Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[waterbuffalofarmer]

I feel really bad for complaining about such simple things, knowing what you and everyone else had to deal with.

It's perfectly fine to complain, rather not that word.... Let's call it let of steam, yes that's better remember sometimes things get a bit much for us all and we do have to let it out, it hurts more if it's let to bottle up inside... Yes there are others with other issues here, but each one of us who has posted has different issues effecting them. Sometimes it can help to see clarity if everyone shares their problems/angers/frustrations. It's a good thing! Sometimes in life we make bad decisions which can effect how our businesses perform in the future, he may have just been doing what he thought right at the time. But issues can be solved if you try to work together to solve the problem, remember great minds think alike I'm sure everything will be ok soon, just gotta hang in there... And hey we are all here for you anytime.
TC now

 

[Kiwi Pete]

I feel really bad for complaining about such simple things, knowing what you and everyone else had to deal with.

Don't, ever.
Compared to some of the threads on here this one is actually quite 'not daft'

We all have different things that help us, or try to break us I've found its the discussion of those that helps the most.

Oh, and thanks @Juggler, I really liked that one

 

[spin cycle]

Brill!
I've left instructions to be played out to JS Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze" writted on a piece of paper.

i'm going out to the 'father ted' theme

 

[Gerbert]

I think its more frustration than anger towards dad. He made some less than desirable decisions in the past and the business is suffering a little because of that. Luckily me and mother get along well so I don't have that problem as well.

Actually I have nothing to be contempt about. Really nothing. Maybe I have an anger management problem.
I read things about people hating it that their father won't let them do anything, my father is the other way around. No criticism is also no good, I just wish he would give me a good whack on the head when I am being a dick.

Hope you get along though. Family feuds are the worst feuds.

 

[lazy farmer]

been nearly 3 yrs since my mum died. Dad has had it hard since. we have propped him up and forgiven the unintentionally hurtful comments that he made in the early days. What it has meant is that i haven't yet allowed myself a tear for mum and when i think of her is mainly in the negative. Can't be normal/right can it?

 

[Christoph1945]

It's funny, but sometimes it's only when we can look back with freshly gained knowledge that things start to make sence and we can find forgiveness for others in our hearts. My mother, who was supposedly beyond child bearing age, gave birth to my younger brother when I was five years old. At five and knowing nothing of post natal depression, or the menopause, how was I to understand her heavy hand and explosive discipline.

Even her threats to stick our heads in the gas hoven may have had it's roots in the old Victorian belief that carbon monoxide could be use to quell the boistrouse behavior of over active, naughty, children.

 

[BobGreen]

It's funny, but sometimes it's only when we can look back with freshly gained knowledge that things start to make sence and we can find forgiveness for others in our hearts. My mother, who was supposedly beyond child bearing age, gave birth to my younger brother when I was five years old. At five and knowing nothing of post natal depression, or the menopause, how was I to understand her heavy hand and explosive discipline.

Even her threats to stick our heads in the gas hoven may have had it's roots in the old Victorian belief that carbon monoxide could be use to quell the boistrouse behavior of over active, naughty, children.

Were you young when you lost your parents then Chris ?
My dad was 54 and mother 45 when I was born. They had both died before I was 16

 

[primmiemoo]

been nearly 3 yrs since my mum died. Dad has had it hard since. we have propped him up and forgiven the unintentionally hurtful comments that he made in the early days. What it has meant is that i haven't yet allowed myself a tear for mum and when i think of her is mainly in the negative. Can't be normal/right can it?

Sorry to read this, lazy. Sympathies for you and your family.

Hmmm ... normal/right ... well ...

If it's of any help,
I remember the turmoil inside when my Dad died, and throwing myself into school work and then college, and muddling through with the few livestock we still had left, and worrying that I might be going "mazed" with it all, because Mum wasn't coping, and I didn't want to upset her further. I suspect I was carrying her grief along with mine in an odd sort of way... It must be a natural instinct to do that. I have to admit, I would wish Dad hadn't "caused" it all, even though rationally that couldn't be true.

And I remember all of that worked-upness freeing itself one day and simply leaning against a gate and sobbing it all out. Felt b— awful, it really did. I hadn't asked for something to happen, but it started a process of readjustment. Leaky eyes were definitely involved at regular intervals for a time afterwards. The memory of Dad sort of moved to a more proper place, somehow. It didn't help Mum cope better, but it helped me to cope with how she was.

