Divorce and the family farm

[kfpben]

So after 30 years of mutual dislike, distrust and extra marital affairs my parents have decided to get divorced. It’s for the best but I really don’t want to be dragged into it. I haven’t got too much respect for either of them, especially my father who has spent decades as a depressive alcoholic.

I have now run the farm for the past three years- both my parents have an outside business interest. I am technically a partner in the business but only 0.5%. Dad is a 98.50% shareholder. Conceivably we might have to sell the lot to set things straight between my parents and my brothers (who are not involved in the farm). I’m 31 and was hoping to push the farm on to be a much better, more profitable unit. Instead I may be without a business and may have to leave my farm cottage. I’m pretty pee'd off and vulnerable having made considerable personal and career sacrifices to join the business at their request.

Does anyone have any of their own experiences/advice that they could share? Sorry to unload it on TFF but there’s not really anyone I can speak to, especially regarding the business aspects. I’m sure you all know what small rural communities are like!

 

[betweenthelines]

Been there, had to leave my home on Boxing Day many years ago with wife and 3 month old son due to rest of my family being utter sh1!s.

Clean break is the best thing-both for your parents and for you.

And be warned, as soon as money's involved your siblings will be sticking their oar in.

 

[Chae1]

I'd get out of there.

 

[rob1]

I think you need to see a solicitor asap,one that knows about farms and family, do it before the other two do so you can take any action to protect yourself

 

[ollie989898]

Need a specialist solicitor ASAP. Make sure the old man (and yourself) do not get wrapped up in any emotional-alities- they don't count in a court room. A solicitor will know roughly what sort of deal is likely required, by the sounds of it the judge will insist on 50:50 but we do not know enough details. Get out of there ASAP and hope that they settle quickly, you can spend A LOT of money with solicitors going back and worth, letters, phone calls, mediation, ad infinitum, that is how they work.

 

[Landrover]

If I was you I would be in touch with a solicitor tomorrow and get some advice as soon as you can ! I'm sure someone on here can recommend one in your area. If not if your a member of the NFU they have some good ones. Sister is going through a horrible divorce at the moment and is seeing the benefits of having a very good solicitor

 

[multi power]

Not exactly the same situation, but my parents sold family farm recently, most of my adult life wasted for fudge all
Promises, lies etc etc
Get good legal advice asap

 

[kfpben]

Thank you all for the advice. A friend of mine has recently returned to the area from London to work in a local law firm with a good reputation. I’ll ask him what the best route forward is.

My worry is spending a shed load of money on legal fees when I don’t have a vast amount of savings as it is. Hopefully it will be fairly amicable- but who knows!

 

[wasted years]

Not exactly the same situation, but my parents sold family farm recently, most of my adult life wasted for fudge all
Promises, lies etc etc
Get good legal advice asap

Can't like that at all, poor do.

 

[multi power]

Can't like that at all, poor do.

Yes indeed

 

[davieh3350]

What was your career that you sacrificed?

 

[kfpben]

What was your career that you sacrificed?

Good job for an ag manufacturer, plenty of scope for progression in that sector, both at home and abroad.

If we had no farm though (and if dad hadn’t been so unstable, leaving mum in bits) I would have stayed living in Scotland. My best mates are there and I love the hills.

 

[2wheels]

easy said i know but get the hell out and leave them to it. you have got to look after yourself, there is life after farming.

 

[milkloss]

Had a good mate and his father bought him a farm of his own to make a good start at life. Lucky I know but he was a keen bloke, honest and hard working. Got going well, young family etc etc. Dad got divorced and he had to be out in two weeks,


Family

 

[davieh3350]

Good job for an ag manufacturer, plenty of scope for progression in that sector, both at home and abroad.

If we had no farm though (and if dad hadn’t been so unstable, leaving mum in bits) I would have stayed living in Scotland. My best mates are there and I love the hills.

Would you get your job back with them?

might be a wee welding business and a sh!tty farm coming available in the hills here

 

[rose pilchett]

Sh1tty bar steward parents again, feel sorry for the OP and multi , my father was and still is a lying useless booze hound every shooting season
Happy to string you along so the work gets done to facilitate their lifestyles but unwilling to hand over the reigns as promised/ alluded to

 

[Pieces_of_Eight]

Sympathies with the OP

After 30 years of marriage I assume it's not as straightforward as your Dad owning all but 1.5% of the farm?

 

[nick...]

Wish you all the best,what ever happens
Nick...

 

[Flasheart]

There are a lot of things which will decide how the divorce is settled, it won't necessarily be a 50: 50 split between your parents. As a partner in the business and probably the heir apparent your situation will be considered, but ultimately it is a dispute between your parents and good legal advice is a must for them.

There is little direct input you or your siblings can have in the process.

Speaking from experience, expensive and bitter. I divorced and fought hard , successfully, to keep the farm together for my son and future generations.

 

[betweenthelines]

easy said i know but get the hell out and leave them to it. you have got to look after yourself, there is life after farming.

I second that. Cut your losses and start again

Unless the farm is huge, your 0.5% will disappear in legal fees and the emotional strain will scar you for life.