Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Wombat]

Are you still angry at a situation?

I just love the movie 'Ground Hog Day'!

Pete's story of the honesty box situation depicts the breaking away from 'Ground Hog Day' beautifully'.

PS Don't forget Skype; a great way to break out of isolation.

It’s anxiety, the lady I who did my cbd said I am a “catastrophiser”

the thing is since I was 12-15 I have had to deal with lots of stuff and over the last 20yrs I had found away to deal with it all so I appeared probably excellent on the outside. Unfortunately the last 2yrs took all the ways I had that I dealt with it and the doctor thinks it’s just a function of that.
But obviously doesn’t want It to be something more sinister. It’s getting better but by Christ I don’t want to do the last 2yrs again.

 

[Christoph1945]

A somewhat silly thought tripped through my mind and based on some recent thinking I thought that I would share it with our silent readers.

You don;t have to be depressed and suicidal to post in here but it helps!

Watch for the play on words!!!!!

 

[Christoph1945]

It’s anxiety, the lady I who did my cbd said I am a “catastrophiser”

the thing is since I was 12-15 I have had to deal with lots of stuff and over the last 20yrs I had found away to deal with it all so I appeared probably excellent on the outside. Unfortunately the last 2yrs took all the ways I had that I dealt with it and the doctor thinks it’s just a function of that.
But obviously doesn’t want It to be something more sinister. It’s getting better but by Christ I don’t want to do the last 2yrs again.

Isn't anxiety, I wonder, just an other word for fear; perhaps of a gentler nature though. When anxiety starts knocking on our door do you suppose that it may help if we ask what it is that we are afraid of?

Sometimes the above question can be best asked at bed time, just before we go to sleep, and our subconscious will allow answers to commence surfacing in our dreams. Dreams, of course, can be very cryptic and may take some working out.

 

[DrWazzock]

The thing is, if you are taught that "you're a victim", then it ensures you have a miserable life with little possibility

and, school teaches you that every day you go there, so these two schoolboys were both reading from the same script

and, important part, they both believed they were right in being "the victim"

I like the "Just for this day, I will be kindness" approach because it removes your self from that victim state of mind, from that narrative about how life is hard, lets you see how easily things can be resolved.

Of course, it means letting go of stuff, that's the barrier in the way

How very right you are Pete, in this and your posts above. Just very occasionally I’ll have a “moneyless” day. Let folks in genuine need have something for “nothing” not that it amounts to much but there’s no invoice no VAT, nothing expected in return, no forms to fill in. Don’t mind doing it if the needs there but won’t be treated like a sucker either. For me the best thing about it is the liberation from the tyranny of money and balance sheets either of monetary or of the “you owe me one” kind of balance sheet. Couple of bales of straw, an hours work fixing something. No big deal. Don’t come to me for £20k though or ask to borrow my telehandler.
Was in the supermarket the other day. Somebody short of a few quid at the checkout. We’ll have to put that back. A few folks in the queue chipped in and made up the shortfall. Restores your faith in the general public. Lots of good folk about.
The “he owes me this” and “they owe me that” mentality can eat you up inside. I’ve written off quite a few debts over the years. Just let them go. Move on. But some folk just can’t drop it and it poisons them.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Yeah, we can easily come to the conclusion that the world is a really shitty place, that's why the news is never watched or listened to in this house.

I must admit I don't worry about waiting for "the season of goodwill" anymore, I try to just take it into my day. Some days that light just isn't there, but when it is I shine it around.

I was reasonably aware for a while that in our marriage, we had some type of "point scoring" racket going on and that was really apparent.
We just had a discussion about it one evening and I came out with what I thought was going on and what I thought it was costing us...

