May be worth asking to see a different GP if there is more than one in the practice. Also I do hope you call one of the helplines, just talking to someone who is there to listen can take a huge weight of your shoulders. The main thing though is to look after yourself, it’s so hard on a farm especially when you are the one that is in charge. The mental pressure of day to day decision making and trying to balance the books is overwhelming especially when you are down and the weather is against you. The sheer amount of paperwork and red tape is enough to make you weep.
Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)
- Thread starter Andyrob
- Start date
- Location
- Limousin/Charentes toad land
Couldn't you just get away from the farm/family for a few days then?
Back in my leek growing days I used to be in a very poor state after 30 weeks leek harvest (and a failing marriage) and would sometimes just go off by myself.
Could do with a break now tbh but not really possible with livestock
Christoph1945
Member
- Location
- Widnes West Cheshire
Roy Baty,
everybody hurts sometime, hold on; you are not alone. Our deepest hurts, pains, and sufferings are not always fully appreciated by our families and loved ones. Sharing those deep seated emotions with an other empathetic soul can rob them of much of their power over us. If you can just find the time to phone one of the support agencies and talk things through with someone, I am sure that you will find help and support to be able to progress beyond your present situation.
Depression/anxiety distorts our mental vision and magnifies problems beyond their true magnitude. As a farmer, you have been coping with many problems that a great many people would wilt under and you have been doing so successfully.
Stay safe, stay well, and know that you are stronger that you perhaps yet realise.
Chris
everybody hurts sometime, hold on; you are not alone. Our deepest hurts, pains, and sufferings are not always fully appreciated by our families and loved ones. Sharing those deep seated emotions with an other empathetic soul can rob them of much of their power over us. If you can just find the time to phone one of the support agencies and talk things through with someone, I am sure that you will find help and support to be able to progress beyond your present situation.
Depression/anxiety distorts our mental vision and magnifies problems beyond their true magnitude. As a farmer, you have been coping with many problems that a great many people would wilt under and you have been doing so successfully.
Stay safe, stay well, and know that you are stronger that you perhaps yet realise.
Chris
TheScottishDairyman
Member
Roy. I wish you all the best. There are always people that will give you a ear for you to unload on. All I can say is if you want to unload on someone send me a private message any time. All the best and stay strong.
Perhaps a farm sitting thread could be started. Many feel they can't leave for a break because of livestock (even the pet dog can cause hassle) who better to come look after your animals/stop travelers from setting up camp in your crops than another farmer!
I'm fortunate that I can order dad to feed cows and pigs if I want away.
In fact I reckon I'd be happy to go help someone out for a week, just for the change of scenery!
I'm fortunate that I can order dad to feed cows and pigs if I want away.
In fact I reckon I'd be happy to go help someone out for a week, just for the change of scenery!
I had thought of that as well, if your ill and need rest or a break it’s so difficult to get anyone to watch over the place. There must be a lot of us willing to swap places for a week or so, or a retired farmer that wants to keep there hand in and do a spot of traveling
Christoph1945
Member
- Location
- Widnes West Cheshire
Perhaps a farm flying squad supported and funded by the supermarkets, nfu, and other organisations could help take the strain when things get really difficult? A bit like the lifeboats, or mountain rescue!
Having said that, who could you trust with your farm? Who could farm it like you do?
Having said that, who could you trust with your farm? Who could farm it like you do?
