Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

Location
Wales
Sorry to hear that Buffy. Your family issues are no nearer resolution then?
Everything's just a really long process, things take time. I'm thankful it's a different set this time, but still. Most of the time I feel really lost and confused and worthless. It doesn't matter what anybody says to me I'm stuck believing and thinking that. I'm going to see the Dr at some point soon for some blood tests or something as I've noticed any amount of stress causes me to lose hair rapidly and then ofc I stress more and more that makes it a lot worse. The farm is just seriously getting me down atm. Lack of customers for animals I'm trying to sell, I just yeah.... It's hard. I know others have it way worse tho, so for mine I'm grateful :)
 

Fromebridge

Member
Location
Glos
They say animals know if something's up, but I never would've thought that of chickens tbh. Family life got too much today :( so I took refuge in the garden and bawled my eyes out. My black rock came running over and is refusing to leave my side, keeps assuring me of her presence, clucking and scratching near me. How is everyone else doing? :)
Instances like that, I start to believe in the possibility of reincarnation.
 

fiat 9090

Member
Location
co offaly eire
They say animals know if something's up, but I never would've thought that of chickens tbh. Family life got too much today :( so I took refuge in the garden and bawled my eyes out. My black rock came running over and is refusing to leave my side, keeps assuring me of her presence, clucking and scratching near me. How is everyone else doing? :)
Your not on your own I can tell you that but a nice story about your hen
 

Christoph1945

Member
Location
Cheshire
Further to earlier talks of gluten, I found this very interesting. Sound (and accent!) is not perfect but wait till the end for brain references.

That guy has underscored and highlighted what I have learned the hard way over many, many, years. It is well worth re-watching and digesting (pardon the pun) what he, as a medical professional, has to say about the influence of gluten upon the balance of the human metabolism. Our journeys into anxiety/anger/depression often appears not to follow any rhyme or reason; that is until we seek out and find the trigger mechanism that may set things rolling.

Stay safe, stay well. and take not of what you eat.

Chris (y)
 
Hope everyone is well?

I just realised this afternoon that this will be about the first winter in recent memory, that I haven't had a real dose of "the winter blues". (y)
I think routine 'exercise' has made the difference - not just "work keeps me fit" exercise, but actually making time to go for a jog instead of it always being about family/farm/ other stuff coming before me :unsure:

Only an hour or so a week, plus the odd random burst :facepalm: but I feel "rewarded" in no small way.
I am not going to bump into @lazy farmer out there, unless he covers the bulk of the distance :whistle::whistle:
 
Three miles is about my limit at the moment. So 11,500 miles make take awhile !!!
Totally agree with the self reward thing. It also allows me to be competitive with myself in a healthy environment. Whether it will help with my SAD or not only time will tell.
I certainly hope it does for you what it does for me .

I like the constant challenge involved in being master of the body - one day I'll be happy if I can control my bladder, I guess!

I think a lot of the reward is arriving home from work feeling a bit buggered and still deciding to crack on with going for a quick run.
Main problem now is calming myself down again after, as I want to attack 7 different things at once (n) but it is helping with the sleep.

:)
 
At this stage i’m loving the progress. First park run I did I couldn’t even get up the stairs afterwards! Five weeks on and 2 1/2 minutes quicker I’m not even noticing any stiffness the next morning. Very pleased.

Just as importantly it is giving my brain a new outlet. Something different to focus on rather than just cash flows, weather forecast, Trump, Boris et cetera et cetera. It is an area in which I am in control of the outcome and that’s very empowering
 

worker

Member
At this stage i’m loving the progress. First park run I did I couldn’t even get up the stairs afterwards! Five weeks on and 2 1/2 minutes quicker I’m not even noticing any stiffness the next morning. Very pleased.

Just as importantly it is giving my brain a new outlet. Something different to focus on rather than just cash flows, weather forecast, Trump, Boris et cetera et cetera. It is an area in which I am in control of the outcome and that’s very empowering
I completely agree, when calving ended this April I took up circuit training, in addition to my Zumba addiction. I love to push myself to the limit and feel so much stronger, mentally as well as physically. I also get a thrill buying new workout gear!
 

