diary of a comedy sheep farm

[Lili]

Are you certain your sheep are sheep and not steeplechasers in diguise?

Thanks for taking the time to write your diary - always a good read at the end of the day.

 

[spin cycle]

OK...bit behind.....weds...fell out with mum over going to glaven for bath....i know she hates it but she must look after herself plus that was the deal with mrs spin taking on her cleaning...i was past caring TBH....i'm doing the farm to please her after all....took my latest 'fallen' in to knackerman...on the track i see a cyclist who's obviously lost....he pulls over..a whiff of my trailer...he turns back

thursday....'K' and i fence an awkward shape piece of grass....more on that later....pm took last load of ewe lambs in to abbatoir

friday...one of the many disadvantages of my stewardship scheme is the various plots dotted around that after use need something else done with..eventually you end up with a bit of a pickle....so it is with a little 6 ac field...1.5 ac nectar mix...3 ac grass...1.5 ac ex overwinter stubble...the latter went back into grass this spring but i had a little spring barley seed left so...sod it...in it went, with some westerwold. for disposal in nothing else....now i need that 3ac grass and link it with a next door 'remnant' 2ac...it's a fiddle fencing it and i've only just enough posts/wire....not enough to section off the new sown piece though...'arrgh that'll be alright'.....let them on thursday....today off colour lamb......good strong lamb....the type that gets pasturela.....took him home...jagged him....off to treat 3 ewes for feet i got in wednesday (all dorset x BTW)....later notice lamb is up...sullen...but after water.......could it be bloat....the barley isn't lush...but.......dose him with bicarb...NOW...trouble is it might not be bloat but now i've thought it i can't leave it can i....off to fakenham...fence+ wire....partition it off

get home...read on here about RPA not getting renewal forms....posted mine may 3rd...but mislaid the 'signed for' slip FFS

 

[delilah]

fell out with mum over going to glaven for bath....i know she hates it but she must look after herself

you chuck your mum in the river ? I know Norfolk is a bit, how shall we put this, backward, but it's about time you moved on from these medieval cures

 

[spin cycle]

you chuck your mum in the river ? I know Norfolk is a bit, how shall we put this, backward, but it's about time you moved on from these medieval cures

you arn't gonna give me a heap of trouble when you come week after next are you...BTW...you do know 'en suite' means 'next to a ditch' up here

 

[delilah]

you do know 'en suite' means 'next to a ditch' up here

home from home then

 

[spin cycle]

friday isn't quite finished..i forgot some 'snot'....at least 'alleged snot'....11am a villager pops in to tell me there was an ewe+lamb on the road at the futherest northern boundary...by the time i get there someone else has stopped but the 'snot' has gone back into the field...i find some fence down....deer...it makes up my mind though...time to move them

sat morning looks set to be hectic....mrs spin and the girls and 'cakes' and her girls are doing a sponsored 'bubble rush' run/walk in aid of east anglian childrens hospital.....it's basically a course with various inflatables filled with coloured bubbles along the way....mrs spin has organised me for ice cream run 10:40....but forgotten about barn changeover...last minute she gets a friend to cover but i'm detailed to hoover....before that though we have some ewes+lambs to turn into a small paddock...cue benny hill music ....before moving the aforementioned other group that goes smoothly.....we finish just in time for me to cover my allotted chores

at the bottom of our lane i meet an elderly lady in a little red car looking slightly distressed....'are you ok' i ask...'well'.. she starts..' i had car behind me weaving this way and that...whether his steering was faulty or he was drunk i don't know so i pulled over'....now i ask you what kind of arsehole runs old ladies off the road...wish i'd been there

the rest of the day i take it easy....makes a change...then it's over to 'kirks' for lads dinner...chilli....meh not my fave but he makes all the effort so i mustn't be churlish....anyhow a few drinks ...the five fifties males talk about our lives....'kirk' tells the others i havn't got a life....'he works everyday for virtually no money' he declares....i'm not offended...he's kinda right....except i know for a fact there are many, many ppl that would swap with me...he's just seeing it from a 'suburban' mindset if that makes sense

today...mildly hungover....essential services only

 

[yellowbelly]

.'he works everyday for virtually no money'

Hmm, kind of reassuring to know it's not only me then

 

[Cab-over Pete]

Join the club.

