Freeloaders

[Tomjoad]

I've been thinking about this; it's true that my family members mostly tended to clan together - those that know me, may know most are still working in a farm business started in 1927 by my grandfather - and leaving it was strongly discouraged (along the lines of "you stupid bastrad, you're too stupid to farm on your own, because you're stupid AND you're a bastrad, now pick up that hoe and get back to work, you stupid bastrad, etc etc") so that everyone was biased against setting up on one's own.

Looking back, I s'pose that by successfully setting up on my own, twice, I've somewhat pee'd up the family trouser leg.

But there's more to it than that - has anyone else been brought up to feel, and be, responsible for other family members, just 'cos they're disadvantaged? It's taken me most of my adult life to get rid of that burdensome feeling of obligation which, I now realise, wasn't normal. Or sustainable - the more you give, the more they want off you.

Or is it just me?

Oh yes. Family story from many years ago.

One brother earned £20 a week, the other £15. The higher earner was told to hand over £2.50 a week to other one to make it fair.

Who says farmers aren't socialists?

 

[jojo]

ffs you want me to come down and give him a smack?i thought my family were a bunch of fecked up nutters

If I thought it might work but it won't they took his guns of him and he somehow found a riffle so armed police had to go take that off him it's safer to stay away just a sad state to get in

 

[Walterp]

not interested in playing amature psychologist here, But have you really got over it?...

I don't know much about getting over things, but what I've seen over the years suggests three things:

1. people take years to recover from trauma like a divorce, if they ever do forget what it felt like to be betrayed. More likely, they just put it to the back of their mind;

2. those who say 'it happened last year, and I'm with someone else now, and I'm over it' are either pretending or are spectacularly callous;

3. bereavements, especially of a child, you never get over - the number of clients who told me this was one of the things I remember most about my time in practice.

An uncle of mine reversed over his toddler son on the farmyard, in an Army surplus lorry, and my aunt spent the rest of her life blaming him, and herself, for his death.

Question: What else was she supposed to do?

Me? I don't think I'm any different from anyone else, it'll take years to create enough life experience to dilute the years wasted.

 

[multi power]

You should have asked for a partnership in writing 15 years ago

why do you think i went to nz? i just made the mistake of coming back

 

[Baling Hay]

why do you think i went to nz? i just made the mistake of coming back

Why did you come back?

 

[multi power]

Why did you come back?

i listened to dads tall stories n bulls**t

 

[Baling Hay]

i listened to dads tall stories n bulls**t

And being your Father you like to hope they mean the best and there is truth in their words!! I have fallen for that too!!

 

[Walterp]

Why did you come back?

Answer: it must have been a girl or a promise?

 

[Baling Hay]

Answer: it must have been a girl or a promise?

Promise of a girl??

 

[multi power]

Answer: it must have been a girl or a promise?

Promise of a girl??

no girls were involved

 

[Walterp]

Promise of a girl??

That 'come home son, we need you here' line has been used so often, I'm amazed anyone listens any more - A G Street had it done to him in 1921, just as he was setting about getting a section out in Manitoba; my brother had it done to him when he was out in NSW, and loads in between.

 

[FonterraFarmer]

why do you think i went to nz? i just made the mistake of coming back

Why did you come back?

i listened to dads tall stories n bulls**t

Nothing a flight on a tin bird can't fix, just have to convince Mrs Multi power....

 

[multi power]

Nothing a flight on a tin bird can't fix, just have to convince Mrs Multi power....

tell you what, you convince her n you can have a months holiday on me

 

[multi power]

Nothing a flight on a tin bird can't fix, just have to convince Mrs Multi power....

any calves yet?

 

[multi power]

Promise of a girl??

i screwed up, i should have nabbed one of the natives while i was there, like @kiwi pom

 

[Baling Hay]

i screwed up, i should have nabbed one of the natives while i was there, like @kiwi pom

You wish you nabbed Kiwi Pom?? I never knew you were that way inclined!!!!!!!

 

[multi power]

You wish you nabbed Kiwi Pom?? I never knew you were that way inclined!!!!!!!

no! he married one of the locals

 

[Baling Hay]

no! he married one of the locals

Oh I know I was only messing with ya!

 

[FonterraFarmer]

any calves yet?

Just starting, it'll be all on at the end of the week.

 

[kiwi pom]

Just starting, it'll be all on at the end of the week.

I'm back at work next Monday, cant imagine there will be much to do for a couple of weeks though. Calving's a bit later down here.

@multi power Did I mention she's a farmers daughter? Maybe I should become a freeloader.