Any farmers out there whose children have pursued a different career?

[benjsmith09]

I recently spoken with a farmer in the South East about how his child had chosen to sell their dairy cows after being given a choice about whether to keep the dairy farming going or not. They used to have a contract selling milk to one of the big supermarkets, but the son just wasn't interested. Now, they have just have some arable land and sell a bit of beef locally, and the son isn't involved. (I believe he lives in London.)

I wondered if anyone else had experienced this and whether there are concerns about how this will affect the future of British farming?

 

[Hampton]

I am not going to put any pressure on my children to farm. In fact I actively tell them that they must gain a full education and career until they are 30.
obviously if either “rebel” and desperately want to farm then I will relent and allow w them to farm, but I won’t martyr them to it like many farmers children

 

[Yokel]

Yes i'm sure it will affect the future of British farming. We gave up dairy farming a few years ago and have now given up farming altogether. Neither our son or daughter showed much interest in farming as teenagers and now both have successful careers in other sectors . No way was i going to force or try to persuade them to do what had no heart for. I know so many farmers my age (57) who tell me the never really wanted to do it,but we're made to feel obliged too. It may sound harsh but " Shame on their parents" . We will continue to see a decline especially in small family farms. Some will carry on with the next generation keen to farm ,and i wish them every success ,and i hope they get support from government and the public as they see the importance of British produce. But please don't force your kids to do something they don't want to,as heartbreaking it may feel at the time. I think family is more important than the farm. I'm afraid some think the other way round

 

[capfits]

@benjsmith09 this is hardly news is it?
their lives their choices.
All farm kids will see the offer and take their own direction.
Mine plan to be Doctor and teacher.

 

[neilo]

I have certainly not encouraged my son into farming, having seen so many that have been pressured into following on as their duty. I always feel sorry for the kids put in that situation, even though many of them won’t even realise it for decades yet.

That said, I never wanted to do anything else and, if family politics had been different, would have happily chained myself to a cow’s tail to keep my father’s legacy going, and to hopefully build on it.

IF children wish to farm, then do everything you can to support them, but it cannot be right to attempt to mould them in your own image, as we all see so often. Encourage them to think for themselves, provide them with the tools/education to make sensible business decisions, instil ethical values in them, and hope they find a path for themselves that doesn’t upset you too much?

On the OP, there are lots of aging farmers in the UK who have no children coming on behind wiling to take the business on. That will certainly filter through to a radical change in the make up of the industry over the next decade or two.
That will push the industry, and the countryside, in a worse direction imho, but who would wish it on their child, if they are being honest?

 

[JimAndy]

i have a nephew who wanted to farm, but had to chase him, as there just isn't the profit to pay him a fair wage, and ill not do to him how i was treated were you worked all week, and if i was lucky i got a few pounds to go out at the weekend, unless things change we we start getting paid better, more and more people will leave

 

[Danllan]

One of mine likes the idea, most of the time, but still wants to train as an engineer (civil) first; the others are thinking of medicine, are too young to give it any serious thought, or just don't think it's an option. Which is fair enough.

I have an older cousin with three children, none of them liked the idea of farming at all, but the middle girl married a farmer's son who was keen and things seem to be working out well... they are both partners in the farm now, but she's a GP in town.

I ran away from the thought of farming, joined the Army, then went to law and then came back to... farming. No regrets though, I would have been very unhappy if my family had tried to tie me down, I'd never do that to my own children.

However, as noted by others, I know of a fair few who have been pressured into farming, just to carry on the family-line. I think, in fairness, that was understandable for past generations, but it's barking nowadays.

@neilo bloody hell that's bleak... but I don't think you are wrong. I think if land prices reflected production realities we'd see more expansion of 'family farms', those farms and families benefiting from it and the countryside seeing no harm done. If...

