Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[jade35]

Iirc it has been mentioned before but the thyroid, if not working correctly, can also cause symptoms of extreme tiredness and depression so if there is a history of thyroid problems in the family it may be worth mentioning it to the doctor. It would also seem that there is a link between low vit/min levels, digestive problems and thyroid disease and some websites recommend trying to follow a gluten free and not too low calorie/high good fat diet to try to help improve physical and mental health


Best wishes to you all and I hope that 'things' start to get easier again over the next few weeks.








This is the NHS choices info on underactive thyroid https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/underactive-thyroid-hypothyroidism/

There are other websites that give a longer list of symptoms ie Thyroid UK if you want to look into the subject further.

 

[Christoph1945]

Very strong emotions, anger/fear/frustration, can throw our vitamin and essential minerals into low levels as the emotions consume them and we then become less resistant to infection etc.

Many people come down with infections when caught out in bad weather but then again they are generally very angry at the person or incident that caused them to be stuck out in a downpour.

The Christian teachings say turn the other cheek, the Cabalists teach don't react; all much easier said than done! I think that it was the Beetles who sang 'Let it be' and the Buddhists tell us that holding on to hatred and resentment is like drinking poison to hurt your enemies; or holding on to red hot coals to throw at our opponents.

For the Jew his/her day starts at sundown and I think it was Paul that wrote 'do not let the sun go down on your anger'.

As one who lived in bitterness, anger, and resentment, I learned the foolishness of those ways and the bitter cost that they levy upon us.

Stay safe, stay well, and know that you are progressing beyond what you once believed was possible.

Chris

 

[Greenbeast]

One definitely needs to work on not reacting as hastily. Catch the angry reaction, take a breath. It will fade. I have been laughing more than despairing when i do silly things recently.
Due to neuro-plasticity it should become easier over time to minimise the reactions, maybe even prevent them.
Also IQ takes a hit during a strong emotional reaction causing us to do things we usually wouldn't dream of if we were thinking rationally and at full strength.

 

[Christoph1945]

I have often likened those uncontrolled reactions as being rather like a twelve bore shotgun with a hair trigger and no safety catch.

 

[Greenbeast]

I have often likened those uncontrolled reactions as being rather like a twelve bore shotgun with a hair trigger and no safety catch.

Yes they are hard to control, i gather it takes time, i'm early on my journey. I think i'm making progress

 

[Greenbeast]

Also if you can lower your base level of frustration/anger then you will be harder to tip over the edge in the first place, i think that is what is helping me now

 

[Christoph1945]

The fact that you have started the journey puts you ahead and you can't help but make progress. Unfortunately, our wounds and scars can make us very sensitive to some situations and perhaps more likely to react quickly.

As I grew to see more clearly, I slowly learned to let go and forgive some of those who so deeply hurt me. I wish I had done so much earlier!

Chris

 

[milkloss]

To those guys that have young children; there is no doubt that post natal depression is a very serious and hugely unsupported issue for women of today. More so with the lack of community and family perhaps not being as tight knit as it once was. But I also think men do have some sort of added pressure and responsibility upon the birth of a child, especially the first one. I know I did, the feeling you need to pull your socks up for your families future, the feeling your partner needs more of your time at home yet you need to do that extra work. Etc etc

Just to say I think it affects the psyche for men more than is currently recognised.

 

[jade35]

To those guys that have young children; there is no doubt that post natal depression is a very serious and hugely unsupported issue for women of today. More so with the lack of community and family perhaps not being as tight knit as it once was. But I also think men do have some sort of added pressure and responsibility upon the birth of a child, especially the first one. I know I did, the feeling you need to pull your socks up for your families future, the feeling your partner needs more of your time at home yet you need to do that extra work. Etc etc

Just to say I think it affects the psyche for men more than is currently recognised.

