Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Lili]

Really struggling with life at the minute. Get really wound up quick as a flash(as in, I want to repeatedly hit things that aren't working my way...) , feeling useless every day. Feel bad at telling children off more than not. Fed up at being fed up. Is that part of the depression or am I just over worked and underslept??? Anyone else feel the same way?

It's a circle that just goes round and round and won't seem to stop. Overwork/overtired/depression all symptoms/results of each other. Lots of people feel the same. Please find time to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Best wishes.

 

[Dangerous Dan]

It's a circle that just goes round and round and won't seem to stop. Overwork/overtired/depression all symptoms/results of each other. Lots of people feel the same. Please find time to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Best wishes.

I'm seeing a counselor and my wife is a bloody good ear, but, it doesn't make any difference. Not sure what to do. I'm self employed milker on two farms, one starts at 4am(about 8 hours milking/washing out a day) , other is much smaller and easier but doesn't offer same hours to pay. Wife and I have 150 ish sheep and we have recently started calf rearing on small scale. Children are 3 and 1. Life isn't hard, just never ending. We need the money to make our own things work and hopefully start to pay for themselves but I really can't be arsed with any of it at the minute.

 

[primmiemoo]

I'm seeing a counselor and my wife is a bloody good ear, but, it doesn't make any difference. Not sure what to do. I'm self employed milker on two farms, one starts at 4am(about 8 hours milking/washing out a day) , other is much smaller and easier but doesn't offer same hours to pay. Wife and I have 150 ish sheep and we have recently started calf rearing on small scale. Children are 3 and 1. Life isn't hard, just never ending. We need the money to make our own things work and hopefully start to pay for themselves but I really can't be arsed with any of it at the minute.

That sounds rough, Dan. I can identify with the endless slog - and the tiredness. It's a daft impulse, I know, but sending you a thoroughly Platonic sympathetic cyber-ruffle of your hair and a cyperpat on the shoulder, nevertheless.

Do your customers/clients not have relief milkers they can turn to so you can have a break, I wonder?
Just a couple of days?

 

[Dangerous Dan]

That sounds rough, Dan. I can identify with the endless slog - and the tiredness. It's a daft impulse, I know, but sending you a thoroughly Platonic sympathetic cyber-ruffle of your hair and a cyperpat on the shoulder, nevertheless.

Do your customers/clients not have relief milkers they can turn to so you can have a break, I wonder?
Just a couple of days?

The small farm would let me have whatever time I wanted, the bigger farm is a bit tougher but I've a crap mindset to that place so just tell them it's happening and let them deal with it. It's more about money and doing something with the time when off work. I'm a bear with a bad head when not working, have no inspiration when I have to fill hours....

 

[Christoph1945]

Sorry to hear that you are presently having something of a struggle but from what I read, you are certainly doing a lot of thing right and that will be actually assisting you; although you may not yet feel the benefit psychologically.

You write that you don't know what else to do, but I would suggest double checking your diet and perhaps try dropping one or two things from your regular intake but take the greatest of care; the sudden dropping of tobacco, alcohol, or caffeine (coffee, tea, and coke etc) can lead to withdrawal symptoms and even make things worse.

I would suggest removing gluten from your diet (though it can be difficult) may be of assistance in alleviating the severity of what you are presently describing. Also avoid aspartame in soft drinks.

What can I say that may be of assistance to you? I often suffered from anger/anxiety/depression accompanied by irritability and troubling thought patterns. They would arrive out of the blue and later be gone but to eventually return. I often described it to be like a chicken laying an egg. In those days I knew nothing about the gut/brain/mind links and it would be many years later when I was to accidentally discover how my diet was affecting my mind. Do you remember the Hovis nothing added adds that they used to run on itv?

Don't just take my word for it, chat it through with your wife, because you will certainly require her assistance in avoiding gluten in your diet; they put the darned stuff in loads of things.

Quality sleep, relaxation, and rest 'will' eventually come and you 'will' be revitalised by all the support that is readily available for you.

Chris offering you a supportive handshake across time and space

 

[primmiemoo]

The small farm would let me have whatever time I wanted, the bigger farm is a bit tougher but I've a crap mindset to that place so just tell them it's happening and let them deal with it. It's more about money and doing something with the time when off work. I'm a bear with a bad head when not working, have no inspiration when I have to fill hours....

It's good that one of the farms will give you some time. A couple of days' fee feels hard to say no to, I know, but if, say, you had flu, you'd be off for longer.

How about treating your family to a special day or two at home? Call the little ones "work", break out the playdoh or potato printing kit and be teacher for your 3yo? I've fond memories still of my Dad teaching me to fold paper hats, and I must have been 3.
Hope I'm not sounding too simplistic.

