A picture says a thousand words
- Thread starter Robt
- Start date
Martyn
Member
- Location
- South west
Gosh that makes you sit still and think, very moving
- Location
- Cheltenham
Very poignantthis should be on every farm workshop. Don’t “man up” talk , cry, scream but do not “be a man and man up”.
Please, talk!
- Location
- Exeter, Devon
That’s. very sobering. Was thinking this week when mental health was being discussed that it was worth a nudge on here. None of us are immune to it, and it should never be seen as a failing for any of us to fall victim. The most important thing has to be to talk, even if it’s to a complete stranger on the end of a phone. Many of us spend too much time on our own.
Farmers on the edge
Poor mental health is emerging as one of the biggest challenges in the farming industry.
www.bbc.co.uk
CharcoalWally
Member
- Location
- West of Scotland
An awful image.
Trouble is. .......
We all say talk to someone. To us it seems totally rational, but I suspect that those with serious mental issues, often feel that their emotions are also logical. Just as logical to them as ours are. They simply don't recognise their own problems as problems. So if they don't feel that they need to talk to someone, they don't.
They also become incredibly skilful at hiding their issues from the wider world. All too often their devastated family and friends are left exclaiming that they had no idea that anything was wrong.
I do not intend to in any way belittle the work of mental health charities. Quite the reverse - mental health is one area that modern society really needs to focus on. Our own metal wellbeing is probably the number one factor governing our personal happiness.
I merely offer my personaltake on why we still have so many of these desperately sad stories.
Getting to people is key. But sometimes it takes others to step up to help rather than the sufferer.
Trouble is. .......
We all say talk to someone. To us it seems totally rational, but I suspect that those with serious mental issues, often feel that their emotions are also logical. Just as logical to them as ours are. They simply don't recognise their own problems as problems. So if they don't feel that they need to talk to someone, they don't.
They also become incredibly skilful at hiding their issues from the wider world. All too often their devastated family and friends are left exclaiming that they had no idea that anything was wrong.
I do not intend to in any way belittle the work of mental health charities. Quite the reverse - mental health is one area that modern society really needs to focus on. Our own metal wellbeing is probably the number one factor governing our personal happiness.
I merely offer my personaltake on why we still have so many of these desperately sad stories.
Getting to people is key. But sometimes it takes others to step up to help rather than the sufferer.
CharcoalWally
Member
- Location
- West of Scotland
Yes, you're absolutely correct in what you say, and one of the most heartening developments in recent times is the increased level of recognition in Society of how common mental ill health is, and of how the rest of us respond. As you say, destigmatising.
But I'm talking about those who are on a different level. Who never will talk. Not because they fear stigma, but because their illness does not allow them to recognise it as such. These are the people who need the help of the rest of us, because they simply will not seek it for themselves.
I feel this group are the one's in the dreadful empty welly image.
A farm worker local to me and who I knew pretty well took his life about a year ago. Young lad of only about 26 years old.
Very hard worker and a nice quite chap, always with a smile on his face.
No warning that anything was wrong and one day he was not at work and not answering his phone.
he was found in a shed later that day.
Turned out he had a brain tumour that no one knew about. Coroner’s report suggested the tumour May have effected his state of mi d causing him to take the path he did.
Very sad.
Very hard worker and a nice quite chap, always with a smile on his face.
No warning that anything was wrong and one day he was not at work and not answering his phone.
he was found in a shed later that day.
Turned out he had a brain tumour that no one knew about. Coroner’s report suggested the tumour May have effected his state of mi d causing him to take the path he did.
Very sad.
- Location
- NSW, Newstralya
The way I see most Mental Health Campaigns, including R U Ok Day, is that they’re managed by inspirational leaders, created with jaw-droppingly good intent but based on (unfortunately) old science!
Like most frameworks of the modern Western World - they focus on behavioural change. Specifically, reaching out and talking to someone.