Far from a sentimental thing, though. Far from a girly thing, tbh [wry grin].
That was about 10 years after Dad died.

So I've no idea what's normal in the great scheme of things surrounding grief. Maybe it was a case of better late than never, and the right time will come along to express grief in terms of tears?

 

[marshfarmer]

Does anybody find st John's wort helps

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Does anybody find st John's wort helps

I have heard that, but not tried it myself.
Worth a try, as with anything I think it pays not to "sit around waiting" to see if it works - a watched pot never boils......

But, you don't know without giving these things a try, I often take kelp tablets and they seem to make my life easier, have always thought maybe my overactive thyroid thing enjoys the extra iodine or maybe something else...

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Does anybody find st John's wort helps

Yeah, I took it for about a year, but I found I was more prone to sunburn... Hence why I looked southern Italian all the time... But it got addicting in the end, like placebo effect so I had to come off it I would say... For it to really start working it needs about a week in your system. It's slow acting, but it certainly makes a big difference, just be careful in summer as it makes the skin highly sensitive

 

[marshfarmer]

Yeah we have it growing on the marshes here and it makes the cows poorly odd times, burnt udders etc
With my beard and long hair it won't burn too much of me ha ha.
I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Yeah we have it growing on the marshes here and it makes the cows poorly odd times, burnt udders etc
With my beard and long hair it won't burn too much of me ha ha.
I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options

Well worth a try!
Ditto, I really dislike normal medicines, whatever they give me usually makes me feel pretty cruddy, sometimes the more natural things are pretty good

 

[marshfarmer]

Well worth a try!
Ditto, I really dislike normal medicines, whatever they give me usually makes me feel pretty cruddy, sometimes the more natural things are pretty good

The best things in life are almost free at Holland and Barrett

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Yeah we have it growing on the marshes here and it makes the cows poorly odd times, burnt udders etc
With my beard and long hair it won't burn too much of me ha ha.
I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options

Have you a medical herbalist near you? It's like going to see a doctor, they're qualified similar to that, they inspect your health records, go deep into conversation, find out stuff about allergies and such. Then they prescribe accordingly. Mum and I go to one, she's great Also they say probiotics are good for mental health too... Because they get rid of the bad bacteria in the gut which in turn helps the mind to function better. By decreasing the toxins in the body overall improves your mental health. Plenty of water also. I drink warm water with lemon juice and ginger in every morning, helps the digestion, as well as balancing the PH in your body. For probiotics you can either get tablets of probiotics, healthfood shops usually stock em... Or you could just buy live yoghurt. I use woodlands dairy sheep's milk, but you can buy cows or even goats. Mum also makes buffalo yoghurt which is great. The yoghurt has to be live tho... For the benefits

 

[spin cycle]

been nearly 3 yrs since my mum died. Dad has had it hard since. we have propped him up and forgiven the unintentionally hurtful comments that he made in the early days. What it has meant is that i haven't yet allowed myself a tear for mum and when i think of her is mainly in the negative. Can't be normal/right can it?

my take is that you have to do whats necessary to survive and look after those that depend on you....so give yourself a break.....i think your late mum will forgive you

i lost my dad 3 years ago...i can't say he was the best dad but he did his best given the rotten childhood he had....things have been/are tough ...so emotionally i cut myself some slack ....if that makes sense

 

[spin cycle]

Does anybody find st John's wort helps

Yeah we have it growing on the marshes here and it makes the cows poorly odd times, burnt udders etc
With my beard and long hair it won't burn too much of me ha ha.
I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options

so you were feeling better apart from a bit of wt and fatigue ...lets be honest this weather is the 'nuts' for fatigue.....then you've kicked the meds

JMO...but stick to the meds

 

[Lazy Eric]

If your bad, fatigue and a little wt gain are a small price to pay. Stay on your meds. I’ve been taking meds on and off since the mid 90s and what I do know is i wouldn’t be here today without them.

 

[Lili]

I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options[/QUOTE]
You can always ask your GP to try you on a lower dose tablet rather than stop altogether.

 

[CharcoalWally]

Yeah we have it growing on the marshes here and it makes the cows poorly odd times, burnt udders etc
With my beard and long hair it won't burn too much of me ha ha.
I kicked my proper meds cold turkey due to fatigue and weight gain. Struggling a bit again so looking for other options

Given the damage St John's Wort does to livestock, I'd be careful to research it or take medical advice.

Best of all, stay on the meds as others have said.