Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

no some one very close was a loner didn't get on with parents,easly depressed,never had what you could call close freinds,always botteled things up,went out 1 night in his car had a drive around,stopped on moors near fylingdales [golf balls on heartbeat] rest of his life was on the toss of a coin,one way was driveing into bridge at bottom of hill,other was going home,not long after he met some one that changed his life,if he hadn't met here i no he wouldn't be here naw
 

grumpy

Member
Location
Fife
no some one very close was a loner didn't get on with parents,easly depressed,never had what you could call close freinds,always botteled things up,went out 1 night in his car had a drive around,stopped on moors near fylingdales [golf balls on heartbeat] rest of his life was on the toss of a coin,one way was driveing into bridge at bottom of hill,other was going home,not long after he met some one that changed his life,if he hadn't met here i no he wouldn't be here naw
yer mum?
 

snowhite

Member
Location
BRETAGHNE
often it is the pressure from people out side that makes it hard for farmers , the people that judge with out knowing all , 22 farmers in this county did it in the last year , often the ones that leave a letter the letter does not pinpoint the real reason that is ever harder
 

Walterp

Member
Location
Pembrokeshire
you wouldn't bore me,the more folks talk about it the better and agree the nhs is a waste of time.and these folks are great.

http://www.mind.org.uk/

No, you wouldn't bore me, either.

But the NHS is struggling to address an illness that isn't really regarded as one, perhaps because its nature isn't fully known, because it's so complicated. Why do some people respond to Prozac, whilst others treat it as a placebo? Did Electro Convulsive Treatment ever work? If so, why? What, after all is said and done, is 'sanity'?

My mother underwent extensive medication and ECT and committed suicide in her hospital room, when she was 41. I know it sounds trite, but I have since discovered (to my great surprise) that the effects of an early death in one's family can reverberate down a generation - my mother's early loss irrecoverably unbalanced my family dynamics, to an extent that the 15-year-old me would never have expected or anticipated.

Everyone who suffers, or has family members who suffer, deserve the utmost sympathy.
 

Andyrob

Moderator
Media
I had a friend, who I shall not mention take his own life as he was being pressured into taking the farm and its colossal debt with him.

He hated the idea of farming and wanted to go his own way but they refused him
 

Monocock

Member
Location
Central
I find the facts in this thread quite alarming, sad, and worrying.

What is it about our industry that brings this on? Loneliness? Lack of profit? Too much work and not enough play time? Being forced into an industry that perhaps some wouldn't choose and feeling they have to follow the previous generation's lead?

I'm genuinely sorry to hear of those here who have lost loved ones, and I sincerely hope you can come to terms with it sooner rather than later.

Forums like these are brilliant for lonely people who are looking for some 'real world' contact, even if they do choose to be anonymous.
 

snarling bee

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Bedfordshire
Thanks for your comments.
Since that fateful day we have said that life goes on for the living, we have 2 other children (who have been fantastic), but we must rid society of the stigma of mental illness. So much has been talked about the big C that it is now not stigmatised as it used to be and many sufferers talk freely. If as much money was thrown at mental issues as there is against cancer and heart disease then some of us may be spared our horrors.
We know that although the pain gets a bit easier month by month, any of us who knew Lizzie could suffer in the future from issues connected to our grief. But being semi prepared for that is half the battle. Nothing will bring her back, but if we can improve the system, improve understanding and tolerance, and get some changes made then perhaps her life will not have been in vain.
 

Flyer

Member
Location
New Forest
Suicide is high amongst farmers because there is such a stigma that goes with being a 'failed farmer' or even contractor. The stigma is far worse than in other industries, and it is only compounded by the fact farmers keep to themselves and will sooner top themselves than ask for help from a neighbour.

Charities such as Farm Crisis Network do a valiant job but I think more emphasis should be out on getting farmers to simply talk to each other about their problems, because chances are once you do that you will realise your neighbour has far bigger problems than yourself. After all a problem shared is a problem solved :)

I wonder how many people are reading this thread having been feeling this way? Why not sign up and join in, you will be feeling better in no time - and you can get an answer to just about anything :)
 

Andyrob

Moderator
Media
Il be honest.

The thought ran threw my head earlier this year.

I got paid off for bad weather. Applied for 90 odd jobs with 2 replies back struggling with money and didn't see much of a way out.

For a split second it came into my head reading about a friend who had did it.

Btw iv never suffered from depression but this last few years has been a vicious circle.

Iv worked on a farm for part of the year then dropped. Was told I could do my certificates and nothing came from it. Spent all winter hunting out jobs and nothing.

