diary of a comedy sheep farm

[spin cycle]

just in SOoo tired...headache

set twins

fert on field to be grass

big lunch...slept it off

5pm back to work up field...ready for drilling

SNOT 15

 

[Cab-over Pete]

Get your head down, otherwise you'll be getting writers block!

 

[delilah]

thanks...my creative/funny 'powers' arn't at full crank at the mo....but they'll return

I can guarantee that you will be on absolutely full form and full of the joys of spring at 4.45pm today

 

[carbonfibre farmer]

I can guarantee that you will be on absolutely full form and full of the joys of spring at 4.45pm today

The way their going......

 

[spin cycle]

OK...recap sun/mon.....ill...felt exhausted....pushing on with last of cultivating/ drilling/fert....we all ,i guess, have our own 'achilles heel' and mine is my neck.....any stress/tiredness/illness/ dehydration and the left side of my neck swells up and tension headache results

finally today i finished sowing/rolling the grass and rolled the spring barley....the first fodder beet are up as well...as i got done my neck started to recede and after lunch it was shower and r&r....until mum phoned to say a ewe was lambing....by the time i arrived and she'd lost the second

anyhow back to my sort of 'lightweight' theme......sometimes on here i read the content and feel totally inadequate as to what others seem able to do/accomplish....i hope i'm not the only one cos it's confession time.....looking back it's taken me 24 days to get in 26 acres of barley/beet and grass and it's near killed me....the only defence i have is that everything else has been kept up to date (hep , worm,lambing fencing ect)...mums had shingles...i havn't bodged or pushed my machines....talking of machines my plough/cultivator/rolls/drills ect wouldn't gross £1000 total at auction so techniques are very 1970s ...but very cheap

couple of bits of good news....firstly i didn't get much deducted for that 'splitter' i sent....mum's gonna phone them to see if they're up for anymore....secondly i bumped into a neighbour who has a decent bit of grass spare and will sell my 14 ac of wheat straw this harvest

right essential services only for rest of the day...lasagne for tea....then 'cuddles' wants to play 'setlers of cattan' with 'boy' and i ....a game in which you get to utter the immortal phrase 'i've got sheep but i need wood'

SNOT 15

oops forgot footy....how rubbish are city...can't even beat stoke....fortunately leeds are worse so it looks like we're up

 

[Spuddler]

Have a rest you deserve it
Blimey if your worried how little you are getting done I should be very worried what I get done some days.
What's the SNOT factor or are you waiting for an end of day result

 

[CaliMo]

.sometimes on here i read the content and feel totally inadequate

Right with you there! Even reading your posts!

'cuddles' wants to play 'setlers of cattan' with 'boy' and i

But if your kids want to play games with you and you want to do it, you have certainly done something right. A lot of somethings, actually. I tried to play this once with my 'boy' and was much too inadequate. Way too complicated.

 

[Cab-over Pete]

Inadequate? Bollox. Never mind what anybody else is doing. They’re probably exaggerating anyway. Every spreading contractor I read about seems to do 25,000t per year with one spreader.

I don’t do that with two!!!!

But I don’t care. Just do what you do well.

My Dad would always say when setting us up for work in the morning, at the moment we turned to leave, “Do the best you can”

That’ll do for me.

 

[spin cycle]

right so 'boy' won the first game of 'cattan'.....i was one 'sheep' away from winning.......................right time to change the rules a bit to introduce some violence

 

[spin cycle]

OK...wasn't planning an entry today but just back from lambing shed...one of 'K's ewes needed a bit of help with twins...+ colostrum the balance of which just fell off the van dash over my pjs....sticky legs

this morning i fed + looked round as 'boy' + mum had done last 2 and i thought it time for my 'trained' eye......next off to get trailer + ibc for watering sheep in next village....back at yard our little soay x wilt had a lamb...a teg also starting....mum arrives and says it's time to go to the 'glaven centre' for a bath...it's the first time in a while cos o the shingles and it's strictly on the condition i stay and wait....driving down i realise my fuel is on 0 miles....anyhoo she's only 30 mins...i do some calcs for bps claim

home again and soay +teg are struggling...soay second has head back and legs underneath...teg just needs a little help ....take filled ibc to field and lunch

easy afternoon but grumpy we've had no rain

teatime...fall out with 'her highness' over putting her back on car insurance....'boy is on it' she grumbles...' he helps me willingly' i bite back....mrs spin refs