What we now know is that a brain that is highly anxious, traumatised, depressed, shut down or in survival mode is a brain that will find talking exceptionally difficult!
And the more overwhelming those mental experiences, the harder any cognitive process (including talking) will be!
We are effectively asking the most vulnerable people in our society to do something they can’t possibly do!
This is devastatingly unhelpful.
If we could move all of the mental health campaigns away from the ‘talk to someone’ rhetoric and towards what recent research shows us to be true, we’d be focusing on regulating the nervous system, not talking.
On connection, before communication.
Educating the world about how to lower a highly aroused nervous system, so that our limbic system can calm down, so that our body can unclench, so that our cognitive functioning begins to return.
So that eventually we might be able to form analytical thoughts, make sense of our experiences and take steps to get better.
This is 100%, hand on heart, devastatingly critical to our future.
And it isn’t just my opinion, it’s science.
Until we shift the focus of mental health campaigns from behavioural action to regulatory action we will have a world filled with people doing the only thing they possibly can.
Staying safe.
Which involves functioning at our best, smiling, carrying on and holding it together. Because a world that asks of us that which we can’t possibly do is not a safe place.
And in THAT world talking isn’t an option, it’s an impossibility.
xxx
#connectionbeforecommunication
Like most frameworks of the modern Western World - they focus on behavioural change. Specifically, reaching out and talking to someone.
What we now know is that a brain that is highly anxious, traumatised, depressed, shut down or in survival mode is a brain that will find talking exceptionally difficult!
And the more overwhelming those mental experiences, the harder any cognitive process (including talking) will be!
We are effectively asking the most vulnerable people in our society to do something they can’t possibly do!
This is devastatingly unhelpful.
If we could move all of the mental health campaigns away from the ‘talk to someone’ rhetoric and towards what recent research shows us to be true, we’d be focusing on regulating the nervous system, not talking.
On connection, before communication.
Educating the world about how to lower a highly aroused nervous system, so that our limbic system can calm down, so that our body can unclench, so that our cognitive functioning begins to return.
So that eventually we might be able to form analytical thoughts, make sense of our experiences and take steps to get better.
This is 100%, hand on heart, devastatingly critical to our future.
And it isn’t just my opinion, it’s science.
Until we shift the focus of mental health campaigns from behavioural action to regulatory action we will have a world filled with people doing the only thing they possibly can.
Staying safe.
Which involves functioning at our best, smiling, carrying on and holding it together. Because a world that asks of us that which we can’t possibly do is not a safe place.
And in THAT world talking isn’t an option, it’s an impossibility.
xxx
#connectionbeforecommunication
How sad , poor man .
Well i guess theres an irony there as well in that cancer is way better at being talked about these days than it used to be.
There are so many different types of brain problems, some need medication some just need talking type therapy some ard best treated with both..
Illnesses like severe Bipolar is one example of one that for a lot of sufferers that could need constant meds for their whole life .
Different types of brain illnesses is what it shpuld be called i suppose rather than " mental illness" still thats just words , it means the same thing call it what you like.
lazy farmer
Member
- Location
- som/dor border
On a personal level what can we do for ourselves if we feel ourselves getting into. A difficult situation?The way I see most Mental Health Campaigns, including R U Ok Day, is that they’re managed by inspirational leaders, created with jaw-droppingly good intent but based on (unfortunately) old science!
Like most frameworks of the modern Western World - they focus on behavioural change. Specifically, reaching out and talking to someone.
What we now know is that a brain that is highly anxious, traumatised, depressed, shut down or in survival mode is a brain that will find talking exceptionally difficult!
And the more overwhelming those mental experiences, the harder any cognitive process (including talking) will be!
We are effectively asking the most vulnerable people in our society to do something they can’t possibly do!
This is devastatingly unhelpful.
If we could move all of the mental health campaigns away from the ‘talk to someone’ rhetoric and towards what recent research shows us to be true, we’d be focusing on regulating the nervous system, not talking.
On connection, before communication.
