Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[emd]

Thank you for the replies. I’m going to give it a go. Micheal3112 thank you for your honesty it is very much appreciated, you clearly been through hell and come back still helping others, very kind.

 

[Christoph1945]

Recent posts certainly confirm and underscore the fact that major depression, with support and guidance, is certainly survivable and you can come out the other side of depression a renewed and stronger person.

The earlier that support and advice is sought, the better.

What is also helpful is feedback from those who have been through the mill and are prepared to write about their experiences with mental illness. Not just the one who is suffering from anger/anxiety/depression but those family members and friends who are trying to support and assist those who need assistance.

I still remember one of our contributors in here telling us of how his daughter repeatedly attempted suicide but despite all efforts to make sure that she didn't, she eventually did and left the family totally devastated.

If you have lost a friend, family member, or an acquaintance to suicide, how have you coped with the loss?

 

[BobGreen]

Recent posts certainly confirm and underscore the fact that major depression, with support and guidance, is certainly survivable and you can come out the other side of depression a renewed and stronger person.

The earlier that support and advice is sought, the better.

What is also helpful is feedback from those who have been through the mill and are prepared to write about their experiences with mental illness. Not just the one who is suffering from anger/anxiety/depression but those family members and friends who are trying to support and assist those who need assistance.

I still remember one of our contributors in here telling us of how his daughter repeatedly attempted suicide but despite all efforts to make sure that she didn't, she eventually did and left the family totally devastated.

If you have lost a friend, family member, or an acquaintance to suicide, how have you coped with the loss?

If anyone gets chance read a book titled " When I had a little sister " by Catherine Simpson
She is from a farming family and it tells the story of her younger sister who took her own life in her forties after what the author describes battling depression from being 8 YES 8 years old
It also describes how families didn't talk about such problems or even acknowledge them
It is a very well written and thought provoking book

 

[Christoph1945]

Thanks for the heads up on that book Bob, I will check with my local library and failing that will try ebay, or Amazon.

 

[Christoph1945]

A number of subscribers to this thread have written concerning the use of light boxes to alleviate winter related depression (SAD) and I was wondering which brand of light box folk were using and at what purchase cost. If you have tried a light box, was it really helpful and how noticeable were the effects of using it?

 

[Gong Farmer]

We've got this one, I like it because it looks like Marvin the paranoid android.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Redstone-S...rds=SAD+lamp&qid=1552550047&s=gateway&sr=8-12

It's bright enough to turn all other lights off in the lounge and still have illumination for an evening reading or watching TV. Could well be a placebo effect but I swear it works.Never had to sit next to it on a desk but some do.

 

[Farmer1001]

This cropped up on Twitter today, thought it very apt especially with the recent comments about seasonal affects (SAD). Go easy everyone, brighter longer days are around the corner, but don't be afraid to shout if you need a helping hand to weather the storm.

 

[lazy farmer]

A number of subscribers to this thread have written concerning the use of light boxes to alleviate winter related depression (SAD) and I was wondering which brand of light box folk were using and at what purchase cost. If you have tried a light box, was it really helpful and how noticeable were the effects of using it?

This is mine. Works for me to the extent that my much better half tells me when to turn it on as she has had to live with me before we had one.
I have it behind my tablet on the kitchen table. What I am saying is you don’t have to stare at it for hours you can get on with other stuff as long as it’s within your eyeline.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beurer-TL4...2729646&s=gateway&sprefix=Sad+,aps,166&sr=8-9

 

[Christoph1945]

Very perceptive our other halves, aren't they?

Thanks for the information on the light box and also the feedback on it's effectiveness .

Chris

 

[Christoph1945]

Like unto a great many others I was totally stunned by the news that came flooding out of New Zealand yesterday and was almost unable to relay all the reported facts verbally to my Mrs.

Some may say that this is the wrong place to bring the matter up but, perhaps not!

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

It was indeed sad @Christoph1945 but it was also complete negligence on the government's part for allowing him in.... But anyway what's done is done now, sadly those families will never be the same again.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Past couple days have been a bit depressing, to say the least, had 2 heart to heart talks with a close mate about my life and such and his life. There's just some things I wanted to say and I couldn't and although he said he wouldn't judge me at all and that he felt like I didn't trust him enough I just said to him I don't trust anybody, because I don't. I have found the more I go on in life the less I am beginning to care about anyone else's lives. I pretend to care and listen but deep down I can't give a single shred of sympathy to anyone else. Maybe that's wrong I dunno, but I used to be able to help/counsel others and now I just think I don't wanna get involved, I don't wanna know, I don't need drama, I'm just going to live my life and screw everyone else. Should I be concerned about this lack of sympathy to others? I guess I built it up cos I'm fed up with others using that as a weapon against me so now I really can't give a crap about anyone else but myself...... Eeek

