Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Greenbeast]

Families eh?! Who'd have em!

Most people certainly wouldn't pick their own!

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Most people certainly wouldn't pick their own!

Very true

 

[Greenbeast]

Approaching the end of a truly eye opening book:
'Why we sleep: the new science of sleep and dreams'
Absolutely fantastic, I did not realise adequate sleep was quite as critical as it is and that sleep deprivation has causal links with so many health issues. I think this should be required reading, so that, if it's within your power, you can strive for proper sleep or at least if you're going short, you do it with open eyes (pun semi-intended)

Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams

 

[Christoph1945]

GB has a point and quality sleep is a great asset to managing the coming day but alas when our minds are troubled sleep often evades us. Our what-if thoughts run round and round inside our heads and keep us from slipping into the arms of Morpheus and that may be why so many folk turn to alcohol and drugs.

Your need to talk things through is a very valid need that we all have but often don't have anyone to turn to that will listen without judgement or condemnation. Have you tried talking to the Samaritans, FCN, or your local clergy?

We are all here to support you the best we can but of course there are matters that you will be reluctant share on an open forum and we, more than most, will fully understand that.

Stay safe, stay well, and please remember that you are not alone.

Chris

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

GB has a point and quality sleep is a great asset to managing the coming day but alas when our minds are troubled sleep often evades us. Our what-if thoughts run round and round inside our heads and keep us from slipping into the arms of Morpheus and that may be why so many folk turn to alcohol and drugs.

Your need to talk things through is a very valid need that we all have but often don't have anyone to turn to that will listen without judgement or condemnation. Have you tried talking to the Samaritans, FCN, or your local clergy?

We are all here to support you the best we can but of course there are matters that you will be reluctant share on an open forum and we, more than most, will fully understand that.

Stay safe, stay well, and please remember that you are not alone.

Chris

Cheers Chris.
I understand what you're saying, but I think it'll sort itself out in the long run. I'm not in a bad place or seriously depressed, in fact I feel a huge amount better than I have been. More the uncertainty of everything, on edge and stuff. I just want things to be normal TBH. I can't say it on here as my brother is on here and may read it, but I don't know. Stay safe people and will give a read of that book if I can

 

[Greenbeast]

Cheers Chris.
I understand what you're saying, but I think it'll sort itself out in the long run. I'm not in a bad place or seriously depressed, in fact I feel a huge amount better than I have been. More the uncertainty of everything, on edge and stuff. I just want things to be normal TBH. I can't say it on here as my brother is on here and may read it, but I don't know. Stay safe people and will give a read of that book if I can

Having an uncertain environment certainly makes peace hard to obtain but how others feel and interact with each other is completely out of ones control. Reflecting on how you can refrain from letting other's toxicity from infecting you is worthwhile.

The book reference was not a strict reply to your issue, as is the nature of threads like this, i felt like the denizens of this area could do with reading this regardless of what current conversation was ongoing. That being said, i really do recommend it regardless of one's health, mental or otherwise.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Having an uncertain environment certainly makes peace hard to obtain but how others feel and interact with each other is completely out of ones control. Reflecting on how you can refrain from letting other's toxicity from infecting you is worthwhile.

The book reference was not a strict reply to your issue, as is the nature of threads like this, i felt like the denizens of this area could do with reading this regardless of what current conversation was ongoing. That being said, i really do recommend it regardless of one's health, mental or otherwise.

Ah no ik but it's a good thing you did post it as some of my friends are having sleeping problems as well as some of my family, so it will be good to have a look at that

 

[Christoph1945]

Hi,

I am very pleased to hear that you are not presently in a bad place and that you are coping quite well at the moment. You don't have to be suicidal to chat with any of the agencies that have been set up to assist us during our troubling times.

For problems directly associated with farming I suppose that FCN would be a good place to start but for deeply personal hurts and pains, the Samaritans are a first class agency to assist us in troubling times. Whilst talking with a Samaritan on the phone we can remain totally anonymous and be assured that anything we say will never get back to those who know us.

Being an open forum and having 'perhaps' many silent readers there may be others who will benefit from our communications in here and see that they are not alone and we can progress through some of the most immense of problems.

Chris

 

[Old Tip]

I would somewhat disagree with the gender issue. I think a serious problem for men in modern society is that we have been blamed for all of the wrongs in life and that we are currently in the midst of a feminist march for power and control. Men are feeling less and less relevant in life as our traditional roles are being usurped in the name of diversity.

If things go on as they are men will feel less and less worthwhile leading to more depression and a questioning of who we are and where do we fit in..

This was really hi lighted in my recent trip to Poland which I would suggest is about forty years behind us in most things in the upland farming world. We were only there a week and every farm we visited was run by a matriarchal women and her husband was either dead or had an acahol problem. The men still seemed to do all or most of the farm work but the women were definitely the boss and brains of the outfit.

 

[Old Tip]

Apologies but I’ve not been on this thread for a while as things have been pretty good. I tended in the past to lean towards folk with problems and try and help them only to make mine much worse. So since being really bad I’ve done my best to help where I can but try not to get too involved and bring back the depression.
I dip in and out of this thread as it helped a lot in my lowest ebb as did the forum in general. It’s easier discussing stuff with like minded folk you have never met and cant see.
Anyway, enough of the waffle. As many of you will have spotted I have recently been away and unfortunately managed to miss lay the bag with my medication in. It was the day before we were heading back so didn’t panic, but we were late back so missed ordering the replacements till yesterday and will pick them up in the morning. Now I only take Sertalin and Thyroxine and was thinking I didn’t really need to take them anymore as I’ve felt so good. But as you can tell after five days with no medication I can’t sleep and am very restless. Hopefully once I’ve been back on them a few days things will get back to normal. But it’s a good lesson to me and anyone else out there that we take these things for a reason and they do in the main help.

