Honest (if odd) search for open-minded farmer

[MattDM]

Is this a lone fetish or do you have female friends that do this with you?

It's just me (though I bet there are a lot of others into this sort of thing, men and women).

 

[spin cycle]

Would you need to charge VAT on this when invoicing......and how do you explain it to HMRC???

only way i could think to perhaps make it work would be to 'sell' a muckheap to the op with the proviso that it be shifted in a certain time period or it reverts back to it's original owner.....the purchaser would of course be able to 'inspect' the muckheap during this period

i wouldn't fancy ringing my insurer and so how much to let ppl 'play in my muckheap'

 

[Hilly]

@Hilly

fooook off you ! im the only weirdo on my farm none more allowed on ive been wallowing in the stuff all day.

 

[Dry Rot]

Would you need to charge VAT on this when invoicing......and how do you explain it to HMRC???

Risk assessment?

These days you probably have to go on a course, pass a test, and become registered.

 

[JBM]

@Farma Parma might be able to help he has a big pile of muck sat doing nothing. Ideal for your poo party !

 

[ACEngineering]

Its days like this I wish I had stock, I'd say yes to to prove if Matt was genuine in his request, and the remuneration would come in handy, could even be a good diversification revenue stream, all you need is an above ground swimming pool for a few hundred £ and the whole thing becomes a lot safer

Would you volunteer for life gaurd duty?

 

[Extreme Optimist]

only way i could think to perhaps make it work would be to 'sell' a muckheap to the op with the proviso that it be shifted in a certain time period or it reverts back to it's original owner.....the purchaser would of course be able to 'inspect' the muckheap during this period

i wouldn't fancy ringing my insurer and so how much to let ppl 'play in my muckheap'

Yes, but if you move the muckheap off your property, then you may need a Waste Transfer License and if you allow it on your own place, you would only be allowed 28 days before requiring full planning consent and Officer Approval!!

 

[ACEngineering]

Maybe it could be done as a mail order direct to the crazy people that get there kicks out of it? Maybe concentrated liquid form so it can be added as bubble bath

Soon find out if theres a market for it with a quick advert on ebay

Local water board might not be too chuffed though!

 

[ACEngineering]

Dont denmark have a problem with too much surry at minute with farms ordered to reduce cow numbers back to 2015 levels? Maybe this could be a solution for them as well

 

[Adeptandy]

Would you volunteer for life gaurd duty?

If it was in a 15 foot diameter splash pool, I reckon a long hook would do

 

[spin cycle]

Yes, but if you move the muckheap off your property, then you may need a Waste Transfer License and if you allow it on your own place, you would only be allowed 28 days before requiring full planning consent and Officer Approval!!

yes...but you wouldn't be moving the muckheap.....you've 'sold it' in situ....ready to be collected so no pp....if not collected the vendor takes back ownership so can spread ect

might be wrong....just thinking ways round H&S problems ,liabilities ect

 

[DrivingDig]

It's just me (though I bet there are a lot of others into this sort of thing, men and women).

Matt; assuming this isn't a wind-up seriously consider seeing a doctor before pursuing this new 'hobby'. Animal waste contains some really nasty bugs. Any open wounds or accidental swallowing and take your pick from E-coli, leptospirosis, Salmonella, Cryptosporidium, Listeria infections to name but a few things you really really don't want to catch. This activity stands a good chance of putting you seriously ill in hospital and any farmer stupid enough to assist you in Court if you die. Get some help!

 

[milkloss]

The only product I can think of on farm that could provide any form of erotic entertainment is some bales of straw and silage sheet to make a pool and a hundred litres or so of lambing lube. Throw in some bikini clad ladies and job done

 

[Farma Parma]

@Farma Parma might be able to help he has a big pile of muck sat doing nothing. Ideal for your poo party !

Ha Bloody Ha......

 

[JCMaloney]

And I thought requests for metal detecting/shooting etc etc were random................... I reckon this will give "Dead Horse" a run for its money.

So the OP wants to "muck about in muck" and pay??? Makes me feel rather "normal" all of a sudden.

 

[Henarar]

It's just me (though I bet there are a lot of others into this sort of thing, men and women).

can't you just find a big tank and put it in your garden and get some local farmer to sell you some sh!t, you could always say its to make your roses grow

 

[ThatsSomeSheep]

can't you just find a big tank and put it in your garden and get some local farmer to sell you some sh!t, you could always say its to make your roses grow

Where's the thrill in that (!?!)

TSS

 

[Henarar]

Where's the thrill in that (!?!)

TSS

I don't know if its the sh!t that flicks his switch or the running about a farm with nart on ?

 

[MattDM]

I don't know if its the sh!t that flicks his switch or the running about a farm with nart on ?

The former (not that it's more normal or anything)

 

[Henarar]

The former (not that it's more normal or anything)

how about my idea then ?