Sarah had actually been bottling up the exact same thing "but didn't really know how to say it" and who knows where it would have gone.
Felt great to clean it up, and the lasting thing is that we don't have a relationship based on give and take - it's more we just give what we've got to give

the effect of that on my dear wife has been really quite astounding, alot of her anxiety left the building because she feels safe to blow off or have a breakdown, knowing that it is what it is - just a breakdown - and knowing we'll get it resolved

I think that by getting rid of that "well you didn't put much in, so neither will I" thing out of the house means that the stuff that hits us from outside doesn't really hit us the same because we are together, instead of two compatible people living together.. you can see it in our children and how they don't really seem to misbehave - they obviously had worked out that we mostly cared about "problems"

 

[ollie989898]

Absolute fudging mess today. Woke up at 5am. Can't still for 5 minutes. Can't focus on anything. Desperately need a way out of this, I've no back up plan and it haunts me day and night.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Absolute fudging mess today. Woke up at 5am. Can't still for 5 minutes. Can't focus on anything. Desperately need a way out of this, I've no back up plan and it haunts me day and night.

Feel like something completely different?

I'm just looking at Dr Auke Schade's "Nemonik Thinking" videos, lot of sense in it where there is little sense in conventional thinking. If you have ten minutes, look him up, tell me what you think!

 

[FonterraFarmer]

Anybody on here use Tramadol?
I take one every Friday night to help me get a deep sleep, what with aches and pains etc. A little fringe benefit I’ve noticed is it kind of resets any anxiety I have for a day or two, wake up feeling peaceful, warm and fuzzy

I've got boxes of the stuff but never used it when I broke my leg. That's the only time my sister told me words to the effect of "probably advisable not to use it" as it can be addictive.

 

[GeorgeK]

I've got boxes of the stuff but never used it when I broke my leg. That's the only time my sister told me words to the effect of "probably advisable not to use it" as it can be addictive.

I would also stay away, in hindsight. It's an opiate and they're all the same. Enjoying the feeling or looking forwards to it should set alarm bells ringing. The feeling is such that it's easy to rationalise use 'for the pain.' It starts off irregularly as required, then weekly then daily and by that time you're looking at a world of hurt to free yourself. It's like Pandora's box, best to never open it unless we're talking end of life care but that's just my own opinion obviously there are many other situations in real life. Ultimately no one can control opiates, skimming off the benefits while avoiding all the downsides, given long enough they'll gain control of everyone who uses them.
A coffee in the morning is all I stretch to now with regards to mood altering substances.

 

[Foxcover]

I would also stay away, in hindsight. It's an opiate and they're all the same. Enjoying the feeling or looking forwards to it should set alarm bells ringing. The feeling is such that it's easy to rationalise use 'for the pain.' It starts off irregularly as required, then weekly then daily and by that time you're looking at a world of hurt to free yourself. It's like Pandora's box, best to never open it unless we're talking end of life care but that's just my own opinion obviously there are many other situations in real life. Ultimately no one can control opiates, skimming off the benefits while avoiding all the downsides, given long enough they'll gain control of everyone who uses them.
A coffee in the morning is all I stretch to now with regards to mood altering substances.

Oh you’re right, it’s definitely addictive.
I’ve never taken more than 2 tablets once a week and I regularly go a month or two without taking any at all but when the aches and pains get too much it’s the only thing that helps me get a good nights sleep but I can only take it on a Friday night as Saturday is the only morning I don’t have to be up early driving, operating machinery or near large animals!

 

[Christoph1945]

Just today, within the hour, we lost a very very close friend to pancreatic cancer and I'm afraid that I feel as though I have been steam rollered and am feeling quite motheaten and stunned.

Stay safe, stay well, and stand fast folks.

Chris

 

[Lili]

Condolences on your loss @Christoph1945. Thinking of you and your wife.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Just today, within the hour, we lost a very very close friend to pancreatic cancer and I'm afraid that I feel as though I have been steam rollered and am feeling quite motheaten and stunned.

Stay safe, stay well, and stand fast folks.

Chris

Pancreatic cancer can be an especially cruel way to go. I hope it wasn’t so in this case. Condolences from us.

 

[Foxcover]

Just today, within the hour, we lost a very very close friend to pancreatic cancer and I'm afraid that I feel as though I have been steam rollered and am feeling quite motheaten and stunned.

Stay safe, stay well, and stand fast folks.

Chris

I wouldn’t wish pancreatic cancer on anyone

 

[bumkin]

Just today, within the hour, we lost a very very close friend to pancreatic cancer and I'm afraid that I feel as though I have been steam rollered and am feeling quite motheaten and stunned.

Stay safe, stay well, and stand fast folks.