Educating the world about how to lower a highly aroused nervous system, so that our limbic system can calm down, so that our body can unclench, so that our cognitive functioning begins to return.
So that eventually we might be able to form analytical thoughts, make sense of our experiences and take steps to get better.
This is 100%, hand on heart, devastatingly critical to our future.
And it isn’t just my opinion, it’s science.
Until we shift the focus of mental health campaigns from behavioural action to regulatory action we will have a world filled with people doing the only thing they possibly can.
Staying safe.
Which involves functioning at our best, smiling, carrying on and holding it together. Because a world that asks of us that which we can’t possibly do is not a safe place.
And in THAT world talking isn’t an option, it’s an impossibility.
xxx
#connectionbeforecommunication
- Location
- Lincolnshire
You stop whatever you are doing, and ring your mother, wife, son, cousin, priest, friend, whatever. You just do that. You have to actively get your brain out of whatever loop it's in. And it can't be done on your own.
It doesn't have to be the risk of topping yourself. I've been on the local NHS mental health list for the last 25 years. I struggle with crippling depression, anxiety, and panic. They know I won't kill myself. But I've certainly put myself in positions of danger I shouldn't have been in. When you stand by the road hoping that someone runs a red light and just smashes you up a bit so you can have a few months in hospital and someone else can sort out the day to day crap for example. Mrs Static has certainly saved the day at least twice now.
It's unfixable. But like having the chiropractor explain why I keep doing the same part of my back, mental health is about recognising why we think the way we do, and learning to live and cope with it. Because talking to others isn't about touting for sympathy, but a way to help put things in a true perspective when on your own your view is both clouded and blinkered by your own way of thinking.
Tldr; ring someone up.
Bogeyman
Member
- Location
- North Antrim
Rural Support is a Northern Ireland based organisation which covers not only mental health but also financial, grief and loss ,tax concerns succession planning . Last year a young man i know did a 5 part blog for them which was on line and i think BBC radio Ulster broadcast it . It was shocking to find out the torment Adam had gone through all though he seemed to be happy and care free. Sorry can’t find the blog to give an address but maybe someone more adept on internet than me will .
Shep
Member
- Location
- The Orchard County
A neighbour killed himself a couple of years ago, lay down face first in about 6 inches of water. He had mentioned to a couple of others in the weeks before about a fear a very real terror of Muslims and black men. Now who could he have spoken to about that? Without being branded racist? He was convinced they were coming to kill us all, enough so that he killed himself.
The point I'm making is that maybe these people who commit suicide might have issues that no one can admit to, therefore making the problem even worse, what if the problem is so bad that they think society is better off with them dead, like a paedophile for example. There may be some very dark secrets tormenting some people.
The point I'm making is that maybe these people who commit suicide might have issues that no one can admit to, therefore making the problem even worse, what if the problem is so bad that they think society is better off with them dead, like a paedophile for example. There may be some very dark secrets tormenting some people.
- Location
- Suffolk, UK
I have no words ?
- Location
- Owaka, New Zealand
This ^^^^ and, if you haven't heard from old mate in a while - call in, unannounced... if you can.
It's surprising how many are playing with the black dog, all the while "fixing" everyone else.
Self-reliant is all some of us know how to be
Steevo
Member
- Location
- Gloucestershire
This is what counselling etc is for. A safe safe space to speak without fear of judgement from “society”.
- Location
- NSW, Newstralya
From FB. Tenterfield is on the New England Tablelands, about 3 hours north east of here
I live in a small country town.
Tenterfield.
Its a town experiencing the disaster of the drought and with a town water supply dwindling and expected to be gone by Christmas.
We can no longer drink from it without thoroughly boiling.
We can't clean our teeth or give our animals a drink from it.
The shelf water in the supermarket is scant and limited to how much can be bought in a single visit.
I'm standing, as many are, in a container that catches the shower water. Its a very brief shower and the water is reused in the washing machine and then piped out into the garden.
