Funeral plans.

[Giles1]

I don't have one, the kids can deal with me as they see fit. Leave me out in a field hereabouts overnight and the badgers will go a long way to solving the disposal problem. One of the local farming community who did a lot of digger work has said he will dig his own hole,he hasn't figured out how he's going to back fill it yet ... For myself I would be quite happy,(or at that stage passed caring), for Douglasbrae to collect me and incinerate me with the rest of the deadstock on the wagon. Poetic justice in a way as I've put one or two beasts their way. Is there actually any legal reason,assuming a natural death after a lifetime exposed to asbestos,diesel fumes,waste oil,dusty fodder,chemicals etc, I couldn't be disposed of that way? Got to be cheaper than hearses ,Council pyres and ministers as well as a hell of a lot less hassle,one phone call, job done.

 

[DeeGee]

I don't have one, the kids can deal with me as they see fit. Leave me out in a field hereabouts overnight and the badgers will go a long way to solving the disposal problem. One of the local farming community who did a lot of digger work has said he will dig his own hole,he hasn't figured out how he's going to back fill it yet ... For myself I would be quite happy,(or at that stage passed caring), for Douglasbrae to collect me and incinerate me with the rest of the deadstock on the wagon. Poetic justice in a way as I've put one or two beasts their way. Is there actually any legal reason,assuming a natural death after a lifetime exposed to asbestos,diesel fumes,waste oil,dusty fodder,chemicals etc, I couldn't be disposed of that way? Got to be cheaper than hearses ,Council pyres and ministers as well as a hell of a lot less hassle,one phone call, job done.

Christ! I bet you’re a bundle of laughs to go out with on a Friday night.

Anyway, I will backfill the hole with my Loadall, but it has to be cash and no post dated cheques.

 

[Dry Rot]

Recently did my will. The solicitor asked if I had any special instructions about funeral arrangements. My reply, "Cheap". So I totally identify with Giles, though I doubt whether incineration will necessarily be cheap. I'm certainly not leaving anything for those who regularly search the obituaries so they can attend a free party!

 

[Hindsight]

Recently did my will. The solicitor asked if I had any special instructions about funeral arrangements. My reply, "Cheap". So I totally identify with Giles, though I doubt whether incineration will necessarily be cheap. I'm certainly not leaving anything for those who regularly search the obituaries so they can attend a free party!

Could you give the date for my diary please. Would hate to miss it Best wishes for the New Year and many more!

 

[Hindsight]

I don't have one, the kids can deal with me as they see fit. Leave me out in a field hereabouts overnight and the badgers will go a long way to solving the disposal problem. One of the local farming community who did a lot of digger work has said he will dig his own hole,he hasn't figured out how he's going to back fill it yet ... For myself I would be quite happy,(or at that stage passed caring), for Douglasbrae to collect me and incinerate me with the rest of the deadstock on the wagon. Poetic justice in a way as I've put one or two beasts their way. Is there actually any legal reason,assuming a natural death after a lifetime exposed to asbestos,diesel fumes,waste oil,dusty fodder,chemicals etc, I couldn't be disposed of that way? Got to be cheaper than hearses ,Council pyres and ministers as well as a hell of a lot less hassle,one phone call, job done.

Crumbs, just though I would drop in before beddie byes and the headline thread is this. Gracious this could be one to follow. I plan to be late for mine.

 

[Hindsight]

I don't have one, the kids can deal with me as they see fit. Leave me out in a field hereabouts overnight and the badgers will go a long way to solving the disposal problem. One of the local farming community who did a lot of digger work has said he will dig his own hole,he hasn't figured out how he's going to back fill it yet ... For myself I would be quite happy,(or at that stage passed caring), for Douglasbrae to collect me and incinerate me with the rest of the deadstock on the wagon. Poetic justice in a way as I've put one or two beasts their way. Is there actually any legal reason,assuming a natural death after a lifetime exposed to asbestos,diesel fumes,waste oil,dusty fodder,chemicals etc, I couldn't be disposed of that way? Got to be cheaper than hearses ,Council pyres and ministers as well as a hell of a lot less hassle,one phone call, job done.

How does that fit in with Farm Assurance - reference another thread. Fallen stock?

 

[Kidds]

I sold a field and they day after completion the buyer buried his mum in it.
Unusual but all legal and above board.


I have made it known I am to be buried in my field, nice and deep. It is where I spent my life so would like to stay there.

 

[PSQ]

Those daytime TV adverts, where older actors are pretending to be delighted that they’ve signed up to some pre-paid over priced funeral scam:
“I’ve signed up to ‘Worm & Burns’ funeral plan so my family don’t have to worry about shoving my corpse in a hole in the ground”,
- “Is that right Tom?, why with such a good deal I bet you can’t wait to kick the bucket!” ( both look to camera and grin like lunatics).

 

[FonterraFarmer]

I don't want a hearse, will instruct my family to use the ute and two ratchet tiedowns!!! ????

