Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[DrWazzock]

We were the same with dad, in the latter stages when cancer had spread to his whole body and clearly he hadn't got long we were offered a McMillan nurse, I'm sorry to say he had a lot more care and compassion from the local district nurses than from McM so much so that my mum refused to give them a donation when he died and made sure the funeral donations all went to the nurses who actually cared for him

It certainly was an eye opener to us as to the vision we had of McM and the reality on the ground

The best end of life carer we had for dad was a bloke provided by an agency. He was a doctors son who had tried to qualify himself but had failed so he went into nursing. He did a fantastic job and you could tell he really cared. The rest struggled quite frankly and were only doing it for the money.

 

[onthehoof]

I think the publics vision of McMillan is that they take over the cancer treatment but in reality they are only councellors

 

[DrWazzock]

I think the publics vision of McMillan is that they take over the cancer treatment but in reality they are only councellors

“Bystanders” would be a better description in our experience.
Pain relief and making sure you are on the right course of cancer treatment is really all there is to it.
I really don’t rate counselling. We have all heard it a thousand times. Chin up, stay positive and all that. All very well, but let’s also make sure we are doing all we can to solve the fundamental problems. Early diagnosis. Pain relief. The right treatment on time. The right end of life pain relief.
For me, counselling is a sort of sticking plaster for a system that hadn’t got the fundamentals right. Could probably apply to many issues in life now I think about it.

 

[wrenbird]

We are constantly told the NHS is the best in the world, it isn’t, it doesn’t even come close to second best. There are good people working within it, but everyone, including me, has a story to tell of incompetence or mistakes or just downright, don’t care laziness.
The entire system is bureaucratic, broken and not fit for purpose.

 

[cows sh#t me to tears]

Dr, Sorry to hear how shìťťy things are going with her treatment. That in itself must be making the whole thing so much worse for her.
As for the services, I must say I'd find it hard to "care" for every patient. I know it's no comfort to you but it must be hard mentally for the ones that do show compassion to deal with bad outcomes.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

I hate to be cynical but sometimes there's more money in treating something rather than curing it !

The corporate takeover of health - the american model.

T2 diabetes is a classic example. It has been thoroughly proven that around 80% of sufferers can totally reverse the condition with a very low carbohydrate diet. That information is actively being suppressed by the huge industry built up around "caring" for diabetics though, a multi £Bn business.

The same for CHD and Statins.

 

[Christoph1945]

I can remember when cancer and depression were almost like unto dirty words and if referred to at all Cancer was spoken of as Big C. It almost seamed as though cancer was some form of curse for our wicked ways and to admit that we had it was somehow admitting to our wickedness.

As for depression, it was self inflicted and you should just pull your self together; or you got what you deserved get on with it!

As a believer in the divine and the possibilities of spiritual healings I often have a chuckle to my self and think ..... 'if there was an outbreak of divine healing across the country there would be an awful lot of people unemployed and profiteers out of pocket'.

Mind you, religion can be quite a profitable business!

 

[DrWazzock]

I can remember when cancer and depression were almost like unto dirty words and if referred to at all Cancer was spoken of as Big C. It almost seamed as though cancer was some form of curse for our wicked ways and to admit that we had it was somehow admitting to our wickedness.

As for depression, it was self inflicted and you should just pull your self together; or you got what you deserved get on with it!

As a believer in the divine and the possibilities of spiritual healings I often have a chuckle to my self and think ..... 'if there was an outbreak of divine healing across the country there would be an awful lot of people unemployed and profiteers out of pocket'.

Mind you, religion can be quite a profitable business!

We went into the Cathedral today.
I'm not terribly religious but I believe in something more than raw logic.
We lit a candle.
I said a prayer in my mind, secretly.
She probably did too.
Now I know one thing.
This might beat us bodily.
But it will never beat us spiritually.

 

[primmiemoo]

Amen to that, @DrWazzock .

 

[Rossymons]

We went into the Cathedral today.
I'm not terribly religious but I believe in something more than raw logic.
We lit a candle.
I said a prayer in my mind, secretly.
She probably did too.
Now I know one thing.
This might beat us bodily.
But it will never beat us spiritually.

Dad died of cancer and we often discussed what was worse - him suffering or us watching.

Sadly I knew he wasn't going to make it as well. As much as it's unfair and still upsets me to this day I cant change it. It's very difficult at times to look back at certain things and look forward to new things and not get upset, angry and emotional because he should be here too.

Sadly I cant offer any advice or wave a magic wand. It's just the hard yards that have to be walked one step at a time. But the space between the steps does shorten.

 

[DrWazzock]

Welcome back God.
Christ, I've missed you.

 

[Lili]

Welcome back God.
Christ, I've missed you.

