Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Kiwi Pete]

What did you learn from each, Pete?

Probably the big take-aways for me - that it is possible to reprogram yourself, with some help of course.
Yes we can have chemical imbalances which make managing a condition difficult, but nothing is insurmountable. Not when you realise we only get one crack, our premiere and dress rehearsal is over - this is LIFE - and anything is worth a shot ‍♂

A lot of my trouble was that I was always searching for a fix, not fixing me!

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

 

[Digger73]

Posted on the spending time with family thread but I think I might be better off here just feeling lonely really

 

[GrannyAching]

Posted on the spending time with family thread but I think I might be better off here just feeling lonely really

You want to chat? We can do it here or via PM.

 

[GrannyAching]

Posted on the spending time with family thread but I think I might be better off here just feeling lonely really

I have found the Spending time with family thread and read your posts. What a sad situation for all four of you. I can see other people have advised you to seek help from one of the support lines that are available. I'm going to echo that. It takes great strength to admit that you need help and you have already shown that by posting some of your story. The support lines will be invaluable in keeping you going and finding a way through the miserable maze you find yourself in.

If you are on a laptop all the numbers are in my signature. I'll stick them in a separate post in a minute.

 

[Digger73]

Here is fine although things are personal if someone else gets to read them and it helps then that's good

 

[GrannyAching]

Here is fine although things are personal if someone else gets to read them and it helps then that's good

Thanks for the reply. I'm not going to ask you whether you think your family situation is irretrievable unless you want to discuss that.

How do you feel about giving one if the help lines a call? This is not to get rid of you but I know from my experience with the DPJ Foundation just how much help they can offer.

 

[GrannyAching]

View attachment 914417

 

[GrannyAching]

 

[Digger73]

I don't know if it's irretrievably I hope not but deep down I think it might be it certainly won't ever be the same.

 

[Digger73]

It shouldn't be the same I am the root cause of the problems and I accept that.

 

[GrannyAching]

I don't know if it's irretrievably I hope not but deep down I think it might be it certainly won't ever be the same.

I know it sounds trite but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I've been married over 40 years (to the same person ), we've had some serious ups and downs for all sorts of reasons.

If you are both willing to "work" there's usually a way forward together but on a new direction.

 

[GrannyAching]

It shouldn't be the same I am the root cause of the problems and I accept that.

Do you have an idea as to what will help you move on?

 

[Digger73]

That's part of the problem I know the cause and wanted to work things out I still look at her and feel everything for her that I did on our wedding day. I know I love her. But she doesn't know if she loves me. It's wrong to think of love as black or white you do or you don't. But it hurts that she possibly doesn't and that I'm not enough

 

[Digger73]

Flask time over now might be back later

 

[GrannyAching]

That's part of the problem I know the cause and wanted to work things out I still look at her and feel everything for her that I did on our wedding day. I know I love her. But she doesn't know if she loves me. It's wrong to think of love as black or white you do or you don't. But it hurts that she possibly doesn't and that I'm not enough

I think it's brilliant that you are able to express yourself so well.

I can understand why you say you feel a bit lonely, this is a huge part of your life that has suddenly turned out not to be the way you thought it was.

I can sense that you are desperate to try and make it right and to try and improve things but this will be momentous for your wife, too. She will also be in turmoil.

I feel that if you can reach out for help for yourself from someone else you will also be helping her.

 

[GrannyAching]

Flask time over now might be back later

Ok well tractor time on your own is jolly hard when you're brooding.

I'll keep an eye out for the next tea break.

 

[shearerlad]

On the subject of books, View attachment 915444@lazy farmer View attachment 915443
I got heaps out of these, highly recommended

I borrowed this from a friend. I saw Doug talk when he was over a couple of years ago. It was a lot to take in but hopefully the book will help too

 

[Kiwi Pete]

I borrowed this from a friend. I saw Doug talk when he was over a couple of years ago. It was a lot to take in but hopefully the book will help tooView attachment 916031

He tells his story very well, eh?
Good book, top bloke.

 

[Digger73]

How do you know when it's time to leave even if you still love the other person