Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Christoph1945]

Ive looked at this thread over the years but this is the first time I’ve posted.

Don’t want to say too much as it’s a public forum, but, well.......... I’m not in a good place right now. There, I’ve admitted it!

I’m physically and mentally worn out and spend most of my time feeling like a complete failure. Seem to be stuck in a rut of constant drudgery and work, with no time for clear thinking/management time anymore.

I run a profitable business and have no money worries at all, but I feel under constant pressure to build the business to support my family.Very much struggling to find the correct work/life balance and find it very hard to switch off - when I do take time off I get feelings of guilt that I’m neglecting things/should be working harder. My wife is a big support to me but don’t want the farming business to ultimately come between us.

looking at social media everyone else makes life look so easy, and I often wonder where I’m going wrong. maybe a break away from social media is needed.

I have taken anti-depressants in the past but felt that long term they weren’t best for my health (left me feeling even more tired). So not sure what the solutions are, talking to people probably helps, but I see very few people on a day to day basis, not helped by the Covid situation of course.

But I would like to thank others for contributing to this thread, just so that I know I’m not the only person ‘struggling’. Sorry for rambling on, these are just a few random thoughts as I sit here at 3.30am about to milk my cows again

Good morning Early Riser,

an another day ahead with those coos,eh? How does the day normally pan out? Being a farm ignorant townie, I know next to nothing about coos, how you have to look after them, keep them safe from TB, get a decent price for their milk, organise AI, or a load of bull.

From what very little I have learned about farming on here, I guess that there is a great deal about farming to make one very angry and depression can soon slip in under one's radar.

If you really need to get something off your mind, why not withhold your number and ring one of the support agencies, of which there are many but of course members at FCN will comprehend your dilemmas far better than some others and will, no doubt, be able support you better than some others.

But if it's just someone to listen to you and act as a sounding-board the Samaritans are always there to listen and give you the opportunity to talk.

Stay safe, stay well, and above all remember that you are not alone; even at this unearthly hour!

Chris

 

[Christoph1945]

What time do you have there Pete? Not bedded down yet?

 

[Christoph1945]

What time do you have there Pete? Not bedded down yet?

Contemplating the time reminded me of a placard that I once saw displayed at a demonstration across the pond ..... 'The sun never sets on the British empire, because G-d doesn't trust the Brits in the dark!'

The sun never sets on TFF, because there are always some farmers awake!

 

[Robt]

@early riser if ever you want to call, text or Whatts app. Feel free. I don’t need to know your name.
07741643968. talking or texting is just one of many ways. Likewise if it’s not for you ( same goes for tablets or Therapy) then it’s ok! We are all different. Often the most confident are the least confident! No hurry

 

[early riser]

Thank you to everyone for your messages of support, both on this thread and via PM.

The last few days have been pretty manic with trying to fit in silaging/straw carting/calving in between milking cows, but I will reply to your messages in due course.

Planning on getting off farm today with the other half for a change of scenery

 

[GrannyAching]

Thank you to everyone for your messages of support, both on this thread and via PM.

The last few days have been pretty manic with trying to fit in silaging/straw carting/calving in between milking cows, but I will reply to your messages in due course.

Planning on getting off farm today with the other half for a change of scenery

Got to be a good day for it. Last India Summer day for a while, I think. Enjoy.

 

[Christoph1945]

Thank you to everyone for your messages of support, both on this thread and via PM.

The last few days have been pretty manic with trying to fit in silaging/straw carting/calving in between milking cows, but I will reply to your messages in due course.

Planning on getting off farm today with the other half for a change of scenery

Relax, chill, and do bit of people watching; as the world goes by today.

 

[Slug Herder]

My other half is running beyond empty today, I had to give her space, now she is feeling ashamed, she needs a friend to talk to, there is so many difficulties for her, and she just can't cope. Could I pm someone her number.

