Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Lofty1984]

Im just putting this here I’m not and have never suffered from depression thankfully.

A friend decided he’d had enough of living on the 23rd dec only a young chap in his 20’s well liked with lots of friends seeing the ripples from what he did has been hard.
my point is please talk to someone if your feeling low or entertain those thoughts

 

[Christoph1945]

Im just putting this here I’m not and have never suffered from depression thankfully.

A friend decided he’d had enough of living on the 23rd dec only a young chap in his 20’s well liked with lots of friends seeing the ripples from what he did has been hard.
my point is please talk to someone if your feeling low or entertain those thoughts

Sorry to hear about your friend and fully understand about the ripple effect from suicides; having lost a number of family and friends to the dark side but one doesn't have to be depressed or anxious to spend time in here.

Your input, understanding, and support will always be more than welcome here
and one day you will be amazed at changes that you will witness in others and also within your self; your sensitivity and understanding is far more valuable than gold!

Chris

PS ...... can you tell us a little about your friend? No names and no locations but perhaps a little of why your friend thought that he had enough of life and perhaps even how he ended his own?

 

[Christoph1945]

Was on a farm yesterday ,
the chap had converted an old barn , into a mens ? Man shed , Menssheds .org
place for retired men , bit like womens institute ,but for men ,
he said quite a few around country , people go , to have a natter etc ,
hada couple of guys who had worked for a company for all their life ,and retirement day comes , wtf am i going to do now ,
apparantly a big issue , with mental health and depression ,
think there is a lot more out there ,who carry a lot and say nowt
, need more discussion groups etc ,
folk dont go to market like they used to ,

Covid, alas, has diminished and removed many opportunities for socialising and interaction with others but TFF is one of the best thinktanks that I have ever had the opportunity to witness, or have the opportunity to share in.

It's a strange world; the faster we can traverse the globe the less time we have to stand and share and the more means we have for communication the less we actually communicate with each other.

Chris

 

[ollie989898]

Im just putting this here I’m not and have never suffered from depression thankfully.

A friend decided he’d had enough of living on the 23rd dec only a young chap in his 20’s well liked with lots of friends seeing the ripples from what he did has been hard.
my point is please talk to someone if your feeling low or entertain those thoughts

Very sorry to hear this. I know of three people in the 'local' network who have done the same. Easy to forget that for some people Christmas is not a happy time of year.

 

[JeepJeep]

The Happiest are often the saddest... I know 2 who used a Shotgun on School premises... One I was in school with and he was a happy and popular lad.

Doesn't change things...

You'll never know what's going on behind peoples eyes

 

[Lofty1984]

Sorry to hear about your friend and fully understand about the ripple effect from suicides; having lost a number of family and friends to the dark side but one doesn't have to be depressed or anxious to spend time in here.

Your input, understanding, and support will always be more than welcome here
and one day you will be amazed at changes that you will witness in others and also within your self; your sensitivity and understanding is far more valuable than gold!

Chris

PS ...... can you tell us a little about your friend? No names and no locations but perhaps a little of why your friend thought that he had enough of life and perhaps even how he ended his own?

I’m not too sure why tbh but it would seem it was a spur of the moment decision rather than carefully planned out I won’t go into more detail

 

[Lili]

I’m not too sure why tbh but it would seem it was a spur of the moment decision rather than carefully planned out I won’t go into more detail

Quite often there isn't an obvious "why?" Suicide leaves friends, family and acquaintances, confused, angry, guilty. Some people - who appear on the surface to be happy, fulfilled, sociable and fortunate individuals - can completely hide a desperate state of mental distress.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Quite often there isn't an obvious "why?" Suicide leaves friends, family and acquaintances, confused, angry, guilty. Some people - who appear on the surface to be happy, fulfilled, sociable and fortunate individuals - can completely hide a desperate state of mental distress.

Suicide is rarely a rational act so trying to understand it with a rational mindset is unlikely to work I suspect.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Sorry to hear about your friend and fully understand about the ripple effect from suicides; having lost a number of family and friends to the dark side but one doesn't have to be depressed or anxious to spend time in here.

Your input, understanding, and support will always be more than welcome here
and one day you will be amazed at changes that you will witness in others and also within your self; your sensitivity and understanding is far more valuable than gold!

Chris

PS ...... can you tell us a little about your friend? No names and no locations but perhaps a little of why your friend thought that he had enough of life and perhaps even how he ended his own?

We handle some very dark themes in this thread but it remains amongst the most valuable and positive social media threads I've ever come across......

 

[Mr Mackay]

The Happiest are often the saddest... I know 2 who used a Shotgun on School premises... One I was in school with and he was a happy and popular lad.

Doesn't change things...

