Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[spin cycle]

Anyone ever been on antidepressants? If so did they work?

don't work for everybody....they do for the lucky ones like myself....i take citalopram....if i forget for a few days my mind starts letting the 'black dog' in....i realise take some and i'm soon OK

 

[Timbo]

Do feel better and less anxious but they gave me a constant low level headache and some dizziness - citalopram also.

 

[CharcoalWally]

It's important not to get too wound up about Xmas and the new year. Don't worry what everyone else is doing or spending and treat it like a Sunday lunch with the family if your not bothered.
First year without Dad this year and family all came on boxing Day, so me and Mrs SF met some friends in the pub at lunchtime.
It's also good to have some other interests that get you off the farm. With me it's football and a bit of shooting, so sat before Xmas and New year's Day was footy, with our shoot on 28th, so nice to see people.
I know some will say you've got stock etc, but you really do need to organise things and make the effort to take a break.
Someone pointed out to me, that we think nothing of spending money on maintaining our machinery, stock and farms, so shouldn't feel at all guilty about looking after our physical and mental health.

Like like like and like again @silverfox !

Interested to read of the "pressure" that people say they feel over Christmas. Most important thing to remember is that Christmas is not the same thing for everyone , and means different things to us all. If it's more bearable to treat it as an ordinary day , then do just that. If everyone else around wants it to be special , then you either join in , or you work out a way in your own head to keep it all in perspective. Once we're past our teenage years , then we all have a tongue in our heads to say no to things we don't want to do.

Yes I work Christmas Day feeding cattle. Have done all my adult working life and then for a few years before that too. Love working on Christmas Day. Wouldn't like not to ,wouldn't feel right , be a bit boring. Walk into the sheds in the morning and wish all stock , dogs and cats Happy Christmas. Even that makes me smile!

I like it because it's my take on Christmas. It's me doing things that I enjoy doing , and not worrying about what everyone else is spending their day doing.

The key is being free , happy , and contented in your own space , and in your own head.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

Sorry to hear everyone's having bit of a tough time of it. Hope you all feel better soon! X one positive outlook is that the days are lengthening, maybe not by much but definitely a little by little Jan got off to bad start for my family, my great uncle died after long battle with cancer, last night worst part was because he was in so much agonising pain, vomiting up blood and requiring transfusions, scared stiff he was, that was 2 weeks ago, they upped painkiller dose and he passed away peacefully, which is comforting somewhat. If things get a bit much for us we need to be able to take a step back and look at things from another person's perspective. I found in my darkest moments that book "polyanna" really helped me. Always finding something to be glad about. I tried it and now I can't stop really works!
Chin up guys you'll be fine. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk to anyone about stuff. I listen good and try to advise where possible, not all advice is best ofc but I try to help where I can

 

[glow worm]

I agree with you Chris, I really do, but the day off is often seen as a luxury which the self employed can't afford. I was once lambing 600 ewes out and I was burning the candle at both ends. I was running on an empty tank and I was seriously run down, the DG insisted that I see the doctor, I did, he said take a couple of days off.

I suppose that he meant well!

As a footnote, I was 20 years younger then, and just as with most things, I got through it!

Mine tells me to sit and do nothing for at least a week and to take a long holiday!

Yup, I managed the half day off on the Monday but to do so, it was a case of running around doing extra for days before and running around doing extra for days to catch up after

 

[glow worm]

Yup, I managed the half day off on the Monday but to do so, it was a case of running around doing extra for days before and running around doing extra for days to catch up after

Sounds familiar! Thats about the norm for us, except after all the running around, something usually happens and we dont get off farm anyway!

 

[Alicecow]

@waterbuffalofarmer so sorry to hear of your loss. Make sure you take time for yourself.

To everyone else; I don't have any answers, but I do agree with what @silverfox & @CharcoalWally have said. Going out to see to the animals is a good escape if that is what you want to do, it doesn't have to take all day, just long enough to give yourself a break.

 

[Big_D]

Anyone ever been on antidepressants? If so did they work?