- Location
- Penzance
That's easy... You interview possible candidates and take them round on farming duties for one day. Whoever stays longest, talk to them, then let them stay with you, if possible, a week or so prior to you going away to get em into the natural rhythm of things, get livestock used to em. That way you know they'll be in safe hands
Think that’s a brilliant idea. I wonder how many farmers and families have never been away on holiday
There was a thread a while ago about holidays... There's a few who don't go far from home
Had a sh!t day, first off one of the pet lambs looks like it’s dying. Then went to load some fat hoggs and somebody had left a gate open and mixed them with a group of ewes and lambs. While sorting them out noticed a ewe hasn’t been sucked out and found a headless lamb but not hers. Came back from dropping the hoggs off and found her lamb stuck in a hedge bottom unable to walk. Got to them in and then someone rang to say some Ewes and lambs were out. Went and got them back and fixed the fence, next door farmer said he had one of my Sheep and was going to shoot it if I didn’t get it. So ran round a field of bog, gorse and hillocks till between me and the dog we caught the Effie thing. Got home and it poured down, so in having a brew before I go out to find the next disaster. Wish I had a simpler life, hopefully things will improve, but at the moment I feel like I’m ready to retire. With the leg injury, toothache, flu, chest infection and losing 11kg I feel like half the man I was this time last year.
Apologies for the long moan but just wanted to have a good whinge
Apologies for the long moan but just wanted to have a good whinge
Lili
Member
- Location
- Aberystwyth hinterland
Dont apologise sounds like a rubbish day particularly the unhelpful neighbour . I've lost weight over lambing but 11kg sounds a bit too much. Have you got time for a GP check or is that out of the question? Hoping the whinge has helped
- Location
- Penzance
No you moan away we'll listen. I'm so sorry to hear about your day tbh, dunno what to say. Everything may seem rather bleak currently, but hopefully things will get better soon. The flu is a big thing and it isnt easy carrying on farming in recovery mode tbh. Sometimes life just throws things in our paths and we have to deal with them best we can and you are doing a truly amazing job! Keep up the good work
and hey you can message me anytime if you need to talk to someone about stuff, I cant pretend I offer the best advice but I'm a good listener xHave regular visits to the doctor, they’ve changed some of my medication but they arnt sure what’s going on either. Think my immune system is shot after the leg injury and all the medsI took for that. Looking on the bright side I’m still here and still have two legs and I’m the same weight I was when I was eighteen
Your neighbour sounds like a real twit
Twit is too polite
Think it’s been edited !! I spelt it correctly!
- Location
- Penzance
dt995
Member
- Location
- Carmarthenshire
Brief introduction: I'm not a proper farmer. We moved to a smallholding, I'm still doing my regular job. We have some sheep and a few cows. Been here a few years now.
I don't know how to cope with the rain anymore. I'm sick of grey overcast skies from horizon to horizon for days on end. I don't want to see the rain blowing horizontally. I don't want to hear it thundering on the roofs and windows.
When it's sunny, I'm a different person. I love it, I'm happy, problems seem solvable, the future's bright. I'll spend happy time watching the sheep (turned out at last this weekend) or the cows (still in because we don't have enough grass for them yet).
But being in Wales, that doesn't last, so it rains again, and I grit my teeth and wait, but it doesn't seem to stop, and I want to scream for every minute that it's _still bloody raining_ and will probably go on forever. I've started doing the bare minimum in my outside jobs when it's raining because I can't stand it anymore.
It seems entirely possible, given last year's "Summer" that this weather needn't let up, and it'll just be unremittingly grey and sodden all through the year. I don't know how anyone manages to farm around here and I'm at my wits' end.
I don't know how to cope with the rain anymore. I'm sick of grey overcast skies from horizon to horizon for days on end. I don't want to see the rain blowing horizontally. I don't want to hear it thundering on the roofs and windows.
When it's sunny, I'm a different person. I love it, I'm happy, problems seem solvable, the future's bright. I'll spend happy time watching the sheep (turned out at last this weekend) or the cows (still in because we don't have enough grass for them yet).
But being in Wales, that doesn't last, so it rains again, and I grit my teeth and wait, but it doesn't seem to stop, and I want to scream for every minute that it's _still bloody raining_ and will probably go on forever. I've started doing the bare minimum in my outside jobs when it's raining because I can't stand it anymore.
It seems entirely possible, given last year's "Summer" that this weather needn't let up, and it'll just be unremittingly grey and sodden all through the year. I don't know how anyone manages to farm around here and I'm at my wits' end.