Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[GrannyAching]

You need Ian Curtis to sing it
I hope you don’t mind, I’ll delete if it’s inappropriate

For his voice and talent, I assume you mean.

 

[czechmate]

For his voice and talent, I assume you mean.

yes
oh, I try and ignore his end

 

[GrannyAching]

yes
oh, I try and ignore his end

Fair enough.

 

[Christoph1945]

I have noticed a number of folk express extrem reluctance accept medication to help them through deeply troublng times and I do understand their reluctance and I do empathise with them.

Way back in the early eighties I bust my left ankle so badly that the work's doctor said that I would have been better breaking it, Cutting a long story short, I was issued with crutches upon being discharged from hospital and yes I did use them continually until the ankle healed sufficiently for me to put my weight on it for walking.

For the best use of the crutches I was measured for them and advised how best to use them.

If we can think of medication for psychological problems as a temporary crutch to help us through tough times, perhaps it will be easier for us to accept them. Of course, early intervention with sharing and talking therapies may avoid us ever having to resort to medication.

Better that we don't suffer in silence but talk to someone and take some of the load off our troubled minds.

Chris

 

[GrannyAching]

FROM DPJ FOUNDATION FB POST

Sometimes the toughest opponents are the ones you can't see.

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) have launched #InvisibleOpponent to show that you don’t have to fight those bouts alone. There is ALWAYS someone in your corner.

If you feel that you are fighting a battle in your head, please pick up the phone and call (0800 587 4262) or text (07860 048 799) us at the DPJ Foundation. We are in your corner and we are here to help.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Posted on FB by an old friend but seemed appropriate for this thread:

 

[Christoph1945]

We have a friend who was diagnosed with cervical cancer some years ago and underwent a hysterectomy and last year was diagnosed with slin cancer on her face. Our friend manages her diabetes quite well but this week she was also given a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

Not a lot that we can do medically for our friend but hopefully we will alwyas be on hand and ready to listen, whenever she needs a friendly ear. .

Stay safe, stay well. and please don't bottle things up!

 

[bumkin]

We have a friend who was diagnosed with cervical cancer some years ago and underwent a hysterectomy and last year was diagnosed with slin cancer on her face. Our friend manages her diabetes quite well but this week she was also given a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

Not a lot that we can do medically for our friend but hopefully we will alwyas be on hand and ready to listen, whenever she needs a friendly ear. .

Stay safe, stay well. and please don't bottle things up!

pancreatic cancer is the worst sort of cancer my wife died of it when you witnes that you know there is not a god

 

[Christoph1945]

Bumpkin,

I am deeply sorry for your loss and hope that time is healing your pain. We did lose an other friend to pancreatic cancer some years ago but her demise was aggravated by alcoholism. We also lost my father-in-law to bone cancer and nursed him here, at home, until his last breath.

There were no Mc Millan nurses to support us and the journey was deeply traumatic for us all but we made his passing as comfortable as possible.

 

[bumkin]

Bumpkin,

I am deeply sorry for your loss and hope that time is healing your pain. We did lose an other friend to pancreatic cancer some years ago but her demise was aggravated by alcoholism. We also lost my father-in-law to bone cancer and nursed him here, at home, until his last breath.

There were no Mc Millan nurses to support us and the journey was deeply traumatic for us all but we made his passing as comfortable as possible.

yes the mc Millan nurses are a fine bunch of women, and yes to nurse someone through that is traumatic I don't think anyone will ever forget witnessing someone basically starving to death then of course there is the loss of losing someone who has been your partner for forty od years as a farmer its someone you lived with seven days a week three meals a day, then nothing.

 

[Christoph1945]

Nearly lost my wife three times in recent years; once to sepsis, and twice to pneumonia. With both our kids having flown the nest it was strange comming home to an empty house; the silence was immense and almost over powering. I can only imagine how it must be when the loss of a partner is total and complete.