 

[BobGreen]

Past couple days have been a bit depressing, to say the least, had 2 heart to heart talks with a close mate about my life and such and his life. There's just some things I wanted to say and I couldn't and although he said he wouldn't judge me at all and that he felt like I didn't trust him enough I just said to him I don't trust anybody, because I don't. I have found the more I go on in life the less I am beginning to care about anyone else's lives. I pretend to care and listen but deep down I can't give a single shred of sympathy to anyone else. Maybe that's wrong I dunno, but I used to be able to help/counsel others and now I just think I don't wanna get involved, I don't wanna know, I don't need drama, I'm just going to live my life and screw everyone else. Should I be concerned about this lack of sympathy to others? I guess I built it up cos I'm fed up with others using that as a weapon against me so now I really can't give a crap about anyone else but myself...... Eeek

There is only one person important in your life
And that’s you
Don’t ever worry what other people think
They’re not important

 

[patricia]

Past couple days have been a bit depressing, to say the least, had 2 heart to heart talks with a close mate about my life and such and his life. There's just some things I wanted to say and I couldn't and although he said he wouldn't judge me at all and that he felt like I didn't trust him enough I just said to him I don't trust anybody, because I don't. I have found the more I go on in life the less I am beginning to care about anyone else's lives. I pretend to care and listen but deep down I can't give a single shred of sympathy to anyone else. Maybe that's wrong I dunno, but I used to be able to help/counsel others and now I just think I don't wanna get involved, I don't wanna know, I don't need drama, I'm just going to live my life and screw everyone else. Should I be concerned about this lack of sympathy to others? I guess I built it up cos I'm fed up with others using that as a weapon against me so now I really can't give a crap about anyone else but myself...... Eeek

Oh my gosh Waterbuffofarmer, is that really you that wrote that wrote? You that , don't care about anyone other than yourself, you who comes to my rescue when I need support! Ammmm, this New Zealand situation is Tragic, overwhelming to the brain, as too all of the other terrible things we hear of everyday. We are all much more exposed to tragic/ terror events, than when I was a child. Due to the Internet making the world a much smaller place. No longer waiting for a visitor to knock on the door. Just clicking a button to invite anyone/ everyone into our life! Computer games teaching about what gun is what and let's play war? It is sad , very sad that such a great tool as the net, has become such a great weapon against Humanity. It does effect us all and due to bombardment of , can make us feel as if we , don't want to care, about anyone or anything. But! I for one know that you do care and by being a care for others person, you like most feel overwhelmed with your caring for others, your wanting to wave that magic wand, solve all/every problem of the world. This started as a short note to say " Thankyou for caring about others on here/ anywhere, to include myself... When I needed you most, you where there for me xxxx and I love you lots for it. I will trust you on the journey to the moon and back. So now... Go put your wellie boots on, splash in the mud , and scream out that song xxxx

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Put your own self first, @waterbuffalofarmer .

You need to surround yourself with folk who will pull you up, not burden you - when you're younger it's often difficult to find these people for friends.
And as you age, you tend to get more discerning, or at least that was my key to finding a bit more happiness in my day - now I'm even strong enough to handle TFF
If you do play counsel though, try to avoid discussing the topic of "other people" amd try to steer conversation towards ideas and beliefs - stuff that you aren't inadvertently /unwittingly going to feel guilty about, which 'behind their back' talk can do to us.

Sorry to be a stranger, I've been that busy on the jollistic holistic forum I've hardly ventured anywhere else on here.

 

[patricia]

My Welsh friends are telling me about flooding? Poor farmers and their animals. I expect they will be feeling down once the crisis they are now dealing with calms down. So my friend Waterbuffalowfarmer, have your sing out song and come back to us de-stressed. We need you! I'm not a farmer . City bod me ( many years ago) rescued -what I thought was a 3 hours old goat ( boy blue). Only to find ( when 4days later collecting from , expensive, vets. It was a sheep not a goat. I never knew there was a black and white sheep? Lol. He lived with us for 18 months then went to London Zoo in petting pen. So I'm going to be no good at offering any advice regards farm animal care. ( I only know black and white sheep are called Jacobs? )... I think? Lol. Us bloody Londoners!

