Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Fake it ‘til you make it]

I once read that some French bloke, Rene Descartes, wrote 'I think therefore I am' and Christians (and others) maintain that their scriptures say 'as a man/woman thinketh, then so is he/she'.

Based on the above quotes and considerable personal experience I can on only conclude that thinking and focusing on thoughts of frustration, anger, depression, and fear I can only anticipate the said emotions manifesting themselves in my daily living.

It all sounds very simple on paper but in practice 'perhaps' not quite so easy but it must be worth us trying to focus our thoughts on better emotions; success, hope, peace, contentment, joy, etc etc etc.

Perhaps we can hope for things as yet unseen!

We all have feelings, thoughts and behaviours, and they all interact with one another. The basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is that we don’t have to let our emotions dictate our thoughts and behaviours. One video I watched said that our mind (feelings and thoughts) isn’t always a good friend, and can be a bit of a bully.

It’s hard to get into the mindset of separating thoughts, emotions and behaviour when you are anxious and/ or depressed and you just “feel” low, tired, apathetic, hopeless, lacking agency, lost, etc. Sometimes medication helps people to get out of that “fog”. At the recommendation of my GP, I bought a book called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies, and it’s pretty good.

 

[Christoph1945]

We all have feelings, thoughts and behaviours, and they all interact with one another. The basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is that we don’t have to let our emotions dictate our thoughts and behaviours. One video I watched said that our mind (feelings and thoughts) isn’t always a good friend, and can be a bit of a bully.

It’s hard to get into the mindset of separating thoughts, emotions and behaviour when you are anxious and/ or depressed and you just “feel” low, tired, apathetic, hopeless, lacking agency, lost, etc. Sometimes medication helps people to get out of that “fog”. At the recommendation of my GP, I bought a book called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies, and it’s pretty good.

I very recently underwent eye surgery on my left eye and the nice lady surgeon removed the lens, along with what she called a wowser of a cataract, and fitted a new synthetic lens. As my eye has healed and I can see very clearly through it I am amazed at the clarity of the vision in the left eye and am equally amazed by the discolouration of my vision in the right eye,

Why on earth do I bother mentioning this again? Well, I have been thinking of how our mind's eye is often distorted by a vail, induced by past hurts, pains, and experiences, and it sometimes needs a skilled individual to help us lift, or remove that vail and allow us to see things more clearly.

I once entered into the world of anger, depression, anxiety, and total despair, sinking beyond the hope of any recovery but with the help and support of many willing and patient people came through but sustained something of a psychological limp for many years afterwards.

Oh my, oh my, oh my; if only I had known then what I know now, I could have saved an awful lot of heart ache for both my self and others.

I have learned to try and treat depression like quicksand and as soon as the ground beneath my feet starts to soften up I reassess the situation, my next step, and then back off and retrace my steps if need be.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies sounds interesting, I will pick up a copy ASAP; thanks for the heads up on that.

Chris

 

[Kiwi Pete]

We all have feelings, thoughts and behaviours, and they all interact with one another. The basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is that we don’t have to let our emotions dictate our thoughts and behaviours. One video I watched said that our mind (feelings and thoughts) isn’t always a good friend, and can be a bit of a bully.

It’s hard to get into the mindset of separating thoughts, emotions and behaviour when you are anxious and/ or depressed and you just “feel” low, tired, apathetic, hopeless, lacking agency, lost, etc. Sometimes medication helps people to get out of that “fog”. At the recommendation of my GP, I bought a book called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies, and it’s pretty good.

Yes, they all get neatly stacked together, don't they?
Saves us thinking, just like habits save us having to learn how to make toast and coffee every morning.

Sometimes even just learning a few distinctions can make a huge difference to perspective

 

[DrWazzock]

There is a certain amount we can do to alter our perception of things to stop them "eating us up from inside" as it were.
But stuff that I can't avoid such as unnecessary regulatory burdens really do bug me. They waste my time, stop me getting on with stuff that really does need doing and eat into my leisure time. Very difficult to alter your perception of that kind of stuff. Only way to avoid it is to stop certain enterprises etc but then you think why should I give up growing xyz just because some buracrat is imposing all this extra work on me. But then you think OK. sod it, I just won't bother with it any more and I will spend more time on my bike or in the greenhouse pottering. I'd say half the UK workforce over the age of 55 has gone that way.