I have been refused for a job as a cleaner dispensing post in office asked to cart silage for 4 quid an hr. I want to work but some things have just not panned out.

Iv had some offers to go over to England but tbh I never had the money for a flight.
 

llamedos

New Member
Il be honest.

The thought ran threw my head earlier this year.

I got paid off for bad weather. Applied for 90 odd jobs with 2 replies back struggling with money and didn't see much of a way out.

For a split second it came into my head reading about a friend who had did it.

Btw iv never suffered from depression but this last few years has been a vicious circle.

Iv worked on a farm for part of the year then dropped. Was told I could do my certificates and nothing came from it. Spent all winter hunting out jobs and nothing.

I have been refused for a job as a cleaner dispensing post in office asked to cart silage for 4 quid an hr. I want to work but some things have just not panned out.

Iv had some offers to go over to England but tbh I never had the money for a flight.

Andy, From the above, do I understand you are still unemployed?
From what I understand, NI job seekers are treated the same way as they are in England, do you know you are entitled to claim expenses for travel to a job interview. Seldom will you be told this though.
Do you have a CV written? What work are you looking for have you put an advert in the jobs section on here.
Don't stop believing in yourself, if you are unsure how to sell yourself or your skills I am sure several on here would help you to write a good CV.
Don't dismiss the silage carting, it may open other doors, but equally drive the bargain and with a smile and a wink ask the man if he would cart for that price!

Good luck with your search.
 

GenuineRisk

Member
Location
Somerset
So sorry for the losses mentioned above but while it is maybe physically 'easier' to accomplish for farmers, they certainly don't have the monopoly. I wonder if it doesn't just come down to a 'simple' chemical imbalance and a lottery as to whether that imbalance will affect you in a more severe way than the person next to you. A good friend of mine also lost her 15 child to suicide some forty years ago and to this day, they will never completely understand why - they have four other beautiful children, no obvious reason other than what to other 15yos would be normal everyday agro but to that child, it was too much and too overwhelming....

The NHS is just too big, too unwieldy, has too many self-protecting rules and regulations which may seem totally out of order but that's actually our fault - we have become a litigious society and blame culture rules and the ones that suffer are those poor parents like snarlingbee, who need help urgently but which can't be delivered due to others selfish actions.
 

llamedos

New Member
As a forum we were approached by Farm community network sometime ago to provide a link to people that can help

http://www.fcn.org.uk/

We were of course happy to help however we could and there will soon be a click thorough banner direct to their website and advisors (we are just waiting if their committee to approve what we have done before it can go live though)

Forums are a great place for the isolated to ge together, get advice or just talk rubbish if they like. I see forums like TTF playing an important role in the future connecting people who can help each other

@Clive

Until this live link is approved, would it be possible to have a "no reply" sticky post, at the top of say Agricultural Matters and livestock boards, all it needs to be is the phone number and brief outline.
 

Recoil

Member
Location
South East Wales
@llamedos

Trust me it was a brief moment of stupidity on my part. I'm grand.

Yea everything sorted but one of those dark moments. Think it was the day I got rejected for a cleaner as I was over qualified.

School has been applied for so it's a waiting game now.

I can't understand when they say you're over qualified for a job. Surely by applying for the job, means you want to do it.
 

Chae1

Member
Location
Aberdeenshire
Thanks for your comments.
Since that fateful day we have said that life goes on for the living, we have 2 other children (who have been fantastic), but we must rid society of the stigma of mental illness. So much has been talked about the big C that it is now not stigmatised as it used to be and many sufferers talk freely. If as much money was thrown at mental issues as there is against cancer and heart disease then some of us may be spared our horrors.
We know that although the pain gets a bit easier month by month, any of us who knew Lizzie could suffer in the future from issues connected to our grief. But being semi prepared for that is half the battle. Nothing will bring her back, but if we can improve the system, improve understanding and tolerance, and get some changes made then perhaps her life will not have been in vain.

I know different things help different people but I read a book depression curse of the strong by Tim Cantopher after hearing him speaking about the subject on radio 2. It helped me understand and explained that as mentioned above it is a chemical imbalance and can be seen in tests. Also people with certain personality traits are more likely to suffer from it, ie those people that will never say no when asked to do something and those that want everything to be perfect. I'm sure the NHS are bogged down with time wasters who just want signed off work. Pity they can t do some sort of test to show chemical imbalance to show genuine sufferers.
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

  • 0 %

    Votes: 81 42.2%
  • Up to 25%

    Votes: 68 35.4%
  • 25-50%

    Votes: 30 15.6%
  • 50-75%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 75-100%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

    Votes: 7 3.6%

Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

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As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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