 

[mixedfmr]

Son likes the diversification we have on the farm, he did his disitation on the subject, and we enacted it. But (big but )not intrested in the farm for its self,
Thought i would have been upset about that, But as times gone on, i realise there was more in it when I was young, far more than if I was the same age now just starting
So whatever will be, will be, If their not intrested, its no good even trying to push/bribe them
Just found out only a few days ago, that the eldest daughter would have liked to come home, she married, teaching with kidds, but said she would have been happier at home than how here successfull career has panned
Two neighbours, similar age from a past life, with single sons are left on their own as each has chosen diffrent careers, one in the city, and the other music production, And i know the history of how those farms were progressed, family bought out to create a future for those that followed, And they ll be sold not far off now
More money, more time off, and no weekend work, But as is said above , some off us bred to it, but loved it, work all hours and it didnt feel like work
although when you look at the price of our produce today, nearly 40 years behind on crops , who can argue with the young of today if they turn their backs on it

 

[neilo]

One of mine likes the idea, most of the time, but still wants to train as an engineer (civil) first; the others are thinking of medicine, are too young to give it any serious thought, or just don't think it's an option. Which is fair enough.

I have an older cousin with three children, none of them liked the idea of farming at all, but the middle girl married a farmer's son who was keen and things seem to be working out well... they are both partners in the farm now, but she's a GP in town.

I ran away from the thought of farming, joined the Army, then went to law and then came back to... farming. No regrets though, I would have been very unhappy if my family had tried to tie me down, I'd never do that to my own children.

However, as noted by others, I know of a fair few who have been pressured into farming, just to carry on the family-line. I think, in fairness, that was understandable for past generations, but it's barking nowadays.

@neilo bloody hell that's bleak... but I don't think you are wrong. I think if land prices reflected production realities we'd see more expansion of 'family farms', those farms and families benefiting from it and the countryside seeing no harm done. If...

None of my business of course, but presumably you came back to farming with the benefit of some capital from previous careers?
I would suggest, from knowing folk that have done similar, that this puts you in a healthier position than a lot that have never left the farm, both in terms of financial security and mental attitude.

 

[Danllan]

None of my business of course, but presumably you came back to farming with the benefit of some capital from previous careers?
I would suggest, from knowing folk that have done similar, that this puts you in a healthier position than a lot that have never left the farm, both in terms of financial security and mental attitude.

Well, at first...

 

[Hfd Cattle]

All 7 kids pursuing jobs that pay handsomely outside of farming ,bar one who is an Auctioneer so still farming related . Youngest daughter was a tractor driver on a mixed farm but she has calved down now and has moved down to Cornwall ( hubby runs a pub)

 

[JP1]

I’ve said before , many moons ago when I was at college , I found the most unhappy folks attending weren’t those like me desperate to get a foot on the farming ladder and not from a farming background , it was those who were there because Dad wanted them there and in all reality they’d have chosen an alternative career path

SM and overall internet awareness means many more now make up their own minds and follow their own career choices - and the career advisors are possibly as dire as they were in my day ; hopeless

 

[Wood field]

Not from a farming family myself, we built our farm up and my son was always keen to follow on , however both he and my daughter have their own careers and lives .
His visits have got less ( he’s engaged and working hard at his own job)
Last time he was here we talked about the farm , I said if anything should happen to me and my wife it’s all yours .
He said I’ll keep the 20 acres around the house and sell the rest !
So if they don’t want to farm , and it’s their choice, we will keep going for a while then sell up when ready
The Kids will get what’s left when we pass away

 

[ford 7810]

Absolutely bloody ridiculous. I left school in 1976 hated school desperate to be on the farm, but after three years of milking cows I knew dairy farming wasn’t for me at which point brother left school and was an excellent Cowman Stockman ,I’ve always been very mechanically minded and tractor daft. father made it quite plain You can’t farm around here without dairy cows.which at the time was basically true so I wanted to start contracting father and my relationship never recovered after that I was useless and in his words “not worth effing bothering with ”I have contracted for 33 years now 25 as my own business,father and I didn’t speak for the last 5years of his life.never never had one ounce of encouragement just not worth effing bothering with.

 

[DrWazzock]

Absolutely bloody ridiculous. I left school in 1976 hated school desperate to be on the farm, but after three years of milking cows I knew dairy farming wasn’t for me at which point brother left school and was an excellent Cowman Stockman ,I’ve always been very mechanically minded and tractor daft. father made it quite plain You can’t farm around here without dairy cows.which at the time was basically true so I wanted to start contracting father and my relationship never recovered after that I was useless and in his words “not worth effing bothering with ”I have contracted for 33 years now 25 as my own business,father and I didn’t speak for the last 5years of his life.never never had one ounce of encouragement just not worth effing bothering with.