 

[yellowbelly]

Two old bachelor brothers, who farmed not so far from here, were busy drilling spring barley when their old dad died.

They reckoned they hadn't time to 'deal with him' as they were keen to get drilled up before the weather broke.

So, they sat him in the pig salting tub in the back kitchen as it was nice and cool in there.
Drilling eventually finished, they fetched the undertaker.

Problem was, the old boy had set in a 'L' shape and they couldn't get him in the coffin

I've always said, I want to be buried in the fold yard - then when they muck out, in spring, I'll get spread on the land and do a bit of good.

 

[Lowland1]

My grandfather (mum's) told my Dad he did n't want anything special doing when he died. No problem my Dad told him a month in the muck heap and he would go through the spreader a treat. This was n't a good answer apparently. It was before the present laws on fallen stock so no doubt today we would have had someone collect him.
My Mum was buried at home on the lawn in a biodegradable coffin with solar lights as markers problem is every time the lawn is mowed you have to make sure you replace them correctly so by now we're not quite sure where the grave is.
To cap this all my Dads half sister and husband apparently have a green field burial site business somewhere in Shropshire.

 

[Farmer Roy]

I don't have one, the kids can deal with me as they see fit. Leave me out in a field hereabouts overnight and the badgers will go a long way to solving the disposal problem. One of the local farming community who did a lot of digger work has said he will dig his own hole,he hasn't figured out how he's going to back fill it yet ... For myself I would be quite happy,(or at that stage passed caring), for Douglasbrae to collect me and incinerate me with the rest of the deadstock on the wagon. Poetic justice in a way as I've put one or two beasts their way. Is there actually any legal reason,assuming a natural death after a lifetime exposed to asbestos,diesel fumes,waste oil,dusty fodder,chemicals etc, I couldn't be disposed of that way? Got to be cheaper than hearses ,Council pyres and ministers as well as a hell of a lot less hassle,one phone call, job done.

not sure UK law, but I’m guessing it would be similar

once all the legal paperwork is done, you can just have a private cremation / burial without all the “extras”
there are certainly budget options available, but I would be pretty sure the actual disposal of a body would have to be done by someone appropriately licensed or authorised to dispose of humans. I very much doubt if your local knackers yard could legally do it

I work in the funeral industry and yes, it is as bad as the wedding industry for costs & mark ups & emotional “up selling”. All that is required from a legal point of view is death certificate / life extinct certificates & a legal form of disposal

 

[Farmer Roy]

Problem was, the old boy had set in a L' shape and they couldn't get him in the coffin

people end up in all sorts of strange positions
there are ways and means
we still get them into the casket . . .

 

[Farmer Roy]

I don't want a hearse, will instruct my family to use the ute and two ratchet tiedowns!!! ????

we’ve had them on the backs of utes, on a load all behind a TE20 Fergie ( that was a bit dodgy as the hydraulics kept creeping down & we were worried the casket would fall off ) , motorbike sidecar, etc etc . . .

 

[FonterraFarmer]

we’ve had them on the backs of utes, on a load all behind a TE20 Fergie ( that was a bit dodgy as the hydraulics kept creeping down & we were worried the casket would fall off ) , motorbike sidecar, etc etc . . .

I want a proper ute ,no shity Falcon or Commodire pretenter??

 

[Farmer Roy]

As for burial in your own field or garden etc - here it is very rare to be allowed to be buried anywhere but an approved cemetery. Some people do have private family plots on their farms, but there has to be a history of it. I don’t think you can just decide you want to be buried down the back paddock if there isn’t a history of it . . .

 

[Farmer Roy]

But, you can put your ashes just about anywhere . . .

 

[Lowland1]

We have discussed the Viking funeral. ie. Being sent adrift in a burning tractor although my son suggested it for insurance purposes.

 

[Nearly]

Dad missed his own funeral. We dropped him off at the crem the previous day, just Mum, Me, Mrs N and my brother.
None of this going 30 miles to the crem in convoy then losing folk on the way back.
It was just a short service at village church then back to ours.
Friend who's a funeral director says there's a lot of folk being dropped off at the crem back door without a rent-a-vic rubbish service. Just using the burner and getting ashes back.

I'd rather my lot used the money in my private account / mattress when I go than bury me on the farm and devalue the farm by £K.
There's a bit at the top of the farm where the 'pets' are planted. Sprinkle me there.

 

[topground]

I have made it known that I want my body to be used for medical research. That way no money wasted on funeral costs. I hope to have some notice of my impending demise so that I can organise , attend and pay for my own wake.
No one has an obligation to organise or pay for a relatives funeral or anyone else's funeral. In tbe absence of any arrangements the Council has to make arrangements for the proper disposal of the remains. They then recover the costs from the estate of the deceased so an option is to organise your affairs so that you are skint when you die and the council pick up the tab for the incineration of your carcase.