You'll never know what's going on behind peoples eyes

You don't know do you.
I will never forget a farming friend who was the funniest person I had seen at times, but a deep thinker and unknown to me, quite troubled.
We were at a farmers group meeting and they were talking about buying maize seed and someone asked if we could buy it directly from France to get the best price.
Now there was a Welsh couple in their late 40's and it wouldn't be unfair to say they looked like they may have been Methodists, and my friend piped up during a lull in the discussions with the maize seed to say he had been to a gathering for a French company talking all about maize.
He very deftly described this raven haired beauty taking the meeting, and sounded very smitten with her as he described her to a tee without being any way leery ( he was a handsome chap himself too)
He then added 'But the only trouble was she kept saying shaggers shaggers' and it took him a second to realise that shaggers was sugars !!
We all dissolved in gales of laughter except for the Welsh lady who had a face like the Auntie in Blackadder with the turnip
Very sadly missed he is and this was many yrs ago.
Please talk things out with others

 

[ski]

Has this been posted before?, it's the sentiment not the detail. Sons pal, about 22, you know the rest.

His cattle didn’t get a bid, they were fairly bloody poor,
What was he going to do? He couldn’t feed them anymore,
The dams were all but dry, hay was thirteen bucks a bale,
Last month’s talk of rain was just a fairytale,
His credit had run out, no chance to pay what’s owed,
Bad thoughts ran through his head as he drove down Gully Road.

“Geez, great grandad bought the place back in 1898,
“Now I’m such a useless barsteward, I’ll have to shut the gate.
“Can’t support my wife and kids, not like dad and those before,
“Crikey, Grandma kept it going while Pop fought in the war.”
With depression now his master, he abandoned what was right,
There’s no place in life for failures, he’d end it all tonight.

There were still some things to do, he’d have to shoot the cattle first,
Of all the jobs he’d ever done, that would be the worst.
He’d have a shower, watch the news, then they’d all sit down for tea
Read his kids a bedtime story, watch some more TV,
Kiss his wife goodnight, say he was off to shoot some roos
Then in a paddock far away he’d blow away the blues.

But he drove in the gate and stopped – as he always had
To check the roadside mailbox – and found a letter from his Dad.
Now his dad was not a writer, Mum did all the cards and mail
But he knew the writing from the notebooks that he’d kept from cattle sales,
He sensed the nature of its contents, felt moisture in his eyes,
Just the fact his dad had written was enough to make him cry.

“Son, I know it’s bloody tough, it’s a cruel and twisted game,
“This life upon the land when you’re screaming out for rain,
“There’s no candle in the darkness, not a single speck of light
“But don’t let the demon get you, you have to do what’s right,
“I don’t know what’s in your head but push the bad thoughts well away
“See, you’ll always have your family at the back end of the day

“You have to talk to someone, and yes I know I rarely did
“But you have to think about Fiona and think about the kids.
“I’m worried about you son, you haven’t rung for quite a while,
“I know the road you’re on ‘cause I’ve walked every bloody mile.
“The date? December 7 back in 1983,
“Behind the shed I had the shotgun rested in the brigalow tree.

“See, I’d borrowed way too much to buy the Johnson place
“Then it didn’t rain for years and we got bombed by interest rates,
“The bank was at the door, I didn’t think I had a choice,
“I began to squeeze the trigger – that’s when I heard your voice.
“You said ‘Where are you Daddy? It’s time to play our game’
“’ I’ve got Squatter all set up, we might get General Rain.’

“It really was that close, you’re the one that stopped me son,
“And you’re the one that taught me there’s no answer in a gun.
“Just remember people love you, good friends won’t let you down.
“Look, you might have to swallow pride and take that job in town,
“Just ’til things come good, son, you’ve always got a choice
“And when you get this letter ring me, ’cause I’d love to hear your voice.”

Well he cried and laughed and shook his head then put the truck in gear,
Shut his eyes and hugged his dad in a vision that was clear,
Dropped the cattle at the yards, put the truck away
Filled the troughs the best he could and fed his last ten bales of hay.
Then he strode towards the homestead, shoulders back and head held high,
He still knew the road was tough but there was purpose in his eye.

He called his wife and children, who’d lived through all his pain,
Hugs said more than words – he’d come back to them again,
They talked of silver linings, how good times always follow bad,
Then he walked towards the phone, picked it up and rang his Dad.
And while the kids set up the Squatter, he hugged his wife again,
Then they heard the roll of thunder and they smelt the smell of rain.

 

[Chae1]

Im just putting this here I’m not and have never suffered from depression thankfully.

A friend decided he’d had enough of living on the 23rd dec only a young chap in his 20’s well liked with lots of friends seeing the ripples from what he did has been hard.
my point is please talk to someone if your feeling low or entertain those thoughts

I'm amazed and delighted you've never suffered from depression.

I think everyone I know has suffered some form of mental health problems. We don't directly talk about it, perhaps I'm wrong in assuming that they have.

I just try and let them know I'm there for them. Again I never say it directly.

Again what is actual depression? Is it just having a bad few days? Does anyone know when it changes from feeling down to actually being depressed.

As in Ski's post above the smallest thing can switch you from feeling at the bottom to the top. It's like someone's flicked a switch, sometimes can't even identify what has caused the fog to lift. Well it is in my case anyway.

 

[ski]

I'm amazed and delighted you've never suffered from depression.

