Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

holwellcourtfarm

Member
Livestock Farmer
Thanks @DrWazzock for replying. I know what you mean, I feel crap about it as it feels like its my fault, even if it isn't I can't get rid of that feeling.

I would change jobs tomorrow, but I'm kind of "tied in" to a family business a bit, although with every incident that happens, I get that bit closer to thinking "sod it, whatever the supposed benefits are here, I'm walking". Deep down inside, it feels like I'm playing a waiting game, as though maybe that moment is coming where an opportunity comes up where I can really move on and make some progress in life. I am constantly keeping alert to oppounities, it's finding the right one that's difficult. Heck it's hard to explain on a forum without sounding cryptic ?? hopefully someone gets the gist that it's pretty deep....
I feel for you when your biggest problem is from family pressure, either intended or not. Often the only way to solve that one is to take a leap of faith.
 
Last edited:
A wee bit o' silly and perhaps serious thinking.

Woke up about 0300hrs this morning and decided to empty my bladder (this getting old can be an inconvenient pest at times) mind, you begin to realise that old age is becoming a 'wee' bit of a problem when you are aware of bladder troubles, always staying aware of the nearest gents, and then find that having made it to the urinal just in time and unzipped the fly you discover that you have put your boxers on back to front. Count your blessing, you could have been wearing long-johns back to front!

Well, back to bed and clicked light on to check time and was amazed at the size of a spider resting way up in the far corner of the room. Normally I get my self a glass and a piece of card, capture errant spider, and then take it and throw spider into the back garden. Having first gently woken my wife and informed her that I was sorting out our visitor by vacuuming it down from the corner.

Duty done and light off I was unable to get back to sleep so descended to the living room and watched tv for an hour or so. A whole programme was dedicated to the musicians who played on whilst the Titanic was slowly slipping to her doom and that of many of her passengers. As time was closely running out the group disbanded and each commenced to make their own way from the spot where they were playing but the lead violinist, a lifelong churchman, commenced to play 'Nearer my God to thee' and the others returned and joined him but for how long I don't know.

Music can have many effects on us and also on none humans. It is written that David calmed the rages and soothed the depressions of King Saul with harp and song and I once read that music being played in the milking parlour soothed the cows and increased milk yields.

I did think about playing music for cows and wondered if it has to be 'mood' music, or if the law demands that you have an entertainment licence to do so?
 
As far as I can see this is open to anyone in agriculture anywhere. It's a really informative, useful course. Most of us who post on here are already supporting each other as well as people outside the forum so I thought some of you might be interested.

The DPJ Foundation
v_MQ4bBP4g8.png


**FREE MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS TRAINING**
You may remember that last year we received a grant from Welsh Government to enable us to train 100 people who all work in the agricultural sector in Wales in Mental health awareness.... well due to Covid-19 we have had to change things up a bit. We are now offering this training online and because of that we can increase that number to 140!
Join us to learn more about Mental Health Awareness training to upskill on how you can support others in your community as well as yourself. The three hour training session will enable you to know how to spot the signs of someone with poor mental health, how to support them, how to encourage them to access support and also how to look after your own mental health.
Each person taking part will have a resource pack sent out to them which includes a book and information cards plus more!
This training is fully funded by the Welsh Government and is for anyone who works/lives in the agricultural sector. Training takes place over a series of dates and times starting at the end of July.
To book on please click here- https://buytickets.at/thedpjfoundation
Buy tickets for The DPJ Foundation


=AT1PRbQGf183J-sShcOczwtWckMnqCxtMnjdb3qkUW3WC61p1OpN29Yc0PSq8mmAXZZ8xVV2P-02Dowz3ezhI9IIJu--CRRa1V8HTk8H2Vwugjr866k4Lj_bdE4R9_-5xeUsyQPgMxEwh5TWik4ZZi_YfVqAaqAQffOehmX5C9kg6nQtQ6pGzoEr87fRtyg']
 
This is so important, I regularly meet people in my rural community who are so isolated by their fear of people finding out they are not cis.


The DPJ Foundation


?
#pridemonth
‘You just don’t get gay farmers’
It’s 2020 and it is ok to be you
?

Please #sharetheload if you are struggling.
Call us or the Gay Farmer Helpline - any farmer wishing to speak in confidence about their sexuality can call the helpline on 07837 931894…
See more
No photo description available.
 
Let's smile a while!

Our daughter, who sang soprano with a number of choral groups, was recently sent an email that directed her to a new idea in stress testing of the human psyche and subsequently relayed the missive to my wife, who in turn sent it on to me.

Apparently the boffins at one of the world's top universities have developed a specialised picture of two leaping dolphins and depending upon how much of a differential one sees between the two dolphins indicates the level of our stress.

Give it a go and see how it turns out. As for me, I think that I must need a holiday!

Stress test.jpg
 

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
A wee bit o' silly and perhaps serious thinking.

Woke up about 0300hrs this morning and decided to empty my bladder (this getting old can be an inconvenient pest at times) mind, you begin to realise that old age is becoming a 'wee' bit of a problem when you are aware of bladder troubles, always staying aware of the nearest gents, and then find that having made it to the urinal just in time and unzipped the fly you discover that you have put your boxers on back to front. Count your blessing, you could have been wearing long-johns back to front!

