeks if your close and just leave the farm with her to seek a little solice? She should understand more than most people to your situation?
Scholsey
Member
- Location
- Herefordshire
Imagine having a life of being bullied, going on a open forum to ask for help and someone constantly accusing you of lying and pretty much bullying you on the forum as well...
- Location
- Limousin/Charentes toad land
- Location
- Carmarthenshire, West Wales
it's called victim shaming
What is 'Victim Shaming'?
Survivors of domestic violence afraid to step forward, fearing they'll take the blame for the abuse.
www.domesticshelters.org
I think it is common in social services too.
Think Rob91 needs to be aware that the way his father treats him and his brother there's a chance that they will get sweet fa and the sisters will get the lot
Unfair I know but doesn't sound like father plays fair
Unfair I know but doesn't sound like father plays fair
Yes, this is another thing that worries me, we get on well with our sisters but when one of them has family and one of them has lived a cushy life they won't want to do whats right for us
- Location
- Fife
Just leave
- Location
- Carmarthenshire, West Wales
Look up Cinderella Farmer in West Wales
- Location
- Fife
I've seen the case previously. Want sure left with nearly nothing after the legal blood suckers had been paid?
kiwi pom
Member
- Location
- canterbury NZ
I wonder that too. The questions been asked a few times and is the one that's avoided by the OP.
I don't know how you get help for someone that can't/won't leave the farm.
You might even have a decent argument if you suggested they might be better off at home, perhaps they are well cared for there?
One sister left home and one still at home but working off farm and neither of them seem to be helping the OP and their brother get away from the place.
I wonder why?
@Rob91 Do mum and dad regularly leave the farm?
sherg
Member
- Location
- shropshire
This is a severe case of the farm comes first at all cost, its far too common and bloody sad if I'm ever like this with my kids can someone please give me a good kicking
Do you ever speak to your brother about this @Rob91 If you've got each others back and are singing off the same hymm sheet you'll find it easier to make progress in finding a way forward
Do you ever speak to your brother about this @Rob91 If you've got each others back and are singing off the same hymm sheet you'll find it easier to make progress in finding a way forward
If you get screamed at for going to the postbox i doubt theres any point having "chats" if you get on with your sister move in with her for a few days but probably you wont be able to tell them where you are going or he will just come and get you?
If you have savings arrange some farm work with accommodation abroad for both of you and you'll have a few months to make the next plan. Even getting a new job working 5/6 days a week will be like a holiday by the sounds of it. Just thought I presume you dont have passports and cant apply for anything like that without a home address so it's hard. Working the other side of the country will be next best.
If you have savings arrange some farm work with accommodation abroad for both of you and you'll have a few months to make the next plan. Even getting a new job working 5/6 days a week will be like a holiday by the sounds of it. Just thought I presume you dont have passports and cant apply for anything like that without a home address so it's hard. Working the other side of the country will be next best.
He wants nothing more than for us to walk away, so he can sell the farm, pocket millions and waste it all on flash cars
Yes I talk to my brother all the time about it. We both know we're in a bad situation but we work well together so we just keep getting on with the job.
It's almost a certainty I'll never have kids but if I did I wouldn't treat them like we have been.
- Status