I hope you find the strength and comfort you need.

 

[Rossymons]

I remember speaking to God once.

Some gallows humour coming up...

It was late one evening. When Dad was diagnosed I had just split up with my then girlfriend so decided that now would be the time to topup my HND to a Degree. It was an hour each way to Duchy and back so I was running late. I was stressed to hell, 7PM And I hadn't started evening milking.

I sat down, swept a tear from my eye and asked God that if he is there and can hear me then nows the time to help me out. Please, help me.

What happened?

Scraper tractor died and the slurry pit started leaking!

For fuc....

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

I remember speaking to God once.

Some gallows humour coming up...

It was late one evening. When Dad was diagnosed I had just split up with my then girlfriend so decided that now would be the time to topup my HND to a Degree. It was an hour each way to Duchy and back so I was running late. I was stressed to hell, 7PM And I hadn't started evening milking.

I sat down, swept a tear from my eye and asked God that if he is there and can hear me then nows the time to help me out. Please, help me.

What happened?

Scraper tractor died and the slurry pit started leaking!

For fuc....

Brings to mind the bit of the film "Evan Almighty" where God (played by Morgan Freeman) talking about how God responds to calls for help:

 

[Landrover]

We went into the Cathedral today.
I'm not terribly religious but I believe in something more than raw logic.
We lit a candle.
I said a prayer in my mind, secretly.
She probably did too.
Now I know one thing.
This might beat us bodily.
But it will never beat us spiritually.

That's brought a tear to my eye

 

[DrWazzock]

Yes we went into the Cathedral as lapsed Christians feeling crap.
We lit a candle, said a prayer and came out feeling invincible.
It was overwhelming.
And a huge relief.
I can't explain it but that's how it was.

 

[Christoph1945]

Anyone ever watch judge Judy on tv? Time and again Judy stops witnesses in mid sentence and says that they can not tell her what someone said because that is hearsay and not admissible in court.

I can only tell you what I have seen in answer to prayer.

There was a time when the only bible we had in the house was an old King James translation and it was somewhat difficult for me to read and follow the old fashioned wording.

We were on our way to spend a day at Chester Zoo and called at a major shopping centre to pick up some provisions. Whilst my wife and our two kids hot footed it to the shops; accompanied by my in-laws, I popped into Menzies for a little something to read. Perusing the religious section I spotted a number of bibles and one, a paperback edition recommended by Billy Graham and Cliff Richards as being in modern English caught my attention and costing only one pound it was a comparative snip at twice the price!

As I re-joined the family my wife spotted the Menzies plastic bag in my hand and boldly asked .... 'Have You Been Buying Books Again'?

Well yes but it's a bible.

And how much did it cost?

It only cost one pound.

I don't care; that pound could have been used to buy ice-creams for the kids!

After several attempts to justify my purchase I gave up and turned to God in my mind and said that He could surely see the sincerity of my purchase and I was going to stop trying to justify my buying of the bible to my wife and leave the matter with him and we continued our journey to the zoo, with my wife continuing to berate me.

As we all entered the zoo and walked towards the flower beds ( with no one else nearby ) a pound note came blowing on the wind and landed at my feet. Of course, I quickly picked up the pound and handed it to my wife, saying ...... here is the pound love.

 

[wrenbird]

Praying is something we all do, even if we don’t admit it. Whether we are a believer of one faith, agnostic, or even a diehard atheist, at times of stress and anxiety we all offer up those inner thoughts that implore some being we would profess to not even believe in if challenged, to listen to and act on.
I think that to save our time, and Gods, that should be just one universal prayer. It covers pretty much every situation, good, bad and downright ugly, it is a plea that that is concise and to the point. It is that old-fashioned oath, “God give me strength!”.

 

[Wombat]

Sorry to hear of everyone else’s trouble,

I am feeling much better overall, finally got to see the cardiologist with my Paroxysmal atrial fibrillation which maybe a symptom of stress and they finally managed to get recorded on a wearable logger.
He had asked the GP to provide some medication to help control it back in March but I had heard nothing so he is going to give them in the arse this week.

Just to add I finally saw some colleagues I work with for the first time in over 2 yrs so I am sure that helps as things get back to normal

 

[Christoph1945]

Just to add I finally saw some colleagues I work with for the first time in over 2 yrs so I am sure that helps as things get back to normal

Pleased to hear your good news and look forward to reading more about your progress.

The Grim Reaper has been quite busy around here and since December has take three close friends and when I received a pension's news letter last month I learned that seven of my old work mates had all passed on but as I read their names amongst a long list of employees that were no longer with us I wasn't depressed but was filled with fond memories of seventeen years working in the same team together.