Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Bury the Trash]

It is possible with a straight forward system , good handling facilities good permanent fences etc.
Elms stuff or any farm subsidy type thing for that matter will only ultimately tie you and the farm up into knots ,.

 

[teslacoils]

Having grain go to a co-op, and s contractor to combine it, hugely reduces the stress. Drilling now is much more stressful. Infact, I only have 1/10 of the area to plant but it is 10x more stressful as it's now the basis of success or fail.

 

[bumkin]

Reading your post with considerable interest (as your regular farm ignorant townie) I got to wondering how much cash you actually lost on the missed drillings and how much it would have cost to pay hired labour (contractor) to do the drilling for you.

No offence is intended by my query and I trust that it isn't like asking a man how much he has in the bank!

Chris

its not easy to find someone you can rely on to do things like grain drying its not just the cost its the availability of staff at that time of year

 

[Christoph1945]

Working off farm for part of the year can be liberating. It's a bit like having a holiday and gives our minds chance to focus on something else in my experience. @Farmer Roy is a good example in that regard.

It's not really feasible for a one-man-band livestock farm though.

 

[Bury the Trash]

Anything is feasible with the right thought ,set up and availability or ability to find that off farm thing or diversification that fits in and its no a new thing either,for instance our primary school bus driver was a small one man dairy farmer he milked before and after driving the bus.
Elsewhere Grain storage straight off the field is a good thing if its not too far away for logistics, a professional store will even sell it for you as well, only trouble with that these days is the Farm assurance thing complicating the issue.
A combining contractor wont be too keen to leave a large acreage fro a small one nor will they want to hang around even if moisture levels creep up,so drying costs most likely will be higher adding to overall costs of course ,been there done that got the t shirt.
Grassland doesn't need resowing every year and is very easy to manage in comparison with arable cropping and jobs like silage making can be done in less than perfect weather and still be successful.

Finding something that doesn't clash with certain seasons can still be a challenge mind you.

 

[DrWazzock]

I think we can be more or less be free from farming commitments from mid October to early March if we organise it properly and stop growing beet.
There will be some maintenance/drainage/spraying work but it's not a tie in the way that beet lifting and beet lorries are a tie turning up unpredictably in dribs and drabs through the autumn and winter. I had thought about getting a contractor to do the beet but the farm infrastructure isn't really up to large modern beet harvesting kit, we have no outside storage pad, and by the time I have paid them there wouldn't be much left. Its always a battle to drill it here without it blowing away then it needs spraying umpteen times with different nozzles etc so its going.
Just to be clear I am not depressed in anything like the way some folk are depressed. But I don't intend to gradually slip into that condition here. I have been close enough to it.
Those months freed up will be spent either in on farm diversification such as light engineering work, or just off farm work. I will have a clear run at it then. I might even retrain for something different.
Putting this up as I'm thinking out loud about how to get out of a bit of a rut. If it helps anybody else make a positive change then so much the better. It does take time to come round to it though and it isn't easy letting go of the past. But hopefully we can hold on to the good bits. Carrying on like a headless chicken doesn't do anybody any good including those who around us who have to put up with us!

 

[GeorgeK]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I enjoyed my time farming and have no regrets, but it was the right time to move on. I feel I have a new lease of life and I'm excited about the future. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

 

[Whitewalker]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I'm happier than I've ever been, I wouldn't go back to farming. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

Fair play . Take your options and sort them out . All the best for the future .

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I enjoyed my time farming and have no regrets, but it was the right time to move on. I feel I have a new lease of life and I'm excited about the future. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

Honorary TFF member with "escapee" status..,,,,

 

[Christoph1945]

Honorary TFF member with "escapee" status..,,,,

Nice one, despite not being a farmer and being a townie to boot; I always thought of this thread as being something of an escape committee but a committee for helping one escape from depression and all that it brings.

 

[Christoph1945]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I enjoyed my time farming and have no regrets, but it was the right time to move on. I feel I have a new lease of life and I'm excited about the future. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

What is it that you are actually doing now George?

 

[jendan]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I enjoyed my time farming and have no regrets, but it was the right time to move on. I feel I have a new lease of life and I'm excited about the future. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

If you dont mind me asking,what job are you doing now?

 

[GeorgeK]

What is it that you are actually doing now George?

If you dont mind me asking,what job are you doing now?

I'm quite lucky because there's a huge Bosch white and consumer goods distribution center near me, I've got a job in the workshop. We look at faulty items, production errors and what needs to be changed to make EU goods UK compliant. There's a lot of training and courses to do but I'll be doing a bit of everything and am the department's designated forklift driver.
The warehouse is massive and quite beautiful, when completed 4 years ago it was the 5th largest in the country (945,000 sq ft!) and is state of the art. Lots of automation and everything is absolutely top spec and meticulously maintained. It's designed for natural light, no or minimal artificial lighting needed in daylight hours and we have our roller shutter door that's always up if the weather's nice so it's a pleasant environment to work in.
We have no targets or hassle in the workshop, so long as we keep going steadily we're left alone to get on with it. Nice people, type of place where once you're in you stay.
All in all it worked out very well, landed on my feet and I hope to stay a good long time.

 

[ollie989898]

I'm quite lucky because there's a huge Bosch white and consumer goods distribution center near me, I've got a job in the workshop. We look at faulty items, production errors and what needs to be changed to make EU goods UK compliant. There's a lot of training and courses to do but I'll be doing a bit of everything and am the department's designated forklift driver.
The warehouse is massive and quite beautiful, when completed 4 years ago it was the 5th largest in the country (945,000 sq ft!) and is state of the art. Lots of automation and everything is absolutely top spec and meticulously maintained. It's designed for natural light, no artificial lighting needed in daylight hours and we have our roller shutter door that's always up if the weather's nice so it's a pleasant environment to work in.
We have no targets or hassle in the workshop, so long as we keep going steadily we're left alone to get on with it. Nice people, type of place where once you're in you stay.
All in all it worked out very well, landed on my feet and I hope to stay a good long time.

