Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[CornishRanger]

Funeral was today. The lad had a good send off. There would be no farming getting done in the local area today. So proud to be a farmer today, they always turn out for their own. Held it together all day but just got home and broke down in tears. Us tough farmers aren't supposed to cry. Please if you are struggling with life tell someone.

The "like" is for the sentiment not the situation

 

[Christoph1945]

The "like" is for the sentiment on the situation

Ditto!

 

[Alicecow]

Just had too do the hardest thing I've done in a long while. Been too visit my best friend who's son committed suicide last week. 21 years old from a good farming family. Can't believe how it has affected me. I hadn't realised until tonight how ill he had been.
Always seemed to be the life of the party. Anyway we had a good chat and saw off the best part of a bottle of whiskey. Funeral is going to be a hard day.

You have shown him incredible support just by going to see him/them, and again by listening. You'd be surprised and horrified by the number of people who will cross the road to avoid speaking to someone after a 'normal' death just because they don't know what to say, how much more so after a suicide.
The funeral will indeed be a very hard day, but the days after will be just as difficult for them as they try to adjust to life without him. If you can call in a few times afterwards I'm sure that will help them to remember that the world hasn't stopped turning, even though it feels like it has for them.
There is no formula or script to follow, just be yourself and be there for them. It's not easy, but they will get through it (not over it, but through it) and the friendship of friends will help them.

 

[Alicecow]

Funeral was today. The lad had a good send off. There would be no farming getting done in the local area today. So proud to be a farmer today, they always turn out for their own. Held it together all day but just got home and broke down in tears. Us tough farmers aren't supposed to cry. Please if you are struggling with life tell someone.

Just seen your update. Glad funeral went well. Well done you for holding it together, and for letting it out after. As above, if you can still be around for them it will help them through the months ahead.

 

[Farmer Roy]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=2022718747818239

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

I was talking to my dad the other day and his sister works in child protection and such, she deals with suicide and stuff. She said that if someone is feeling suicidal you have to first find out if they have a plan, for example how much a piece of rope weighs, how far they will have to fall, stuff like that. Very often the person the previous day, people describe them as being really happy... This is because they have resolved to do it and have found an inner peace. The problem with human beings is that they are difficult to figure out/ work out, at times. If someones set on something like that they will do it.

 

[glasshouse]

A nearby farmer sadly did it last week.

 

[DrWazzock]

Best revelation I have found is to reject the tyranny of the farm/weather (and many other things).

So what if the wheat is nearly ready and the combine isn’t. It can wait. So many times I have put off having a break because I have thought it better to do stuff at home only for it to go wrong anyway. Stuff it and leave it and have a break. Do the work when you decide, don’t let it push you around. There is plenty of time and if there isn’t well it’s just too bad. Let it fall over if it can’t stand up for itself. Let it go. Sick and tired of having to help and force the job every step of the way, and the more you help it the more help it seems to need till it drains you dry.

I’ll do it when I’m ready. I work hard enough as it is.

 

[Christoph1945]

Ah Ha; progress??????

 

[PuG]

Never posted on this thread but occasionally read - been heck of a year so far with our luck turning south on the farm, unexpected bills and allot of stress piling on and I suppose the fear of letting my parents down who've invested allot into me which nearly resulted in a total break down few weeks ago and still fragile. I think the best thing was meeting someone three months ago who's become very special and so far has seen me torrid. Booked in on Tuesday for a consultation session, I think its getting over the embarrassment of admitting it might be for the best and that your not wasting someone's time.

http://www.counsellinginfrance.com/

 

[Lili]

Never posted on this thread but occasionally read - been heck of a year so far with our luck turning south on the farm, unexpected bills and allot of stress piling on and I suppose the fear of letting my parents down who've invested allot into me which nearly resulted in a total break down few weeks ago and still fragile. I think the best thing was meeting someone three months ago who's become very special and so far has seen me torrid. Booked in on Tuesday for a consultation session, I think its getting over the embarrassment of admitting it might be for the best and that your not wasting someone's time.

http://www.counsellinginfrance.com/

You're never wasting someone's time if you need help. All the best.

 

[Dangerous Dan]

You're never wasting someone's time if you need help. All the best.

Couldn't agree more. We all need help now and again. Some need more, some need different. Doesn't make anyone any worse or better than then next person!!!

 

[Christoph1945]

Two of the biggest steps that we can take are first recognising that we have a 'problem' and secondly, seeking help and support; whether it be informal, or professional.

The first step is the greatest in a journey of self discovery and freedom from anger/fear/anxiety/depression.

