Far Gloss
Member
- Location
- Shropshire sy5
I’m thinking of you, as I go about my work, As I’m sure many others on here are to.
Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)
- Thread starter Andyrob
- Start date
Pieces_of_Eight
Member
Definitely sending my thoughts.
Everyone has days when things go wrong or nothing goes right, but what you've been through must be every livestock keeper's worst nightmare.
Just try to put it behind you, in the past. Concentrate on the ones that need your attention and try not to get bogged down tormenting yourself about what has happened.
Talk about it, if it helps, or come back to this thread if you need to share.
Everyone has days when things go wrong or nothing goes right, but what you've been through must be every livestock keeper's worst nightmare.
Just try to put it behind you, in the past. Concentrate on the ones that need your attention and try not to get bogged down tormenting yourself about what has happened.
Talk about it, if it helps, or come back to this thread if you need to share.
- Location
- Lincolnshire
I know that feeling well!
Take it steady.
- Location
- S E Glos
There are a lot of people, although you don't know them, who are thinking about you. You have to try and feed off that. Best wishes
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
after what happened i'm not surprised ....recognize this as a perfectly natural reaction .....only time will heal this episode ....in the meantime try to focus on some positives in your life that perhaps you take for granted....give it a week if you still feel really bad why not pop along to your GP...a little something to take the 'edge off'....needn't be permanent
like a lot of others i was thinking of you today
Lili
Member
- Location
- Aberystwyth hinterland
Thinking of you and your family. Best wishes
Blod
Member
Anything in particular ?
Edit.
Ok, I’m out of touch, and out of date. Just know there is on e more person sending supportive thoughts.
Friesianfan
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
I just keep telling myself it will take time. Trying to put a brave face on for the children who don't know. It would really upset them. The cows mean a lot to them as well
Christoph1945
Member
- Location
- Widnes West Cheshire
Hi Friesianfan,
it is with very great difficulty that I can even begin to imagine what you are presently going through and how you will possibly cope with the ongoing situation.
As I ponder what little that I do know, from reading some of your posts in other threads, I got to wondering how old you are (37?), how many children you have and their ages, and how long have you been farming? I am also guessing that you may be angry; very angry?
All silly townie thoughts, I suppose; but bare with me and let's see where they take us.
it is with very great difficulty that I can even begin to imagine what you are presently going through and how you will possibly cope with the ongoing situation.
As I ponder what little that I do know, from reading some of your posts in other threads, I got to wondering how old you are (37?), how many children you have and their ages, and how long have you been farming? I am also guessing that you may be angry; very angry?
All silly townie thoughts, I suppose; but bare with me and let's see where they take us.
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Friesianfan
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
Thanks for your concern @Christoph1945 . Yes I'm 37 with a lovely wife and four children aged 8,6,4 and 5 weeks. Been farming all my life, with my family until 7 and a half years ago when I took the tenancy of this farm. The original plan was to make enough money to have bought my own small farm by now, but keep getting set backs. Beginning to wonder if it's worth the stress of it all. I don't really get angry, just quiet and dwell on problems. I'm feeling bewildered and exhausted at the moment
Holsteinfriesian90
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
Thinking of you all. Try to stay positive (easy for me to say I know)
Christoph1945
Member
- Location
- Widnes West Cheshire
Children can often be far more robust and resilient than we adults give them credit for. When my farther-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer and we took him home and nursed him through until his final breathes, our young daughter said that she was more upset by having been left out of the loop; and we thought that we had been protecting her from the prolonged emotional pain that we were all undergoing. A bit of sod's law I suppose; your damned if you do and you are dammed if you don't!
You may, perhaps, find it helpful to sit around the tea table and talk the whole matter through. You may even find that the kids can inject some imaginative ideas into the conversation. They will certainly inject some childlike (not childish) love into your present dilemma. Easy for me to talk; I know!
It was good to hear that you are in contact with a Methodist minister who is very supportive; but then again it could be a rabbi, a vicar, a priest, or even a close friend. It's good to talk and the FCN would be a place for people that really understand the details of your situation. Me, a townie, didn't even know what that stuff was that your cows ate but I do now. I do remember the time when a cattle food production company accidentally mixed fire retardant with their product and the outcome was horrendous for some farmers and their stock.
