Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Christoph1945]

Thank you for the good wishes folks.

It still hurts here, there, and every where, but I'm now feeling a lot more mobile and completed a lot more work on the gardens yesterday. From what I can figure out, I fell at an angle and my left shoulder, hip, and fore arm were the first points of contact with the ground and my head, face, and glasses were not impacted; being left undamaged.

Although I don't post as often these days I do drop in on a regular basis just in case I should be able to lend a supportive comment here or there.

Stay safe, stay well, but unlike me ... keep an eye on your concentration!

Chris

 

[DrWazzock]

hi how are you ,I like reading your posts hope the farming is going well for u

I am doing OK thanks. Not breaking any records but just about keeping up. Some things get done a bit late or in the wrong order, or not quite right but they get done eventually.
If I look too far ahead or too deeply then I become daunted and stall.
If I just do what needs doing each day and don't think too much about what needs doing tomorrow or even in an hours time but just concentrate on the task in front of me then I get by OK. The weather has been very awkward, being damp at harvest and now too dry for drilling but can't change it so no good complaining.

Hope you are doing well.

 

[choochter]

I found this note in a jar in my mum's house when I was clearing it. It's in her handwriting.

It says, "A man without a smiling face should not open a shop." Chinese Proverb.

Always makes me chuckle.

 

[fiat 9090]

I am doing OK thanks. Not breaking any records but just about keeping up. Some things get done a bit late or in the wrong order, or not quite right but they get done eventually.
If I look too far ahead or too deeply then I become daunted and stall.
If I just do what needs doing each day and don't think too much about what needs doing tomorrow or even in an hours time but just concentrate on the task in front of me then I get by OK. The weather has been very awkward, being damp at harvest and now too dry for drilling but can't change it so no good complaining.

Hope you are doing well.

I had a bad run of depression and anxiety I had to drop customers cos I couldn cope but last few days are good so I'm looking forward to better days , if it's too dry for your sowing we can send you over some of our rain if you like

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Thank you for the good wishes folks.

It still hurts here, there, and every where, but I'm now feeling a lot more mobile and completed a lot more work on the gardens yesterday. From what I can figure out, I fell at an angle and my left shoulder, hip, and fore arm were the first points of contact with the ground and my head, face, and glasses were not impacted; being left undamaged.

Although I don't post as often these days I do drop in on a regular basis just in case I should be able to lend a supportive comment here or there.

Stay safe, stay well, but unlike me ... keep an eye on your concentration!

Chris

Sorry to hear about that boi. Hope you feel better soon! Your comments are amazing and have really helped me when I needed them

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Long time since I commented on here haha. Hope everybody is doing well and keeping their chins up? Past 2 months for me have been pretty awful and such, with big ups and very big downs, losing friends and gaining other better friends. I found a group of friends, who I have known for about a year now, and we go out every 2 weeks to do fun activities which is helping my social anxiety a bit. It's a positive, I will say that much. Sometimes when you least expect it wonderful people can come into your lives and make everything whole again. Last month I was in depression, working too much past month or more, very late nights, due to things, and that on top of almost splitting up with a new mate 4 times Ina row and mending fences.... Took its toll on my mental health and physical health, i lost 1/2 a stone in 2 weeks and lost my appetite, felt like a zombie. It's come back now tho.... Which is very good. Whatever happens there is always somebody to talk to/willing to help you if you actively search it out ??
Keep smiling peeps

 

[Christoph1945]

Once we see things for what they really are, they are not all that scary and eventually lose their power over us!

 

[DrWazzock]

Once we see things for what they really are, they are not all that scary and eventually lose their power over us!

View attachment 831679

Maybe , but that image, in its immediate unfiltered form, still create instinctive momentray terror in me, just as my cat was terrified of a hose pipe moving in the grass. Instinct imprinted down the generations. In the same way a sheep will respond to any predatory animal be it small cat or dog by stamping it's foot. It's an inherited response, not something leaned, just as I instinctively fear the image you show until cognitive processing diminishes but does not erase that fear.

