Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

DrWazzock

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lincolnshire
Way too many farmers (my father being a clear case) have zero interests outside farming and no plan for when farming stops. This causes huge mental health issues.

While you are on it farming is like a treadmill. Being weather dependent it's difficult to make plans or attend regular meetings typical of clubs and societies. I can almost guarantee that if I reserve a date in my diary for some event, then the weather will come good for some field work.
I harvested beet everyday from Christmas right through the new year holiday as the land dried just enough to travel. Then it got too wet again. In some ways it felt like an achievement to kept up my deliveries by the skin of my teeth. In other ways it's depressing how much it rules your life. Many times there have been such situations where the business hung in the balance over succeeding or failing to do or repair something in a very tight timescale. And the busuness includes the house. It can be very wearing if you think about too much or let it grind you down. I try not to.
 

som farmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
somerset
back along, I said its good to talk, or even use this forum, or similar, to ease tensions, I would like to add to that, I have been getting lots of likes to my posts, which, in my mind, proves that I do actually know things, and that other people like some of my thoughts, I am worth something, this is brought on by being awarded another 20 points, and it has really been quite a plus for my self confidence, so, if your feeling a bit iffy, get on and post a thread or two, get a few replies, and likes, it is quite reassuring ! Mind you, some threads don't attract any attention!
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to carry on with farming that much longer I don't think. I can't hack this life I have now. My brother he works on farm, both do, but their timings are all off even tho we have tried and tried to get them to do what needs to be done at the times we need and because they aren't doing it at the times needed, but later, it's impacting my life. Right now I'm lucky if I get 5 hrs of sleep in a night. I have little to no energy to do anything. I have parlours to clean, animals to feed up and water and clean out and I can barely fit it all in which means I can't give the animals the love that they need. The animals are doing fine, but I am not. I used to enjoy doing my job, I used to love it. Now I am starting to really despise my job and resent my family. They're clearly not willing to change, my brothers at least, I don't want to be under this stress and pressure all the time, so as much as I used to adore my job I can't stomach it anymore so I think for the future farming isn't for me.
Sorry for the long rant/post guys, I have come to the end of my tether with everything :'(
 

marshfarmer

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Norfolk
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to carry on with farming that much longer I don't think. I can't hack this life I have now. My brother he works on farm, both do, but their timings are all off even tho we have tried and tried to get them to do what needs to be done at the times we need and because they aren't doing it at the times needed, but later, it's impacting my life. Right now I'm lucky if I get 5 hrs of sleep in a night. I have little to no energy to do anything. I have parlours to clean, animals to feed up and water and clean out and I can barely fit it all in which means I can't give the animals the love that they need. The animals are doing fine, but I am not. I used to enjoy doing my job, I used to love it. Now I am starting to really despise my job and resent my family. They're clearly not willing to change, my brothers at least, I don't want to be under this stress and pressure all the time, so as much as I used to adore my job I can't stomach it anymore so I think for the future farming isn't for me.
Sorry for the long rant/post guys, I have come to the end of my tether with everything :'(
Sorry to hear this. It's a reality difficult time of year. Spring is not quite just round the corner yet, and things may seem easier then with longer days and some sun on our backs. Nothing is easy when your heart isn't in it, but you may feel totally different in a few months. Chin up.
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
Sorry to hear this. It's a reality difficult time of year. Spring is not quite just round the corner yet, and things may seem easier then with longer days and some sun on our backs. Nothing is easy when your heart isn't in it, but you may feel totally different in a few months. Chin up.
I might, tbh it's something I have been mulling over for a while. If we had a better farm with better facilities than we have then sure, it would feel better. We'll see what summer brings anyway I guess. Parents always say we have to work we with what we have, which I guess is true, but it's so frustrating. I'm thinking at some point I may just move abroad and farm elsewhere or even just do another job entirely. But there's this innate fear of disappointing people, in my head, ik my parents would be really disappointed in me if I didn't take over the farm or the business, but if its not what I want then I shouldn't be doing it. You have to want something to truly give it your all.
 

Blaithin

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Alberta
You see I was in the under the belief that the reason I eat and eat carbs and still feel hungry was down to my carb addiction. Now I’m beginning to wonder....
Carbs also don’t tend to provide lasting fullness. So you’re hungry again sooner. Put fat and protien in your belly and you’ll stay feeling satiated longer.

Read up on anyone who does fasting and a lot of them eat high meat diets which makes fasting easier. They aren’t hungry as often.
 