At least you were true to yourself and stuck with it. Well done. That’s most important. Kids should feel free to do what best suits them not become a vehicle for parents often unfulfilled aspirations.
I went away and worked as an engineer as I’d no choice. I wasn’t needed here. Returned at 35 after the uncles retired. I am fairly useless with stock but like machinery and the arable side. I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed livestock work though I can see they are a very good thing as part of a balanced system.

 

[puppet]

Sad to hear that but you must have made a success of it to still be in business.
I had another career but helped my father lots of weekends - for no pay though he helped us with a house deposit - then bought a farm at 40 and our son has helped expand it since. If he had done contracting then wouldn't have expanded as much and he would have done the work others now do, hopefully at Dad's rates.

 

[mixedfmr]

Yes i'm sure it will affect the future of British farming. We gave up dairy farming a few years ago and have now given up farming altogether. Neither our son or daughter showed much interest in farming as teenagers and now both have successful careers in other sectors . No way was i going to force or try to persuade them to do what had no heart for. I know so many farmers my age (57) who tell me the never really wanted to do it,but we're made to feel obliged too. It may sound harsh but " Shame on their parents" . We will continue to see a decline especially in small family farms. Some will carry on with the next generation keen to farm ,and i wish them every success ,and i hope they get support from government and the public as they see the importance of British produce. But please don't force your kids to do something they don't want to,as heartbreaking it may feel at the time. I think family is more important than the farm. I'm afraid some think the other way round

I was in your "afraid " group as i farmed on the potty you would say. From generations back, so it just was, and i could nt see a future that didnt revolve around the farm for generations to come
Then as they say, every things alright untill sons get married, and as i have said shxt hit the fan, and you move on to still farm, but its diffrent
And when sons not intrested somehow its not the same as you thought it would be when you look back on your thoughts years ago
It is their life, and nobody can get past the grave, I dont think he ll take any notice of the list of instructions i will leave , Probably sell upand retire when we ve both gone
I m in your convert group, with no pain whatsoever. With one big BUT, I ll farm to MY grave (added latter) with the contractor arm in arm, or his son if he goes first,

 

[Derrick Hughes]

Will it effect British farming if my kids don't farm ,I'm sure if they had chosen farming they would have made their mark but no effect in the greater picture
The greatest reward in life is making a success of your own achievements and not hanging on to your parents apron strings
My daughter started a pottery business not so long ago , she is sending stuff all over the world including shops on Paris, proud or what !!

 

[Gedd]

My son was never interested in the farm would help if asked but very rarely asked if anything wanted doing now coaching soccer in the usa married with family daughter married with family and a social worker for local council she loves the sheep side and takes holidays at lambing ,clipping etc but the wage she is on cant see her coming back to farm in her own right

 

[Yale]

Staying home to farm my generation, 60’s/70’s/80’s born there was a better future, food was wanted, farmers were wanted. Flip to today and the future seems to be pushing water up hill. Net zero, planting trees, biodiversity net gain, carbon credits, AI, methane, people with camera phones willing to dob you in if you sneeze!

Our kids are being helped to follow their aptitude, eldest has just completed and passed her first year at Lancaster University studying Ecology and conservation minoring in biological science. Second girl studying A levels with a real drive for sales and business hopefully to go on and do a business degree. Third, son who is intelligent science wise but a tractor will pass and he would not look up from his phone! He doesn’t seem to have any real interest in farming, more of a science nerd so he presents the biggest challenge. Really don’t know which path he will take but will need guidance wise or he will just bum out!

These days bombing out and coming back to the farm without an alternative career is just not an option so he will maybe pursue a non specialist science or technology path for now.

We live in a beautiful place and I can see the middle child returning to the farm but it would have to be after she has settled down with a family and importantly a partner who has an interest.

As parents we have made many sacrifices for our children’s future and hopefully after all this one will keep hold of the land we have expanded the farm to and enjoy the lifestyle a farm gives you.