Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

Andyrob

Moderator
Media
Is there enough done to give support to people in that state of mind? Even to council people after a person does commit suicide? I know some people never ask for help and it's kinda hard to find out if someone thinks like that. But with farming it is very stressful and well it's a bigger strain on people.

Some helpful contacts and Numbers can be found in the resources Menu here:

https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?pages/Support/
 

blackbob

Member
Location
Aberdeenshire
There is plenty of support available, with your GP being the one you need to speak to first.. The problem, as you have pointed out, is getting the person to make that appointment. The GP is a good listener, has plenty of time (and a big box of Kleenex), has any amount of mental-health backup at the end of their phone... They just need to get the person into the surgery before anything bad happens, which will probably mean a partner or family member making the first move
Why do you ask, Andyrob?
 

Walterp

Member
Location
Pembrokeshire
Sadly, you can't support people if they are suicidal - if they have reached the stage of wanting to kill themselves (rather than thinking about it, talking about it, or threatening to do it) then that is what they will, eventually, do.

That is why great efforts are made to help people before they get to that stage.
 

blackbob

Member
Location
Aberdeenshire
Of course you can support them, at any stage, you can lock them up if necessary as a last resort, but the GP and the psychiatrist will listen, carefully, sympathetically, and make sure they understand why the person feels the way they do, and show them that there IS a way forward, antidepressants are great but they take time to work and the NHS is quite prepared to give as much intensive care as is necessary, just as much as a road-accident casualty would receive, and just as urgently
 

JD-Kid

Member
know a few that have taken there own lifes some of the times loss of family or friend some of them farming worrys some health probs

most of the time the ones that talk about are the ones wanting help and asking for it the only way they know how others just seem OK nothing strange in there day to day and on the day just go to work as if nothing is going on but don't come home one i know told his wife going to feed the dogs hour later shes thinking ummmm takeing a while found him in the woolshed

there will be some signs in there actions maybe not in spoken words just things a tad strange IE a messy person may get things in order or people getting things in order wills etc that they have been putting off for years just wee things they can't mask keep in mind people plan it so they do drop hints in there actions

GP's can help a lot ,same with support groups ,phone help hotlines , some drugs help some others change of lifestyle job etc

some sad to say do reaccure and tend to be better at masking it bloody hard to stop them guy i knew had a bad crash killing his best mate for years he had probs sound of cut off saws etc would set him off flash backs etc years later guy he worked for went overseas he took his life while his boss was away ,his boss being one of the few that kept a watch on him

i'm not 100% sold on the farming being stressfull i think the mind set in farming is a bit diffrent and also the lack of outside contact working alone etc yes there is stress money weather etc etc but i think adding other factors in there alowing things to stew away thinking things over makeing things bigger and worst than they realy are
 
I agree with JD. A lot of fuss about Quad bike accidents in NZ, but fatalities still about half that of suicide. Personally I think the NZ problem is accentuated by farms being much larger than in Europe therefore farmers are more isolated. Many would not see their neighbours for weeks unless somewhere away from the farm. We do not have a village culture here. Once every rural town could support a rugby team, now that is gone and even large service towns with populations over 1000 cannot muster sufficient numbers from their district.
I was shocked recently by a Dr. mate when discussing the proportion of the population on anti depression drugs. It's not just a farming problem, it is the modern lifestyle problem and isolation, even in a crowd. On a 24 hr clock basis, it was only 10 seconds ago when our ancestors came out of caves and saw that the world has more than about 20 people in it.
 

Yale

Member
Livestock Farmer
Very few people would commit suicide if they had the correct support at the correct time.

The problem is how you get support to folk who live and work in isolated parts/isolated lives.

As society and farming change,you can be isolated even though the area you live in is populated.

How this is overcome i'm not sure.:unsure:
 

JD-Kid

Member
yea GO agree towns in the country have got smaller bloke next door is 2 Km's as the crow flys have not seen him for 4 weeks

Yale not sure how to get the support in to those areas i do know when things get harder dry low prices snow etc etc bit of a trend in local area people do start talking a bit more maybe letting there guard down a bit all in the same boat i guess so do talk over common probs
 

Clive

Staff Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lichfield
As a forum we were approached by Farm community network sometime ago to provide a link to people that can help

http://www.fcn.org.uk/

We were of course happy to help however we could and there will soon be a click thorough banner direct to their website and advisors (we are just waiting if their committee to approve what we have done before it can go live though)

Forums are a great place for the isolated to ge together, get advice or just talk rubbish if they like. I see forums like TTF playing an important role in the future connecting people who can help each other
 

Penmoel

Member
my younger brother hung him self and not one person in the family seen it coming,


A friend of mine's brother committed suicide a few years ago, the one thing he will always say was " why did he not talk to me, I wish he had". Being isolated is not a reason , even when there are plenty of people about, when the suicide mind set has set in, it must be a deep hole to come out of.

