diary of a comedy sheep farm

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
monday:rolleyes:

'they'll fall off there' 'boy' states....the forklift tines are loaded with race panels/ hurdles...'NAH...crack on 'i reply:D....sure enough first gateway some hurdles slip off:rolleyes:....worse they fall off onto some electric fence....several shocks/nifty foot work later we're back underway:rolleyes:......off to the low meadows and barns....once there boy + K construct a catching pen whilst i drag the old welgar out:rolleyes:....back in the yard K carries on checking rest of sheep with mum....boy adopts an 'interesting' approach to trimming a bit of beech hedge in the drive:rolleyes::D

i'm off with the black/red nash to the welgar....vermeer/totalled bearing+cs still over at fil's......phone rings....it's 'spk'...'is it alright if they bring the scaffolding this week?'....NOW..we're going to re roof farmhouse...'spk' (pigeon m8) is a superb builder...only trouble is...getting him:rolleyes:....we've been waiting nearly a year:rolleyes:....'of course it is' i reply(y)...we talk pigeons briefly then off i go to hay field ....i've owned the welgar going on 25 years and she wasn't new when i got her....last time out was 2017 when the vermeer had her 'accident':whistle:...but otherwise she's been in an old nissan hut earning her keep as a sheep rubbing post:D
SUMMARY:rolleyes:...the field is baled....not without some effort though
1/ the tiring mechanism plays up...i finally get it to work(y)....two bales after that i finish:banghead:
2/ the catch on the pto is jammed...despite wd40 i can't get it to work...the pto goes on but comes off at intervals:banghead:.....the dull thud as it hits the drawbar signals stopping the tractor:rolleyes:
3/ a bogey and her 'bogettes' emerge from hedge....eat some grass/wander round...she's a regular and'll be waiting to be let back in tommoz:D
4/ a bit frazzed i manage to do a round without dropping the pick up reel:banghead:
5/ the bale density monitor is long kaput....i get feel of how much to put in though:)....except i loose count of where i should be....cue belt smoke...unhappy baler...cracking bale though:D:D
6/ i do complete round with baler back door not shut:banghead::banghead:
7/ a belt comes off...she still works...i press on:whistle:
8/ i finish finally:rolleyes:....but with this and my share of hay at fil's i have 3 months winter feed(y)

now i still have bits/pieces of hay to do but that can wait...i need to treat/go thru sheep next...then it's roof time:)
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
CUSTARD:rolleyes:

next on the list was going through main mob of ewes +lambs.....i have willing volunteers:eek:...mrs spin + boy(y).....they come up at 9:30...before that i need to organise a tractor trailer for supplies/few hurdles....there's a sheet of ply on the trailer...ideal(y)...i carry it about 40 yds and place it over the heating oil pipe...with the scaffs coming i want to make sure a lorry tyre isn't parked right over it:rolleyes:.....anyhoo the 'peacock' hails me 'why didn't you back the trailer closer' he teases:rolleyes:....idle fekker didn't offer to help did he:D....i suppose he's already done his daily good deed:)...the final horsey ppl on the yard are an elderly couple...'the scotties'....now mr scottie totalled his car last week:(....so the peacock's been helping out with with their horse and picked them up and brought them today:).....apparently the peacock is now a regular reader also:eek:

eventually off we all go.... catch them up into the pen we made yesterday....we then operate a sorta 'buddy pen' system.....two pens....fill one...boy +i set to worming then they're let thru into another pen where i count and fly treat....mrs spin supervises worming and monitors those in waiting for possible escape attempts:D.....it works really well(y) ....a bit later K arrives and takes over worming(y)...speeds things up and less effort for me...which is nice cos after yesterday i'm knackered TBH:rolleyes:.....we finish lunchtime on dot(y)

i have my lunch...but still peckish..into the cupboard...what's this:scratchhead:....'farmlea dairy custard':scratchhead:....now whilst others maybe connoisseurs of fine wines with me it's tinned/carton milk products:D....from arkwright we get 'ambrosia devon custard'...i class this as a pudding custard...ie you have to scoop it...our usual lidl is 'salco' carton custard..this is just as good but is slightly thinner and can be drunk straight(y).....i survey the 'farmlea':scratchhead:...open it ..it's quite thin:scratchhead:....this is actually ,solely...drinking custard:)....i waste no time and down it:eek:...bitta a mistake to be honest:whistle:.....with what little blood i had left in my head draining to reinforce my overworked stomach i'm wiped out for the next hour :whistle:....worse is to come.....eventually arriving at the exec boardroom i find my self in a 'first class emergency'.....straight to 'arkwrights'.....lurveerly fags:)

OK..i need to get something useful outta the afternoon:scratchhead:...i know i'll get boy to take me over to fil's to get cs +vermeer(y)....on the way we'll go to local timber place (thacko's) get some fixings for mrs spin's ice cream trailer and some plywood off cuts for the serving doors(y).....we get to fil's...quick chat....weeta's there:)....he agrees it was top class 'boy humour' sunday:D......eventually get home with cs....boy picks me up from farm....home(y)...we offer up the plywood off cuts...they're woefully to small:banghead::banghead:.....i plead diminished responsibility owing to my 'custard dependency':whistle:
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
WTF:eek::eek:

i couldn't make it up...even those involved say its 'bizzare':rolleyes:

two years ago i employed 'professional A' (PA) to do a job of two halves....the first bit didn't go as well as i liked....so we parted ways amicably:)...two months later i did the first part of the job myself(y)...but i needed help to do the second part so i contracted 'professional B' (PB).....last year he reckoned he'd done it...i disagreed and proposed to pay half...with the other when i was satisfied....he agreed(y).....today i got some forms in post...it's the work....it looks good(y)...only trouble is that it's from 'PA':eek::scratchhead:.....i ring 'PA' and tell then we'd parted company and two months later i'd engaged 'PB'....they were very good about it...'oh dear looks like we've done it for nothing':scratchhead:....but WTF has 'PB' been doing:scratchhead:...watch this space:rolleyes:

