Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Rossymons]

As I see it, we have 3 courses open to us ~ NHS medication, counselling (which in itself is a form of medication), or as you and the fortunate, a path of self-help …. usually the most difficult but in the long term, perhaps the most efficacious.

A huge Well Done to you.

What I would add is that I have tried the other 2 ways route of help.

I was on anti-Ds for just over a year which did serve a purpose. But I likened it to watching myself in 3rd person and hated it. I can see how medication can affect people. I also have issue with the relative routine use of anti-Ds as a solution leading to people becoming dependent on them rather than treating the person. But that is for another day.

I also endured counselling which absolutely did not work for me. Spending time discussing how I was feeling when I already knew did not help. The last thing I needed was to wallow. I was late for one session. 10 minutes I think it was so not a disaster especially I was sat downstairs the previous session for 15 and said nothing.

Anyway....I was late and got told off for it as it was "inconvenient and I should do better"

F**K ME!! I'm only here because I'm deemed a suicide risk and this is part of my treatment and you're the one put out?! I didn't return.

Then there was just grey and misery until last year.

So I don't know if I did was right. Could I have made life better by staying the course? I've no idea nor will I. But I probably wasn't receptive to any help in whatever form it came in. I'm open to help now and now that I care about myself I'm doing what I can.

 

[Texel Tup]

@Rossymons ~ I'm really not one for bible quotes, but I often think that whilst we're assured of the benefits of Faith, Hope and Charity, without Hope the other two are fairly pointless. It sounds as though you found Hope, and with that, the load is certainly lightened ~ you've done well.

A few years back now, my partner endured a series of traumas including the loss of her mother which hit her hard. We had private counselling for her - a complete and total waste of time. Either she wasn't receptive or she met up with idiots - she even had one guy who appeared to come-on too her ~ "Good luck with that one" I thought! She made appointments in series and when she rang up to confirm her next meeting, she found that the guy was off with depression.

 

[DrWazzock]

We haven’t had much success with counsellors. Psychologists maybe slightly better. Really change (and that’s if it’s possible) has to come from within.
It’s also the case that some situations are actually truly awful and it’s not wrong to feel down about them or to take your time to come to some sort of terms with them.
A positive attitude and a sense of humour helps but that is very tall order for some of the things people have to deal with so feeling a bit down at times is in my opinion not abnormal or any failing . It’s just life. All we can do is try to appreciate and made the most of the good bits.

 

[DrWazzock]

And then there is the whole area of chemical imbalances in the brain. Much more important than many realise. Sunlight, vitamins, chemicals have a big effect. I also believe a long run of negative experiences can alter your brain chemistry for the worse. Alcohol releases all the happy chemicals in one big rush then leaves you short for a few days. Is it worth the rush for the low? Debatable. Exercise improves things.
If only I listened to my own advice.

 

[primmiemoo]

Delurking to add to the collective encouragement for all, and also to enquire as to how the world is with @Spuddler . Not everyone winters well, even in mild winters, so I hope things are feeling easier now there are clear signs of Spring.

 

[Spuddler]

Delurking to add to the collective encouragement for all, and also to enquire as to how the world is with @Spuddler . Not everyone winters well, even in mild winters, so I hope things are feeling easier now there are clear signs of Spring.

Thanks Primmiemoo
TBH not fairing to well, but wanted to post just to say thankyou for the kind PM messages and several visits and help from some of the TFF collective.

 

[primmiemoo]

Thanks Primmiemoo
TBH not fairing to well, but wanted to post just to say thankyou for the kind PM messages and several visits and help from some of the TFF collective.

Glad you feel like putting fingertips to keyboard, @Spuddler . KOKO, dear cyberchum! Things do improve

 

[czechmate]

Glad you feel like putting fingertips to keyboard, @Spuddler . KOKO, dear cyberchum! Things do improve

Keep on, keeping on?

 

[Texel Tup]

Glad you feel like putting fingertips to keyboard, @Spuddler . KOKO, dear cyberchum! Things do improve

What an excellent, worthy and warming place this is …. Thank you to all those who contribute and from which ever direction.

Today the sun shines for some of us and if we can deflect it to those who sit in shade, then our world from the standpoint of all, is a slightly better place.

 

[Christoph1945]

Today the sun shines for some of us and if we can deflect it to those who sit in shade, then our world from the standpoint of all, is a slightly better place.

Many years ago, when I once worked as a bus conductor/driver, one could witness how folks changed according to the weather conditions of the day but there were always a small number of folk that carried their own internal sunshine and brightened the day for all that they met.