 

[Weasel]

I'm seeing a counselor and my wife is a bloody good ear, but, it doesn't make any difference. Not sure what to do. I'm self employed milker on two farms, one starts at 4am(about 8 hours milking/washing out a day) , other is much smaller and easier but doesn't offer same hours to pay. Wife and I have 150 ish sheep and we have recently started calf rearing on small scale. Children are 3 and 1. Life isn't hard, just never ending. We need the money to make our own things work and hopefully start to pay for themselves but I really can't be arsed with any of it at the minute.

If your wife's a bloody good ear then that's half the battle. Too many wife's don't care

 

[Dangerous Dan]

If your wife's a bloody good ear then that's half the battle. Too many wife's don't care

I agree. Though sometimes it's just as hard as A) sometimes it's hard to explain feelings B) she self admits to not understanding depression.....

 

[spin cycle]

I agree. Though sometimes it's just as hard as A) sometimes it's hard to explain feelings B) she self admits to not understanding depression.....

have you been to your gp dan?

it could be a simple seratonin issue...thats being exacerbated by your long hours /young family and trying to get started

 

[Dangerous Dan]

have you been to your gp dan?

it could be a simple seratonin issue...thats being exacerbated by your long hours /young family and trying to get started

I've been a couple of times, just get fobbed off with "you have two young children, it's expected" but let's do a blood test and never tell you the results just to keep you happy.

 

[Lili]

Can you see another GP in the practice?

 

[spin cycle]

I've been a couple of times, just get fobbed off with "you have two young children, it's expected" but let's do a blood test and never tell you the results just to keep you happy.

thats very naughty....a blood test is no good for detecting depression

i went to the doc when my youngest was 2 and asked for something to help me sleep.....he made me list my symptoms then told me i was depressed....i laughed at him....he said 'ok i'll give you something to help you sleep but you'll be back'......he was right i've been on seratonin uptake inhibitors ever since

would you describe your symptoms something like.....constantly tired...not much is going right...everything is an effort....worlds out to get you?

 

[glasshouse]

If your wife's a bloody good ear then that's half the battle. Too many wife's don't care

Everyone needs a break, a week away would make a world of difference.

 

[Christoph1945]

The Black Dog slipped past us, un noticed, this week and having barred his teeth stole one from our midst. Not sure of all the facts just yet but will post later this week.

Stay safe , stay well, and keep yer chin up.

Chris

 

[Dangerous Dan]

The Black Dog slipped past us, un noticed, this week and having barred his teeth stole one from our midst. Not sure of all the facts just yet but will post later this week.

Stay safe , stay well, and keep yer chin up.

Chris

Um..... What? Who?

 

[spin cycle]

The Black Dog slipped past us, un noticed, this week and having barred his teeth stole one from our midst. Not sure of all the facts just yet but will post later this week.

Stay safe , stay well, and keep yer chin up.

Chris

oh sh!t

 

[Christoph1945]

Still reeling from the news today and was totally shocked to be informed that one of my sons earlier partners, who bore him a son (who is now 14), has comitted suicide leaving behind four children, a divorced husband, and a present partner.

Don't. as yet, know the when, how, where, and for why. Being seperated by hundreds of miles we were not that close but did keep in contact but probably not often enough. Don't yet even know if the funeral has been and gone, or if it is still to be arranged.

Although not my favourite person, I do feel deeply, deeply, saddened by her passing and the effect that it will have on the children.

Not a lot I can say just now; other than ..... 'if only'!

Chris

 

[Jameshenry]

Very sad to hear, very tough for the family to come to terms with suicide, my thoughts go out to you and your family Chris

 

[Bear101]

Still reeling from the news today and was totally shocked to be informed that one of my sons earlier partners, who bore him a son (who is now 14), has comitted suicide leaving behind four children, a divorced husband, and a present partner.

Don't. as yet, know the when, how, where, and for why. Being seperated by hundreds of miles we were not that close but did keep in contact but probably not often enough. Don't yet even know if the funeral has been and gone, or if it is still to be arranged.

Although not my favourite person, I do feel deeply, deeply, saddened by her passing and the effect that it will have on the children.

Not a lot I can say just now; other than ..... 'if only'!

Chris

So sorry to hear that. It can be such a cruel world.

 

[Laminated]

That’s really sad to read Chris. I have suffered myself over the last few years, but I have been to see my doctor this year. We have worked out and action plan and it’s been 9 happy months for me and I hope for it to continue.

This thread helped me no end last winter when I had suicidal thought just reading through the posts although I couldn’t bring my self to comment.

I am so glad this thread is here, it has bought a tear to me eye many times and farming can be a lonely place running an stable farm single handed.