now this was just after lunch...that afternoon i'd planned to take an elderly expired ewe to knackers then onto screwfix for some bits ....i'm so thrown and delayed i chuck ewe in back of van and head off...i didn't phone ahead:rolleyes:....you've guessed it he's shut:banghead:.....despite assuring me 'there's always someone about at 3pm':rolleyes:.....so yet again i'm in fakenham with a whiffy dead sheep on board:banghead:.....i go to screwfix...i don't have to lock the van :D:D......i know exactly what i want(y)....but...'ah ha name and postcode?':rolleyes:....apparently i don't exisist:eek:....'it's my first visit' i explain....'well why didn't you say'...er i tried:banghead:.....get what i want...quite impressed really:)....then try knackers again...still shut:banghead:....a very smelly trip home:banghead::banghead:

i'm mentally and nasally fecked:rolleyes:

edit...the BOOTS.. 'CALM luxery body spray' i have in the van as an air freshner' was completely out classed today:rolleyes:
 
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yellowbelly

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
N.Lincs
I think she got as far as a set of six drinks tumblers.
We got our tumblers with a barrel of Mobil oil(y)
Spin, being a smoker, will surely be collecting these...........
upload_2019-7-11_6-56-11.jpeg
:)
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
What worries me......
Was the dead sheep left on the car overnight?:confused::hungover::yuck:

c'mon even i'm not that stupid:D:D...i dragged it out as she was in a bag:)....still there was a powerful smell:eek:..what i needed to do was wash the back out but was tired and it seemed pointless as she'd likely be back in it the next day:banghead:...SOoo...i hatched a 'cunning plan'....i got a garlic bulb...is that the correct term:scratchhead:...collection of cloves:scratchhead:....anyhow...i crushed the whole lot up and placed it on a plate on the dash overnight(y)....good plan(y).....not exactly:eek:...powerful stuff:banghead:......at least you can clean dead sheep smell away....not this garlic:eek:.....ho hum:rolleyes:

now i was a little 'stressed' this morning:rolleyes:....took the ewe in after phoning first and i put her in the trailer:rolleyes:.........getting back i decided to have an easier day....book work and listen to cricket (y)

mrs spin has just informed me the drains are blocked again:banghead:....what have my 'little angels' blocked it with this time:banghead:.....tea....then back in the 'pong' again:banghead::banghead:
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
so todays theme is 'diversification':)....being a small farm we've always diversified and ,on the whole, it's been enjoyable:)......my main gripe is that the mysterious 'they' group are always telling farmers to diversify ...BUT... core farming must be kept profitable otherwise your diversified income is used to subsidise food production....whats the point of that:rolleyes:

anyhoo.....to work...fix a tap for mrs spin's icecream van....check(y)......go round sheep(y)......tenants sink leaking again..i'd not used sealant:banghead:....boy is with me ...he helps as i re do(y).....scaffs turn up..they're ok.. have i said we're re roofing farmhouse:scratchhead:...next boy and i turn our attention to framing out mrs spin's new ice cream trailer,,,,basically stud work to take some special plastic sheets....boy is trained in measuring/cutting the wood then he holds wood inside as i use self tappers from outside;)....noon we run out of wood:banghead:.......ring mrs spin...'there should be plenty ..you're doing to much'...thats a first me over engineering somat:D:D .. but it's off to 'thackos' for me:rolleyes:.....in the next 90 mins i manage to go to 'thackos' (one of the blokes takes the pee over my slightly distressed boots:whistle:...'typical farmer; he quips:D)....get a haircut (i have plenty of hair for my age before you start :rolleyes:) and have lunch:)

re supplied we crack on to finish....check mum.....then off to pigeon club....good craic...'pj' got all his lerwick birds home and is in top form as we congratulate / take the pee:D:D.....he even has a packet of B&H:eek::eek:... we all get one:eek::eek:......normally he's scrounging of us:D....and he's bought a cake for tommoz night(y)...'spk' and i get in a muddle of how many birds in the crates...'pigeon boss wife'...'god you two are worse than work':D.....she works in special needs:)

last job...to wells...fix tap....ice cream and home:)
 

spin cycle

Member
Location
north norfolk
well that was a success:D:D....just popped down to the langham bluebell cos our local reggae band was on...only there about an hour....none of 'cinders' old school friends there...mrs spin got cold ...i managed to spill jamaican food down my shirt:D:D....probably just as well TBH....few more pints + later wouldn't have been best prep for my family service tommoz:D.....i'm hideously under prepared....gonna have to 'wing and pray it':whistle:....just emailed 'gerry' to see if it'd be ok to pray for england winning the toss and posting 350 at lords(y)

workwise...moved + weighed some lambs...resealed barn bath , tidied/swept courtyard and trimmed a bush:whistle::D......ibc water round some paddocks....pigeon club(y)

edit...just heard back from 'gerry'...apparently it would be 'inappropriate':scratchhead::D
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

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  • Up to 25%

    Votes: 66 34.9%
  • 25-50%

    Votes: 30 15.9%
  • 50-75%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 75-100%

    Votes: 3 1.6%
  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

    Votes: 7 3.7%

Red Tractor drops launch of green farming scheme amid anger from farmers

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As reported in Independent


quote: “Red Tractor has confirmed it is dropping plans to launch its green farming assurance standard in April“

read the TFF thread here: https://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/gfc-was-to-go-ahead-now-not-going-ahead.405234/
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