 

[DrWazzock]

When I was younger I relished the challenge. Spreadsheets, folders, everything in order for inspections etc. Dunno what happens as you get older but motivation for unnecessary stuff slumps as you realise after 30 years that nobody ever once enquired to see those records for any real purpose.

 

[JeepJeep]

People will probably know better but I'll post it anyway.

The missus does a lot of Mental Health stuff through her work. She speaks highly of this.

Q well

 

[Canada Farmer]

When I was younger I relished the challenge. Spreadsheets, folders, everything in order for inspections etc. Dunno what happens as you get older but motivation for unnecessary stuff slumps as you realise after 30 years that nobody ever once enquired to see those records for any real purpose.

I often think of the hours wasted doing the irrelevant box ticking paperwork, the hundred if not thousands of hours over a life time then multiply by the other people within the industry and working within society and think.....
What a waste of time , energy and resources, and how did society fall into this trap of thinking that this from a "modern" society is even remotely acceptable?

 

[ollie989898]

In my latest instalment of fudged off Fridays I am sort of reaching the conclusion that my mental health won't withstand this fudging course. I don't know what it is here I am sat at week 10 and still don't feel 'comfortable' with any of it. I'm not getting any reward still and so my mental wellbeing just gets trashed and my motivation is taking a real nosedive as a result. I'm still caught at a crossroads and I feel the tide won't be long in coming in. Need a backup plan really. Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

 

[DrWazzock]

In my latest instalment of fudged off Fridays I am sort of reaching the conclusion that my mental health won't withstand this fudging course. I don't know what it is here I am sat at week 10 and still don't feel 'comfortable' with any of it. I'm not getting any reward still and so my mental wellbeing just gets trashed and my motivation is taking a real nosedive as a result. I'm still caught at a crossroads and I feel the tide won't be long in coming in. Need a backup plan really. Answers on a postcard to the usual address.

You are not alone. The only thing that gives me slight respite is breaking off from it for a bit and doing something different, simple and with an immediate reward. Mopped the kitchen floor just now as a break from RT mind numbing paperwork. I have to find and complete an online course for some NRoSO points later.
What course is it you are doing and where do you see it taking you in 12 months time? There is a pain barrier to be pushed through with everything but there is also a limit of effort versus reward that only you can judge really. A lot depends on what you are temperamentally suited to as well.

 

[Christoph1945]

You are not alone. The only thing that gives me slight respite is breaking off from it for a bit and doing something different, simple and with an immediate reward. Mopped the kitchen floor just now as a break from RT mind numbing paperwork. I have to find and complete an online course for some NRoSO points later.
What course is it you are doing and where do you see it taking you in 12 months time? There is a pain barrier to be pushed through with everything but there is also a limit of effort versus reward that only you can judge really. A lot depends on what you are temperamentally suited to as well.

What a superb way of looking at the problem; switching your focus allows your subconscious to be liberated to investigate things and come up with some of the most amazing solutions that all the struggling and mayhem couldn't.

Even whilst we sleep our subconscious is still working for us. The guy who worked out the ring structure of benzine and the chap who figured out the best design for a sewing machine needle did so in their sleep.

How come we can wake up, spot on time, without an alarm clock and also remember that name when we stop struggling to recall it?

Ideas, inventions, and solutions often surface when we relax and allow things to develop naturally.

 

[DrWazzock]

What a superb way of looking at the problem; switching your focus allows your subconscious to be liberated to investigate things and come up with some of the most amazing solutions that all the struggling and mayhem couldn't.

Even whilst we sleep our subconscious is still working for us. The guy who worked out the ring structure of benzine and the chap who figured out the best design for a sewing machine needle did so in their sleep.

How come we can wake up, spot on time, without an alarm clock and also remember that name when we stop struggling to recall it?

Ideas, inventions, and solutions often surface when we relax and allow things to develop naturally.

Now you mention it I believe the helix structure of DNA was discovered when the researcher went out to mow the lawn and noticed the helix configuration of the cylinder mower blades.

 

[Christoph1945]

Now you mention it I believe the helix structure of DNA was discovered when the researcher went out to mow the lawn and noticed the helix configuration of the cylinder mower blades.

I didn't know that, but there you go!

What next, for us good folk?

 

[Rossymons]

I didn't know that, but there you go!

What next, for us good folk?

What's next?

Funny you should ask!

It's been a couple weeks since I poured my heart out and decided to take a break from quite a lot actually. I can't believe how many pointless apps i've deleted on my phone that I was just consume like a drone for no purpose.

