Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[RobFZS]

Yerr i think she might have hit rock bottom

She managed to see the doctor this week and they've put her on anti depressants and she has to go to counselling of some sort, not sure how effective these are, but it's a start

adding on from this, i dunno if it's part of the depression, but she's got no feelings for anything including me, she doesn't think the anti depressants are doing anything for her so shes going to review with the doctor now, but i'm in a position where i cant really keep talking to her without her wanting me so i'm just gonna have to cut contact with her abit and hope she miss's me.

 

[czechmate]

adding on from this, i dunno if it's part of the depression, but she's got no feelings for anything including me, she doesn't think the anti depressants are doing anything for her so shes going to review with the doctor now, but i'm in a position where i cant really keep talking to her without her wanting me so i'm just gonna have to cut contact with her abit and hope she miss's me.

Sorry to hear that rob. They take around a month to kick in. Has she been taking them that long? They maybe do have a numbing effect too?

 

[RobFZS]

Sorry to hear that rob. They take around a month to kick in. Has she been taking them that long? They maybe do have a numbing effect too?

Thanks, she's been on them around 2 / 3 weeks and no change so she tells me, she gets abit irritated when i talk about us so it's probably best i didn't for now, not sure if that's all part of it, i dunno if i'm talking to the real her, or a different side that is being tinted by the depression, she puts on the act that shes moved on, but i cant see how you can after 5 years in 3 weeks.

I think she's over the stage of thinking dark thoughts anyway, so that is good.

 

[BobGreen]

Rob
I said before this is a mirror image of what I'm going through. Have you any idea what the medication is which she is taking ?
In my case things looked like they were improving. We had a great weekend 3 week ago even went with her clothes shopping on the Sunday which was a first. The next weekend she was busy with her children so couldn't do much but we kept in touch and things seemed fine
Last Thursday I got a text in the morning saying she loved me so much and I called round on way home everything seemed fine
Later on I got a text saying we needed to talk. She says her feelings have changed and thinks we have grown apart and it was time to end it
Like yourself I'm totally baffled how things have changed so quickly and wonder if it's the drugs doing the talking

 

[JWL]

All that you can do if you care for someone is to stand there and take the crap, take the good days, chalk up the bad days as part of life's rich tapestry and don't brood on them but most of all, just be there, not in an overbearing way and don't crowd them.
Life is an arse, it's not all pretty flowers and cherubs ,it can be the harshest thing you will ever come across and the only way through it is to be patient and understanding.
What you must be prepared for, even if you don't want to think about it, is that all your efforts may be to no avail and as hard as it is, you may have to walk away.

 

[RobFZS]

Rob
I said before this is a mirror image of what I'm going through. Have you any idea what the medication is which she is taking ?
In my case things looked like they were improving. We had a great weekend 3 week ago even went with her clothes shopping on the Sunday which was a first. The next weekend she was busy with her children so couldn't do much but we kept in touch and things seemed fine
Last Thursday I got a text in the morning saying she loved me so much and I called round on way home everything seemed fine
Later on I got a text saying we needed to talk. She says her feelings have changed and thinks we have grown apart and it was time to end it
Like yourself I'm totally baffled how things have changed so quickly and wonder if it's the drugs doing the talking

Citalopram with a 10mg dosage a day is what shes on

i've met her up with her a few times and everything seemed like normal, like a couple, but we wernt, just giving her space for the time being as i don't know what's the real her

 

[troubled]

Wish you the best @BobGreen and @RobFZS . Its hard knowing what is going on at times with or without a diagnosis of depression. Hopefully things will settle down for you both in the way that is best for both of you and your other halves.

 

[spin cycle]

Citalopram with a 10mg dosage a day is what shes on

i've met her up with her a few times and everything seemed like normal, like a couple, but we wernt, just giving her space for the time being as i don't know what's the real her

10mg is quite low IME...20mg would be more normal....citalopram is a seratonin uptake inhibitor,,,it'll take time to work...ATB

 

[Martinamachine]

just been reading some of the previous comments and most people have a partner , I am on my own and have been for the past 3 years .

 

[Martinamachine]

10mg is quite low IME...20mg would be more normal....citalopram is a seratonin uptake inhibitor,,,it'll take time to work...ATB

I was on 20 mg of citalopram but went up to 40 mg from last september but down to 20mg again don`t think it is enough

 

[Chae1]

just been reading some of the previous comments and most people have a partner , I am on my own and have been for the past 3 years .

There is a farmers dating thread in off topic. Never know your luck!

 

[Martinamachine]

There is a farmers dating thread in off topic. Never know your luck!

no thanks been married twice staying single for now thanks

 

[Christoph1945]

I can't recall anyone else mentioning it in this thread but we have to take into account that some of the ladies may be going through the change of life and their hormones are quickly changing their daily view of things.

Once a woman commences the changes that take place during those times all hell can break loose and when one is not aware of what is going on it is very difficult to know what to do. Been there, done that, and we both have the bruises and scars to prove it!

A good gp should be able to spot this; providing that people are honest and talk to him/her as a couple.

 

[BobGreen]

I can't recall anyone else mentioning it in this thread but we have to take into account that some of the ladies may be going through the change of life and their hormones are quickly changing their daily view of things.

Once a woman commences the changes that take place during those times all hell can break loose and when one is not aware of what is going on it is very difficult to know what to do. Been there, done that, and we both have the bruises and scars to prove it!

A good gp should be able to spot this; providing that people are honest and talk to him/her as a couple.

Yes that could be likely she's 49

 

[spin cycle]

I was on 20 mg of citalopram but went up to 40 mg from last september but down to 20mg again don`t think it is enough

i started on 20....moved to 40...but i keep forgetting to take them ....so probably average 30

 

[RobFZS]

i started on 20....moved to 40...but i keep forgetting to take them ....so probably average 30

How long was it before you could tell a noticeable difference?

 

[spin cycle]

How long was it before you could tell a noticeable difference?

when i first started on 20mg i was 'woosey' or a bit 'out of it' for about 2 weeks....then felt ok.....but i'm told it can take a month

what i will say is if i miss about 3 days i can recognize the symptoms returning ....i've also known ppl that take medicines....feel better then stop

 

[Spartacus]

when i first started on 20mg i was 'woosey' or a bit 'out of it' for about 2 weeks....then felt ok.....but i'm told it can take a month

what i will say is if i miss about 3 days i can recognize the symptoms returning ....i've also known ppl that take medicines....feel better then stop

Don't the doctors take the anti depressants away after a while though? Or are they just permanently on repeat as long as you feel you need them?

 

[farmerclare]

Don't the doctors take the anti depressants away after a while though? Or are they just permanently on repeat as long as you feel you need them?

I've been on antidepressants for a long time, mind you I don;t think I will ever be able to come off them

 

[Christoph1945]

If one goes cold turkey and cuts drug intake abruptly one can expect to suffer withdrawal symptoms that may be worse than the original symptoms that the drugs were prescribed for.

Coffee, tea, and cigarettes, if stopped instantly, can produce withdrawal symptoms. Personally I learned the hard way, by having my supply of high doses of Valium cut instantly and took one of the deepest trips into anxiety/depression that you could possibly imagine. Not realising what was taking place and not understanding anything about withdrawal symptoms I was lost between nightmare and reality.

Take it easy, take your time, and take advice.

Above all, don't bottle things up, and talk!

But then again, for those trying to help the anxious/depressed, be swift to listen and slow to talk.