You reminded me of a recent article I read in the DT. There is help out there for men who suffer from feeling low/depressed after the birth of a child/children but you need to ask (and sooner rather than later)

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/mind/male-postnatal-depression-enough-help-dads/

It was when Mark Williams saw the surgical instruments on the operating table, and the look of panic on his wife's face, that the terror took hold. "When I heard the word 'emergency', I feared the worst. The doctors sounded anxious, which made me feel anxious. I thought Michelle and my unborn child were both going to die."

The operation was an emergency caesarean section, a procedure performed in hospitals up and down the country every week, but the couple, from the valleys of Bridgend, who had been happily married for a year and a half and were looking forward to becoming parents, were totally unprepared for the knock-on effect it would have on them.

Thankfully, Mark's fears were not realised, and the couple were handed their beautiful baby boy. But, almost immediately, Michelle found depression clawing away at any feelings of happiness. The malaise was unrelenting. At her lowest point, she considered taking her own life and had to be taken to a crisis centre. It was to be 18 months before she felt "normal" again. "Michelle was offered counselling," says Mark, "but no one ever asked me how I felt."

Continue reading https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/mind/male-postnatal-depression-enough-help-dads/

 

[Greenbeast]

I know the feeling when they say they're going to c-section, i was extremely worried but had to keep up appearances of calm for my OH. She was actually less worried as she performs them all the time on animals.

 

[Cow Whisperer]

Been dipping into this thread for a few week now trying to get the courage to post
Never thought I'd be suffering with depression
Having problems sleeping weight is just falling off me
It all started about a month ago when my best friend who is female told me she was seeing someone it really hit me hard as we have been friends for more than 16 years
We where inseparable everyone thought we where a couple .
She was in a bad relationship when we first met
But was 2 years before she left him
I was there at 3am picking her up from out side the house
Spent the next 6 months helping her get her life back together
Ever since then we wood see each other 3 or 4 times a week go on holiday together
Any time she need help I was there the same if I needed help she wood be there to .
We never talked about being more than friends as I new how scarred she was from her past relationship .
It just hit me that I didn't realize how much I loved her on till she told me about her new boyfriend .
She still wants nothing to change between us
She said boyfriends come and go but best friends are there for life
I can't tell her how I feel as I've never seen her so happy she deserves it
But it's tearing me apart

I am walking in your shoes Dave but am 6+ months down the line, and sad to say am still hurting, though it is less raw than the early days.

The main advice I would give is to go zero contact with her. I told my exbf I was pleased for him etc but that I was hurt and needed space to grieve and heal. Said that I could only be friends again when I felt indifferent as to whether he was with someone or not. Delete / block if friends on fb, hard as it is. Avoid favourite haunts for a while so you don't bump into them.

Focus completely on yourself, try to change your routines if possible, get a new hobby, exercise. I'm dating as well as a distraction but finding it a chore. Still ... being open to the possibility of moving on and the right person coming along is important. Rekindle old friendships which may have fallen by the wayside a bit what with spending so much time with her. Open up to folks (I found this hard as it all felt so daft and teenagerish!) but it did / does help. Try to think positive thoughts - 'tiny budda', 'power of positivity' and 'intelligence is sexy' are good pages to follow on fb for wise and inspirational words. Hope things improve soon.

 

[multi power]

I know the feeling when they say they're going to c-section, i was extremely worried but had to keep up appearances of calm for my OH. She was actually less worried as she performs them all the time on animals.

I just happened to notice a cupboard in the delivery room marked "emergency c section kit" to send me into intense panic

 

[dave6470]

I am walking in your shoes Dave but am 6+ months down the line, and sad to say am still hurting, though it is less raw than the early days.

The main advice I would give is to go zero contact with her. I told my exbf I was pleased for him etc but that I was hurt and needed space to grieve and heal. Said that I could only be friends again when I felt indifferent as to whether he was with someone or not. Delete / block if friends on fb, hard as it is. Avoid favourite haunts for a while so you don't bump into them.