If I leave it for the day, when I come back there is a sediment settlement in the bottom.
Showers of random rain are a huge celebration, not just for the human population but what remains of the natural world is yelling with joy as well, the like of which I have never seen before.
In February this year we experienced the worst of fires that took out huge areas of bush land including our National Park areas that bring many tourists to the area.
Six months later and amazing Bald Rock remains closed to the public with infrastructure still needing to be replaced and staff too busy recovering other areas damaged. Now they are back working on fires and there is no time to repair Bald Rock.
On 6/9/19 a fire tore through the southern side of town causing damage to homes and property.
What remained of drying grass land gone.
Standing helpless watching was distressing.
The shock is still raw.
The grieving very real.
That event has been followed by more devastating fire that has taken cattle, wild life and more property.
The fires are burning furiously with a determination like we have not experienced before.
Our beautiful clear renowned fresh clean air is now almost permanently filled with smoke and choppers.
Our streets and roads constantly filled with the coming and going of fire trucks from various parts of Australis along with water carriers and livestock fodder.
Yesterday, while a brutal wind blew and a hot day was in progress, another fire to the west started and headed east in a straight line to our little township.
Not only did locals fear for survival but the fire fighters have reported they also thought the town would cop the brunt of it.
Only with the dedication of more firefighters and choppers risking everything, did we survive.
It continues to burn as I write this.
Yesterday as I pulled over to answer a call, I saw a man opposite sobbing in his ute.
I've seen two men hugging in the Coles care park crying.
I've watched farmers becoming more and more exhausted from hauling water to small mobs of remaining live stock and they travel long distances to get feed for them.
I've been to the city a few days ago and seen that they have no idea of what is truly occurring in areas like ours.
Understandably, they are isolated from the grief of what we are experiencing.
The grief is so real.
Generally, they don't really want to hear about it.
Their shelves are so full of fresh fruit and veg … and they are not limited to showering, washing, and buying water.
Yet.
But here we are.
A tight knit community helping each other to stand together and face what we are facing.
We complain that we don't have the services of the city or larger areas but wow, we have something that is gold.
We have each other and the way we hold each other is so beautiful.
Lets not drop that.
In fact, lets strengthen it as much as possible.
If the tears are there, let them flow.
Its ok.
Don't let someone tell you not to be upset.
Living this every day is very different to watching it on a screen where we can walk away.
We are fragile and that too, is ok.
Appreciation for the help that has arrived is overwhelming.
Hold each other steady to be the best we can be.
Don't blame this one or that for how a fire may or may not have started.
It helps no one.
This is a huge clearing for this town and as distressing as what it is, it is happening.
When I stand in an area that a fire has gone through, the clearing can be felt.
The imprints from the past are erased.
Its new beginnings.
Its an offer to do things differently.
Around the sun we go again, a fresh platform on offer.
Go gently dear friends and love each other from the heart.
Added foot note: An unexpected and extraordinary amount of people have been reached via this post (to date 2.9K with 4.3Kshares). I thank all of you for reading and sharing and for commenting. Each one of you is important but unfortunately I just cant thank each individually.
I have had numerous conversations with people who have stopped me to chat and perhaps most importantly, it has opened people up to talk about how they are feeling and to express what has been held in the body and not expressed prior to the post.
Keep the conversations happening.
Express in truth and in a way that may bring a fuller way of being.
With love,
Julie
I live in a small country town.
Tenterfield.
Its a town experiencing the disaster of the drought and with a town water supply dwindling and expected to be gone by Christmas.
We can no longer drink from it without thoroughly boiling.
We can't clean our teeth or give our animals a drink from it.
The shelf water in the supermarket is scant and limited to how much can be bought in a single visit.
I'm standing, as many are, in a container that catches the shower water. Its a very brief shower and the water is reused in the washing machine and then piped out into the garden.
If I leave it for the day, when I come back there is a sediment settlement in the bottom.
