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Livestock & Forage
diary of a comedy sheep farm
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<blockquote data-quote="spin cycle" data-source="post: 5987426" data-attributes="member: 12281"><p>now..we are a cat household...so this morning i spotted a dead mouse (we've a regular supply<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" />)....walking foward stooping to pick it up i feel another furry carcase under my foot.....the first mouse was purely bait with the second camouflaged on the door mat<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite44" alt=":banghead:" title="Bang Head :banghead:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":banghead:" /></p><p></p><p>making my first nescafe of the day (other instant coffees are available but all taste like shite) i notice a small heat rash on my wrist<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" />....now a long while ago a drunk bloke in a pub told me 'pussy juice cures everything'....so i grab the nearest cat...gently squeeze...but nothing comes out<img src="/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/scratchhead.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":scratchhead:" title="Scratchead :scratchhead:" data-shortname=":scratchhead:" />....i resort to washing my hands and hand cream<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>get up the farm...all quiet...feed round but emergencies appear that can only be fixed by a trip to 'arkwrights' (the village superstore in the next village).....off i go leaving the 'help' to do bottles ect<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite27" alt=":whistle:" title="Whistling :whistle:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":whistle:" />.....now calling the owner 'arkwright' seems a bit cheeky to me...but he doesn't seem to mind..even to the extent of having his tea in an 'open all hours' mug<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite24" alt="(y)" title="Thumbs Up (y)" loading="lazy" data-shortname="(y)" />....there is even a 'granville' who helps<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>anyhow i arrive and granville smiles and tells me i should be farming rabbits as they were 20 quid plus at swaffam fur and feather market on sat<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" />.....he proceeds to get me some unleaded for mums gator and i enter the shop....'TOP MAN' exclaims arkwright..chuckles 'good business ,good business'.....'none of that flannel' i reply 'i have a class one emergency'......arkwright immediatley reaches for the amber leaf rolling tobbaco<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />.....some chicken for mums fat spaniel rounds off the shop....only got skinless breast...HOW MUCH<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" />....then i remember it's from the butcher who takes my cull ewes...so it's all good<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>on way home see a neighbour who's mum recently died doing the rounds ....i stop and give my condolences<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />....he's a bachelor who lives .now, only with his 90+ dad......to my surprise he is remarkably chipper and philosophical<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite24" alt="(y)" title="Thumbs Up (y)" loading="lazy" data-shortname="(y)" />...she didn't suffer, it was quick ect...i know exactly what he means<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>the conversation turns to stewardship....now...i'm the tenant of the village's 'charity lands' of which he is a trustee....i claim stewardship and share the proceeds with the trust as a top up to the rent. when i first broached the idea 9 yrs ago he was a little sceptical...but now he hopes we might be able to extend...just as my enthusiasm for stewardship has evaporated...funny how things turn round<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p><p></p><p>back to farm....mrs spin and cinders have arrived as it's mum's birthday....cake ,prezzies and cards<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />...mum always adds a yr to her age so while she is now 78......she'll proclaim to me if i 'kick off' about something..'i am 79 you know'<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>just time before lunch to turn out a couple of empty ewes so they can see out their withdrawl<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite24" alt="(y)" title="Thumbs Up (y)" loading="lazy" data-shortname="(y)" /></p><p></p><p>afternoon spent 'servicing' the CS...inbetween supervising some 'surplus'<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /> building supplies arriving from my best friend 'kirk' (as in captain...due to his prowess with the ladies in days of yore<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />.....i was a mere buck rogers in comparison<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite27" alt=":whistle:" title="Whistling :whistle:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":whistle:" />).....we went to school together and he went on to work in marketing ....earning as much as 1k ac of cereals typically grosses<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite9" alt=":eek:" title="Eek! :eek:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":eek:" />....before semi retiring to next village with his 20 yrs younger brazilian wife and two girls....yes it is as good as it sounds..or it would be except his mum has just been given 2 yrs to live<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />.....after living all over the world at least he's home and his mum can enjoy her grandaughters<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>anyhoo CS just needs new oil cap and the 'winter climate pack' (new door<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" />)......and it's ploughing heaven<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="spin cycle, post: 5987426, member: 12281"] now..we are a cat household...so this morning i spotted a dead mouse (we've a regular supply:rolleyes:)....walking foward stooping to pick it up i feel another furry carcase under my foot.....the first mouse was purely bait with the second camouflaged on the door mat:banghead: making my first nescafe of the day (other instant coffees are available but all taste like shite) i notice a small heat rash on my wrist:eek:....now a long while ago a drunk bloke in a pub told me 'pussy juice cures everything'....so i grab the nearest cat...gently squeeze...but nothing comes out:scratchhead:....i resort to washing my hands and hand cream:) get up the farm...all quiet...feed round but emergencies appear that can only be fixed by a trip to 'arkwrights' (the village superstore in the next village).....off i go leaving the 'help' to do bottles ect:whistle:.....now calling the owner 'arkwright' seems a bit cheeky to me...but he doesn't seem to mind..even to the extent of having his tea in an 'open all hours' mug(y)....there is even a 'granville' who helps:) anyhow i arrive and granville smiles and tells me i should be farming rabbits as they were 20 quid plus at swaffam fur and feather market on sat:eek:.....he proceeds to get me some unleaded for mums gator and i enter the shop....'TOP MAN' exclaims arkwright..chuckles 'good business ,good business'.....'none of that flannel' i reply 'i have a class one emergency'......arkwright immediatley reaches for the amber leaf rolling tobbaco:D:D.....some chicken for mums fat spaniel rounds off the shop....only got skinless breast...HOW MUCH:eek:....then i remember it's from the butcher who takes my cull ewes...so it's all good:) on way home see a neighbour who's mum recently died doing the rounds ....i stop and give my condolences:(....he's a bachelor who lives .now, only with his 90+ dad......to my surprise he is remarkably chipper and philosophical(y)...she didn't suffer, it was quick ect...i know exactly what he means:) the conversation turns to stewardship....now...i'm the tenant of the village's 'charity lands' of which he is a trustee....i claim stewardship and share the proceeds with the trust as a top up to the rent. when i first broached the idea 9 yrs ago he was a little sceptical...but now he hopes we might be able to extend...just as my enthusiasm for stewardship has evaporated...funny how things turn round:rolleyes: back to farm....mrs spin and cinders have arrived as it's mum's birthday....cake ,prezzies and cards:)...mum always adds a yr to her age so while she is now 78......she'll proclaim to me if i 'kick off' about something..'i am 79 you know':D:D just time before lunch to turn out a couple of empty ewes so they can see out their withdrawl(y) afternoon spent 'servicing' the CS...inbetween supervising some 'surplus':rolleyes: building supplies arriving from my best friend 'kirk' (as in captain...due to his prowess with the ladies in days of yore:D:D.....i was a mere buck rogers in comparison:whistle:).....we went to school together and he went on to work in marketing ....earning as much as 1k ac of cereals typically grosses:eek:....before semi retiring to next village with his 20 yrs younger brazilian wife and two girls....yes it is as good as it sounds..or it would be except his mum has just been given 2 yrs to live:(.....after living all over the world at least he's home and his mum can enjoy her grandaughters:) anyhoo CS just needs new oil cap and the 'winter climate pack' (new door:rolleyes:)......and it's ploughing heaven:D:D [/QUOTE]
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diary of a comedy sheep farm
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