We sat and had drinks with friends yesterday, one electrician, one IT super brain, one nurse, one cabin crew on BA long haul.

All admitted they basically had no idea what our life entails or what half the things I say mean! We’ve known them years.

Anyway, smashing people, so we just got drunk and ate crisps and chocolate, a language everybody understands!

 

[spin cycle]

monday.....didn't feel great...light rain all morning....spent day tidying/catching up on paperwork...needed doing....last kill sheet not great....hopefully new rams will sort that....some of the back ends are already growing outwards.......emailed NE they've got my 2019 application....but silent on when i'll get paid for 2018

today....busy.....'dude' and 'K'...march 2 group of lambs had final hep...april lambs first dose...all wormed/ fly....ewes fly....few orf cases seen to....went smoothly apart from 'mcenroe' who did a couple of laps over fences.. hurdles..humans ....put her in trailer to take to field eventually....had it on anyway to take the 'escape committee' (cagney,lacey +the soay) and their lambs to the 'pen'...our most secure field in bale...perhaps i should've taken 'mcenroe'

after lunch 'dude' knelt in spaniel poo whilst we did a little adjustment to fert spreader....TBF he took it really well....put some N on new sown grass...one corner not come up great....next week is farm walk for church funds...we're going straight past it

 

[Cab-over Pete]

We all have patches like that.

Anybody who says they don’t is a liar.

 

[spin cycle]

wednesday

finally getting remaining housed sheep sorted....nz suffolk +exlana x rams in with beltex + bel/texel....no fights....but somehow i've put a dorsetty ewe lamb in there to....ahhh what could go wrong.....all the sheep have been fly treated bar the replacements+ culls...next week

took mum down to 'glaven centre' for a bath...she had to wait....as did i....hour and a half.....now i've been seeing this elderly large gent walking about the shelterd housing nearby and it looked like he was getting a mobility scooter cos a van turned up...unloaded scooter....and soon he was trundling about under direction from the rep...two things struck me....one why have the front light on as it can't help the leccy...the other was the joy/exitement on the mans face.....it was sad then when the rep took it away....hopefully it was a demo and he'll have one

back at the yard i'd forgotten i had a little fert left in the spreader.....i put this on the little bit barley/grass i fenced off friday.....the 'bloaty' lamb is still alive...i'm not 100% sure it was bloat....he had pale eyelids witch round here is haemonchus....jury still out......washed spreader.....found bad batt connection on oldest 885xl...sorted...duals off and onto mower

lunch

after it was cultivate up remaining fallow ground for winter bird food and a bit of stubble turnip....blimey it was hard....finish up/home

we're not done though.....general panic at home late tuesday....cinders dropped her phone and washing machine on blink....i'll summarize tuesday evening...........anyhow mrs spin ordered washer....next day delivery and after much wailing nashing cinders raises money for new phone......mrs spin completes purchase......but first washer doesn't arrive as promised and it'll be a week....to long...then late last night it transpires the phone seller is a scammer....mrs spin + cinders fell for the screenshot bank details as his 'paypal not working'...how convenient.......cinders finds no trace of original seller...but finds him again on same site...same items...different name....panic.....also has mrs spin bought another washer from argos (where i told her to go in first place)....are we now expecting two machines......fortunately 'her highness' returns chastises the pair of them then proceeds to dupe the scammer into giving a screenshot of his bank details....saved...the onto barclays scam line....there's a decent chance of getting money back we're told..... finally mrs spin has not bought the argos washer yet and is going to cancel the former first

i've said it before...and i'll say it again...i loike cheques

ps as 'weeta' is now reading this i've the odd deliberate spelin error.....just to annoy him as he's a champ speller apparently

 

[yellowbelly]

i've said it before...and i'll say it again...i loike cheques

Me too.
There's another good option but you rarely see it nowadays - it was sheets of paper with the Queen's head and some numbers on it. You could keep it in your pocket and swap it for stuff

 

[Cab-over Pete]

Stuff like beer and chips and gravy and sex.

