Best advice you never paid for...

[Netherfield]

If you can't afford to pay for it now wait until you can.

Dont let the bank earn more than you.

Don't employ a man who can eat two more spuds than a pig.

 

[onthehoof]

One from my Grandad ‘only invest in something you can throw a brick at’

 

[br jones]

Run ,my husband is back .....

 

[Top Tip.]

Heard another one today that I'd never heard before. You cant buy experience but its costly to get.

In the same vein ,you have to pay to go to college.

 

[Thick Farmer]

A sheep has three aims in life, to die, in public view, after the vet has been paid a small fortune to keep her alive.

I thought that their aims were to escape and then die in an awkward place and at an awkward time.

 

[Av Gorritt]

Nobody ever went bust taking a profit .
A loss is only a loss if you take it . (talking about financial services .
Best advice I ever got re money was "Get Some ! It gives you power over people and events "

 

[Agriimark]

If it has wheels or a skirt its going to cost you money

 

[JD-Kid]

2nd hole from the back of the neck
always date a girl with small hands it will make yer co/k look bigger or guess handy to retrieve lost tools when yer. drop them

 

[Aspiring Peasants]

You'll never starve a profit out of them

 

[CollCrofter]

See everything, know everything, say nothing.

 

[Red Fred]

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you're upside down.
You've never had it so what...

 

[Red Fred]

from hgtg by douglas adams

I was going to comment on THHGTG on the religion thread but thought the better of it, so we can have a quote here instead,

 

[Treecreeper]

You will get nothing doing nothing, don't work hard for it.

 

[br jones]

Pull out! I am not on the pill

 

[mayos]

Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

[Willie adie]

If there's grass on the pitch,
Play on.

If the roofs rusty,
The basements damp

 

[jon9000]

Dont saw sawdust.

Never aim for perfection as you'll always be disappointed

 

[David.]

When you can afford two, buy one.

 

[Hesstondriver]

 

[kingfisher]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!