diary of a comedy sheep farm

blackieman83 · Jun 28, 2019

spin cycle said:
i'd put the tool et al somewhere 'safe'...just couldn't remember where

Good to know other people also have these 'safe' places to store stuff!!

spin cycle · Jun 30, 2019

saturday

not much to report....'K' came in and she and mum checked all the sheep enabling me to get on....'K' had a rough couple of days...first her mum reacted to some steroids

....up to A&E....then her daughter took a tumble off a pony....back to A&E

.....both ok touchwood....but A&E is 35 miles away and not the best roads

i meanwhile hitched up to our 'magic box'.....it's an old blue kidd strawchopper which has had a fairly 'agricultural' conversion

....the bottom flap at the back was hacked off and crudely hinged to the top and the static blades removed....voila a swathwilter

.......driving along the pick up tines lift the swath...it's then bashed by the rotating blades.....the flap then directs the grass back to the ground....it's relatively slow ...1 ha/hr....but it saves days of haybobbing....typically i can cut one day...magic box the next...row up and bale the next

....i take over to fils and do first bit.....the grass is very green/sappy....wet weather

.....it won't be 3 days this time but forecast is good

....fil drives me home later.....we chat....there's exactly 20 years between us....we're very similar...'dinosaurs'.....raised in days when if you worked hard you'd be ok and by and large you were left alone to get on with it......those days long gone

home...bath...listen to afghanistan narrowly loose to pakistan.....the latter is my tip for world cup...though it's hard to see anyone beating india or aussies.....pigeon club

spin cycle · Jul 1, 2019

sunday
bit of a lie in then a confused start....mrs spin off to re stock ice cream van after a busy sat

...sunday was quieter :scratchhead:

...but i digress

....cinders was supposed to going over a friends 11am but her plans change..'can you take me now?'

....9am...i pop up check mum say i'll be back to check sheep trundle home to get cinders...meet 'K' on the road...she volunteers to check sheep...brilliant

....i drop cinders off then straight to fil's to 'magic box' last of hay...i drop a gear...toodle along...listen to cricket

.....noon i finish then check stuff i did sat...feck me

....dry as a bone

...i can bale that as soon as i like

anyhoo....mrs spin + her highness come over....bbq

......boy arrives a bit frazzed he's been officiating at a karate grading after two late nights and coping with his housemates emmotional meltdown that they're all going their separate ways after 3 years of uni

..watch cricket cos fil has sky

.....later i have a little tractor run as i take elderly nash + 'box' home.....suns in my eyes...there's a cyclist

....dark clothes in shadow of hedge

....near miss

.....never mind....if carlsberg did sundays

monday
1st July....we can cut stewardship grass...most i'm leaving..i grazed it early then left...it's terrific mix of plants....wild clover...other flowers and some wild orchids

.....the areas to cut have a bit to much nettle + thistle but the ground is alive with pollinators

....mid morning i'm interrupted cos mum has a docs appointment....finish mowing.. lunch....was hoping to get haybob over to fil's pm but she needs some tlc

....quite a lot of tlc

.....fortunately it's only for rowing in ...finish repairs tommoz

CaliMo · Jul 1, 2019

Assuming there's still no sign of Parcelforce or you would've said? Saw the UPS man today, but it's not quite the same. Don't think he hangs out in lofts (or grain bins either), and he definitely doesn't have nice feathers.

spin cycle · Jul 2, 2019

funny old day

first up 'boy','K' and myself set to catching up some ewes + lambs...to worm +fly the latter....mrs spin arrives..'no hot water in the barn'....ffs it's the newest system we have

...it's gone wrong again

.....ladder out i investigate

....trips ok...fuses ok :scratchhead:

.....only thing is some of the pegs on the clock timer are down...seeing as we don't use the timer since we changed the system should they be up or down :scratchhead:

....i retire to phone plumber...they'll ring me back....i wait

....'K' and 'boy' set to worming....40 mins no call

.....i wander out and my staff have nearly finished

.....they get clear then i fly treat....back out the woolies go

....'K' departs to check sheep in Bale....'boy' gives me a hand with haybob

....we finish...'boy's' last job is to take dozen hurdles down to next catching pen....off he goes....i open gate / close.......20 mins later i'm in exec. boardroom rollie + nescafe

...i hear 'commotion' ...next thing approx 40 ewes+lambs charge past...pursued by boy....getting outta the field hasn't gone smoothly

........they stop at grainstore and bleat translates 'WTF is this doing shut'

....they're bought off and returned with some nuts.....but is 'mutiny' in the air

lunch...boy departs

now the rotospreader and haybob share a pto shaft....the rotospreader had it last and thats in an outlaying barn....i combine fetching it with mowing a strip round the new ley ready for fencing....i havn't looked at it for couple of weeks....

it's hay height

.....time for a grazing rethink :scratchhead:

....i head home ...take topper off...haybob on

....decide to knock off early as i want to see 'gerry' before she goes to scotland.....lady churchwarden and i are taking our 'family service' on 14th....i'm doing 'front of house'.. 'lc' is doing talk (good samaritan)...i want to just discuss coupla bits

.....ANYHOO...any of you heathens want to come??