Paul E

Member
Location
Sunny Yorkshire
It's a recurring theme on here that people realize that they have a problem themselves....credit to you all. (myself included at one time)
But how do you tell, explain, or point out to a family member that it's fairly obvious that they have a problem? (and that their problem is bringing everyone else down, and the concern expressed is damaging other relationships)
 

Christoph1945

Member
Location
Cheshire
That, my friend, is a large and sometimes very difficult question to answer; without some clues as to the situation you are thinking of. You have heard it said that there are none so blind as those who will not see, or as deaf as those who will not hear and sadly the ones who are suffering from psychological problems just don't realise that it is they and their outlook that are problematic.

Persuading folk to talk and actively listening to them will go a long way to helping them to start opening up but please realise that they may require a more neutral listener.

Love, kindness, consideration, and patience will go a long way to helping you assist a family member that is going through rough times but don't forget that you also will require support and a friendly ear from time to time.

Chris (y)
 

primmiemoo

Member
Location
Devon
Thank you. It really hit me yesterday that I’m going to lose her soon. :(
I truly hope that isn't the case, @Friesianfan .

My mum was found to have had a tiny stroke that affected her swallowing. A help for that is a speach therapist, the attention helps with mood, too.

Ask the GP if that has been considered, because it isn't always.

Supporting thoughts to her, you and yours.
 

Friesianfan

Member
Location
Cornwall
I truly hope that isn't the case, @Friesianfan .

My mum was found to have had a tiny stroke that affected her swallowing. A help for that is a speach therapist, the attention helps with mood, too.

Ask the GP if that has been considered, because it isn't always.

Supporting thoughts to her, you and yours.
Thank you. Maybe worth asking the question. She’s had one ‘build up’drink today. I think time is short :cry:
 
Location
Wales
So sorry to hear that @Friesianfan I hope she recovers soon! Will be thinking of you all

Lately I've been having a rough time of it tbh.... I had a good talk with my brother this evening, my family seem concerned with how I am behaving lately. I told my brother that the reason why I am so reckless mostly and don't care about stuff is because I don't care about my life, it's a mess anyway so why should i care about it and what happens to me? My brother said it's exactly this attitude of not caring that's leading me to meet idiotic people who are constantly dragging me down and using me. I think he's right. I am freely admitting that as of past year I don't even recognise myself anymore, I haven't cared about my existence because to me it means so little and instead have acted like a spoilt teenager. It's a cycle I have to break and it's one that will take a while. I'm fed up with guys chasing after me all the time, I'm fed up that i hardly have any friendships at all where the other person isnt trying to constantly *get me into bed* as it were. I'm just fed up. Ik that whenever any guy talks to me and is nice that in the end it'll just be that one thing they're after. I'm fed up with everything about myself, so much so that idc what happens to me anymore. I'm sick of my job and my life. The fact I'm rearing animals that nobody wants, the fact that no matter how hard I try it's all in vain, it feels like that. 1 whole list of people wanting calves and yet when it comes down to it they spit in your face or ghost you. I'm sick of my brain and of my own voice/thoughts. I want the old sensible me back, but she's long gone and it's a struggle to actually get back to being the old me. Sorry for the rant
 
So sorry to hear that @Friesianfan I hope she recovers soon! Will be thinking of you all

Lately I've been having a rough time of it tbh.... I had a good talk with my brother this evening, my family seem concerned with how I am behaving lately. I told my brother that the reason why I am so reckless mostly and don't care about stuff is because I don't care about my life, it's a mess anyway so why should i care about it and what happens to me? My brother said it's exactly this attitude of not caring that's leading me to meet idiotic people who are constantly dragging me down and using me. I think he's right. I am freely admitting that as of past year I don't even recognise myself anymore, I haven't cared about my existence because to me it means so little and instead have acted like a spoilt teenager. It's a cycle I have to break and it's one that will take a while. I'm fed up with guys chasing after me all the time, I'm fed up that i hardly have any friendships at all where the other person isnt trying to constantly *get me into bed* as it were. I'm just fed up. Ik that whenever any guy talks to me and is nice that in the end it'll just be that one thing they're after. I'm fed up with everything about myself, so much so that idc what happens to me anymore. I'm sick of my job and my life. The fact I'm rearing animals that nobody wants, the fact that no matter how hard I try it's all in vain, it feels like that. 1 whole list of people wanting calves and yet when it comes down to it they spit in your face or ghost you. I'm sick of my brain and of my own voice/thoughts. I want the old sensible me back, but she's long gone and it's a struggle to actually get back to being the old me. Sorry for the rant
Ranting is welcome, here (y)