 

[fiat 9090]

Hi everyone I hope he are all keeping well ,I was wondering do any of ye have any experience of councelling or psycotheraphy

 

[Christoph1945]

Actually being counselled, or counselling others?

 

[Christoph1945]

Maybe , but that image, in its immediate unfiltered form, still create instinctive momentray terror in me, just as my cat was terrified of a hose pipe moving in the grass. Instinct imprinted down the generations. In the same way a sheep will respond to any predatory animal be it small cat or dog by stamping it's foot. It's an inherited response, not something leaned, just as I instinctively fear the image you show until cognitive processing diminishes but does not erase that fear.

Probably a bad picture to illustrate what I was trying to get over. I was thinking more of those critters that hide in the recesses of our minds but having been suppressed, or repressed for so long, take on proportions that are more than they are really due. When our grandchildren saw the monsters, one of which is depicted in the photograph, they were deeply afraid but soon lost all their fear upon understanding what it was they were actually seeing and it could do them no harm.

Or, perhaps I am not really making any sense!

 

[Michael3112]

Hi everyone I hope he are all keeping well ,I was wondering do any of ye have any experience of councelling or psycotheraphy

I Have been to a psychotherapist which i found helpful at the time to work though really bad place i was in

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Probably a bad picture to illustrate what I was trying to get over. I was thinking more of those critters that hide in the recesses of our minds but having been suppressed, or repressed for so long, take on proportions that are more than they are really due. When our grandchildren saw the monsters, one of which is depicted in the photograph, they were deeply afraid but soon lost all their fear upon understanding what it was they were actually seeing and it could do them no harm.

Or, perhaps I am not really making any sense!

Mildly off thread I know but It is really interesting what people do find frightening these days. Society has become so divorced from reality that many urban folk find a mob brawl in town on a saturday night "normal" but are scared of dogs, spiders, cows etc. Personally I now consider many inner-city areas dangerous.

It is interesting though how some things just trigger that basic fear instinct even if we have never encountered them before.

 

[Christoph1945]

Not really off thread; the things that we are apparently afraid of can often give us clues to deeper seated problems and fears.

 

[DrWazzock]

Not really off thread; the things that we are apparently afraid of can often give us clues to deeper seated problems and fears.

What I am most afraid of, and that's a good question, is work overwhelming me and not being able to keep up or cope and then losing my business and livelihood.. Working as a self employed small business, things can soon spiral out of control if you get too far behind and there is no one to step in and help.

But, taking a step back, and making a list, I often realise this fear is unfounded, and that the list of jobs is well within my capacity, just as the children looking at the monster realise its a model.

Its a good question, "What do you fear most?" Once you have asked yourself that question you can address underlying anxieties more clearly.

Strangely I dont fear illness or death as much as failing at my business, as death and illness are generally something you can't do much about, but the success of my business is down to me, my fault if it goes wrong etc, so creates more fear.......until I rationalise it.

 

[DrWazzock]

I also live with the permanent regret that a relationship broke down years ago, and wonder what life would have been like if it hadn't. Probably in all honesty not as good as it is now, but still that "what if...I should have tried harder" nags away.

 

[Bury the Trash]

The fear of not being able to pay the bills is pretty real at times and not easy to make go away at times either.

 

[BobGreen]

I also live with the permanent regret that a relationship broke down years ago, and wonder what life would have been like if it hadn't. Probably in all honesty not as good as it is now, but still that "what if...I should have tried harder" nags away.

I know exactly how that feels. I often fight the overthinking of what if

 

[Christoph1945]

It's strange how one event may fill one person with dread, or anger, but the same event for some other person would just be part of daily life and they would say...............it is what it is. I understand that the Japanese talk about loss of face and am not sure exactly what they mean by that; wounded ego perhaps?

I know that the wounds of rejection cut deep and untended can take for ever to heal, but heal they can.

 

[Christoph1945]

Many years ago, a much loved and well meaning neighbor said to my wife...............'if Chris had been allowed to finish his education he could have been something'! How do you suppose my then mind interpreted that statement?