Everyone's different, they can take a while to kick in and might need to try different ones. Some people seem to be a magic cure all, others it's just part of the 'toolkit" to fix you

 

[JWL]

I'll never forget the first Christmas after I'd got married, it was before kids came along and I was shepherd on an estate in South Warwickshire running close on 1300 ewes. My wife had persuaded me for us to have Christmas dinner at her parents 40 miles away in Coventry. The ewes were all in open yards by then so fed and sorted, check round the ;remaning fat lambs that were still out quick change and we were off. The moment I walked through their front door the phone went off with the farm manager saying that a bunch of fat lambs were out. At least he did get them back in himself, turned out some dog walker had left a gate open to the road that they'd found.
Even though they were sorted I couldn't relax with the out-laws and it must have been the quickest Christmas dinner I've ever eaten. Looking back it was a saving grace as Ex-Mother-Out-Law's cooking was absolutely crap, the daughter's wasn't much better in the finish either

 

[Christoph1945]

All this talk of the pressures of our Christmas "celebrations" prompted me to recall something that I had forgotten. Our daughter, who was in college in Preston, wanted to visit a friend's farm up there and I was drafted in as chauffeur.

It is the memory of the stable that is presently spilling over into my mind. The sun had gone down and the stable was lit by a bare electric light bulb that cast a yellowish light about the enclosure. A girl tussled straw across the floor with a pitchfork and the gentle noise of the horse's movements and breathing, accompanied by their odours, filled the place with a kind of peace that was almost unreal. Even the occasional scrape of the pitchfork on the concrete floor didn't break the spell! I suppose that the very first Christmas must have been very "similar", just before the baby was born.

Being in a stable, I suppose that Mary kept the baby close to her body and the mother-baby bond became very strong.

May peace surround and envelope you all as we move forward to meet the challenges of the coming months. The wife and I spent part of yesterday searching for appropriate sympathy cards for a number of friends who have lost family members over the last week or so. For them, I suppose, Christmas may never be the same again.

Stay safe, stay well, and be aware that we are "all" progressing to better days.

Chris

 

[Cowmangav]

I don't think people realise how bleak things are in Ayrshire. The problems are physical ,on top of any mental difficulties.

 

[Christoph1945]

Following on from your post Gav, I googled Ayrshire and the first thing that came up was a whole load of broon and white coos!

The wife and I once spent a week in a farm cottage in the borders and there was little more than acre after acre of dead tree stumps. Our poor dog didn't know which leg to stand on.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

I remember listening to a programme on radio 4, 2 weeks ago was it? About insomnia and depression. Took me back to an incident last April-May. I was lambing the sheep at the time, early starts late finishers and my sleeping pattern was up the creak, due to getting used to longer daylight hrs, and the sun really shining through my curtains. Tried all sorts, relaxing music, herbal relaxents for drinking, putting blankets over the curtains. Nothing worked. In about the space of a week I was just lying on the sofa, temp didn't help, just wanting to die. Thinking about death. Sleep is such an important thing, even tho I got through it and got used to the time change, although it gets pretty bad when clocks go forward and back (like jet lag) still dreading April-May. Has anyone any recommendations of how this can be fixed to be prevented in the near future? Last night for example I went to bed at half past 10pm and slept 1 hr, then lay awake till nearly 3 am before sleeping... They say you need at least 7-8 hrs for it to be healthy.

 

[Jameshenry]

I remember listening to a programme on radio 4, 2 weeks ago was it? About insomnia and depression. Took me back to an incident last April-May. I was lambing the sheep at the time, early starts late finishers and my sleeping pattern was up the creak, due to getting used to longer daylight hrs, and the sun really shining through my curtains. Tried all sorts, relaxing music, herbal relaxents for drinking, putting blankets over the curtains. Nothing worked. In about the space of a week I was just lying on the sofa, temp didn't help, just wanting to die. Thinking about death. Sleep is such an important thing, even tho I got through it and got used to the time change, although it gets pretty bad when clocks go forward and back (like jet lag) still dreading April-May. Has anyone any recommendations of how this can be fixed to be prevented in the near future? Last night for example I went to bed at half past 10pm and slept 1 hr, then lay awake till nearly 3 am before sleeping... They say you need at least 7-8 hrs for it to be healthy.

I agree with the above post, sleep is essential for our mental and physical health , getting enough sleep is something that i struggle with at times , not looking forward to April at all !