 

[czechmate]

Many years ago, when I once worked as a bus conductor/driver, one could witness how folks changed according to the weather conditions of the day but there were always a small number of folk that carried their own internal sunshine and brightened the day for all that they met.

And some carry their own rain clouds...

 

[Christoph1945]

And some carry their own rain clouds...

Been there, done that, and was all but washed away!

 

[DrWazzock]

The weather does dictate my mood. This farm is very sensitive to lack of rainfall. Crops start failing and losing potential much faster than on other better soil types. Spring has never been a time of great joy agriculturally here for as long as I can remember. It’s a time usually of insufficient water. Most of the spring is spent watching potential being lost : watching a half ton an acre disappear off predicted yields for every three weeks it doesnt rain at all from now on. It’s not a reality that’s very palatable or easily swept under the carpet. It’s what makes me miserable though I’m surrounded by the beauty of nature in a place of lovely scenery. All that work, all those expensive inputs, melting away due to simple lack of rain. There’s no other way round it. If you think at all, it’s depressing. It really is. It’s in your face every time you go outside. Plants stressed through lack of moisture.
Really depressing things are part of farming in the real world. You either have to accept them with resignation and grit, or walk away or fundamentally change how you do things.
The present input price crisis has been a wake up call though. How sensitive is my farm to outside events and weather beyond my control. Answer: too sensitive. More stable and resilient systems of production needed. And more relaxed systems as well. Not too many eggs in one basket.

 

[Christoph1945]

The weather does dictate my mood. This farm is very sensitive to lack of rainfall. Crops start failing and losing potential much faster than on other better soil types. Spring has never been a time of great joy agriculturally here for as long as I can remember. It’s a time usually of insufficient water. Most of the spring is spent watching potential being lost : watching a half ton an acre disappear off predicted yields for every three weeks it doesnt rain at all from now on. It’s not a reality that’s very palatable or easily swept under the carpet. It’s what makes me miserable though I’m surrounded by the beauty of nature in a place of lovely scenery. All that work, all those expensive inputs, melting away due to simple lack of rain. There’s no other way round it. If you think at all, it’s depressing. It really is. It’s in your face every time you go outside. Plants stressed through lack of moisture.
Really depressing things are part of farming in the real world. You either have to accept them with resignation and grit, or walk away or fundamentally change how you do things.
The present input price crisis has been a wake up call though. How sensitive is my farm to outside events and weather beyond my control. Answer: too sensitive. More stable and resilient systems of production needed. And more relaxed systems as well. Not too many eggs in one basket.

Is there any way that you could grow something less sensitive to low rainfall, or perhaps knock up some sort of irrigation system to compensate for dry spells?

 

[teslacoils]

We all await the day when the farm is paid for; we can grass it down, muck about fixing gates and feeding a few sucklers, supported by our state pensions.

 

[Christoph1945]

I have read tell that some folks are looking at diversifying.

 

[DrWazzock]

Other interests, jobs, activities are essential.

 

[DrWazzock]

Is there any way that you could grow something less sensitive to low rainfall, or perhaps knock up some sort of irrigation system to compensate for dry spells?

Grass and low intensity livestock is less sensitive to rainfall and is sort of the solution.
Irrigation on any worthwhile scale is a bureaucratic and regulatory nightmare and would need me to put up £250k, so more or less a non starter. If the powers that be had a positive atttitude to irrigation i’d give it a go but there is more an attitude of deterrence from the government on any such scheme. They’d actually prefer to just leave it to nature. Unmanaged water systems, flooded out in winter, too dry in summer. They are not interested in anybody growing crops here despite all the “feed the nation” bull sh!t.

 

[DrWazzock]

One decent sized wind turbine would have provided us with enough income to replace the. BPS that we are going to lose. We had a proposal but everybody from the MP to the parish council opposed it.
Yet they talk more bulls**t about needing to reduce reliance on fossil fuels. The petty minded nimby attitude in this country crushes all things that would sustain real rural communities, They just see the countryside as a leisure playground or nature reserve and don’t give a toss about rural economic sustainably. I find that incredibly depressing and demoralising. Then they expect us to do our bit, shoulder to the wheel and all that. Well stuff the selfish tossers. Rant over.

 

[teslacoils]

I'm inclined to think that the best way to think about a small farm, and by that I'm talking sub 300ac arable, is simply as a store of value and a nice place to live. I'm pushed to call what I do a job when I spend perhaps no more than 30 days a year actually working. I'm hoping my children will simply keep it as a "home base" while working abroad to make some real money.