Focus completely on yourself, try to change your routines if possible, get a new hobby, exercise. I'm dating as well as a distraction but finding it a chore. Still ... being open to the possibility of moving on and the right person coming along is important. Rekindle old friendships which may have fallen by the wayside a bit what with spending so much time with her. Open up to folks (I found this hard as it all felt so daft and teenagerish!) but it did / does help. Try to think positive thoughts - 'tiny budda', 'power of positivity' and 'intelligence is sexy' are good pages to follow on fb for wise and inspirational words. Hope things improve soon.

Thanks Cow whisperer
I know that's what I should be doing just not easy
She's living in a house 50 feet from my yard [emoji20]
Her mum asked me to call for a chat as she said she could see there was something wrong
She said it had be ovous to her for years how I felt about her daughter
She can't understand why she couldn't see it to
She said to hold on as she can't see it lasting
They've been having big blowups the last few days
She confided with her mum that she wished mark was more like me and could see that it had cause problems with me
Least I'll get a break as she's taking her parents on holiday for a month next week
Things have been improving as I'm sleeping better
So we'll see how thing go

 

[BobGreen]

Thanks Cow whisperer
I know that's what I should be doing just not easy
She's living in a house 50 feet from my yard [emoji20]
Her mum asked me to call for a chat as she said she could see there was something wrong
She said it had be ovous to her for years how I felt about her daughter
She can't understand why she couldn't see it to
She said to hold on as she can't see it lasting
They've been having big blowups the last few days
She confided with her mum that she wished mark was more like me and could see that it had cause problems with me
Least I'll get a break as she's taking her parents on holiday for a month next week
Things have been improving as I'm sleeping better
So we'll see how thing go

As the song goes
“Tell her about it. Tell her how much you care “
What have you got to lose ? If she doesn’t think of you in that way at least you tried
If you don’t try she may think you’re not all that bothered and you will regret not letting her know the rest of your life
Just pick your time well

 

[Bury the Trash]

Tough times for farming again.

don't bottle it up, dont let it 'snowball'

don't put on a brave smile.

tell your nearest and dearest.. all of them,.... you are down , and tell them again as / when necessary/

dont bottle it up.,

 

[Christoph1945]

What's in a word?

I was recently pondering something that someone had informed me about, concerning a traumatic experience they had during their youth and the associated anxiety that has dogged them for years. As I considered the word 'anxiety' and how we all so readily use it to describe how we are feeling these days, I wondered if one can make better progress if we use the word 'fear' instead.

Ask not; 'Why am (was) I anxious?' but 'What am (was) I afraid of'?'. Putting it like that started to make me feel rather uneasy and unsure as to if it was such a good idea after-all.

What do you think?

Chris

 

[Derrick Hughes]

Cup of tea and a chat im sure goes a long way with someone who feels they have nowhere to turn . We all have busy lives but giving someone a bit of your time can mean such a lot
Sorry if that belittles things , just My thoughts

 

[Bear101]

Cup of tea and a chat im sure goes a long way with someone who feels they have nowhere to turn . We all have busy lives but giving someone a bit of your time can mean such a lot
Sorry if that belittles things , just My thoughts

Loneliness causes more health issues than smoking and drinking apparently. I feel lonely all the time, there are plenty of opportunities to socialize but I can't stand the pressure of being in a situation where I have to keep a conversation going. Depression drives me away from people, and then makes me lonely. It's a viscous circle. But being in the company of these unique people who will happily talk to a gate post is magic. It eases the pressure significantly. Cup of tea makes it even better.[emoji4]

 

[Derrick Hughes]

Finacial problems are pushing some to the edge like we have never seen, well I certainly have not

 

[Dangerous Dan]

Loneliness causes more health issues than smoking and drinking apparently. I feel lonely all the time, there are plenty of opportunities to socialize but I can't stand the pressure of being in a situation where I have to keep a conversation going. Depression drives me away from people, and then makes me lonely. It's a viscous circle. But being in the company of these unique people who will happily talk to a gate post is magic. It eases the pressure significantly. Cup of tea makes it even better.[emoji4]

I'll +1 to this Bear. Gate Post and cup of tea sounds about perfect. [emoji16][emoji106]