So I’m told.

 

[Downunder]

Stuff like beer and chips and gravy and sex.

So I’m told.

All in that order too?!!!

Come to think of it it's just as well I might never have gravy again!

 

[spin cycle]

OK....been a it slack writing....don't know why...been a bit lethargic TBH....whether it's cos it's a bit warmer or lighter....dunno

anyway @delilah has arrived...'i knew this was the right place when we saw that ewe+lamb in the yard'...FFS we havn't had any 'bogeys' for days....i'd left a hurdle unlatched to the 'pond meadow' but there wern't supposed to be any sheep on it....this ewe is a m8 of mcenroe and have come from further afield ...the 'bogey' is now contained but 'mcenroe' is still at large...as are some orphans that worked out they can get over the hay bales...ahh tommoz problem

thurs 7am mum phones ..'the pony is dead'.....up i go....emotions mixed about the space it's going to free up against mum/her highness/cinders wailing......anyhow she's not dead....colic or laminitis...she's pooing and her hooves arn't hot....get her up....she's uncomfortable.....her highness arrives in tears...vet summoned.....she's as baffled as i am....but some buscopan seems to do trick.....vet orders she loose 75kg.....we move her into old lambing section.....thats the day fecked apart from moving some ewes+lambs to fresh grass and essential services

friday....feck me can't remember

today....'K's away....only worked this morning....odd jobs plus got track at bottom of farm ready for farm walk wednesday night......back to farm about 5pm and we're back to where we started

 

[Gator]

Could of been interesting getting the dead horse out

Glad it's on the mend

 

[spin cycle]

back in the days of yore ...in a rush of blood...i bought a small catering trailer...never really used it...parked up for a store.....anyhoo mrs spin decided it might be salvagable as a second ice cream trailer....only trouble is...it really was in a hedge....a sapling growing through the towing frame the last time i looked had become a little tree.....trunk 10 inches thick...grown into the frame.....amazingly with a chainsaw and teleporter we've got it out....tows...does need attention though....mrs spin happy though so thats something

first thing this morning 'her highness' and i fence the pony's paddock so the orphans can go on....just as well really cos some of them were already on it....the ewe that greeted @delilah was out again...put back with lamb...later she's out again ...other than that reasonably quiet day

 

[spin cycle]

ok....'operation pigeon loft'....fresh from my success with the 'trailer' and while i had the forklift at 'spin towers' i thought i'd load my 12 yr old 12x6 loft onto a trailer and relocate to the farm....the plan was fraught with danger though....on the plus side it's a solid lump...plywood roof and floor...interior frame making it strong and on a timber skid that i'd built in case i ever wanted to move it....on the other hand it was partly in the hedge...12 yrs old and i was in full 'bodge mode'.....'dude' was concerned and kept suggesting this that precaution......i was confident but prepared for a potential pile of drift wood....dragged it out....forks underneath...up...dude suggested strapping it on...NAHHhh....up the garden onto the trailer.....not often job goes like that

mrs spin + dude gutting old trailer

first thing this morning i did couple hours of pasture topping......listening to radio news it occurred to me that you could have some really good comedy skits with brexit and monty pythons 'life of brian'....aka john cleese playing farage in a 'what have the EU ever done for us' parody.....to keep it even vince cable as 'biggus dickus' in a sketch on how 48 is a bigger number than 52...my fave though...'brexit party suicide squad' where they run up and chuck milkshakes over themselves

 

[yellowbelly]

first thing this morning i did couple hours of pasture topping......listening to radio news it occurred to me that you could have some really good comedy skits with brexit and monty pythons 'life of brian'....aka john cleese playing farage in a 'what have the EU every done for us' parody.....to keep it even vince cable as 'biggus dickus' in a sketch on how 48 is a bigger number than 52...my fave though...'brexit party suicide squad' where they run up and chuck milkshakes over themselves

 

[primmiemoo]

Inspired!