Crofter64

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Quebec, Canada
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to carry on with farming that much longer I don't think. I can't hack this life I have now. My brother he works on farm, both do, but their timings are all off even tho we have tried and tried to get them to do what needs to be done at the times we need and because they aren't doing it at the times needed, but later, it's impacting my life. Right now I'm lucky if I get 5 hrs of sleep in a night. I have little to no energy to do anything. I have parlours to clean, animals to feed up and water and clean out and I can barely fit it all in which means I can't give the animals the love that they need. The animals are doing fine, but I am not. I used to enjoy doing my job, I used to love it. Now I am starting to really despise my job and resent my family. They're clearly not willing to change, my brothers at least, I don't want to be under this stress and pressure all the time, so as much as I used to adore my job I can't stomach it anymore so I think for the future farming isn't for me.
Sorry for the long rant/post guys, I have come to the end of my tether with everything :'(
This is from : On Pasture
Loading Day – Goodbye to 2019
By Troy Bishopp / December 23, 2019 / 8 Comments

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Loaded-out-all-alone.jpg

Here I am; pasture empty, pants dotted with cow manure and a hoof imprint on my calf, standing in an empty pen wondering about my life’s effort as a grass farmer nourishing the land and people. My work seems to be under attack from contributing to climate change to animal welfare issues. It’s an emotional time pondering whether there is a genuine appreciation for the hours of work caring for animals that will someday provide organic milk or grass-fed beef to families.
Loading out is an agricultural term used to describe moving whole sets of animals to another location or to a processing facility. For over 30 years working as a custom grazier, I have nurtured countless generations of cows on pristine pastures giving them the best life possible while also making personal sacrifices for them. I’ve also worked with many families to provide a service in which they can prosper too.
For me, there is symbolism in load-out day that gives me pause to look at the bigger picture of life as the truck rolls out of site. How will my holistic work be perceived? How many more load-outs do I have left? What will be my legacy? I wonder how Mother Nature will perceive my stewardship; for someday I will be loaded out, returned to the earth and put to rest in green pastures.
I wanna know it matters. I gotta believe it matters what I do and that my community cares what myself and farmers do 24/7. I/we owe these animals a tremendous amount of respect and sheer gratitude for turning sunshine, soil, water and grass into milk and meat to feed hungry microbes and a planet.
This year’s load-out seems especially poignant as I am the “walking wounded” and continue to be haunted by my brother’s untimely death even though it was 2 years ago. On these types of days, I contemplate the future. Should I just quit or should I persevere? I dislike the vulnerability of being weak but I’m at a low point. Then I think of my brother who never quit, I think of my great grandparents, grandparents, parents, wife, children and grandchildren who all grew up in the farming life and I think how much I’ve done to improve our sacred land.
As I dismantle the portable catch pen once again, it reminds me of resilience with the ability to recover, change and keep moving forward despite the physical and emotional obstacles. I still believe in the future of agriculture, with a faith born not of words but of deeds.
 

DrWazzock

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lincolnshire
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to carry on with farming that much longer I don't think. I can't hack this life I have now. My brother he works on farm, both do, but their timings are all off even tho we have tried and tried to get them to do what needs to be done at the times we need and because they aren't doing it at the times needed, but later, it's impacting my life. Right now I'm lucky if I get 5 hrs of sleep in a night. I have little to no energy to do anything. I have parlours to clean, animals to feed up and water and clean out and I can barely fit it all in which means I can't give the animals the love that they need. The animals are doing fine, but I am not. I used to enjoy doing my job, I used to love it. Now I am starting to really despise my job and resent my family. They're clearly not willing to change, my brothers at least, I don't want to be under this stress and pressure all the time, so as much as I used to adore my job I can't stomach it anymore so I think for the future farming isn't for me.
Sorry for the long rant/post guys, I have come to the end of my tether with everything :'(

....said just about everybody involved in a family farming business after a bad spell of weather at this time of year.
You are not alone and you are not wrong.
If I knew the answers I would be able to decide what to do here, but I don't so for the moment we bumble on hoping that the the return of Spring will ease the job.
Best wishes.
 

DrWazzock

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lincolnshire
Carbs also don’t tend to provide lasting fullness. So you’re hungry again sooner. Put fat and protien in your belly and you’ll stay feeling satiated longer.

Read up on anyone who does fasting and a lot of them eat high meat diets which makes fasting easier. They aren’t hungry as often.

It was no accident that the traditional Lincolnshire "lunch" at 9.00 am evolved to become fat bacon and pickles in the days when there was more manual labouring. They weren't eating toast and breakfast cereals. (The amount of potassium nitrate they consumed with it did cause some problems but only in old age.)
I suppose we moved over to carbs for breakfast in the 1970's when all the scares about cholesterol came to the fore and ended up with a cereals and toast breakfast.
After Christmas we had some liver pate leftover as some of the visitors turned their noses up, so I spread it thickly on my toast at breakfast time for a week or so. It was like rocket fuel. Didn't feel hungry all day. Lots of long lasting energy.
Carbs for a short lived burst. Meat for long lasting energy.
 

Greenbeast

Member
Location
East Sussex
....said just about everybody involved in a family farming business after a bad spell of weather at this time of year.
You are not alone and you are not wrong.
If I knew the answers I would be able to decide what to do here, but I don't so for the moment we bumble on hoping that the the return of Spring will ease the job.
Best wishes.