'cinders' is off on school trip to parliament on friday and needs some 'supplies' so off she and mrs spin go...i'm out of baccy but she won't get me any...now i'm grumpy.....phone rings...mrs spin has forgotten a fete meeting...boy comes back from karate and along with 'cuddles' we decide on a game of 'catan'.....at this stage i'm just back from 9pm check of lambing shed and had to help the rather skitzy aforementioned ewe to lamb...twins...but is there a third....RIGHT....it's no good ...off to blakeney spar for baccy.....driving down i realise i'm shorta fuel...the last range reading i had was 20 miles and blakeney is 5 miles.....quick calc....two return trips....20 miles......the possibilty is i'll run out ...but worse i've only got pjs and fleece on....i make it back

we play our game...'cuddles' makes a fatal error in building a settlement on my road junction denying me a place to build and interrupting my longest road.....final straw in my 'grumpathon'....he is placed under a trading embargo,no more mr nice guy and i ruthlessly finish them both

back to farm ...no third....and thats where we came in

 

[firther]

Inadequate? Bollox. Never mind what anybody else is doing. They’re probably exaggerating anyway. Every spreading contractor I read about seems to do 25,000t per year with one spreader.

I don’t do that with two!!!!

But I don’t care. Just do what you do well.

My Dad would always say when setting us up for work in the morning, at the moment we turned to leave, “Do the best you can”

That’ll do for me.

yes same as when someone tells you they had a real day at market, but they only tell you top price they made and not the average

 

[spin cycle]

WHERE'S MY FECKING RAIN......grumpily i set to work tidying a bit of leccy fence...the 'voss' isn't happy 4.2 volts and 1.8 short....i get damp...but not much else....after my work i check again....no change

overnight we'd had another teg have a single....are we 'off' again.....'boy' and mum do rounds and arrive back with hungry twins....it's a small batch of ewes + lambs and the even smaller meadow has had it.....i want to hep+worm them so we get them in...conc,straw+ fb and they're happier

remember 'blossom'...well she's only gone and pegged it....awkward to the end in a patch of nettles...after our guests go out i retrieve from the field with teleporter....in yard with bucket of dead herdwick there's a well turned out lady trying to deliver mum's pills....I MEAN WHY?....everytime i have a dead ewe there's someone hailing me...waving ...smiling...it'd been just my luck if i'd accidently touched the lever...tipped blossom out and she'd exploded all over the front yard...but no (phew emoji)

lunch...email bps man with details who's getting a bit twitchy

nap time...it's raining...overflows gutters....but doesn't last...enough to cheer me up though

back to farm...few odd jobs...5pm think about home...'they've messed up my pills' mum explodes....off to holt medical practice i go.....'hello young man ..how are you?'..the man in the wheelchair who used to supply me with hay+straw...older than me but all action... chickens cattle, contracting,hay/straw...last time i saw him he'd just bought a microlite....the man now crippled by a stroke who's having to sell his farm....what do you say?....my worst nightmare...i smoke with elevated blood pressure.....my only mitigation is that i don't drink,decent wt ,the sheep keep me active but i don't bust a gut/hurry

home ...but not for long....'cinders' is off on a sleepover before an early start for school trip to houses of parliament tommoz....we moved her from fakenham academy to sheringham hs just before christmas over 'friendship issues' (as they put it) and she's changed dramatically ....all of a sudden she wants to work hard and get into top sets and is less obsessed how she looks...the polar opposite of her behaviour at fakenham.....'boy' and 'her highness' both did very well at fakenham but looking back 'her highness' would get up 2 hours before leaving to get the right 'look'

glad i had that nap today

 

[Cab-over Pete]

You can’t beat a cheeky daytime nap.