....field dalling church 11am 14/7/19....live music...tea and biscuits....and ME

(snottage permitting)

SO...i get home...check cricket score....bangladesh have a chance

....next off to gerry's....but no

...'K's daughter has spotted some of our sheep out from school bus.....by the time i get to the farm a neighbour has rung mum

......off we go again they come back no trouble...fresh paddock...sort something tommoz

......hour later get to gerry's...tea + cake

bangladesh loose

...not by much though

PARCELFORCE.....has still not returned

...i was talking to 'pigeon boss' about him...he's also missing a pigeon from the same race that had taken 6 racing positions last year.....'did you do anything different' 'pb' asks.....'yes i started to feed him' my reply.....'ah ...he musta got to fat....whilst he was looking after himself he was ok' states 'pb'....y'know i think he is right

.....still mustn't give up hope....the 'swiss' gotta pigeon home from that terrible race few sundays back...nil desperandum an all that

edit ..total 'snottage' for day 75+

primmiemoo · Jul 2, 2019

Keeping fnigres crossed like crazy, Spin.

Come on, Parcelforce!!

(And all the best to you for the 14th.

)

spin cycle · Jul 4, 2019

busy haymaking

tuesday.....moved some sheep then in rush of blood decided to cut another 10ac hay....wasn't happy with mower :scratchhead:

.....spent time fiddling

....end result...back to intial set up and touch of sunstroke

....sent my apologies as i was supposed to go to pcc meeting

.....mr gerry reports good review of farm walk

wednesday.....took haybob over to fil's...made a start...hit electric fence

....fil comes and takes over and i get lift home to fetch vermeer baler......get to field.....first bale.....'engage' my new tying modification....it ties

.....but doesn't cut string

......looking at it i think i've the two string guides positioned wrong

......what to do :scratchhead:

...spanners out or resort to getting off tractor every bale to manually actuate tieing + cutting mech :scratchhead:

......i'll let you guess

.....net result 12 bales an hour + touch of sunstroke

.....mother in law rolled her eyes later...'keeps you fit i suppose'

.....best is that it's still twice as fast as my old welgar

.....crop is massive....best i've encountered since 2010

......pick up some haybob tines along the way....fil is having a lovely time

in defense of my vermeer...i only paid £400 for her 5 years ago and she's had quite an 'interesting career' with me

....perhaps i'll tell you her story one day

Cab-over Pete · Jul 5, 2019

In the next exciting instalment!!

spin cycle · Jul 5, 2019

Cab-over Pete said:
In the next exciting instalment!!

i probably get sunstroke again

Cab-over Pete · Jul 5, 2019

I had that once, so I feel your pain.

We went to a fantastic Suffolk Punch heavy horse working day near Kidderminster and it was hot as hell. We were drenched in sun cream but I didn’t have a hat on. I drove about 5 miles home and starting feeling like I was totally mattressed, drunk as I had ever been, so got my wife to drive.

I had hangover symptoms for three days and still to this day if I get too much sun on my head I’ll start feeling the same.

The best cure I find is to ACTUALLY get totally mattressed in Worcester Wobblejuice.
Well, if you’re gonna feel shite there might as well be a good reason for it.

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2019

friday

got boy up to do rounds with mum...i head off to fil's hay field

....slight dew so i get spanners out and do some fiddlin :scratchhead:

...makes no difference

.....so off i go on my 'baling circuit training'

.....later trawling round here i find a couple of other posters who've,at times, dismounted every bale for various reasons....cheers me up

....finish the field i'm on by lunch

apres....just a couple of little bits left....it's a five ac piece but 2ac in the middle are untouched....fil describes it as 'rabbit country'...he's not wrong

....massive warrens....ferreters dream

...anyhow i arrive at eastern piece....there's the odd cowpat :scratchhead:

....fence is open :scratchhead:

....i make a start

....20 mins later 6 cows lollop into view.....they look nice so i ignore....then they decide to play with the bales which amuses me

...then they start to trash the bales

and a white/brown thing decides to make a further break for freedom

.....i stop to intervene...now i'm pretty sure these are semi cull cows but the 'lollop' is replaced by a fair turn of speed and frisking/ bucking

....my efforts to drive them back fail

....in the end they descend onto rabbit country...i secure the fence and retire to farm for help

....they behave and are mustered quite easily in the presence of their master

onto the last bit

......after about 8 bales there's a 'bang' loud noise while she's empty

.....goes away once she starts to fill :scratchhead:

...i ignore

.....2 bales later theres a whiff..smokey smell...i look round for a local bonfire :scratchhead:

.....carry on.....2 bales later i decide to investigate under a cover that states 'oil chain every day'

...news to me

.....i find the cause of the banging/smokey smell...bearing gone on a belt roller

....what to do :scratchhead:

....about 6 bales left to do....i carry on

.....what da y'know i finish

back in yard i put hose over baler and tractor....have a cuppa + rollie ....check she's cool and head for home

