Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Christoph1945]

I had believed, perhaps wrongly, that the person was a Persian Muslim whose mother tongue was Farsi. The link that he posted had IR as it's subscript and that denotes Iran.

Did the person leave of their own accord, or did the mods remove them?

Puzzled...…………….Chris

 

[jade35]

I've been a couple of times, just get fobbed off with "you have two young children, it's expected" but let's do a blood test and never tell you the results just to keep you happy.

@Dangerous Dan have just caught up with this thread and saw your post. Ask for your blood test results if you want to know what they are testing for. You are entitled to a copy of any blood tests taken.

There is a recommendation on the 'Health Unlocked' forums that you also need to test essential vitamins and minerals because they have an important part to play in how you feel ie from the Health Unlocked website I found this comment.

"GP should test B12, Vit D, iron, ferritin and folate. Everything has to be optimal."


I have also found this thread that mentions in more detail what the various levels should be. This is from the Thyroid section so references thyroid medicines etc. but would appear to be applicable to everyone else as well. Iirc there is also a recommendation that selenium is an important mineral within the diet and a lot of people are deficient.

https://healthunlocked.com/thyroiduk/posts/136885493/vitamin-and-mineral-levels

The only caveat I will add is that the reply is from a member who has given the detailed information re vit/min levels (which are all fully referenced) but she is not a medical practitioner.

 

[glow worm]

Farming can be such a very lonely occupation at times and that sounds so daft even to my ears. Surrounded by livestock, with an OH, umpteen forms / regulations / inspections etc to deal with but its still possible to get right down in the dumps for no real reason, especially when reading of everybody else's sorrows and issues, and knowing how lucky I am. I'm catching up with long overdue records for cows long dead and somehow all the memories of how and why they died have just got to me this am. So much heartache at the time. So much for being a hard nosed farmer! So many people I mix with have no connection with farming and no understanding at all of all our lives. TFF is a wonderful resource where you can 'chat' with like minded people, more or less anonymously, something impossible on any other social media. So this is really just to say thanks everyone for 'being there'. I think you all help more than you know, with people ''on the side' without necessarily joining in. So, my usual little reminder I post every whip and trip... If you know anyone that was bereaved or suffered family trauma 6 months ago .. NOW is the time to get in touch with them to offer friendship.. now that all the people who helped them initially have moved on with their lives.

 

[Christoph1945]

Well said Glow worm.

 

[Lili]

Simply asking 'how's things' might be the one bright spot in someone's dreary day.

 

[primmiemoo]

Spot on glow worm.

I remember my Mum and her mother comparing notes on widowhood. Gran was widowed four years after her daughter, so it would have been around three years after Grandpa died.
They were both very saddened by the way so many people who'd been to the funerals had dropped them so rapidly.

 

[glow worm]

Spot on glow worm.

I remember my Mum and er mother comparing notes on widowhood. Gran was widowed four years after her daughter, so it would have been around three years after Grandpa died.
They were both very saddened by the way so many people who'd been to the funerals had dropped them so rapidly.

I remember a good friend telling me after her husband died that her best freinds would stop Inviting her to their homes as they would see her as a ' threat' ..single, available, good looking. At the time I didnt believe her, but she was right and they did. She certainly needed the 6 month visit. Maybe some people just cant find the words to say so take the easy way out . Avoidance. Sad.

 

[primmiemoo]

I remember a good friend telling me after her husband died that her best freinds would stop Inviting her to their homes as they would see her as a ' threat' ..single, available, good looking. At the time I didnt believe her, but she was right and they did. She certainly needed the 6 month visit. Maybe some people just cant find the words to say so take the easy way out . Avoidance. Sad.

It was always special to Mum when people were neighbourly to her, when she didn't have to keep making the first move. There are local cultures where the bereaved are actively included, but she didn't live within one.

A couple of parishes away, and such exclusion would have been unthinkable at the time. So much depends on the local culture, and having people within it with the capacity to carry out duties of pastoral care - the secular included.

 

[Jameshenry]

Not sure this is the right place to post this but, i'm really worried that my daughter has an alcohol problem, it's worrying me sick and i'm not sure how to deal with it ! She seems to me to be going off the rails

 

[Lili]

How old is she?

 

[Jameshenry]

How old is she?

20

 

[BobGreen]

I have children similar age but both boys
Things have changed so much since I was that age. Then it was bitter or cider now they all seem to be on vodka or those shots
It is worrying

 

[Christoph1945]

Very often folks try to use alcohol to sedate the pain of a broken heart; not necessarily one broken by the termination of a relationship but perhaps the loss of a desired hope, or even the pain that can be caused by abuse. The loss of a loved one to death can also trigger the need to assuage those inner pains that so many humans suffer from.

Is she still living at home and is she working? Single, married? Can you remember when her problem drinking first became noticeable to you?

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Huge sympathy from here. Alcohol is often used by people to numb feelings but it never truly helps.

Support her all you can in working things out for herself.

 

[CornishRanger]

Not sure this is the right place to post this but, i'm really worried that my daughter has an alcohol problem, it's worrying me sick and i'm not sure how to deal with it ! She seems to me to be going off the rails

As good a place as any to ask! I'd guess there as many causes as there are drinkers! Does she still live with you? Does she drink at home/alone, or is it social drinking to excess? Have you spoken to her about it?

 

[Jameshenry]

As good a place as any to ask! I'd guess there as many causes as there are drinkers! Does she still live with you? Does she drink at home/alone, or is it social drinking to excess? Have you spoken to her about it?

She still lives at home, but works night shifts on occasions and stays with friends or her mother at times, so i don't see a lot of her, it's mainly social drinking to excess i think, i've spoken to her about it but she doesn't seem to listen to what i say, she has always been a kind hearted young woman, and always willing to help me out when needed with lambing and general work, i don't want to admit it to myself but i can see a change in her, she's not as happy as she used to be, and i don't know the reason why

 

[Lili]

Are you able to discuss it with her mother?

 

[CornishRanger]

As others have suggested it is possibly that the drinking is a symptom rather than the cause if you feel she is no longer "herself". Have you asked her if everything is alright explaining how you feel she seems unhappy, without mentioning the drinking? I'm sure you've thought of it/tried it already but from what you have said I think the most important thing at the minute is you need her to know your in her corner

 

[Jameshenry]

Are you able to discuss it with her mother?

Yes we have discussed it together and are both on the same wavelength so that is something

 

[Werzle]

I wouldnt worry unless she starts opening a bottle for breakfast, 20 yr olds drinking abit heavy is a right of passage