Showers of random rain are a huge celebration, not just for the human population but what remains of the natural world is yelling with joy as well, the like of which I have never seen before.
In February this year we experienced the worst of fires that took out huge areas of bush land including our National Park areas that bring many tourists to the area.
Six months later and amazing Bald Rock remains closed to the public with infrastructure still needing to be replaced and staff too busy recovering other areas damaged. Now they are back working on fires and there is no time to repair Bald Rock.
On 6/9/19 a fire tore through the southern side of town causing damage to homes and property.
What remained of drying grass land gone.
Standing helpless watching was distressing.
The shock is still raw.
The grieving very real.
That event has been followed by more devastating fire that has taken cattle, wild life and more property.
The fires are burning furiously with a determination like we have not experienced before.
Our beautiful clear renowned fresh clean air is now almost permanently filled with smoke and choppers.
Our streets and roads constantly filled with the coming and going of fire trucks from various parts of Australis along with water carriers and livestock fodder.
Yesterday, while a brutal wind blew and a hot day was in progress, another fire to the west started and headed east in a straight line to our little township.
Not only did locals fear for survival but the fire fighters have reported they also thought the town would cop the brunt of it.
Only with the dedication of more firefighters and choppers risking everything, did we survive.
It continues to burn as I write this.
Yesterday as I pulled over to answer a call, I saw a man opposite sobbing in his ute.
I've seen two men hugging in the Coles care park crying.
I've watched farmers becoming more and more exhausted from hauling water to small mobs of remaining live stock and they travel long distances to get feed for them.
I've been to the city a few days ago and seen that they have no idea of what is truly occurring in areas like ours.
Understandably, they are isolated from the grief of what we are experiencing.
The grief is so real.
Generally, they don't really want to hear about it.
Their shelves are so full of fresh fruit and veg … and they are not limited to showering, washing, and buying water.
Yet.
But here we are.
A tight knit community helping each other to stand together and face what we are facing.
We complain that we don't have the services of the city or larger areas but wow, we have something that is gold.
We have each other and the way we hold each other is so beautiful.
Lets not drop that.
In fact, lets strengthen it as much as possible.
If the tears are there, let them flow.
Its ok.
Don't let someone tell you not to be upset.
Living this every day is very different to watching it on a screen where we can walk away.
We are fragile and that too, is ok.
Appreciation for the help that has arrived is overwhelming.
Hold each other steady to be the best we can be.
Don't blame this one or that for how a fire may or may not have started.
It helps no one.
This is a huge clearing for this town and as distressing as what it is, it is happening.
When I stand in an area that a fire has gone through, the clearing can be felt.
The imprints from the past are erased.
Its new beginnings.
Its an offer to do things differently.
Around the sun we go again, a fresh platform on offer.
Go gently dear friends and love each other from the heart.
Added foot note: An unexpected and extraordinary amount of people have been reached via this post (to date 2.9K with 4.3Kshares). I thank all of you for reading and sharing and for commenting. Each one of you is important but unfortunately I just cant thank each individually.
I have had numerous conversations with people who have stopped me to chat and perhaps most importantly, it has opened people up to talk about how they are feeling and to express what has been held in the body and not expressed prior to the post.
Keep the conversations happening.
Express in truth and in a way that may bring a fuller way of being.
With love,
Julie
deleted user 837354
Member
@deleted user 837354 sorry but I don’t agree with you about the BBC. This little film is excellent and very informative.Farmers on the edge
Poor mental health is emerging as one of the biggest challenges in the farming industry.www.bbc.co.uk
Only what, 30 years overdue? You don't see the irony that it is the BBC that is bashing the industry nearly daily and now does a single piece on the mental health of rural people?
I'll permit a very slow single hand-clap for the BBC before my hand returns to the normal salutation for anything BBC.
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BPR is not just a farming issue, it affects ALL business, it removes incentive to invest for growth
Join us @LondonPalladium on the 16th for beginning of UK business fight back
BPR Summit | LW Theatres
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