I think everyone I know has suffered some form of mental health problems. We don't directly talk about it, perhaps I'm wrong in assuming that they have.

I just try and let them know I'm there for them. Again I never say it directly.

Again what is actual depression? Is it just having a bad few days? Does anyone know when it changes from feeling down to actually being depressed.

As in Ski's post above the smallest thing can switch you from feeling at the bottom to the top. It's like someone's flicked a switch, sometimes can't even identify what has caused the fog to lift. Well it is in my case anyway.

Yes I'm with you on this. We all know that life is a roller coaster of ups and downs, but for some, for reasons we don't always understand or acknowledge, seem to feel those waves more acutely. I fear for many younger souls that they have been sold a false prospectus that life should provided what they wish for rather than being taught to accept the ups and downs which I fear makes it much harder for those souls who already are predisposed to the feelings of elation and despair to cope.

 

[Christoph1945]

Fear, anger, guilt, anxiety, and depression are strange bed fellows and can be intricately interlinked by various bonds and ratios but when one person commits suicide the act, as has already been said, sets up ripples in the greater community.

For some the ripples will be quite inconsequential but for others the 'ripples' will be like multiple tidal waves sweeping through their life and their very being, taking with them all hope of peace, joy and happiness but through sharing inner hurts, pains and grief, healing and peace can be found for those left behind.

Apparently, the manner of suicide reportage in the media can induce more suicidal acts within the general community.

Someone once said that a trouble shared is a trouble halved and I truly believe that to be the case. But whom are we to trust with all those deep troubling thoughts and anxieties?
A close and trusted friend, your GP, your partner, your local priest, the Samaritans, your dog, and even the coos in the milking parlour but Gawd's sake and the sake of your family and friends please share and take the first steps into a brighter future. But don't forget that balanced diet and regular exercised can be as good as medication but medical advice and medication should not be dismissed out of hand and where medication is being taken one shouldn't stop taking it without consultation with a medic.

 

[Lofty1984]

Fear, anger, guilt, anxiety, and depression are strange bed fellows and can be intricately interlinked by various bonds and ratios but when one person commits suicide the act, as has already been said, sets up ripples in the greater community.

For some the ripples will be quite inconsequential but for others the 'ripples' will be like multiple tidal waves sweeping through their life and their very being, taking with them all hope of peace, joy and happiness but through sharing inner hurts, pains and grief, healing and peace can be found for those left behind.

Apparently, the manner of suicide reportage in the media can induce more suicidal acts within the general community.

Someone once said that a trouble shared is a trouble halved and I truly believe that to be the case. But whom are we to trust with all those deep troubling thoughts and anxieties?
A close and trusted friend, your GP, your partner, your local priest, the Samaritans, your dog, and even the coos in the milking parlour but Gawd's sake and the sake of your family and friends please share and take the first steps into a brighter future. But don't forget that balanced diet and regular exercised can be as good as medication but medical advice and medication should not be dismissed out of hand and where medication is being taken one shouldn't stop taking it without consultation with a medic.

What you say about the manner of reporting could well be true I know a good few years ago now there was a bad run of suicides all by the same method in a fairly small area not too far from here seem to recall all young men

 

[Christoph1945]

What you say about the manner of reporting could well be true I know a good few years ago now there was a bad run of suicides all by the same method in a fairly small area not too far from here seem to recall all young men

When I read your first post in here this week my mind was drawn to a number of, as yet explained, suicides in Cardiff. I seam to recall that those suicides were mostly students but can't remember if they were predominantly male or female. Can you recall any of the facts and details?

 

[teslacoils]

Some people are just sad all the time. It's our default setting. Underneath many a smiling face is a tortured soul.

Last few days I've been a hive of energy, getting stuck into new year's stuff. Today, after a long night, I've been back in bed since 9am. I'm cold. That cold to the bone where you can't get warm.

Being happy is just so exhausting. I'm hoping a sausage sandwich will help. At least the covid seems to be retreating, and hot sunny holidays beckon.

 

[teslacoils]

In good news, I am starting a little job next week. One morning a week to begin. But just the structure of having to be somewhere, at some time, be told what to do, do it, and get paid money after tax into the bank will be a revelation compared to self employment.

 

[Lofty1984]

When I read your first post in here this week my mind was drawn to a number of, as yet explained, suicides in Cardiff. I seam to recall that those suicides were mostly students but can't remember if they were predominantly male or female. Can you recall any of the facts and details?

The ones I remember all Seemed to be around the bridged area mostly teenagers if my memory is right

 

[Bury the Trash]

Some people are just sad all the time. It's our default setting. Underneath many a smiling face is a tortured soul.

Last few days I've been a hive of energy, getting stuck into new year's stuff. Today, after a long night, I've been back in bed since 9am. I'm cold. That cold to the bone where you can't get warm.

Being happy is just so exhausting. I'm hoping a sausage sandwich will help. At least the covid seems to be retreating, and hot sunny holidays beckon.

A sausage sandwich wont do any harm