diary of a comedy sheep farm

[abitdaft]

The likes for the vision of you trying to get the 50kg ewe that feels like 100 when its dead on the bike

Haha, dead and soaking wet!

 

[Gator]

Haha, dead and soaking wet!

more weight to add

 

[abitdaft]

now y'see what you should/ve done is just tied the ewe to the snacker and towed her home....what could possibly have gone wrong....i once towed one home with it's lamb following...t'was the saddest thing

Had to cross a road lol. Not the first time I have hooked a horn around the ball hitch though!

 

[Gator]

Haha, dead and soaking wet!

fishing them out of the reservoirs bad enough and up the banks, better now ive got a winch, saves leaving um a day to drain

 

[Gator]

Had to cross a road lol. Not the first time I have hooked a horn around the ball hitch though!

nicely put

 

[spin cycle]

hang on in there type day today

last night fresh from shower...clean jim jams + padded jacket...to farm for quick check....4 hrs later heavily ectoplasmed...i crawl into a bed at the farm....the bedrooms cold cos i put a hole in the ceiling when i cleared loft out....but at least i've not lost a lamb...only having a small flock i couldn't go to bed to leave them to it...i'd rather be tired than find a mess in the morning....check at 6am....a fresh straggly single...'IS THAT IT!!'...i say...the ewe ignores me...i go back to bed for an hr or so

checking the orphans i see forks all over the place..two of which are in the stable with the pony...'cuddles' was home under orders from 'her highness' yesterday to muck pony out...'cinders' was 'helping'...anyhoo they fudged the job up (and forgot water that i asked them to do)...had that pony stepped on a fork my day would've been 100 times worse...i'm not going to bollock them....far worse...i'm gonna tell tales to 'her highness'

later it's feeding...two more ewes starting...winds blowing...pens full...shorta hurdles...mrs spin and i do tails ect...empty pens into mothering up area....i have a look around then think..'they'll have stay in today....the last thing i need is 'SPUNC' all over the yard again this afternoon'

mrs spin departs for supplies from vet....i have to look at ewes....two sets twins....first ewe just needs a hand with first....second ewe is a full breach with a normal behind.....oh and my clean clothes are clean no more

heating oil arrives...i have to take him to our house after farms delivery

lunch+ nap....better to be busy and crave a nap than be unable to do anything else but be inactive though

i've forgotten mums pills..off i go....i wasn't going to take my boots of at surgery...but the cleaner is there and she looks so downtrodden i feel sorry for her and do

getting tired now...ppl have little niggles that normally you ignore...but start to bite at

the 'peacock' hails me.. 'ere ave you seen scottie's fork? hes grumblin'.....i know exactly where it is...'CUDDLES'...the 'peacock' retrieves it to prevent further diplomatic travail

mrs spin doesn't turn up at 4pm...'K' does though thank fudge....the wind has dropped just enough and she works doors while i replenish hay/beet/straw....mrs spin arrives 5:30 just as i'm getting worried...turns out she went for cuppa tea and lost track o time....i'm just relieved nothing untoward has happened...as i get tired i tend to get anxious about stuff

home ...we have a lamb warming up....ewes under instruction to cross their legs til morning

 

[spin cycle]

first thing set of twins +two singles...we're on a run of singles at mo....i think there's a correlation with weather at tupping time...next year i'll record rough weather conditions and see
another look round and a head sticking out....lamb is dead but i salvage the twin...just

sections in the 'big hut' are a bit skanky/disorganised and same pen areas being reused ....i need a plan....trip to arkwrights but i'm to tired/grumpy for much banter today...'granville' does regail me with the tribulations of an amateur sheep keeper in the next village

back at the yard...coffee+rollie...i have a plan....the section by the combine was created by using up hay/straw...it's fresh and large enough to accomodate the amalgamation of the yet to lambs in the big hut......one problem....'SPUNC'...thats their place...how do i stop them pouring all over the yard....in the end some old hurdles wrenched from their semi permanent gap filling positions c/w with the root bucket,an ibc and a cattle crush.... a 'maginot line' is created.....sheep go out....pen strawed/hay...yet to lambs moved...one empty section is used for pens/mothering up...the other for the returning 'SPUNC'.....now i hope you'll forgive me for keep using the term but in my mind now it refers to a group of sheep for management purposes....so much so while explaining the plan to 'K' and mrs spin i said (while pointing to the empty section) 'then this afternoon we'll put SPUNC in there'.....cue a lecture from mrs spin

lunch and rest....bugger 'blades' have won....coulda done with a draw there..unhappy 'peacock' ...ho hum

edit...posted to early....don't read it yet...oh f**k

ok ...back at farm a wilt has had twins...1 respectable the other a 'hamster'...why are respectable ewes having singles yet ewes i'd quite like to have singles are delivering doubles.....in 'hamsters' favour is his dad is 'puppydog'...exlana x...most older wilts went to him

the 'maginot line' is holding well so i leave ewes+lambs out...what could possibly go wrong...i do find a lame ewe though...swollen back foot...i pop her on back of mule and she rides home happily...ab back at yard..tucked up by combine

canaries win....jobs a good'un

 

[blackieman83]

For all of you who are knee deep in sheep, lambs, straw, Lamlac, spray marker and dosing guns and running on creme eggs and relentless!

