diary of a comedy sheep farm

robbie

Member
BASIS
Following a bit of a scare about F&M yesterday........

View attachment 1045210
.......the North Lincolnshire Expeditionary Force are assembling in preparation for their 'push' over the border into Norfolk for next week's Royal Norfolk Show.

The Quartermaster tells me he will stop over at Saracen's Head to take on more supplies, mainly .............
................View attachment 1045214....................and .........View attachment 1045216......

....before we push on to Sutton Bridge. Hopefully the Cross Keys Bridge will be still in tact, otherwise we'll have to build a pontoon over the Nene.

Then it's on, into deepest, darkest Narfuk 😱. Over the Ouse at Kings Lynn and then there's really no turning back.

We should reach base camp at Dunston by Tuesday night. Wednesday will see us push onto the showground at Norwich where some sheep judging will take place (I fully expect to find most of the feckers guilty :facepalm:)

So, how many of you Narfukian contributors will be going? I could be tied up with sheep for quite a while (have to judge Lincolns and then Any Other Longwools) - should be done by dinner time?? :scratchhead:

It would be nice to put some names to faces and maybe have a beer.
If you're about,look out for a fellow, that looks like a flour grader, in a white coat and bowler hat and come and say 'hello'........
View attachment 1045224
...........that's me in the middle.
I'll be there Wednesday with the family.
The trouble is yella your description doesn't help much as there'll be a whole army of white coated, bowler hatted flour graders all very busy around the stock pens🤔 I'd gladly let you supply me with a pint of wherry form the woodfordes tent thought!!!!!!😍😍😍
 

robbie

Member
BASIS
@yellow belly thats a lovely idea, but looks like we will be haymaking this week unless we get rained off 😎
You do know once they’ve got you they may not let you leave ?? 😁
No fear of that, were very kind for show week and let "them there furiners" in from all over but we'll have a task force out on patrol Thursday night scanning the boarder lands making sure they're all heading back, any stragglers found lurking around Friday morning will be tied to ketts oak, tared and feathered!!!!!!!😍😍😍😍😍
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
sunday

note to self....been swearing to much :bag:......must desist :rolleyes:

so after chores i nipped into naam cos turkish lad open on sundays and i thought it'd be quiet(y)

naam was busy:oops:....the centre crammed with scooter enthusiasts and blimey there were some really nice ones and owners dressed the part:love:....only thing was they had some 'bikers' with them:scratchhead:....nice royal enfield....chopper...harley clones...bikers in leathers.... some with 'angel' motif's.......NOW twas a bit before my time but didn't they used to go 'hammer & tongs' at each other with bike chains and razors :scratchhead:....i suppose peace and harmony and all that but, outta respect for tradition, a few 'handbags' with greggs coffee cups and rolled up 'saga' magazines surely wouldn't hurt:scratchhead:

anyhoo got to barbers and twas bit dismayed at how busy he was :oops:...i sit down and 'recce'....young ginger lad with curly mullet in chair....mother and brother sitting down but lad looked liked immaculate so he'd just been done....then a baldish but smart gentlemen....grey hair and beard.....looked like the educated type we get round our bijou cafes....sit around reading times type......but what on earth did he want doing:scratchhead:....we wait...fair enough 'mullet boy' was a bitta challenge.....think ginger curls that'll serve him well with girls in few years time but he was a 'self conscious' age so we gotta let him off:).....eventually done mum turns to other lad 'right your turn now':oops: ....WT (swear filter)...i think.....the boy then has 75% of his hair shaved off leaving a small island of ginger fluff on top:oops:.....i'm a bit grumpy by now these (swear filter) don't need their hair cut.....two more blokes have entered by now and they're immaculate to :banghead:......anyhoo the smart gentlemen is up next....he gets in chair....'usual?' says barber....customer nods....barber then proceeds to shave head and beard right down:oops:......at the end ....customer 'ta mate':oops:....he'd entered as 'cappacino drinking TES reading type' and left as 'uncle fester':oops:.....at least it was my turn next:)

It won't for much longer!🤣

for how long

now that is very rude.....i shall approach the conversion with 'surgical precision '🤔


1656258861980.png
 

robbie

Member
BASIS
sunday

note to self....been swearing to much :bag:......must desist :rolleyes:

so after chores i nipped into naam cos turkish lad open on sundays and i thought it'd be quiet(y)

naam was busy:oops:....the centre crammed with scooter enthusiasts and blimey there were some really nice ones and owners dressed the part:love:....only thing was they had some 'bikers' with them:scratchhead:....nice royal enfield....chopper...harley clones...bikers in leathers.... some with 'angel' motif's.......NOW twas a bit before my time but didn't they used to go 'hammer & tongs' at each other with bike chains and razors :scratchhead:....i suppose peace and harmony and all that but, outta respect for tradition, a few 'handbags' with greggs coffee cups and rolled up 'saga' magazines surely wouldn't hurt:scratchhead:

