diary of a comedy sheep farm

[spin cycle]

emotionally shredded after england win world cup....fair slice of luck but who cares....service went well....AWOK for couple a days....boy's graduation tommoz....then off for a night to southwold swan cos it's our 25th wedding anniversary...can't manage any more time cos of mrs spin's dress rehearsals for blakeney players....i'm late....see ya

 

[primmiemoo]

Congratulations to you both

 

[yellowbelly]

A couple of days off

On behalf of all your 'readers', have a few of these on us.........

 

[It was already broken.]

The Swan at Southwold! Things must be good. Have you done a deal and got an advance on a forthcoming 'sheep farming comedy' book deal. Or maybe a TV sitcom?

 

[spin cycle]

home again....everything in one piece

sunday night we stayed locally at the hotel we spent the our first married night at...checked in 'have you stayed with us before?' receptionist asked...'no...er...yes 25 years ago' i replied....'changed since then' she laughs....certainly has.....lacks a bit of personality.....i've a m8 who works in another hotel nearby..'glorified oap home' he descibes it....bit like that here TBH....i eat a big breakfast

onto norwich...park a fair way from UEA on boys advice....not very impressed with uni's car parking effort....ho hum...ceremony a bit late...but eventually we're away....never been to one before.. boy is first of our family branch to get a degree...he got a 2/2 which he's a bit disappointed with i think....but in mitigation he had a big 'wobble' in yr 2....plus it was a minor A level miracle when he went from mock exam unclassified to 'D'......he blames it on getting distracted by his karate....black belt 2nd dan.....i blame 'dungeons& dragons'.....hey ho he's over the finish line ....the ceremony was a bit 'hogwarts' to an uni virgin like me....it was incredibly diverse...i loved it when an african lad got his degree and his lady family members did that sorta 'yoddeling'....then mrs spin told me to shut up when i said ' that bloke looks like the king of africa'...TBH i was jealous of his outfit....afterwards it was drinkys and eats from various stalls + a band...the hog roast i frequented was rather disorganised

4pm we set off for southwold.....just before norfolk/suffolk border i see first combine of season going.......blimey though suffolk is dry....getting close to southwold the grass is brown/dead...eff knows what those ewes are eating....get to 'swan'...very nice....we check in....off for a good wander...really nice evening.....neither of us were particularly hungry which was just as well....'mrs spin' is a bit of a fussy eater and looking at the menu's around the high street it's difficult to find a dish that isn't described in less than 50 words.....it appears the 'unpretentious' diner is not accommodated for in southwold....the 'nelson' is the closest we get but it's heaving....in the end we nip into co op.....mrs spin grabs a salad...me ..some belgian eclairs ,strawberries and cream...at the hotel mrs spin goes for the key....i head to the lift with our contraband

next morning i eat an even bigger breakfast....they even let me take the last of my coffee outside across the market place...i sit on a bench ...finish my coffee with a marlboro lite....these suffolk resorts have less traffic than norfolk ones....i reckon it's because there's only one road in to places like southwold or aldburgh from inland ...in norfolk we have a coast road right round from hunstanton to yarmouth....ciggie finished i pop into WH smith for an anniversary card...oh and some flowers from little veg shop...back in hotel i borrow pen from reception..'congratulations' says the lady 'when is the exact day?'.... 'today' i reply....lady 'cutting it fine' ......me ..'not really we wern't married til 3 o'clock'

another wander round...TBH perhaps it should be called 'Adnamswold'...can't make up my mind if that's a good thing or not.....on our honeymoon we actually stayed at a glorified B&B that had a bar so called itself an hotel...(swan was full..i was bit late booking)......we laughed at the time....i remember we met a german couple in the nelson first night...regailed them with our humorous description.....next morning we met them again at breakfast....in the back garden there was an oak tree....i swear i wouldn't have been surprised to find a virgin strapped to it and ppl in goatskins dancing around .....sadly now it appears to have converted back to a house

we head home...'mrs spin' is a bit grumpy....'i'dve liked to stay coupla hours longer in southwold'..oops on my part...but it was SOoo hot....we call in at the church we were married more/less 25 years to the hour of our marriage

arrive home and 'her highness' has saved the day...table is set beautifully for a tea she is cooking....house is tidy and cool...mrs spin cheers up opening some pressies....'gerry' got her some emma bridgewater.....apparently thats very exciting

right we're all off to watch a dress rehearsal of blakeney players 'midsomer morston'

 

[Gator]

Glad you had a good time spin, chance to relax abit.
I'd watch it in midsomer , jus keep yer eye out for Barnaby

 

[yellowbelly]

'midsomer morston'