 

[GrannyAching]

My other half is running beyond empty today, I had to give her space, now she is feeling ashamed, she needs a friend to talk to, there is so many difficulties for her, and she just can't cope. Could I pm someone her number.

PMd you @Slug Herder

@primmiemoo can you help, please? I'm tied up until tomorrow.

 

[Christoph1945]

My other half is running beyond empty today, I had to give her space, now she is feeling ashamed, she needs a friend to talk to, there is so many difficulties for her, and she just can't cope. Could I pm someone her number.

How are you coping your self?

 

[Slug Herder]

Crisis over thanks for concern. Now we are all a little tired. Hope to get her to talk to someone, she knows there are good people out there. But she needs sleep. Thank you everyone.

 

[primmiemoo]

Crisis over thanks for concern. Now we are all a little tired. Hope to get her to talk to someone, she knows there are good people out there. But she needs sleep. Thank you everyone.

I'm so relieved to read this @Slug Herder . I've only just come in to TFF after supper and read notifications. There's no shame in feeling overwrought. May you all have a refreshing night's sleep, and find tomorrow is much brighter.

 

[GrannyAching]

I'm so relieved to read this @Slug Herder . I've only just come in to TFF after supper and read notifications. There's no shame in feeling overwrought. May you all have a refreshing night's sleep, and find tomorrow is much brighter.

Didn't mean to make you feel bad. I only tagged you because of the way the alerts work or (sometimes, for me) don't work. Take care.

 

[primmiemoo]

Didn't mean to make you feel bad. I only tagged you because of the way the alerts work or (sometimes, for me) don't work. Take care.

Tags are funny things, aren't they? I can only see alerts, etc, when I'm in front of the screen, so pls don't worry, GA

 

[ollie989898]

Ive looked at this thread over the years but this is the first time I’ve posted.

Don’t want to say too much as it’s a public forum, but, well.......... I’m not in a good place right now. There, I’ve admitted it!

I’m physically and mentally worn out and spend most of my time feeling like a complete failure. Seem to be stuck in a rut of constant drudgery and work, with no time for clear thinking/management time anymore.

I run a profitable business and have no money worries at all, but I feel under constant pressure to build the business to support my family.Very much struggling to find the correct work/life balance and find it very hard to switch off - when I do take time off I get feelings of guilt that I’m neglecting things/should be working harder. My wife is a big support to me but don’t want the farming business to ultimately come between us.

looking at social media everyone else makes life look so easy, and I often wonder where I’m going wrong. maybe a break away from social media is needed.

I have taken anti-depressants in the past but felt that long term they weren’t best for my health (left me feeling even more tired). So not sure what the solutions are, talking to people probably helps, but I see very few people on a day to day basis, not helped by the Covid situation of course.

But I would like to thank others for contributing to this thread, just so that I know I’m not the only person ‘struggling’. Sorry for rambling on, these are just a few random thoughts as I sit here at 3.30am about to milk my cows again

I bet there are a lot more people out there in your situation who are finding the same.

The news these days is just doom and gloom. It's just one raft of bad news injections after another- I just don't bother to watch it now.

You say you are running a profitable show and that counts for a lot in some ways. Can you fix at least one day a month where you get off the farm for say 4 hours or half a day or even a day where you can go with the family and spend some time at the beach or similar just to get away and spend time as a family or just with the wife?

Are there any things you could invest your profits in or change to make life a bit quicker and easier and eliminate some of the drudgery you describe?

It's been a hell of a year for virtually everyone I think. The pandemic and lock downs and then the weather have been hammering us all flat mentally, I'm convinced there are a heck of a lot of people out there who have taken a mental toll this year just from the media circus we have.

Take some time to do what makes you happy would be my advice.

 

[Christoph1945]

Our battle with the virus, like unto many battles, has turned our world upside-down and inside-out. Repeatedly, the media keep reminding us that we are all suffering from loss of human contacts and that must be influencing people's mental wellbeing.