Will you be covered by your insurance? Where, exactly do you stand now, and what is it going to take for you to fully recover from the present blow? Prior to this situation, what were the other setbacks that you write of?
Chris
You may, perhaps, find it helpful to sit around the tea table and talk the whole matter through. You may even find that the kids can inject some imaginative ideas into the conversation. They will certainly inject some childlike (not childish) love into your present dilemma. Easy for me to talk; I know!
It was good to hear that you are in contact with a Methodist minister who is very supportive; but then again it could be a rabbi, a vicar, a priest, or even a close friend. It's good to talk and the FCN would be a place for people that really understand the details of your situation. Me, a townie, didn't even know what that stuff was that your cows ate but I do now. I do remember the time when a cattle food production company accidentally mixed fire retardant with their product and the outcome was horrendous for some farmers and their stock.
Will you be covered by your insurance? Where, exactly do you stand now, and what is it going to take for you to fully recover from the present blow? Prior to this situation, what were the other setbacks that you write of?
Chris
Lili
Member
- Location
- Aberystwyth hinterland
@Friesianfan only you can make judgements on how you deal with your situation but I would agree with Chris in perhaps telling the children. They pick up quickly that something is wrong and will worry more maybe from not knowing what has happened. From what you say the cows are part of their life as well as yours. They will be upset and I am sure there will be many many tears but at least you will be sharing your grief as a family together. We love and want to protect our children from all bad things as much as possible but sometimes the unknowing is worse. They can also be the most amazing support at times like this. My best wishes to you all
glasshouse
Member
- Location
- lothians
What is happening?
Friesianfan
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
Think I had a schmallenberg calf today. Now my milk isn't cooling . Haven't had a cow with mastitis for a long time. Got one with ecoli now.
Think I'm going to have to put my survivor down tomorrow too.
Remind me why I do this?!
Think I'm going to have to put my survivor down tomorrow too.
Remind me why I do this?!
CopperBeech
Member
- Location
- A Welsh man lost in England
Dear Crystal,
I'm so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I'm not sure there's any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it's sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don't love yourself that much.
I've found that it's of some help to think of one's moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:
Here are some obvious things about the weather:
It's real.
You can't change it by wishing it away.
If it's dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can't alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.
BUT
It will be sunny one day.
It isn't under one's control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.
It really is the same with one's moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. Not one's fault.
BUT
They will pass: they really will.
In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. "Today's a crap day," is a perfectly realistic approach. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. "Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage."
I don't know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.
Very best wishes
(Signed)
Stephen Fry
This was a letter that Stephen Fry wrote to a girl who wrote to him about her depression. I think they are some pretty wise words.
I'm so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I'm not sure there's any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it's sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don't love yourself that much.
I've found that it's of some help to think of one's moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:
Here are some obvious things about the weather:
It's real.
You can't change it by wishing it away.
If it's dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can't alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.
BUT
It will be sunny one day.
It isn't under one's control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.
It really is the same with one's moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. Not one's fault.
BUT
They will pass: they really will.
In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. "Today's a crap day," is a perfectly realistic approach. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. "Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage."
I don't know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.
Very best wishes
(Signed)
Stephen Fry
This was a letter that Stephen Fry wrote to a girl who wrote to him about her depression. I think they are some pretty wise words.
Holsteinfriesian90
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
Because your a British friesian harder than a bag of nails you will get through.
Friesianfan
Member
- Location
- Cornwall
That made me smile!
Christoph1945
Member
- Location
- Widnes West Cheshire
You said to remind you why you do this. You do it because you have a dream and dreams really "can" come true.
You told me that you have been in farming all your life. I'm guessing that you lived and farmed with your parents and I'm wondering what they may have done and said when you branched out on your own?
Chris
You told me that you have been in farming all your life. I'm guessing that you lived and farmed with your parents and I'm wondering what they may have done and said when you branched out on your own?
Chris