The only problem I see in farming is that farmers do have the means to commit suicide to hand very easily.
 

franklin

New Member
Mental health provision varies a lot from county to county. Cant say from personal experience that Lincolnshire has a very good service at all.
 

snarling bee

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Bedfordshire
Having lost my eldest daughter to suicide last December 6th (worst day of my life), all I can say is that NHS is worse than useless, GPs variable, counselling services are very variable. The biggest problem we had was lack of communication and involvement from the health services.
We were hours from getting her into a private clinic, but she didn't want help and beat us to it. I believe that short of being handcuffed to someone 24/7 she would have eventually done it somehow, somewhere.
All I will say is if someone you love is depressed get help fast, and don't get fobbed off. Perhaps I'm alarmist, but you will understand why.
MIND is a good charity that we discovered when it was too late. I could write all night, but it would bore you all.
 

Chae1

Member
Location
Aberdeenshire
Of course you can support them, at any stage, you can lock them up if necessary as a last resort, but the GP and the psychiatrist will listen, carefully, sympathetically, and make sure they understand why the person feels the way they do, and show them that there IS a way forward, antidepressants are great but they take time to work and the NHS is quite prepared to give as much intensive care as is necessary, just as much as a road-accident casualty would receive, and just as urgently

Not in our experience my mum was offered appointment from gp at hospital in 3 months. Was then urgently admitted. Did it in the hospital where she was supposedly being looked after. Had been in for 2 days and never seen by anyone due to administrative cock up.. To top it all off consultant phoned on night it happened to say if he had seen her day before it wouldn t have happened! There was a full enquiry ect to what happened and offered public enquiry but didnt want it in papers etc. She had a district nurse that came to see her once a fortnight before who helped alot but stopped coming due to cut backs. NHS did nothing for us. Hospital currently under investigation after 2 other people did the same this week. Why can someone in this state check themselves out!?I do agree that if someone really wants to do it they will.
 

grumpy

Member
Location
Fife
Having lost my eldest daughter to suicide last December 6th (worst day of my life), all I can say is that NHS is worse than useless, GPs variable, counselling services are very variable. The biggest problem we had was lack of communication and involvement from the health services.
We were hours from getting her into a private clinic, but she didn't want help and beat us to it. I believe that short of being handcuffed to someone 24/7 she would have eventually done it somehow, somewhere.
All I will say is if someone you love is depressed get help fast, and don't get fobbed off. Perhaps I'm alarmist, but you will understand why.
MIND is a good charity that we discovered when it was too late. I could write all night, but it would bore you all.
you wouldn't bore me,the more folks talk about it the better and agree the nhs is a waste of time.and these folks are great.

http://www.mind.org.uk/
 

llamedos

New Member
Having lost my eldest daughter to suicide last December 6th (worst day of my life), all I can say is that NHS is worse than useless, GPs variable, counselling services are very variable. The biggest problem we had was lack of communication and involvement from the health services.
We were hours from getting her into a private clinic, but she didn't want help and beat us to it. I believe that short of being handcuffed to someone 24/7 she would have eventually done it somehow, somewhere.
All I will say is if someone you love is depressed get help fast, and don't get fobbed off. Perhaps I'm alarmist, but you will understand why.
MIND is a good charity that we discovered when it was too late. I could write all night, but it would bore you all.

Not in our experience my mum was offered appointment from gp at hospital in 3 months. Was then urgently admitted. Did it in the hospital where she was supposedly being looked after. Had been in for 2 days and never seen by anyone due to administrative cock up.. To top it all off consultant phoned on night it happened to say if he had seen her day before it wouldn t have happened! There was a full enquiry ect to what happened and offered public enquiry but didnt want it in papers etc. She had a district nurse that came to see her once a fortnight before who helped alot but stopped coming due to cut backs. NHS did nothing for us.I do agree that if someone really wants to do it they will.

As said above, the more people who come forward and speak the less stigma there is attached to depression and suicide, Thank you both for speaking out. It isn't just in farming where there is still the stiff upperlip.
 

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