anyhoo got to barbers and twas bit dismayed at how busy he was :oops:...i sit down and 'recce'....young ginger lad with curly mullet in chair....mother and brother sitting down but lad looked liked immaculate so he'd just been done....then a baldish but smart gentlemen....grey hair and beard.....looked like the educated type we get round our bijou cafes....sit around reading times type......but what on earth did he want doing:scratchhead:....we wait...fair enough 'mullet boy' was a bitta challenge.....think ginger curls that'll serve him well with girls in few years time but he was a 'self conscious' age so we gotta let him off:).....eventually done mum turns to other lad 'right your turn now':oops: ....WT (swear filter)...i think.....the boy then has 75% of his hair shaved off leaving a small island of ginger fluff on top:oops:.....i'm a bit grumpy by now these (swear filter) don't need their hair cut.....two more blokes have entered by now and they're immaculate to :banghead:......anyhoo the smart gentlemen is up next....he gets in chair....'usual?' says barber....customer nods....barber then proceeds to shave head and beard right down:oops:......at the end ....customer 'ta mate':oops:....he'd entered as 'cappacino drinking TES reading type' and left as 'uncle fester':oops:.....at least it was my turn next:)





now that is very rude.....i shall approach the conversion with 'surgical precision '🤔


View attachment 1045392
That picture fills me with dread and I'm a good 25miles away😳
 

yellowbelly

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
N.Lincs
...NOW twas a bit before my time but didn't they used to go 'hammer & tongs' at each other with bike chains and razors :scratchhead:....i suppose peace and harmony and all that but, outta respect for tradition, a few 'handbags' with greggs coffee cups and rolled up 'saga' magazines surely wouldn't hurt:scratchhead:
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

he'd entered as 'cappacino drinking TES reading type' and left as 'uncle fester':oops:...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Literary masterpieces.

Your talents are wasted converting Kidd straw choppers - you should be writing sitcoms for the telly.
 

Sharpy

Member
Livestock Farmer
sunday

note to self....been swearing to much :bag:......must desist :rolleyes:

so after chores i nipped into naam cos turkish lad open on sundays and i thought it'd be quiet(y)

naam was busy:oops:....the centre crammed with scooter enthusiasts and blimey there were some really nice ones and owners dressed the part:love:....only thing was they had some 'bikers' with them:scratchhead:....nice royal enfield....chopper...harley clones...bikers in leathers.... some with 'angel' motif's.......NOW twas a bit before my time but didn't they used to go 'hammer & tongs' at each other with bike chains and razors :scratchhead:....i suppose peace and harmony and all that but, outta respect for tradition, a few 'handbags' with greggs coffee cups and rolled up 'saga' magazines surely wouldn't hurt:scratchhead:

anyhoo got to barbers and twas bit dismayed at how busy he was :oops:...i sit down and 'recce'....young ginger lad with curly mullet in chair....mother and brother sitting down but lad looked liked immaculate so he'd just been done....then a baldish but smart gentlemen....grey hair and beard.....looked like the educated type we get round our bijou cafes....sit around reading times type......but what on earth did he want doing:scratchhead:....we wait...fair enough 'mullet boy' was a bitta challenge.....think ginger curls that'll serve him well with girls in few years time but he was a 'self conscious' age so we gotta let him off:).....eventually done mum turns to other lad 'right your turn now':oops: ....WT (swear filter)...i think.....the boy then has 75% of his hair shaved off leaving a small island of ginger fluff on top:oops:.....i'm a bit grumpy by now these (swear filter) don't need their hair cut.....two more blokes have entered by now and they're immaculate to :banghead:......anyhoo the smart gentlemen is up next....he gets in chair....'usual?' says barber....customer nods....barber then proceeds to shave head and beard right down:oops:......at the end ....customer 'ta mate':oops:....he'd entered as 'cappacino drinking TES reading type' and left as 'uncle fester':oops:.....at least it was my turn next:)





now that is very rude.....i shall approach the conversion with 'surgical precision '🤔


View attachment 1045392
I take that's medieval surgical precision? As in within a couple of inches with lots of blood and screaming???
 

robbie

Member
BASIS
LEECHES :banghead: :banghead: ....i've forgotten to get the fekkin leeches....OWwwww there goes the sh!tten 'swear filter':banghead::banghead:.....i've bin tryin so hard today😭😭😭

View attachment 1045420
I know it's a Sunday and that that your a god fearing chap and all that old squit but don't worry about the swear filter. Sometimes there's just no substitute for throwing a few F's about and when it comes to describing something or someone only a C will do, plan and simple and everyone knows where you stand!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎😎😎😎
 

Is Red tractor detrimental to your mental health?

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    Votes: 309 97.2%
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HSENI names new farm safety champions

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Written by William Kellett from Agriland

Farm-safety-640x360.png
The Health and Safety Executive for Northern Ireland (HSENI) alongside the Farm Safety Partnership (FSP), has named new farm safety champions and commended the outstanding work on farm safety that has been carried out in the farming community in the last 20 years.

Two of these champions are Malcom Downey, retired principal inspector for the Agri/Food team in HSENI and Harry Sinclair, current chair of the Farm Safety Partnership and former president of the Ulster Farmers’ Union (UFU).

Improving farm safety is the key aim of HSENI’s and the FSP’s work and...
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