.....might be time to investigate another baler

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2019

saturday

scuppered by light rain....i was going to 'magic box' the home hay...but that couldn't be done....i'm to tired to fret TBH plus any rain this time of year is welcome....i check sheep in Bale cos i havn't been round for a week ('K's been in charge).....'feck those lambs look ready

....almost to ready

'......arkwrights next then back to farm....mum and K report minor snottage

.....we move whole mob to their summer pasture...our low stewardship meadows

....lots to do but i don't want to do it

.....mrs spin hails....bath plug in barn playing up

.....temporary repair... but list of minor plumbing jobs increasing....time to enlist a pro

lunch ...home...nap

NOW...it's lerwick pigeon race weekend.....our club is represented by 'SPK'..'pj'..and the 'swiss' ....the latter i advised not to send...i don't think he has enough of the right type of pigeon....like in humans usain bolt wouldn't be any good at a marathon just as them ethiopian lads would be no good at 100m

.....that said the race is underway...a favourable N/W wind

.....the first pigeons are getting home...one in norwich has done 525 miles at 60mph

.....he's not going to win though cos there's odd pigeons in lincs doing 70mph

....i hope our boys get one on the day cos that'd be special....once in a generation race conditions today

....best i've done to date was 7am the next day

HOWEVER

...enough of this touchy feely stuff....time for a little 'fun' with the 'swiss'...i get the phone...put it on speaker.....adopt my best scottish accent

.....his wife answers

'I'VE GOT YA DOO' spin
'i'm sorry' mrs swiss replies
'I'VE GOT YA DOO'
'i'm sorry i don't know what you mean'
'YA PIGGIN...'EES ON MI BOET'
'oh i see...thats my husband..i'll get him'
'Helloo..?' (swiss)
'YA DOO...YA PIGGIN...'ES ON MI BOET''
'oh dear ...where are you?'
'KNROSS'
'where?'
' HANG ON. (pause)...RABB ...TIRN THAT SHITE OFF I'M ON THA PHONE ERE....KNROSS...KINROSS'
' kinross...oh dear thats not very good...what colour is it?'
reverting to my normal voice..'i dunno m8 ...what colours did you send?'

a list of expletives are uttered down the line

....we then have a good chat

...i don't normally do wind ups but this was to good to miss....plus i knew he'd take it in good part....plus i never take it to far

primmiemoo · Jul 6, 2019

Oooh, that's a cheek!

And 70mph flying. Wow! Do they ever overshoot with flying so fast?

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2019

primmiemoo said:
Oooh, that's a cheek!

And 70mph flying. Wow! Do they ever overshoot with flying so fast?

sometimes from shorter distances....not from 500 miles + though

yellowbelly · Jul 6, 2019

spin cycle said:
.the first pigeons are getting home...one in norwich has done 525 miles at 60mph.....he's not going to win though cos there's odd pigeons in lincs doing 70mph.

Well, what do y'know?............Lincolnshire's more than 15% superior to Norfolk

........

..............by heck Spin, you left yourself wide open for that one

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2019

yellowbelly said:
Well, what do y'know?............Lincolnshire's more than 15% superior to Norfolk........

..............by heck Spin, you left yourself wide open for that one

nah...living in lincs for pigeon racing is pish easy.....our birds have to cross the wash right at the end......i was press secretary for a pigeon club years ago....all the talk was the birds 'doing the wash'....hence my 'nom de plume' ....'spin cycle'

edit in my pigeon forum days i tormented lincs flyers so much there was a bounty on my head

yellowbelly · Jul 6, 2019

spin cycle said:
hence my 'nom de plume' ....'spin cycle'

I just assumed it was from all them plumbing jobs you keep having to do in the barn

yellowbelly · Jul 7, 2019

spin cycle said:
edit in my pigeon forum days i tormented lincs flyers so much there was a bounty on my head

..........Are you Kofi Annan in disguise?......or is he in your pigeon club too :scratchhead:

(wouldn't you have thought Google would have had more images of 'a man with a Bounty on his head' to choose from

)

spin cycle · Jul 7, 2019

yellowbelly said:
View attachment 817754 ..........Are you Kofi Annan in disguise?......or is he in your pigeon club too

(wouldn't you have thought Google would have had more images of 'a man with a Bounty on his head' to choose from)

seriously...you have to much spare time

spin cycle · Jul 7, 2019

tired ..grumpy start to the day....i often get like that.....i need to get on but things seem to get in the way...you get annoyed by little problems which normally wouldn't faze you at all

finally i get to next hay field with 'magic box'...swath looks quite sad....down 5 days...bit of rain....some green shoots sticking thru it already

....off i go and soon the swaths are looking a lot better

....have a break about 2pm...finish 4pm

home but straight back out again cos i'm needed to take a tap outta mrs spins ice cream van....we get down there...not yet shut....big choccy ice cream in waffle cone

....i sit and watch world go by for a few mins

....struggle with tap...lots of groaning/grunting...i joke it sounds like nookie noises and start laughing

....mrs spin not amused

..'thats boy humour and I'M NOT A BOY'

....tap yields....home

lerwick pigeon news...'pj' got one on the day and the 'swiss' has had a couple today

diary of a comedy sheep farm

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