How long has it been since your wife died and were you with her when she passed away?

 

[bumkin]

Nearly lost my wife three times in recent years; once to sepsis, and twice to pneumonia. With both our kids having flown the nest it was strange comming home to an empty house; the silence was immense and almost over powering. I can only imagine how it must be when the loss of a partner is total and complete.

How long has it been since your wife died and were you with her when she passed away?

just over a year, not a day goes by when I don't think of her, nothing seems to be worth the bother

 

[Christoph1945]

just over a year, not a day goes by when I don't think of her, nothing seems to be worth the bother

I hadn't realised that your loss was so recent and just how raw the pain must be. I know that it just isn't the same but do you have company on the farm and do you take time to talk about your wife?

 

[bumkin]

I hadn't realised that your loss was so recent and just how raw the pain must be. I know that it just isn't the same but do you have company on the farm and do you take time to talk about your wife?

my son works on the farm and lives across the yard with his family but to talk about it is too much I get too emotional

 

[ollie989898]

So sorry if it offends, but face to face, there's no way a lady can offer the same support as a man for most of my concerns. Empathy yes, a different side, but a lot of the things I worry about are fairly shameful to admit. And while that may be stereotypical, that's as real as a 4am worrry.

What you describe is personal preference. I have met patients who would much prefer to talk to a man or woman for whatever reason. That is AOK and nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty about. You can be referred to a counselling or similar service by your GP or just seek one out privately and pay the fee. Believe me, these services are out there and perfectly affordable. You may find it very very useful to know that you just have to be at a particular place at 10am on a Friday morning to talk to someone totally impartial. I think this could really really benefit you.

 

[ollie989898]

my son works on the farm and lives across the yard with his family but to talk about it is too much I get too emotional

Becoming emotional in the circumstances is perfectly understandable; I would think every one of us here would agree with that and not think anything less of you for saying so. If you feel it would be of benefit just to talk to someone then surely who is best but your own family? No man is an island and we all rely upon each other in this life in a myriad of ways. I am sure your son would understand better than anyone?

 

[Kiwi Pete]

just over a year, not a day goes by when I don't think of her, nothing seems to be worth the bother

I can't say much to that, other than I'm really sorry for your loss, and for how you feel .

Grief, by itself, is tough enough.

 

[Christoph1945]

my son works on the farm and lives across the yard with his family but to talk about it is too much I get too emotional

What you are describing certainly makes a whole lot of sense; I can remember struggling through a shift and my team leader, a lass who knew about a recent family loss, asked me how I was doing. As I struggled to say that I was coping, she realised that perhaps I wasn't and left it at that for that moment and I was able to pull my thoughts together and carry on.

Perhaps, you could try writing a love letter to your wife; telling her just how it was for you, how much you miss her, and how you feel that there is no point in anything now. You will be able to cry, weep, and sob untill your reservoir of tears are spent. If you feel, that in any way, you had let her down you could also tell her that.


When you have completed your letter you can, if you wish, just burn it; or you can keep it in a safe place for later reference. A diary, in which you address her each day, may also help. Please don't forget that your family may also be struggling with their loss. Are there any grandchildren?

Chris

 

[Jameshenry]

my son works on the farm and lives across the yard with his family but to talk about it is too much I get too emotional

Although it's not easy talking about your loss, getting emotional isn't a show of weakness, i lost my mother just over a year ago, and my father still struggles to open up and let out his emotions, they were together for 54 years, and were rarely apart in all that time, although i'm sure your son would listen it's not always easy talking about it to your children, i've wrote down the samaritans telephone number for my dad, sometimes it's easier to talk to a complete stranger about these things,

 

[fiat100]

Don't really know where to begin. I'm 29 and had an accident about 2 months ago where I was crushed by a cow. Since that I have lost all my passion for milking cows and my anxiety, stress and depression levels have got too much that I can't Clear my head. Has anyone ever just lost the passion for farming or will it come back?