We Brits have never been much on day to day physical contact (no I'm not talking sexual contact) and hugs, handshakes, and supportive hand on the shoulder very rarely happen but when they do they may well be misinterpreted by wounded and sensitive people. For years I worked as an Anglican sides person and frequently met elderly people who's only physical contact that week was the handshake with the vicar upon leaving the service and even that has now been swept away.

Pentecostals, of course, are much more into handshakes and hugs before, during, and after the service but that also has been swept away by our enemy, the virus!

Swept aside by the virus has been all the above, the after service cuppa, and a chat before heading home to commence an other lonely week. Of course the pub, club, hairdressers, and sports events have also suffered in the same ways.

With the afore mentioned in mind, I wonder if we can have a few more, well thought out, emoticons available and perhaps an additional/alternative button to like.

Many thanks to all you folk who have ploughed on (pardon the pun) and have kept the nation well fed.

Chris

 

[GrannyAching]

Tags are funny things, aren't they? I can only see alerts, etc, when I'm in front of the screen, so pls don't worry, GA

My phone is supposed to tell me every time there is activity on this thread but every so often it decides it's done enough work and stops. This means if I'm super busy and not popping into the forum for a "graze" that I miss stuff. The most annoying thing is that when it does this the alerts aren't there at all even when I log on to the lap top!

So I have been busy and these I can only post from the lap top but here's a bit of DPJ pick me up for anyone that likes them:-

 

[Kiwi Pete]

I bet there are a lot more people out there in your situation who are finding the same.

The news these days is just doom and gloom. It's just one raft of bad news injections after another- I just don't bother to watch it now.

You say you are running a profitable show and that counts for a lot in some ways. Can you fix at least one day a month where you get off the farm for say 4 hours or half a day or even a day where you can go with the family and spend some time at the beach or similar just to get away and spend time as a family or just with the wife?

Are there any things you could invest your profits in or change to make life a bit quicker and easier and eliminate some of the drudgery you describe?

It's been a hell of a year for virtually everyone I think. The pandemic and lock downs and then the weather have been hammering us all flat mentally, I'm convinced there are a heck of a lot of people out there who have taken a mental toll this year just from the media circus we have.

Take some time to do what makes you happy would be my advice.

Good call, Ollie.

I know the best advice is "don't retreat inside yourself, don't shut the world out" etc but the news is an onslaught. I haven't watched TV news since.... a long time ago. I wasn't even watching it much when the twin towers came down and that was a while ago now.
Watched about 20 minutes the other night- I had a cat on my lap and didn't want to disturb him to turn the bleddy thing off- and wow

I really couldn't be doing with a regular dose of that nonsense.
Can only imagine what a regular diet of "news" would do to the mind, it really should be R18.

 

[GrannyAching]

I'm not big on posting links but, in view of some of the conversations we are having here regarding health, I thought this might be an interesting reminder of how any virus can cause problems. https://www.iflscience.com/health-a...-suffer-lingering-fatigue-following-recovery/

 

[Christoph1945]

There was a time in the UK when our TV news was generally dramatized with it's delivery, timing, and dramatic music added. We were all in the living room one night and our small daughter turned to me and asked ... 'Is this real life daddy?'

On the day of the 9/11 attack I was returning home from a job interview and upon walking into the living-room to tell the wife that I had got the job I was told to shut up. Somewhat amazed, I looked around at all those sat glued to the TV as a neighbor squealed ...... 'There's an other one ..... It's a SECOND ONE.... OH MY GOD! Thinking that they were watching a Bruce Willis adventure I also watched as an aircraft slammed into a very tall building along side an other one that was already smoking heavily.

Despite having spent most of my life as an Anti-American Socialist, all I could think was .......... all those poor people!

The recollection of the event still brings a tear to my eye and at that time I didn't realise that fate would move me into international aviation security and I would be on duty for the anniversary of the attack and spend the last seven and a half years of my working life learning about the depth of anger that pervades our world; some kill them selves, some kill others, and some kill them selves and others at the same time.