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Thanks @patricia but I think this feeling will be permanent... Most of the friends I have now have that attitude, or similar, I guess I just took it a step further. But it really helps me think logically through things, keep stress down and just get on with my life. So I think in that case it's ok really to be selfish, we all have to be and it's pretty good. I did genuinely care about you when I said that, I do still get pangs of genuine care for some people. Mostly I dumb it down tho and just think well not really my problem and move on. I used to fret over people a lot, but being with my group of mates I learned i can rise above that and take care of myself above anyone else. Look after my beliefs and my own wellbeing putting that first before anything as it should be. I may pop in here from time to time to offer some advice. I'd like to thank everyone for their support and such through my bad times and suicidal times, may they become fewer with time I will admit with this support group it's been so good, but I can't use it to my full potential because my brother reads TFF and he'd read it and I don't want him knowing certain aspects of my life, which is not nice cos those are ones I need out but I can't. I have my friends who I can talk to and share stuff, but I'm careful as everybody judges and sooner or later it will get back down to my beliefs being the problem, when they aren't it's just stating most people now are religiously intolerant....
Cheers peeps and TC yaselves

 

[patricia]

I

Thanks @patricia but I think this feeling will be permanent... Most of the friends I have now have that attitude, or similar, I guess I just took it a step further. But it really helps me think logically through things, keep stress down and just get on with my life. So I think in that case it's ok really to be selfish, we all have to be and it's pretty good. I did genuinely care about you when I said that, I do still get pangs of genuine care for some people. Mostly I dumb it down tho and just think well not really my problem and move on. I used to fret over people a lot, but being with my group of mates I learned i can rise above that and take care of myself above anyone else. Look after my beliefs and my own wellbeing putting that first before anything as it should be. I may pop in here from time to time to offer some advice. I'd like to thank everyone for their support and such through my bad times and suicidal times, may they become fewer with time I will admit with this support group it's been so good, but I can't use it to my full potential because my brother reads TFF and he'd read it and I don't want him knowing certain aspects of my life, which is not nice cos those are ones I need out but I can't. I have my friends who I can talk to and share stuff, but I'm careful as everybody judges and sooner or later it will get back down to my beliefs being the problem, when they aren't it's just stating most people now are religiously intolerant....
Cheers peeps and TC yaselves

fully understand, I promise you. If you have never known me in person for some long time, you would never believe my true life , really did happen and yes I really did do that , life's stories. Just my own stories without the stories of those I love. Like I have shown here. As for chatting in depth on here... Well I got slaughtered over grammar. ( I still laugh about that. Please message me and I'll pass my tel number on) I only popped back on here briefly because kept getting emails, was going to shut all off for alerts. Then saw yours? Had to read it as your me mate! Lol. Was sad to hear your down. So I'm an old lady with lots of stories of events and adventures. I've suffered judgment of many from different walks of life. When I was in uni my cockney accent was constantly being judged or badly mimicked, by those that thought themselves better. So be positive, don't stress and keep singing. As for life, an old saying. When your younger you trust everyone until they prove you can't? When your older you trust no one until they prove you can. ( as for life, I'm sad to say that when young I thought it had to get better? But it doesn't , all the badness/ madness is still about. You just learn to take on board what you must and realise you can't save the world. So maybe what you have chosen to do now? Leave here! Is right for you at this time. As it was right for me to open the emails in the day you felt down? God works in odd ways. XXXX I too am skipping TFF ... Due to the habit of my ........'s and bad grammar lol. Laugh more just laugh , the medicine of life is laughter. Next is Singing lol xxxxxx

 

[Kiwi Pete]

My motto has become:

"what other people think of me was never, and is not, my business"

... that's their business! So by acknowledging the fact, they cannot bring you down.
Unless you give them your consent...

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Thanks @patricia but I think this feeling will be permanent... Most of the friends I have now have that attitude, or similar, I guess I just took it a step further. But it really helps me think logically through things, keep stress down and just get on with my life. So I think in that case it's ok really to be selfish, we all have to be and it's pretty good. I did genuinely care about you when I said that, I do still get pangs of genuine care for some people. Mostly I dumb it down tho and just think well not really my problem and move on. I used to fret over people a lot, but being with my group of mates I learned i can rise above that and take care of myself above anyone else. Look after my beliefs and my own wellbeing putting that first before anything as it should be. I may pop in here from time to time to offer some advice. I'd like to thank everyone for their support and such through my bad times and suicidal times, may they become fewer with time I will admit with this support group it's been so good, but I can't use it to my full potential because my brother reads TFF and he'd read it and I don't want him knowing certain aspects of my life, which is not nice cos those are ones I need out but I can't. I have my friends who I can talk to and share stuff, but I'm careful as everybody judges and sooner or later it will get back down to my beliefs being the problem, when they aren't it's just stating most people now are religiously intolerant....
Cheers peeps and TC yaselves

Just an option Eirene:

You could choose 2 or 3 contributors on this thread that you feel you could trust to open up to and set up a private message conversation with them. That way you can open up completely but only the people you've invited can see it. I strongly suspect that, with the support of the others in the thread, one of the Mods could completely delete the message thread afterwards as well if you wanted. I know even the Mods can't read the content of PMs.