Feck ... this could have been Spin's last diary entry

The murder rate in Midsomer is astronomical - he'll be lucky to get out alive

 

[spin cycle]

The murder rate in Midsomer is astronomical - he'll be lucky to get out alive

yeah but property is cheap

 

[spin cycle]

wednesday/thursday...back to business as normal....two struck lambs ... from groups i've not treated a second time yet....and my nz suffolk ram flat out....haemonchus i think....prognosis not good.....remember PA and PB saga.....spoke to the latter today....scratching heads but we've some kinda plan hopefully

been pasture topping...hopefully we'll get some rain over next few days ....i need some fresh grass...moved some shearlings to bit fresh grass in another village...takes pressure off field they were on

feeling a bit maudlin....it looks like 'boy' is going to 'fly the nest' sooner than i thought....we met his set of 'pals' on monday ....blimey they're just babies really...despite this they've all been told to get a job/house/get on with it by their parents...looks like boy will go in on a house share in norwich...i know it's not far...but i've missed having him about the house (boy humour) and bit of odd jobbing....he should be around this summer but it looks like he'll base himself 'up the city' for his training

selfish feelings i know...the last thing i wanted was for him to be thrust into the position i was....but at the same time i'm beginning to wonder if having clever kids is all it's cracked up to be

sad dad of north norfolk

 

[Downunder]

Be proud mate, you've clearly done a great job of raising him. Plenty of Bums out there with no idea! He'll always come regularly if he feels he's not let you down.
By the way it's ok to feel like you do.
Well done mate!

 

[spin cycle]

friday was a bit of a nothing day......grumpy....got on with pasture topping....sweating a bit on where next with various ewes/lambs as grass not recovering as quickly as i hoped

got to bed usual time but 11pm phone goes it's 'her highness' shes been a passenger in a car accident.....thankfully they're all ok....it seems they were just outside norwich...main road doing 60mph behind another car when a jaywalker (drunk) appeared on the road....the first car braked and steered left....the car her highness was in braked but rather than plough into the first car he steered right...across the road into a hedge...the jaywalker went round made sure everyone looked ok and ambled off.....other cars stopping reckoned he was drunk.....scratches,bruises+ very shook up....but very lucky really.......puts my 'grump' into context....we got to bed 1:30am

today...slept in til 8:30...farm 9am....'K' and mum started the rounds but it was time for a move round....last week we'd brought 20 odd fat lambs home...stuck them on a small paddock......next field was a group of ewes+ lambs mum and K had brought nearer to home but they'd had to shut the rams up as they were on the field.....confused?..i know i am....plan was get the fat lambs in to finish (they're virtually there) then put rams on the paddock they've vacated....now start humming the 'banana splits' theme...the lambs all moved quite easily apart from one...he lodged himself in the hedge next to the ewes+lambs...nils desperandum he can go with rams....out come the rams....a suffolk shearling from the other group jumps the fence to join them......so to summarise...the usual cock up
just finished and our latest guests are off...'we've had a lovely time...wish we could move in....we loved the sheep wandering about'....NOW....confession time...i havn't been completely honest about the bogey/snot situation.....remember back in lambing i had a texel x with black lamb and a white lamb?....well she has proved impossible to contain.....she just wanders about on a hefted basis....getting titbits from mum (who rather PC incorrectly calls the black lamb 'coco')...popping down to the fodder beet....bitta grass ect.....she's been joined by 'mcenroe' her lamb and a rather confused exlana x shearling (who actually got caught up with the fat lambs).....so this is now our 'yard hefted flock'

next its off to 'arkwrights'...last week 'her highness' went in for mum....'she's the spitting image of your mother at that age' arkwright tells me......'granville' is full of it...he's a reader now...'you should be on the telly' he laughs

rest of the morning sorting out hay/ water....washing livestock trailer down.....lunch....home for an hour......mrs spin is just back from cromer minor injuries....her highness has muscle bruising and has a leaflet on what to look out for over next week cos she bumped her head.....fudging marvelous....all over the world and just as she's ready for some graft she's crocked....again be grateful i tell myself

3pm i've arranged to meet the son of 'pigeon boss' at the barn...he's a plumber just starting out on his own....just outta the door there's granville wanting to know if his topped grass is any use for hay
i go up farm...set plumber going....go and see grass...i think it's best left TBH....anyhoo it was on the way to binham and so i go to arkwrights again cos we've no bin liners in barn....who do i meet but fil..'you need to cut rest of that hay boy' he tells me....more tommoz

first thing mum had reported one of the struck lambs was dead...he wasn't but i think he may have cnn and that was predisposing the flystrike....vit injection for him and also for nz suffolk tup who i think i'll be able to pull round....eyelid's still bright white though.....other lamb is fine

right i'm fudging frazzed....pigeon club then 'kirks' for supper

 

[yellowbelly]

.pigeon club then 'kirks' for supper

You'd better get a shift on - it looks like they've started without you..........