Sheep are suicidal,
Simply born to die,
In the most awkward places,
Legs pointing to the sky,

As lambs, they'll drown in buckets,
Or get suffocated by their mum,
You'll catch it drawing dying breaths,
As you haul the twit up off her bum,

The sickly ones are living,
The healthy ones drop dead,
There's suddenly an outbreak,
Of watery mouth throughout the shed,

The lambers have escaped,
And got into the feed store,
So you are merrily sprinkling,
Bicarb back and fore,

There's far too many triplets,
The pet pen’s fit to burst,
And balling hungry lambies,
Haunt your nightmares first,

The vets have got no rubber rings,
Your wellies have sprung a leak,
There's a ewe who's pinching everything,
And you've had 6hrs sleep this week,

The townie cousin's have just appeared,
They really want to help you see,
In their new and shiny boilersuits,
And they're going to stay for tea,

Lambing is a tricky time,
And wee things send you wrong,
So just hold on tight to your wits,
Thank fudge the season isn't long!
©JB

 

[blackieman83]

For all of you who are knee deep in sheep, lambs, straw, Lamlac, spray marker and dosing guns and running on creme eggs and relentless!

Sheep are suicidal,
Simply born to die,
In the most awkward places,
Legs pointing to the sky,

As lambs, they'll drown in buckets,
Or get suffocated by their mum,
You'll catch it drawing dying breaths,
As you haul the twit up off her bum,

The sickly ones are living,
The healthy ones drop dead,
There's suddenly an outbreak,
Of watery mouth throughout the shed,

The lambers have escaped,
And got into the feed store,
So you are merrily sprinkling,
Bicarb back and fore,

There's far too many triplets,
The pet pen’s fit to burst,
And balling hungry lambies,
Haunt your nightmares first,

The vets have got no rubber rings,
Your wellies have sprung a leak,
There's a ewe who's pinching everything,
And you've had 6hrs sleep this week,

The townie cousin's have just appeared,
They really want to help you see,
In their new and shiny boilersuits,
And they're going to stay for tea,

Lambing is a tricky time,
And wee things send you wrong,
So just hold on tight to your wits,
Thank fudge the season isn't long!
©JB

Not written by me but I thought this was a good place to post

 

[spin cycle]

5:45...i'm so comfortable/warm in bed...it's sunday morning...and i've gotta get out..why?,,,thats a fudging good question...feck knows whats waiting....i've a 'jippy' tummy....perhaps i'll have a squirt of spectam

at first look all looks reasonably ok in the pens...another single.....then a ewe with a slight prolapse rises...it pops back in back there's ectoplasm ....a quick feel ....i'll leave her for now...not looking foward to that later though.....tucked by the water tank there's another single...mum not particularly interested...i leave her and trapse home for a bit...WTF am i doing with my life

back later,,,nice set of twins......official i've food poisoning....mrs spin + 'K' helping round...mum + i ride round field...the lame ewe is better

home + sleep...mrs spin goes to mvf and collects 'cinders' who's been on sleepover

back at 2pm....wilt has had twins which another ewe is trying to nick...a yard away an exlana is licking off a single...the ewe from this morning is straining to no effect.....sort rest out but tired and patience being tested,,,,then to THAT ewe....i rate my chances circa 25%....but theres a head +leg...fudging big single...i get it out...just...and it's alive...just....meantime two more singles...one of them being ignored by mum.....my lambing %...is plummeting

by 4pm i'm done in....i have to sit down and try to eat something....fortunately my 'team' arrive...they do the basics...then we muck in doing colostrum, jackets...turning lambing pens out so i've hurdles for the night....home....shower before back later...TBH i'd like to quit right now but it's not that simple and ,on the upside, mrs spin and 'K' are absolute heros

 

[Gator]

Hang in there mate, it'll all be worth while..............so they tell me

 

[Sharpy]

@spin cycle remember at testing times "teamwork makes the dream work". Bit trite I know but it is true.

 

[yellowbelly]

@spin cycle, noli illegitimi carborundum (don't let the little barstewards grind you down)

Lambing is a bit like banging your head against a wall - it's great when you stop

 

[Lili]

Your nearer the end now than when you started @spin cycle
Best wishes

 

[abitdaft]

Lambing can be tough enough without being unwell, hope you feel better tomorrow. Wasn't going to disclose this, but maybe give you a wee smile. My idiot moments today 1. Jumping over a barb wire fence got myself so badly caught up in it, it was like a scene from " The Great Escape"! Had to undo and take off my jacket and the unclip bib and braces to get free. 2. Trying to catch a new set of twin lambs, tripped over my own feet and full on face planted into a clump of rushes!

 

[yellowbelly]

Never mind, @abitdaft, you'll be the height of fashion now............

 

[Gator]

Lambing can be tough enough without being unwell, hope you feel better tomorrow. Wasn't going to disclose this, but maybe give you a wee smile. My idiot moments today 1. Jumping over a barb wire fence got myself so badly caught up in it, it was like a scene from " The Great Escape"! Had to undo and take off my jacket and the unclip bib and braces to get free. 2. Trying to catch a new set of twin lambs, tripped over my own feet and full on face planted into a clump of rushes!

What an no pics

 

[abitdaft]

Sod off you two! It was only to cheer up @spin cycle , anyway it was more like wurzel gummidge meets The Great Escape

 

[Man_in_black]

and then it happened, a stranger finds me in middle of farm yard, just outside cattle shed, wearing grey pants & buckler boots.

instead mrs spin heading down to the lambing shed only to see a 5'8 welsh scrum half type wearing only rigger boots and grey speedos

not guilty

 

[Gator]

Never mind, @abitdaft, you'll be the height of fashion now............

OR.....