Cripes, that does sound like an ideal place to spend a day.

 

[GeorgeK]

Cripes, that does sound like an ideal place to spend a day.

As someone who's thrown up a couple of lean-to's and appreciates a nicely executed bit of concrete and steel work it's like working in a cathedral . Plus if anything goes wrong with any of it the white van fairy magically fixes it.

 

[czechmate]

Well it's been a long time in the happening but we are out, sold up, cash in bank. This wasn't a knee jerk reaction based on a tough year, a falling out or a bad frame of mind, it was based on spreadsheets, forecasts, research and planning for the future to achieve the best outcomes for everyone involved. I have never liked swimming against the current and that was how the situation was starting to feel. Not having any children was also a big factor along with the fact I've lived and worked off farm previously and always been quite happy.
My parents now have a more manageable house with a paddock and pond. Dad has kept the Nuffield and topper so he can fulfill his right and duty as an old farmer to knock over gateposts.
I have a pleasant, stress-free job working with nice people. The second I walked off the farm the stress evaporated and I haven't looked back. I went to look at the fields the other day and I can honestly say I'm glad someone else is looking after them, I only ever considered myself to be a temporary custodian of the land. The only thing I miss is the workshop, specifically the vice, bench grinder, welder and compressor but that can all be replaced albeit in a smaller form. Unfortunately I can't replace the scrap and hoarded junk that always provided a solution for any problem with enough rummaging, so now I have to plan ahead for jobs round the house.
I enjoyed my time farming and have no regrets, but it was the right time to move on. I feel I have a new lease of life and I'm excited about the future. To everyone still in the game I wish you all the best - we need you now more than ever. To anyone feeling trapped or without hope I say don't be afraid, you have the ability to change your life for the better.
Apologies for the long post. And no you won't get rid of me from this forum that easily just because I'm not farming any more!

You kept that quiet, or I just didn’t notice.
Well, I am chuffed for you and wish you all the best for the future. I am very glad you intend to continue with us as I have always enjoyed your postings

We have a viewing tomorrow, a small step to hopefully a more sensible beginning

 

[GeorgeK]

You kept that quiet, or I just didn’t notice.
Well, I am chuffed for you and wish you all the best for the future. I am very glad you intend to continue with us as I have always enjoyed your postings

We have a viewing tomorrow, a small step to hopefully a more sensible beginning

I'm not one for counting chickens before they've hatched so yes kept it quiet! You are doing a brave thing, remember to keep looking forwards, keep moving and keep focused on your goal even if at times it feels like you're taking more steps back than forwards. I went through the stages of grieving multiple times for all manner of things I thought I'd lose (even though now I don't miss them at all) so perhaps this may help you recognise and work through the process should you feel the same:

• Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
• Pain and guilt.
• Anger and bargaining.
• Depression.
• The upward turn.
• Reconstruction and working through.
• Acceptance and hope.

You will make it and your reward will be that new beginning so good luck!

 

[czechmate]

I'm not one for counting chickens before they've hatched so yes kept it quiet! You are doing a brave thing, remember to keep looking forwards, keep moving and keep focused on your goal even if at times it feels like you're taking more steps back than forwards. I went through the stages of grieving multiple times for all manner of things I thought I'd lose (even though now I don't miss them at all) so perhaps this may help you recognise and work through the process should you feel the same:

• Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
• Pain and guilt.
• Anger and bargaining.
• Depression.
• The upward turn.
• Reconstruction and working through.
• Acceptance and hope.

You will make it and your reward will be that new beginning so good luck!

I’m not so brave like you, at all, though as I’m not looking to sell my home farm ... and yes the bargaining part was the beginning of the process, I can use some of funds from a sale to make this place a better place, especially looking way into the future to a semi retirement type of deal.
It got to the point where I feel physically sick (still do) when I go to the other place, so it’s an easy decision now. Signing day with farms here can be years down the road so I know it’s a long haul

 

[GeorgeK]

I’m not so brave like you, at all, though as I’m not looking to sell my home farm ... and yes the bargaining part was the beginning of the process, I can use some of funds from a sale to make this place a better place, especially looking way into the future to a semi retirement type of deal.
It got to the point where I feel physically sick (still do) when I go to the other place, so it’s an easy decision now. Signing day with farms here can be years down the road so I know it’s a long haul

That sounds an excellent plan. Brave perhaps wasn't the right word, maybe "Make the best decision for our individual circumstances at the time" is more fitting. I'm in no way saying it's better to leave the sector, just putting my own story and reasoning out there if it may help others in any way.

 

[Christoph1945]

I'm not one for counting chickens before they've hatched so yes kept it quiet! You are doing a brave thing, remember to keep looking forwards, keep moving and keep focused on your goal even if at times it feels like you're taking more steps back than forwards. I went through the stages of grieving multiple times for all manner of things I thought I'd lose (even though now I don't miss them at all) so perhaps this may help you recognise and work through the process should you feel the same:

• Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.
• Pain and guilt.
• Anger and bargaining.
• Depression.
• The upward turn.
• Reconstruction and working through.
• Acceptance and hope.

You will make it and your reward will be that new beginning so good luck!

Interestingly there is a bible passage that says tell no man your dream but it would appear that the best translation could be tell no man your plans. There was a recent scientific report that said when we tell people about our dreams/plans our subconscious feels that in the telling we have actually completed the plan and robs us of momentum. But then again some sod may steal off with our ideas!