Chris

 

[12 bore]

I have watched this thread, for a while now I have been suffering with aniexty for a while now which all started when i turned 30 last year. I had managed to control it but I just feel now it's starting to get on top of me. I did go see gp about it as I was worried to start with it was cardiac issues as I would get chest pains etc but after having full health check ECG etc they were likely to be panic attacks. I just wondered if anyone else on here had any similar issues with this and any tips on dealing with them.
I have a good job, great family and a great life but I'm just starting to feel bogged down by this and want to get it under control. I realise it will always be there and my mum is very similar and my grandad apparently had a similar thing. Anything can set it off for instance a mistake at work and then I'll just dwell on it and worry and before I know it I have turned it in to this massive thing I almost try and second guess myself all the time for fear of messing up and letting people down.
As I said any tips on controlling it would be greatly received I just want to get it under control.

 

[Big_D]

I have watched this thread, for a while now I have been suffering with aniexty for a while now which all started when i turned 30 last year. I had managed to control it but I just feel now it's starting to get on top of me. I did go see gp about it as I was worried to start with it was cardiac issues as I would get chest pains etc but after having full health check ECG etc they were likely to be panic attacks. I just wondered if anyone else on here had any similar issues with this and any tips on dealing with them.
I have a good job, great family and a great life but I'm just starting to feel bogged down by this and want to get it under control. I realise it will always be there and my mum is very similar and my grandad apparently had a similar thing. Anything can set it off for instance a mistake at work and then I'll just dwell on it and worry and before I know it I have turned it in to this massive thing I almost try and second guess myself all the time for fear of messing up and letting people down.
As I said any tips on controlling it would be greatly received I just want to get it under control.

Try downloading app called headspace, has simple exercises you can follow to calm down

 

[12 bore]

Try downloading app called headspace, has simple exercises you can follow to calm down

I'll have a look for that and see how I get on, cheers

 

[Lili]

I'll have a look for that and see how I get on, cheers

Anxiety and depression can cause all sorts of physical symptoms as well as mental ones. Good your GP checked everything. Best wishes.

 

[Dangerous Dan]

I have watched this thread, for a while now I have been suffering with aniexty for a while now which all started when i turned 30 last year. I had managed to control it but I just feel now it's starting to get on top of me. I did go see gp about it as I was worried to start with it was cardiac issues as I would get chest pains etc but after having full health check ECG etc they were likely to be panic attacks. I just wondered if anyone else on here had any similar issues with this and any tips on dealing with them.
I have a good job, great family and a great life but I'm just starting to feel bogged down by this and want to get it under control. I realise it will always be there and my mum is very similar and my grandad apparently had a similar thing. Anything can set it off for instance a mistake at work and then I'll just dwell on it and worry and before I know it I have turned it in to this massive thing I almost try and second guess myself all the time for fear of messing up and letting people down.
As I said any tips on controlling it would be greatly received I just want to get it under control.

I know how you feel with all you have said. I'm 31 with two children, stable jobs that I enjoy but anxiety and depression are always within spitting distance. Like you, anything can trigger it. Do you talk with anyone about it? I'm currently on waiting list to see a physciatrist(sp?). Can't offer any words or ways to get rid of the inner bugger as I'm still trying to figure it out. You're definitely not alone though.

 

[12 bore]

I know how you feel with all you have said. I'm 31 with two children, stable jobs that I enjoy but anxiety and depression are always within spitting distance. Like you, anything can trigger it. Do you talk with anyone about it? I'm currently on waiting list to see a physciatrist(sp?). Can't offer any words or ways to get rid of the inner bugger as I'm still trying to figure it out. You're definitely not alone though.

I don't really talk to anyone about it, I don't know if it's just a bloke thing almost feel a bit of a failure in feeling like it especially when I'm lucky enough not to have problems that others have. Gp was really good and listened and I did feel better after was offered information on various support groups which was helpful but not sure if they were for me at the time of seeing him I don't think I was ready to admit I had a problem. I do talk to my wife but probably not as much as I should she has a busy household to deal with and I don't want to burden her.
I'm going to take steps to address work/life balance and mabee try make some more free time to do more of what I enjoy with family and a bit for myself. Good luck with it all and I hope you find a way to tame it, to be fair it has helped writing on here because your somewhat anonymous there is no fear of being judged

 

[12 bore]

Anxiety and depression can cause all sorts of physical symptoms as well as mental ones. Good your GP checked everything. Best wishes.

Thanks, it has helped just writing it down, Gp was good and I was glad he did the tests as it was just good to know it wasn't anything else physically wrong