There have been 2 or 3 things happening in the background that are quite exciting but the big one has blown my socks off.

Our woods will be home to a male suicide prevention charity and host weekly sessions for those deemed at risk of suicide or self harm. Rather than traditional therapy or medication these young men will be doing bushcraft, planting trees, maintaining hedgerows and a host of other activities as well. Basically getting their hands dirty and distracting them. But it won't be stopping there. We're looking at rural retreats for those suffering from domestic abuse as well as children from broken homes spending the night in tents under the stars. It's basically a list as long as your arm of ideas that have come from this one meeting that occured -like many of the best things in life - by pure chance!

What should have been a cup of tea turned into 2 hours and done me the world of good just for the disucssion alone.

Absolutely buzzing we went for a big night out afterwards which was not a good idea but I still feel i'm in credit overall.

Exciting - it just feels nice to write that word again!

 

[Christoph1945]

Was it per chance, or was it really fated to happen?

As I wrote my earlier post my wife was on the house phone talking to her cousin and the phone was on speaker phone. As Margaret's cousin rolled on in the conversation it was almost as though she was quoting from my post and I signalled Margaret to hold up the conversation so I could reveal the absolute magic of the moment but was shushed and the moment passed but left me somewhat shaken; in the nicest possible way!

 

[Rossymons]

Was it per chance, or was it really fated to happen?

As I wrote my earlier post my wife was on the house phone talking to her cousin and the phone was on speaker phone. As Margaret's cousin rolled on in the conversation it was almost as though she was quoting from my post and I signalled Margaret to hold up the conversation so I could reveal the absolute magic of the moment but was shushed and the moment passed but left me somewhat shaken; in the nicest possible way!

My Father wasn't a religious man by any means but he was a believer in fate and things happen for a reason.

Its frightening to think back over the course of my life that have happened seemingly by chance.

 

[Christoph1945]

My Father wasn't a religious man by any means but he was a believer in fate and things happen for a reason.

Its frightening to think back over the course of my life that have happened seemingly by chance.

What was your father?

 

[Kiwi Pete]

What's next?

Funny you should ask!

It's been a couple weeks since I poured my heart out and decided to take a break from quite a lot actually. I can't believe how many pointless apps i've deleted on my phone that I was just consume like a drone for no purpose.

There have been 2 or 3 things happening in the background that are quite exciting but the big one has blown my socks off.

Our woods will be home to a male suicide prevention charity and host weekly sessions for those deemed at risk of suicide or self harm. Rather than traditional therapy or medication these young men will be doing bushcraft, planting trees, maintaining hedgerows and a host of other activities as well. Basically getting their hands dirty and distracting them. But it won't be stopping there. We're looking at rural retreats for those suffering from domestic abuse as well as children from broken homes spending the night in tents under the stars. It's basically a list as long as your arm of ideas that have come from this one meeting that occured -like many of the best things in life - by pure chance!

What should have been a cup of tea turned into 2 hours and done me the world of good just for the disucssion alone.

Absolutely buzzing we went for a big night out afterwards which was not a good idea but I still feel i'm in credit overall.

Exciting - it just feels nice to write that word again!

Wow! Talk about being touched, moved, inspired.... you hit the jackpot, Ross ❤

 

[FonterraFarmer]

Was it per chance, or was it really fated to happen?

As I wrote my earlier post my wife was on the house phone talking to her cousin and the phone was on speaker phone. As Margaret's cousin rolled on in the conversation it was almost as though she was quoting from my post and I signalled Margaret to hold up the conversation so I could reveal the absolute magic of the moment but was shushed and the moment passed but left me somewhat shaken; in the nicest possible way!

It gets quite spooky when other people unbeknown quote what you have said back to you or in my case where I have a book from a well known Canadian photographer where the preface was exactly the answer to the question I asked him when I was in his gallery in Banff, admittedly when we spoke I had no idea of who he was or how well known he is until I had returned home and had done a "Google search"!!!

 

[Rossymons]

What was your father?

My business partner, my mentor but most importantly he was my friend.

Too quick to shout at times but there was some wisdom in what he said when he whispered it.

 

[Rossymons]

Wow! Talk about being touched, moved, inspired.... you hit the jackpot, Ross ❤

I'm lucky to be playing a small in something that will genuinely change someone's life for the better.

Woodland planting days, wildflower identification, pond maintenance, "can we put an owl box over there, Ross?" its all very new and exciting.