Chris

 

[Christoph1945]

Just starting to get it together and although it was anticipated it hit like a hammer blow but it will be harder for our eleven year old grandson, who counted Sue as his very own Granny Sue.

Sue had no grand children of her own and doted on our two and was more like a sister to me and my wife; fifty years of bonding have vanished in a flash.

 

[Wombat]

Just today, within the hour, we lost a very very close friend to pancreatic cancer and I'm afraid that I feel as though I have been steam rollered and am feeling quite motheaten and stunned.

Stay safe, stay well, and stand fast folks.

Chris

Sorry to read that, it’s hard and not trying to make it any less so please don’t read this as that but I lost my father in law and mum within 2 weeks and although it’s bloody hard we do get over these things and learn to live with it. So enjoy the little things on a day by day basis as a first step.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

So things were starting to go a little bit more positive... I have been reading so many books the past few weeks to escape things and it has been amazing book therapy can sometimes be the very best thing. However, today things became slightly worse... Dad and mum not getting on again, for the umpteenth time, then dad and I have a heart to heart talk. I don't think they will be together much longer, I think I managed to talk him out of selling everything up and moving away, because running isn't always the best option is it? But yeah, now I have an idea what i want my life to be in terms of how it's been progressing for the past few weeks. I didn't get that job, but I have now been enrolled for culinary training and, hopefully, I shall know more in due course. I finally have a goal to work towards and that is perfect. Unfortunately lately I'm finding I have to parent my parents, dad is terrified of being alone with mum as her behaviour can be erratic temperwise, mum is afraid of me leaving her. If I say I'm going to apply for jobs, she is begging me not to sell myself in an interview in order to get it... Very confusing, one minute it can be shouting etc, the other she's fine with me. I have had to put up with rather a lot over the past 3 years, I do think it's a mental breakdown and massive jealousy/insecurity issues about people close to her or (namely dad) and insecurities of how her life is and how she feels and I do get it, but the way its gone about is not the best. I won't go into more detail tho. But yeah... I've been delaying work today because I've been so stressed out with things. Money worries are constantly nagging at me, but all in due time I guess. I feel almost lost and thrown off track between what I want and what is being thrown at me by family members

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Just starting to get it together and although it was anticipated it hit like a hammer blow but it will be harder for our eleven year old grandson, who counted Sue as his very own Granny Sue.

Sue had no grand children of her own and doted on our two and was more like a sister to me and my wife; fifty years of bonding have vanished in a flash.

I am truly sorry to hear this Chris I am thinking if you all at this difficult time and if there is anything I can do to help, please ask x

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

So things were starting to go a little bit more positive... I have been reading so many books the past few weeks to escape things and it has been amazing book therapy can sometimes be the very best thing. However, today things became slightly worse... Dad and mum not getting on again, for the umpteenth time, then dad and I have a heart to heart talk. I don't think they will be together much longer, I think I managed to talk him out of selling everything up and moving away, because running isn't always the best option is it? But yeah, now I have an idea what i want my life to be in terms of how it's been progressing for the past few weeks. I didn't get that job, but I have now been enrolled for culinary training and, hopefully, I shall know more in due course. I finally have a goal to work towards and that is perfect. Unfortunately lately I'm finding I have to parent my parents, dad is terrified of being alone with mum as her behaviour can be erratic temperwise, mum is afraid of me leaving her. If I say I'm going to apply for jobs, she is begging me not to sell myself in an interview in order to get it... Very confusing, one minute it can be shouting etc, the other she's fine with me. I have had to put up with rather a lot over the past 3 years, I do think it's a mental breakdown and massive jealousy/insecurity issues about people close to her or (namely dad) and insecurities of how her life is and how she feels and I do get it, but the way its gone about is not the best. I won't go into more detail tho. But yeah... I've been delaying work today because I've been so stressed out with things. Money worries are constantly nagging at me, but all in due time I guess. I feel almost lost and thrown off track between what I want and what is being thrown at me by family members

That's a really difficult situation to be faced with. They clearly have issues that are not being faced but it's not your job to keep the peace. You have to prioritise your own life or you'll risk ending up looking back wondering why you didn't.