 

[spin cycle]

'what are you going to do about it?' mrs spin asks in frustration....i've just woken up and at that moment i didn't exactly know....the side door to our utility room which was already 'distressed' is further damaged...it'd needed replacing for sometime....so much so if you forgot your key you could with a little 'tap' force the catch past the holder to get in.... sometime ago i'd decided that wouldn't do and screwed it shut...HOWEVER...this was not known to 'her highness' and arriving home keyless instructed 'cuddles' to 'effect entry' which he did....but not at some cost to the remaining 'fabric'.....'why didn't you just go up the farm and get dads key' mrs spin chastises 'her highness'...'well i wasn't feeling well ...and y'know'.....TBF she hasn't been well...she's a bit of a 'delicate flower'

i'd been asleep cos i was 'fenced out'....'dude' had been over and we'd been leccy fencing two new bits of grass...he'd arrived at 10:30 just as i'd exited 'headless chicken mode'.....everything was round straight but i was running late....earlier i'd looked at my neighbours paddock i was having....the fence was a bit of a mess so we decide i'll put a fence inside it then sort out next winter....he's considering stewardship and quizzes me ...i tell him honestly the pros and CONS...back at the yard...no lambings...'we've no fuel in the mule' says mum....none in the cans so of to bale garage....home...then back to garage as i'd left the cans by the pump....trouble is when i'm doing something i'm already thinking about the next....thats my excuse anyway...best bit is when i take the can to the mule it's got plenty of petrol

anyway 'dude' and i fence til about 3:30....ciggie + coffee break but no lunch....we then put some hay round and he departs happily....'lacey' lambs...single....her partner in crime 'cagney' had twins t'other day....during the drought these two shearlings were always 'on the lamb'....sleeping on the cool concrete apron of our north facing grain store...having a bit o breakfast from mum...then dissapearing for rest of the day.....i've a secure paddock for them now

i get home about 4:30 minutes after 'cuddles' has 'opened' the side door....i'm so fecking knacked i crash out til mrs spin arrive home with 'cinders' who's late back from a school trip....just this minute those two have fallen out majorly over a pile of clothes on the landing...ah domestic bliss

 

[Cab-over Pete]

Your house too then......

 

[spin cycle]

Your house too then......

not with you

 

[spin cycle]

productive morning....nice teg with single....rat size twins by another....mislaid spectam....do the rounds...ewe with mastitis

'K' arrives + cracks on.....off to 'arkwrights'....by the till he has a bakewell fruit slice...the last of a four pack...'i want that' i try cheekily...'no..no...no' chuckles 'arkwright'.....mums order compiled and signed for i try again for the bakewell...'arkwright' caves.....'granville' is beside himself with mirth with my success....that bakewell friut slice is really nice

back at the farm we go thru a small batch of ewes+lambs...hep,worm and check for orf

noon...fry up and home

back to shed 4pm ish....ewe isn't letting the single born this morning suck...adopter....of the 'rat twins'....i find spectam...one hungry,one not

tonight is the village 'safari supper'....basically participants go to each others to eat...but change venues between courses...it's 'gerrys' initiative....originally it was called 'tramp supper'...i thought that meant we had to dress...well as tramps....realising this could be politically incorrect 'gerry' now calls it 'safari'......anyhoo...i've got out of it...citing city on box v blackburn...win or draw we're premier league....before that pigeon club.....so i suppose it's shower/shave time

SNOT 15

 

[primmiemoo]

I do like running the words "we've no fuel in the mule" as an earworm in what I can manage of a Norfolk accent

Have a fun safari supper. Your lovely 'gerry' really should be benchmarked as a hub of community.

 

[carbonfibre farmer]

Roll on 7.30pm!

 

[Cab-over Pete]

not with you

We have all the same arguments here!