However, YOU are the only one who can balance your own self esteem/ self image with reality - nobody else can do this, but they can erode your hard work.
It's sometimes a learned response, well in my case it was; have a sh!t day, talk to a friend, and let them list "my qualities" to make me feel OK about myself....?
I since learnt that it's better for me to admire me, myself - hope this makes sense?
Actually internalise that "I am worth better / more than this, I am more than a sum of the parts" and suddenly you've avoided the let-down of allowing others the right to regulate our own self-worth.

There's a saying, "nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent" and often we fall into this trap.. we get tired of boosting ourself, and rely on others to do it for us. Eventually they get tired too, and we crumble... or, they only boost us for their own benefits/motives, and that can be even worse!

Keep up the good fight, we've got your back (y)
 
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Juggler

Member
Location
North Wales
So sorry to hear that @Friesianfan I hope she recovers soon! Will be thinking of you all

Lately I've been having a rough time of it tbh.... I had a good talk with my brother this evening, my family seem concerned with how I am behaving lately. I told my brother that the reason why I am so reckless mostly and don't care about stuff is because I don't care about my life, it's a mess anyway so why should i care about it and what happens to me? My brother said it's exactly this attitude of not caring that's leading me to meet idiotic people who are constantly dragging me down and using me. I think he's right. I am freely admitting that as of past year I don't even recognise myself anymore, I haven't cared about my existence because to me it means so little and instead have acted like a spoilt teenager. It's a cycle I have to break and it's one that will take a while. I'm fed up with guys chasing after me all the time, I'm fed up that i hardly have any friendships at all where the other person isnt trying to constantly *get me into bed* as it were. I'm just fed up. Ik that whenever any guy talks to me and is nice that in the end it'll just be that one thing they're after. I'm fed up with everything about myself, so much so that idc what happens to me anymore. I'm sick of my job and my life. The fact I'm rearing animals that nobody wants, the fact that no matter how hard I try it's all in vain, it feels like that. 1 whole list of people wanting calves and yet when it comes down to it they spit in your face or ghost you. I'm sick of my brain and of my own voice/thoughts. I want the old sensible me back, but she's long gone and it's a struggle to actually get back to being the old me. Sorry for the rant
Sorry to hear this, it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy once you start believing your life is bad and that bad things will happen.. they will.. the reckless behaviour is a symptom of depression, not caring what happens to you opens the door to allow bad situations and bad people to have an effect on your life that would not otherwise happen, like you say its a cycle you need to find a way to break, not easy but not impossible.
I wish I had the answer, I know once you get pulled down by things its tough not to stay down, but there's a quote I like, 'Fall down 7 times, stand up 8'. Keep getting back up and try and tell yourself you are worth more, stop associating with people who don't have your best interests at heart, it may sound daft but your internal dialogue with yourself will manifest itself and have an effect on your life, so bad dialogue, bad things happen, the good news is that a good internal dialogue will result in good things happening, might sound daft but from my own experience its true.
What makes you happy? What moves you? Walking? Solitude? Sport? Music? There will be something non-farm related that you at least used to enjoy doing, re visit it, you might find the old you still there.
I wish you the best of luck, this place is very special, populated with very special people, you'll be ok, you just have to believe it.
 

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World Food Day: NFU Cymru celebrates Welsh food producers at the Senedd

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Written by Rachel Martin

NFU Cymru members and Assembly Members have been celebrating the role that Welsh farmers play in producing nutritious, high quality, safe affordable food during an event at the Senedd today on World Food Day (October 16).

The lunchtime event, which was sponsored by Llyr Gruffydd AM, included a special menu of fine Welsh produce.

Speaking at the event, NFU Cymru...
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