Yeah I was going to reply to her and say, I'm not far off that feeling myself right
 

Turkish_FR

Member
Mixed Farmer
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to carry on with farming that much longer I don't think. I can't hack this life I have now. My brother he works on farm, both do, but their timings are all off even tho we have tried and tried to get them to do what needs to be done at the times we need and because they aren't doing it at the times needed, but later, it's impacting my life. Right now I'm lucky if I get 5 hrs of sleep in a night. I have little to no energy to do anything. I have parlours to clean, animals to feed up and water and clean out and I can barely fit it all in which means I can't give the animals the love that they need. The animals are doing fine, but I am not. I used to enjoy doing my job, I used to love it. Now I am starting to really despise my job and resent my family. They're clearly not willing to change, my brothers at least, I don't want to be under this stress and pressure all the time, so as much as I used to adore my job I can't stomach it anymore so I think for the future farming isn't for me.
Sorry for the long rant/post guys, I have come to the end of my tether with everything :'(


There are millions of people in the World that dreaming to be in your place. All the people living exact the same life you live, experiencing the same difficulties, having the same problems. Everyone is dreaming to live each other's life lol. Nowadays I am working on a desk job and I literally "hate" it, this is a torture. I should be out, should be running around, yelling around, falling flat on the ground (not on a fece if possible) lol. It is up to you to make changes in your life. Simply do what you want to do and do it steadily. You will strengthen anything you keep doing "steadily". You are a perfect farmer under the conditions you have today, because you are doing it "steadily" and you have strengthened it soo much, your family see this strength you created and they cant get rid of this "magnet effect". Now it sounds difficult to make some changes in your life because you feel the current strength and something new going to be added makes a weak impression in your mind and therefore makes you afraid of being unsuccesfull, naturally. I call it as "magnet effect", if you go far enough you will get rid of this effect, you need to decide for a change and make it "steadily" to go far enough.
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
Thanks for the replies guys. If I am really honest with myself there are days I despise farming, but overall it is a part of me and something I want to do. I wish things were different, but I guess it's in our hands to make that so. Had a haunting dream last night that I could no longer farm, that I had to go live in a town. It was horrific, suddenly everything I have now was ripped away and all I could do was stare at 4 walls. I need to make do with what I have. Ik many young people want to farm and can't for various reasons. I've been given this opportunity and I need to make the best of it really :)
 
Prior to this latest dip in your farming enthusiasm, how has your diet and alcohol intake been? I always find that upon consuming gluten, or alcohol, or perhaps synthetic flavourings things do get out of proportion and I look at them and feel much like saying feck it, I'm off!

These days I know that it is just diet induced over sensitivity and will soon pass. Avoiding all the afore mentioned products leads to a much more stable life for my self and those around me.

Chris (y)
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
Prior to this latest dip in your farming enthusiasm, how has your diet and alcohol intake been? I always find that upon consuming gluten, or alcohol, or perhaps synthetic flavourings things do get out of proportion and I look at them and feel much like saying feck it, I'm off!

These days I know that it is just diet induced over sensitivity and will soon pass. Avoiding all the afore mentioned products leads to a much more stable life for my self and those around me.

Chris (y)
All in all not the best tbh... My diet is a thing where I've been hardly eating that much. When I have its been not the best of nutrition wise based really. I have gone through a depressed point recently which led to that and I am eating better now, but there are times I will hardly eat that much of a day tbh :)
 
All in all not the best tbh... My diet is a thing where I've been hardly eating that much. When I have its been not the best of nutrition wise based really. I have gone through a depressed point recently which led to that and I am eating better now, but there are times I will hardly eat that much of a day tbh :)

And what about alcohol?

I would suggest 'trying' a gluten/alcohol free diet for a month and seeing how things progress. Keeping a diet and emotional diary could help you to pinpoint any problems in that area.
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
And what about alcohol?

I would suggest 'trying' a gluten/alcohol free diet for a month and seeing how things progress. Keeping a diet and emotional diary could help you to pinpoint any problems in that area.
I'm not intolerant to gluten tbh. But I think ik where the points lie in terms of diet and that's vitamins, I eat some veg but hardly any fruit and mostly snack on sugary stuff and carbs really. It's the sugar that does it for me. Alcohol wise past couple nights I've drunk a half litre of hot chocolate with 2 shots of baileys in it. But in general apart from the odd glass of wine every few days at dinnertime I hardly drink alcohol at all :)
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

  • 0 %

    Votes: 77 43.5%
  • Up to 25%

    Votes: 62 35.0%
  • 25-50%

    Votes: 28 15.8%
  • 50-75%

    Votes: 3 1.7%
  • 75-100%

    Votes: 3 1.7%
  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

    Votes: 4 2.3%

Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

  • 1,286
  • 1
As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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