Well, back to bed and clicked light on to check time and was amazed at the size of a spider resting way up in the far corner of the room. Normally I get my self a glass and a piece of card, capture errant spider, and then take it and throw spider into the back garden. Having first gently woken my wife and informed her that I was sorting out our visitor by vacuuming it down from the corner.

Duty done and light off I was unable to get back to sleep so descended to the living room and watched tv for an hour or so. A whole programme was dedicated to the musicians who played on whilst the Titanic was slowly slipping to her doom and that of many of her passengers. As time was closely running out the group disbanded and each commenced to make their own way from the spot where they were playing but the lead violinist, a lifelong churchman, commenced to play 'Nearer my God to thee' and the others returned and joined him but for how long I don't know.

Music can have many effects on us and also on none humans. It is written that David calmed the rages and soothed the depressions of King Saul with harp and song and I once read that music being played in the milking parlour soothed the cows and increased milk yields.

I did think about playing music for cows and wondered if it has to be 'mood' music, or if the law demands that you have an entertainment licence to do so?
You Don't have to, im pretty sure. As its private use, you're not publicising anything there, you're just using it in your own time, as you would via earphones and say spotify and so on. Mood music is an interesting one and how it effects mood is interesting also. I use music all the time when working or resting and it helps to either relax/de-stress or it can stress and drive me into a depressive state, depending on the music
 
Last edited:

waterbuffalofarmer

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Penzance
I hope everyone is keeping well btw. I had a few episodes over the past few months, lockdown mostly brought them on. Last week i went through a place of having to force myself to eat and force myself to work, as i was so spaced out. Work is almost constant now, so im having to scrupulously time manage everything. I got to a state where I thought that I couldn't go on anymore and I was starting to think really dark thoughts, but I pulled past them. Determination is key, we sometimes have to force ourselves to carry on even if we Don't want to, because sometimes its for those around us that love us that we do it for. For those that its not, you need to carry on for yourself, because at the end of the day you matter, your life matters and you wont always think about yourself in that way. Moods pass. I was watching a 76 yr old american dude on Youtube the other day, giving advice about life. It was an amazing watch, so much respect for him. I will post the video here, see what everybody thinks. Stay safe and please TC xx
 
Last edited:
You Don't have to, im pretty sure. As its private use, you're not publicising anything there, you're just using it in your own time, as you would via earphones and say spotify and so on. Mood music is an interesting one and how it effects mood is interesting also. I use music all the time when working or resting and it helps to either relax/de-stress or it can stress and drive me into a depressive state, depending on the music

I should have spelled it 'mooed' music I suppose but I do recall sitting alone in the car listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons on the radio in 1984 and as Polish life passed by the music and life around me fell together like poetry in motion. Even the horses pulling farm carts stepped out to the tempo of some of the pieces.

Have you heard any more of the family that suffered the water buffalo attack so recently?
 
Have been struggling a little, final straw was lunch with a mate who is in a bad place . So gave myself a talking to and got up at 4am to watch this! Feeling amazing now and great to get back to nature! ( I’m so lucky this is 1/2 mile from my front door! View attachment 895739View attachment 895740View attachment 895741

It's brilliant that you managed to find that inner core of strength for yourself especially after reaching out to someone else who needed so much. Be kind to yourself as well now because that will have been like running a marathon for your mind and body.
 
Always loved seeing the sun rise and set; there is something magical and special about being able to watch our part of the cosmos in motion.

Thanks for posting the picture Rob and for sharing; your patience and willingness to support your friend is, without doubt, invaluable but such can be very emotionally and psychologically draining. Take care mate.
 

choochter

Member
Location
aberdeenshire
Always loved seeing the sun rise and set; there is something magical and special about being able to watch our part of the cosmos in motion.

Thanks for posting the picture Rob and for sharing; your patience and willingness to support your friend is, without doubt, invaluable but such can be very emotionally and psychologically draining. Take care mate.
Here's a photo of a sunset the other night - from the Philippines @Christoph1945
sunset_phils - Copy.jpg
 
Here's a photo of a sunset the other night - from the Philippines @Christoph1945
View attachment 895816

Add the sounds, sensations, and smells to the rising and the setting of the sun and it has the power to magically anchor us in the moment. When we were stationed out in Turkey, we loved sitting out on the balcony in the evening, beer in hand, and listening to the sounds of the crickets chirping, frogs croaking, and the occasional mosquito buzzing.

I don't know if it is something in the air but even conversation takes on a different audible tone; softer in some way.

Perhaps it's just that being anchored in the moment that makes the real difference. Or maybe it's the promoting of gratitude and thankfulness that the moment can initiate.

I once visited a farm north of Preston with my daughter and whilst she chatted with her friends I walked around the yard and entered the stables. The sun had gone well down below the horizon and the stables were illuminated by bare electric light bulbs, that cast a yellowish light and dark shadows all around, whilst two young women tussled straw down for the nights bedding and the horses moved, shifted their weight around and tugging at hay-nets. All that was missing was good old Nigel Kennedy playing a piece from Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

A considerable number of years later we were visiting a stables in Wales and guess who was in the yard practicing a violin piece?
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

  • 0 %

    Votes: 80 42.3%
  • Up to 25%

    Votes: 66 34.9%
  • 25-50%

    Votes: 30 15.9%
  • 50-75%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 75-100%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

    Votes: 7 3.7%

Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

  • 1,293
  • 1
As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
Top