OT

 

[Christoph1945]

Tip,

How was it that you got to go to Poland in the first place and how did you travel? The country has a long history of being occupied and controlled by others.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Hi guys.
Just came to say thank you for all the support you have given me over the past year or so. There have been moments which have been very dark for me and you have all really helped me through them. For this I cannot thank you all enough xx the bad situation last week has been resolved, which I am very thankful for, as my depression started creeping back and I was in an emotional mess for 2 days, not wanting to even work or go off the farm (even on to the lane). There will always be ups and downs for all of us but if we give each other unwavering support we will all make it through just fine. I truly hope everyone is feeling much better and please keep posting people.
Good night

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Hi guys.
Just came to say thank you for all the support you have given me over the past year or so. There have been moments which have been very dark for me and you have all really helped me through them. For this I cannot thank you all enough xx the bad situation last week has been resolved, which I am very thankful for, as my depression started creeping back and I was in an emotional mess for 2 days, not wanting to even work or go off the farm (even on to the lane). There will always be ups and downs for all of us but if we give each other unwavering support we will all make it through just fine. I truly hope everyone is feeling much better and please keep posting people.
Good night

Glad you're improving and happy to help

I've had my challenges in the past, especially late teens, but these days I seem incredibly resilient. I just dip into here to support others.

Mel and I have both read the books by Ant Middleton (, First man in) and Joseph "Foxy" Fox (Battle scars). Both are Staff on "SAS, Who dares wins". Ant's book is largely about physical challenges but Foxy's is all about severe mental health issues. They are both interesting reads with messages about resilience.

 

[Christoph1945]

Great to hear the good feedback WBF. During the recent problems did you find your self getting very angry prior to the desire to get out and move on?

It took me many, many, years to discover that my diet influenced my sensitivity to events and accentuated my somewhat irritable responses to them, that then lead to a downward trend in psychological wellbeing.

The buffalo would have missed you greatly you know, had you left; as would your family.

Chris

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Great to hear the good feedback WBF. During the recent problems did you find your self getting very angry prior to the desire to get out and move on?

It took me many, many, years to discover that my diet influenced my sensitivity to events and accentuated my somewhat irritable responses to them, that then lead to a downward trend in psychological wellbeing.

The buffalo would have missed you greatly you know, had you left; as would your family.

Chris

Thanks Chris, it means a lot to hear that
I did feel very angry, but mostly huge amounts of panic and a lot of confusion tbh.
I didn't know what I wanted to happen.... There was so much going on in my head that I couldn't think logically about some stuff, or didn't want to. I overthink really, too much!
Diet is indeed a big part of everyone's wellbeing. I find if I take too much sugar I tend to feel bad in my mental wellbeing. So keeping limits on certain foods and such tbh

 

[Christoph1945]

Good morning folks,

have you ever thought about your early dreams? No, not those things that take place when you close your eyes and drift off into slumber land but those plans and ideas that you nurtured as a child, or in your youth.

Prior to asking the above question I was going to ask you what your childhood dreams were and what ever happened to them but I later refrained from asking the question. Why????

Well, there is a piece of Christian scripture, a prophecy, that states that your old men (people) shall dream dreams! There is also an other piece of scripture that says tell no one your dreams and I have often pondered over the second piece of scripture, thinking that it referred to those mind movies that we watch during our hours of sleep. It was only recently that I came across a statement that declared, when we tell people of our future plans and dreams our subconscious mind feels that we have already achieved the said dreams and as a consequence our drive towards it falters and fails. With all this in mind, I ask you to dig out and dust off your old dreams but tell no one but be carful what you wish for, you very well may get it!

Stay safe, stay well, and dream on.

Chris

Ps.....thank you all for feeding and supporting a generally ungrateful nation.

 

[Greenbeast]

Really feel like I need some winning right now, the farm is well on top of me, we're sinking fast and i don't know how we'll recover. Keep fairly good spirits most of the time even with ridiculous debts but when nothing goes right physically at the farm it makes it harder to bear.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Really feel like I need some winning right now, the farm is well on top of me, we're sinking fast and i don't know how we'll recover. Keep fairly good spirits most of the time even with ridiculous debts but when nothing goes right physically at the farm it makes it harder to bear.

I'm really sorry to hear that

It will indeed make it very hard to bear, debts are a huge drain on both physical and mental wellbeing. If there's anything anyone here can do to help then please ask. I think with this it's a case of do your best, that's all we can do really. Know when we are beat but with everything there are always new opportunities. With life no matter if things go wrong in one aspect we will, mostly, get a second chance at some things please keep writing. You're welcome to pm me if you need to talk/let off steam to someone.
TC

 

[Christoph1945]

GB,

can you elaborate? How big is your farm, what do you farm, how many years have you been farming, what has been going wrong, and how big is the debt & why? The whole story!

Chris

 

[Christoph1945]

GB,

whilst waiting for your reply I will read up on some of your threads; tractor wiring, trailer problems, radiator leaks, etc, etc. etc.

Chris