 

[spin cycle]

manic sunday

so mrs spin,her sister,cinders and one of her cousins had a trip to posh to watch my youngest brother in law do a skydive....that left me in charge of icecream run and weeta at a bit of a loose end

first up 'K' and i sort a couple of cull ewes for local butcher monday....check round then home to take icecream to wells...weeta has rung...would i like him to cart some hay back from fil's...would i......anyhoo back from wells i'm putting mower on when he arrives with first load....i only have a twin axle flat pettit trailer but it tips...so off the bales come onto some grass by the barn and he's back off followed by me with the mower.....i get to fil's field circa 1:30pm....takes me til 5:15pm....the belts are really hot when i've finished....having i been pushing it to hard or is it the start of a problem

back at farm it's quick flick round chores wise....the nz tup can sit up now....home change...pigeon club....then over to the 'swiss' cos he's waiting for pigeons from thurso race....420 miles to us...i take pie and chips...we share...no pigeon home...i commiserate but i did tell him not to send...'swiss' was one of 3 fanciers to send from our club..'pj' and 'spk' the others....now 'spk' got a really good pigeon on the day...about 6th in norwich....at the club earlier his 'other half' ('C') was helping us doing the short race result and baked a cake.....she tells us her story about how she had done a 'bake sale' at her local work for 'help the heroes' recently and how it was an embarrassing flop ....one of her colleagues asked her 'why did you pick this charity?'...C replied she'd two sons (previous marriage) both ex services both afghan vets....they'd come home intact physically but had mental scars....her colleague said 'oh...but it's not as if they're not trained for it' ...to her credit 'C' stopped herself......turns out one of her sons was on patrol with his best m8 when the latters head got shot off...'C's son carried him a mile back to base thru the sewers so his family would have something to bury...'how do you live with that memory' 'C' asks......bloody good question

 

[Hesstondriver]

im off to your neck of the woods this week - I shall endeavour to find this ice cream trailer

 

[spin cycle]

bottom of wells beach car park....covered in astroturf with daisies on it

 

[Hesstondriver]

bottom of wells beach car park....covered in astroturf with daisies on it

dammit you've taken the fun out of it - I was going to drag the Mrs round every purveyor of frozen dairy products from Brancaster to Blakney as an excuse to eat as much icecream as possible in three days !!

BTW does anyone else think the "asshat" smiley thing looks like an upside down ice cream ^^

 

[spin cycle]

blimey hot today...even with the breeze

first thing took the two cull ewes to butcher...we park in a little side street....one in just before me but blimey he takes an age....he eventually wanders out 'oops i've caused a tailback'.....his sidekick trails behind looking clueless....behind me there's a butchers van...trailer with pigs....then a landy.....i get backed up...i'm 8 minutes but 'howey' ( the boss) arrives and is keen for me to get going cos of que....i always get the blame

back at farm mum and 'K' do the rounds then we worm + fly the orphans and waifs...we redo nz tups bedding....he's chewing straw later....bit of fly spray on him to

virtually lunch so i quit...i'm hot + knackered.....back home i take afternoon off but boy and i take 500 odd tiles off the farmhouse later

NOW.....couple of weeks ago i told fil about a jd 592 baler in the 'yard of many bargains'....to my amazement he fancied it so it has arrived....yesterday 'weeta' suggested what a 'happy coincidence' it was that fil has a baler just as my vermeer died...qui moi ?....the cheek of some ppl

fil is impatient to get his new toy going..'row it up and bale?' he asks.....i preach patience

 

[spin cycle]

SPIN CYCLE AND THE HAY FIELD OF DOOM
tuesday
first thing our hero puts the post knocker on the black red 885 and puts some posts in for a new leccy fence...the knocker has a homemade post holder mod...the key is a sheep race pin that locks it...i keep this just behind the wts on front

next its off with the other nash with 'magic box'.....get there ...feck me it's hot....i make a start....fil turns up....volunteers to take over while i go get haybob to row up......back home...postknocker off...haybob on....back to fil's.....on the way i meet a brand new fendt...the young driver smirks at me in my 30 yr old nash....but my old girl was paid for decades ago......that fendt will still be scrap before her probably