 

[Rossymons]

I've been struggling with sleep disorder since GCSEs.

It's a difficult thing to explain because many people use it as a badge of honour surviving on 5 hours sleep.

Sleep deprivation is still a recognised form of torture. That's how important it is to us.

 

[Big_D]

It hadn't ever occurred to me that some people struggle with the spring clock change and longer days, for me it's the autumn change and shortening days I dread. Think sleep becomes more elusive if you think of it as a problem and think about how you won't manage to sleep. Thinking of you in Ayrshire cowmangav, July onwards hasn't been great down here but not a patch on what you lot have had. Has there been anything done by nfu etc to address fodder shortages?

 

[Pieces_of_Eight]

I'll never forget the first Christmas after I'd got married, it was before kids came along and I was shepherd on an estate in South Warwickshire running close on 1300 ewes. My wife had persuaded me for us to have Christmas dinner at her parents 40 miles away in Coventry. The ewes were all in open yards by then so fed and sorted, check round the ;remaning fat lambs that were still out quick change and we were off. The moment I walked through their front door the phone went off with the farm manager saying that a bunch of fat lambs were out. At least he did get them back in himself, turned out some dog walker had left a gate open to the road that they'd found.
Even though they were sorted I couldn't relax with the out-laws and it must have been the quickest Christmas dinner I've ever eaten. Looking back it was a saving grace as Ex-Mother-Out-Law's cooking was absolutely crap, the daughter's wasn't much better in the finish either

Reminds me of my last Christmas day before I got married.

I do the cooking, so I'd put it all in the oven and was just about to relax and pour a drink. Then the phone rang, someone with a horse that needed shooting urgently. I told my fiancee to look after the oven and occupy her parents and I put my boots on and went for the horse.

The vet had beat me by a few minutes and jabbed the horse before I got there, so I loitered out of the way of the various kids (in floods of tears) until the vet had done his bit, then winched the horse on board and headed back for my turkey.

It was probably the final straw that pushed me into a career change.

 

[waterbuffalofarmer]

One lady interviewed was undergoing cognitive therapy, where she had to go to bed at a certain time and set her alarm for bang on 6 o clock, then she had to get up and start her day. So far she said it's worked and is truly amazing. Provided those times stuck and she follows rules she sleeps a good 6-7 hrs sleep deprivation not only increases risk or death by mental torture, IE suicide, but can age you and decrease your life span. I think with the cognitive therapy it's a case of putting you in a psychological routine. Humans respond well to this, like you would train a cow for milking for example (not that I'm comparing animals to humans, bit in terms of routine we and they do well ). I think some of it is definitely down to stress, sometimes even diet. I have heard inhalations of essential oils or burners with relaxing oils in can help to relax the mind. Hot bath with them in before bedtime is also very good. I use ylang ylang oil in the bath, very relaxing. Lavender is very good too. Sometimes a few drops of lavender on your pillow, or mixed in with massaging oil and rubbed into the temples is good. Failing that ASMR is very good, as is meditation music. I have a few links if anyone wants I can send to ones I found helpful on YouTube they help me up to a point but not always, like last night. Chin up guys all will be well. Take everyday as it comes and with every problem faced, face it with logic, look to what things will be like after, keep that in your mind's eye and it does indeed truly help.

 

[Stevethemeat]

I suffer depression and have done as a consequence of the foot and mouth 2000 time
Routine keeps it in check through the rough winter months but what triggers it to be deep depression is things that you Carnt controll or put right eg error on bps form caused by an incompetent person in Rpa
Bank manager reducing overdraft without warning arthritic pain after sheep escaping getting the sheep back in no problem but frustration with the pain after causing increased depression
People not doing what they say they will do
All these things and you all have many like them are out of your controll and that triggers it most of all

 

[Cowmangav]

It hadn't ever occurred to me that some people struggle with the spring clock change and longer days, for me it's the autumn change and shortening days I dread. Think sleep becomes more elusive if you think of it as a problem and think about how you won't manage to sleep. Thinking of you in Ayrshire cowmangav, July onwards hasn't been great down here but not a patch on what you lot have had. Has there been anything done by nfu etc to address fodder shortages?

I'm not really aware of anything organised , happening about the fodder shortage , but that may be my mistake.