Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Old Tip]

I need to sort myself out as well. I feel I’m on a downward spiral since Christmas
Started 6 months back when relationship I was in broke down. Rachel had been suffering severe depression which was difficult for both of us.
I vowed to stand by her and be there for her but the illness seemed to push us apart. It was if it made her isolate herself from everyone. She did get better when Spring came but she wanted a break thought her feelings for me had changed. Before too long she met someone else. I thought it was a rebound at first but 6 months later she’s still with him
We have been in contact constantly since and I’ve tried so very hard to get her back. She was the love of my life and it has affected me greatly.
Not helped with her saying I was her rock, her lifeline and being with her through the dark days probably saved her life. So is it any wonder I’ve ended up so mixed up. I still love her she says she will always care about me
What’s got to me is that I’ve missed out on the happy times when she got better and someone else has got that without having to go through that
I have to drive past her house every day and seeing his car there is a torment. I’ve ended up like a lovesick teenager instead of someone nearing 60 and it’s affecting my life. It’s hard running a business with all the day to day problems, sorting staff out paying bills etc when she occupies my head all the time. It’s not so bad if I’m busy but driving about etc gets my head into melt down. She knows how I’m feeling and is so sorry I’m hurting
So I think I’m going have to try doctors even though I’m s*** scared of becoming dependent on pills

The doctor should be able to help you get some counselling as in my case that was far more helpful than the pills. It’s hard to move on and talking to someone about your pain and anguish can help eventually.
Good luck and let us know how you get on

 

[BobGreen]

The doctor should be able to help you get some counselling as in my case that was far more helpful than the pills. It’s hard to move on and talking to someone about your pain and anguish can help eventually.
Good luck and let us know how you get on

Yes I’m trying counselling as well going for second session tomorrow
Talking with good friends has helped but they don’t really understand why I still feel this way after all this time

 

[Christoph1945]

Some twit once said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I wonder
if he/she ever felt the deep heartfelt grief that one feels at losing a deeply loved partner. Letting go can be
the hardest thing to do but it can bring deep healing of the wounded heart......I know........easier said than done!

 

[BobGreen]

Some twit once said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I wonder
if he/she ever felt the deep heartfelt grief that one feels at losing a deeply loved partner. Letting go can be
the hardest thing to do but it can bring deep healing of the wounded heart......I know........easier said than done!

Yes I do wonder sometimes why I bothered
Why I went through all the grief of trying to care for her whilst she was suffering because it just drove a wedge between us. I stood by her because I loved her deeply but in the end I still lost her. I think that's why the pain is so great. She knows how I feel but no matter what I've tried or said has made any difference and just caused me more pain
It's an addiction I have to break

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Don't be too hung up on the stigma of anti depressants @BobGreen, or being dependent on them.
They are just another tool in the box that we can use to our advantage, ANYTHING that helps is worth doing.
In my case - just to give some background - my wife suffered terribly from anxiety, depression, and alcohol would likely bring on panic attacks that would end up as seizures much like an epileptic would experience it definitely gave us some testing times, years of them, eventually we got her off the antidepressants and onto antianxiety medication and she is a new woman - confident, bubbly, her psoriasis has cleared up, and she's just started work at a local cafe; so things do get better with a little help... don't be discouraged if the first script has little impact on how you feel.

- It is a shock, in some ways; we both convinced ourselves that we were happy hermits and staying at home, and now we are seldom all at home other than a Sunday, incredibly liberating!

Never give up, as I've said to others, I'm usually lurking on here if you need an ear. 13 hours ahead of GMT, so that's why Roy and I are always partying in the wee smalls

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Some twit once said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I wonder
if he/she ever felt the deep heartfelt grief that one feels at losing a deeply loved partner. Letting go can be
the hardest thing to do but it can bring deep healing of the wounded heart......I know........easier said than done!

It only hurts because it matters....

In saying that, I have 100% success rate when it comes to getting through bad days, we have amazing depths and amazing stamina when it comes to surviving them.

I actually find the most interesting people in my life all have had similar experiences to what we have lived through.. I can only guess it comes down to better understanding our self... and relishing the small joys and small victories the way we should

 

[Christoph1945]

Bob, I have read and reread your most recent posts and do believe that it is essential that you share your "deepest" thoughts and feeling with both your GP and a close and trusted confidant.

The right tablets, counselling, and perhaps in depth sharing will help to ease the vice like pressure of the situation and give you some space to heal.

You are already heading in the right direction.

Stay safe, stay well, and trust that we all do care.

Chris

 

[marshfarmer]

Not so great today, one of my terriers took off yesterday and was involved in a hit and run, my silly fault. Broken leg and head injuries but stable, first I knew was a call from the vets. Wanted to kick my tablets as I'm so tired in the day but reading online what the withdrawal is like seems as bad as when I first went to the docs. Start calving soon, hope it all levels out.
Hope everyone else keeping safe.

 

[Alicecow]

That's a bummer. Any witnesses, reg number, etc?
As far as I know, if you hit a dog (with a car) you have to report it. Who took the dog to the vets? If it was the driver you may be able to trace them.
However the little chap recovers quickly. Terriers are made of tough stuff - and so are you

 

[marshfarmer]

No I got all the info second hand, my ex was the contact on the chip, they took off someone took the dog into a shop and they phoned the vets, she was over 3 miles away from the farm, just can't understand it they never leave normally.
Oh for some sunshine.

 

[Lili]

Sorry to hear about the dog. Re your tablets - don't know how long you've been on them but I think it can take a while before they really get working so don't stop. Don't be worried about going back to your GP to discuss things if you don't feel you are making any progress. Hope the sun shines for you soon. Best wishes

 

[Christoph1945]

Sorry to hear about the wee dog and hope it recovers real soon. As for the tablets; try and stick with them for the time being and don't forget that depression and stress sap us of our energy and easily drain our resources. If you Google "beating depression" you will come across loads of advice and guidance for beating depression; much of it echoing what you will have read in these thread but presented by medical professionals.

Victory over depression/anxiety "can" be gained.

Chris

 

[Old Tip]

What a shame about your poor dog, hope it pulls through, last thing you needed at the moment. At least your ex had the decency to get in touch with you and let you know what was happening.

 

[marshfarmer]

Thanks all, I know there are people going through far worse things on here so I don't want to take up too much space. I hope we start to get some better days when this cold snaps passes through, really wears you down, but the yard is drying up, I've found some concrete under the mud yay!

 

[Wiking]

Sounds good @marshfarmer , it won't be long until spring comes around again and the sun alone takes some problems away.

 

[Alicecow]

It's easy to say that there's always someone worse of, and indeed there often is, but that doesn't invalidate how you are feeling or how things are for you. This is a safe thread for anyone to post as much or as little as they want to and fellow posters will respond with help, support and advice.
I most certainly agree about the weather, this winter is certainly dragging on, it's getting to me too. At least it's dry at the moment, but that icy wind just goes through you

 

[Old Tip]

Well said @Alicecow, I feel this place is always there for me and others when we need to let folk now how we are feeling. Seen too many lives lost over very small issues through lack of understanding and folk bottling everything up. No two people are alike and everyone has their own stuff to deal with and sharing your thoughts and problems with others is one way of feeling a big better about things

 

[Alicecow]

Not forgetting that some people don't share their difficulties but do draw strength from reading this thread anyway.

 

[Old Tip]

How’s folks today

 

[spin cycle]

How’s folks today

good thanks.....don't know why particularly....except i was able to more/less finish muckspreading over the weekend