NOW this where it all starts to go wrong......when i mowed the field i had a bung up on some scoot work (pike to others) anyhoo it wasn't huge....i got to it...it's hot.....shall i stop and kick heap about?..OORRR.......crack on with machine ?.......it was the final straw for the elderly pto shaft......feck......hot...fed up....i'll just ted up the last coupla acres..weeta arrives and brings me a tub of icecream which is a lifesaver...i finish up...i'm completly 'cooked'.....park up.....glance at wts.....race pin has gone.....dropped in last coupla acres of hay.....i trundle home


onto today.....first thing 'boy' helps me sort the first fat lamb draw...goes well

then i pop over to fil's....he's having a lovely time fiddling with the haybob....'shorta tines boy i'll go get some... BTW so &so reckons the pick up won't handle the estates swath behind their combine'......i remove some bolts in prep then leave him to fix new ones on and get started

back home it's early lunch then off to abbatoir with selected lambs....on the way we meet a combine...class lexion 770 monster....n/s tyre in hedge and still of/s tyre over white line...this is a 'b' road....how much bigger can they get....at the abbatoir i have to wait...it's hot so i drop tailgate....30 mins later lairage chap comes over appologetically.....'sheep stripper has broken down we can't kill sheep'.....no good being cross....i trundle home.....perhaps it's a blessing.....all night in hot lairage....i'll go in early monday and straight to kill.....it's to hot for euphemisms viz 'sheep stripper',,,i dread to think what sorta contraption it is in reality

on the way home i see a jd1170 combining and meet a smaller lexion on an a road...only thing is it's gotta stripper header....havn't seen one of those in years......what on earth they're doing with it is a mystery.....50 mile trip and i've only seen 3 combines.....i used to be able to see 6 working from the high point of our farm

sheep home/settled...pop over to see how fil's getting on....nothing done.....meet fil in drive...'where's tractor key?'.....pause...'in my pocket'.....he goes off to bank....i get started.....i do about half....he does rest later...meet weeta on road hauling some of my hay home

 

[primmiemoo]

It's the de-pelter, spin, don't worry - not such a euphemism.

Glad hay harvest is progressing ... and I'm not the only one to toddle off with tractor key

 

[spin cycle]

getting behind with the 'diary'....must try to get back to everyday

thursday....another hot one...i didn't plan a lot today on purpose.......first up though we got a batch of ewes/lambs in....there are some unshorn ones but TBH they don't seem any more bothered by the heat than the shedders/shorn....nevertheless i get some crovect on them

fil should be baling..i promised to call in.....first there are some errands...take cinders to meet friends in sheringham....surgery to order pills....bank to pay in......then i take 3 bales of straw to 'holt hub'....it's an adult day centre for the disabled....it's also given a home to our pigeon club for which we are very grateful....soo when they asked for some straw bales for their 'norfolk day' festivities i thought i ought to make the effort...i don't know if i can explain it......but it's a 'social refuge' for those sections of the community that don't fit the bourgeois norm...ie pigeon club......the local snooker club have just moved there.....previously they were at the community centre....but the new boss is more concerned with the 'arts' and put the snooker clubs rent up from £2k/yr to £11k.....very nice......anyhow i arrive and place the bales where we get the pigeons ready for racing.....through the open windows the strains of the pop song 'macarena' and a tambourine filter out....the windows have vertical blinds...i try not to look in but i cast a glance......a mid aged man looks back at me blankly but with a hint of fear/confusion....talk about heartbreaking.....those that work there are special ppl

finally i'm off to see how fil is doing with the jd592.....i speculate on the scene...1/ a field of neat tidy bales 2/ a broken baler...my lost race pin sticking out of it 3/ a scenario in between

well there are some nice bales....a broken baler abandonned ....i can't see anything major though so i get to farm....a small drive chain has come off.....hot/bothered fil has retired for a drink....we get chain and head back...i get it on but it's fiddly to join....the 'cat' is on hand....gloved up he manages it....we get the baler going but every now then it's not wrapping.....turns out its operator inexperience....by the end fil knows by the sound of the baler if it's wrapped or not.....he's got 60 odd bales and enjoyed himself so thats nice

HANG ON...who the feck is the 'cat' you ask?....perhaps you don't.....well the 'cat' is my oldest brother in law who 'works' in the dairy....we've always called him the 'cat' cos he's like the cat off 'red dwarf'.......anyhow he departs post chain...i watch fil baling....the cat comes back ...changed... stinking of suncream...resplendent in norwich city top and clean shorts...he's off delivering

4pm i leave fil to it and pop round to mr and mrs gerry.....mrs spin has baked then a cake....they've had their family down for a seal trip to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary....we have some nice bubbly from enfield....the cake coulda done with some custard IMO......but then cake always need custard